A/n warning may trigger
After everything I did, I am shocked to still see Derek here by my side. After what I did to myself I am surprised to still see him here. After everything I did to us. And stiles. My little brother stiles. Although I hurt him so badly he is still here. They both are even after everything. Even after i tried to die.
People call those who attempt suicide weak, and that they can't handle the real world when in reality it is the opposite. The real world can't handle them, so they push them down, squashing everything good about them until there is nothing but sadness left. And that's not right but that's what happens and there is no escape. Not even for you, not even for me.
I attempted to kill myself but Derek caught me before I could. He stopped the knife from plunging into my stomach with tears in his eyes, just as he told me to drop the knife. He did that and he helped me. Although he was still too late. By the time he had got there I had covered myself in cuts and here we are now days later and they aren't healing. Even my supernatural powers aren't healing them. Stiles believes that I am not allowing myself to heal so he stops by everyday to talk to me allowing Derek to desperately find a cure. But now is one off the few times that I have them together and for some reason I feel like it may be the last.
"Derek, you gotta get her to move." Stiles groans completely unaware that I am listening.
"She will move, when she is healed." Derek replies, unmoving from his seat at my side.
"Can you not see her?" Stiles shouts, anxiety clinging at his throat. "She isn't healing Derek. She is lying there, sweating and groaning, and not healing because she doesn't she believe she can. If you just let me make her move, if she stands or even walks about, it will give her hope that she can heal. " Derek leans forward placing his head in his hands.
"It isn't enough." Derek softly says and stiles slumps slightly tears in his eyes.
"But it's the only thing we have left. Hope is the only thing we have now." Stiles voice cracks as tears run down his sides. He brushes them away before Derek saw but i saw them and I know that they were there.
"Stiles." I murmur and he rushes over kneeling beside the bed I am lying in. I reach my hand out and stroke his face. He catches my hand and holds them together by his face. "It's okay Stiles, it's going to be okay soon."
"That means your leaving me doesn't it?" When I don't answer a sob escapes his frame as tears fall down both of our faces. "Your leaving me and dad like mum?"
"I am going to see her again stiles, don't you want that for me?" When his tears became too much for him he broke down letting my hand fall and I turn to Derek. I open my mouth but he beats me to it, cutting me off.
"Don't." His voice is sharp but filled with cracks and pain. "Don't say goodbye, please don't."
"You taught me to love Derek." I whisper my own tears falling heavily. "You taught me what love is when I thought it didn't exist." He sobs as I reach out and run my fingers through his hair. He leans forward sobbing into my chest as I too lean forward. Although the gesture sends pain up my stomach I kiss his head gently. "Thank you." I turn to face my brother as Derek continues to cry. "I love you both so much." I say before leaning back down, feeling the life drain from me.
As my last breath escapes my body
the real world kills my soul.