Positive. My heart sank. My whole body felt like lead. My life was over, my parents were going to kill me. I can kiss college goodbye. I can kiss a good life good bye. I sit on the floor and cry for a minute. "Are you okay Yesi?"
"No."
"Let me in." I get up and open the door. Bailey sees my face and sighs. "Positive?" I nod and sink into her embrace. "It's not the end of the world, there's always adoption."
"My mom would never let me." I pull away from Bailey and start to clean up. I throw away the first test and grab the second one. I go to throw it away and it lands right side up, exposing the result. Negative. "Bailey!" She comes back in the bathroom. I carefully grab it and show her. "It says negative! I'm not pregnant."
"Yesi what about the first one?"
"It was wrong I guess!"
"Take the third one just in case."
"You're right I should make sure." Bailey leaves and closes the door. I pee on the third test and wait. I clean up the bathroom and wash my hands. It said to wait three minutes and two have passed. I let Bailey back in and we look at the result together. I flip it over and my heart soars, negative. We both let out a deep breath and hug each other. "I'm not pregnant!"
"I'm happy you aren't but why are you having weird cravings?"
"I dunno. I guess I'm just a weirdo." Bailey laughs and we head to the screening room. We watch a quick movie then go to therapy.
Around 8 I finally get done with everything and crash on my bed. Suddenly I hear a knock on my door. "Come in," I say and in walks Demi. I get up and run to her. She hugs me tightly and I smell her vanilla scent which smells like home to me.
"Did you miss me babe?" I laugh and pull away.
"More than you can imagine. How'd you get in I heard that my dad told them not to let you visit?"
"Let's just say that the receptionist's daughter is a lovatic," Demi said with a wink. We laughed and then sat down on my bed. "So how have you been?"
"Great I really like it here and I already made friends."
"Really?"
"Yeah and one them is exceptionally awesome. Her name is Bailey and she's been such a great friend to me." Demi smiled and reached out for my hand.
"Well if she's nice to you then I already know she's cool." I laughed and asked her how Xfactor was going. "Great everyone is really talented, Wesley and the guys have been doing great too." There was a brief awkward silence before Demi spoke again. "Do you love him?" I pursed my lips and thought for a moment.
"No. I don't think I do. I have a lot of appreciation for Wes and I do genuinely like him, a lot in fact but I don't love him. My feelings for him are nothing compared to what I feel for you Dems." Demi smiled and pushed me back onto my bed. She straddled me and bent down to kiss me. "Demi I can't." She got off and scoffed.
"Why don't you just break up with him already?"
"I haven't really gotten the chance. When he gave me the letter you sent he just looked so sad that I couldn't do it." Demi sighed. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you to do it but I really want us to be together again. Our previous relationship lasted like a day." We both laughed. Demi left around 10 and I went to bed happy. I wasn't pregnant and Demi came to visit my day couldn't have gone better. The next couple of days went by quickly. Bailey was right, therapy sometimes took all day and I didn't have much time to talk to my friends. Except for Bailey, she came to sleepover a couple times. About a week after Demi came to visit Leo stopped by. I was doing school work when he walked in.
"Hey sweetie," he said softly. I looked up and scoffed.
"I don't want company I'm doing school work."
"We need to talk Yesenia."
"I'm not talking to you. Although my mom did say to thank you for the house, and for letting me go to this nice treatment center. So basically thanks for the money and you can leave now."
"Yesenia I'm sorry okay. I thought I was doing what was best for you."
"But Leo you don't know what's best for me, I know what's best for me."
"I know that now sweetie and that's why I'm apologizing. It was wrong of me to send you that awful letter I just didn't know how else to make you move on."
"I accept your apology."
"So you forgive me?"
"Yeah but that doesn't mean we'll go back to how we were. I've lost faith you again and you'll have to earn it again. You also have to promise you'll let me make my own decisions and mistakes even if it means I get hurt." Leo nodded and came closer to me.
"I promise Yesenia." I smiled and he pulled me in for a hug. I hugged him back and afterwards we went to eat. This time I didn't have any weird cravings and I didn't want to barf. We talked things out and he agreed to give Demi a chance. As I went back to my room Bailey crashed into me.
"Woah Bai were are you going?"
"I've been looking for you! I have some awesome news to tell you!"
"What?!"
"The Cab,Cartel, and We The Kings are having a concert near here tomorrow night!" We both freaked out and fan girled for a bit then she continued. "And guess who just got tickets to see them?"
"You did?!"
"Yeah!!!" We freaked out a bit more before I realized where we were. "What's wrong aren't you excited?"
"Of course but we can't go."
"Why not?" I motioned to things around me.
"We are in rehab and FYI we aren't Lindsay Lohan we can't just come in and go out like it's fucking McDonalds." Bailey laughed and walked me to my room.
"It's called sneaking out Yesenia."
"What? You can't be serious we'll got caught and my parents will kill me."
"You say that about everything."
"Because they will."
"You're exaggerating and we won't get caught. Analisa has offered to help she helped me get the tickets."
"I don't know Bai I'm not exactly the sneaking out type."
"Oh come on Yesi live a little." I thought about it then just said fuck it. I told Bailey I'd go with her and we begun to plan how we'd get there. The venue was about thirty minutes away so we need wheels.
"I can ask Wes."
"Why not Demi?"
"Eh she's kind of a stickler Wes is a bit more rebellious." Bailey laughed.
"Having two lovers comes in handy doesn't it Yesi." I laughed and nodded.
"Sometimes, yes." I called Wes from a phone in the kitchen and told him what we were planning. He agreed to drive us there and back. We had everything planned and the following night we were ready to go. Analisa distracted the secretary at the front desk and the security guards next to her while we crawled past them. Once outside we ran to where we were supposed to meet Wes. He was there and helped us inside his car.
"You look beautiful babe." I looked at him and smiled.
"Thanks Wes." We made it there in good time. Once inside we got to our seats. "Ahh I can't believe I'm going to be this close to my favorite bands!"
"I know! I'm so ready." The music started and the crowd went crazy. During the concert I wanted to enjoy myself but I couldn't. All I kept thinking about was that I had to break up with Wesley. I looked over at him a few times and saw him smiling.
"I didn't know you liked this music Wes."
"Eh I'm not a huge fan like Bailey but it's okay. I mostly came for you." He bent down and kissed me. At the touch of his lips I felt an immense wave of guilt flood over me. How could I stand here and kiss Wesley but tell Demi that I loved her more than anything.
It wasn't fair to either of them. I pulled away from him and told them I was going to the bathroom. In the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror. I'd gained a bit of weight already and my face looked a little fuller. My body was starting to show it's curves and for once I didn't completely hate the way I looked in a mirror. I retouched my make up and went back out. On my way back to Wes I ran into someone.
"Hey Yesenia how are you doing? Last time I heard you were in rehab." I turned around and sighed. It was Eevie and her friends.
"Hey Eevie and I'm doing a lot better."
"Really? I don't think so I mean you gained a lot of weight." I shifted uncomfortably and pulled down a little on the dress I was wearing. Eevie laughed and placed a hand on my arm.
"Anyways I brought something. It was originally for me and my friends but since we're old friends you can have it." She dug in her bag and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with a white powder I knew all too well. "I don't think you've gotten much in that facility have you?" I was silent. "Anyways here you probably need it more than I do." Eevie held it up for me to take. I hesitated but took it. Eevie smiled and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "Great seeing you babe, enjoy." Eevie and her friends turned around and left. I held it in my hands thinking if I should keep it or not. No, I've made so much progress and I can't go back. I walked to a nearby trash can and held the bag over it.
"This does not control me. It does not define my definition of happiness. I do not need this to feel joy." I repeated in my head but as many times as I repeated it I knew I was going to keep it . I sighed and put the coke in my bag. I walked back to where Wes and Bailey were. Wes noticed that something about me was off.
"Are you okay babe?"
"Yeah." Wes kept staring at me throughout the concert. He knew I wasn't okay. When he dropped us off at the center he asked me to hold up for a sec.
"Yesi just hurry we don't want to get caught." I nodded and she went to make sure the coast was clear.
"What's up Wes?"
"Tell me the truth, are you okay?"
"Yes Wesley I'm fine. Stop worrying."
"I'm sorry babe I just- I'm worried about you." I smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Well stop I'm fine. I'm doing a lot better here. You'd know if you visited more." He exhaled loudly.
"I'm sorry babe I've just been busy with X factor. I'm not Demi I can't just work around you."
"Don't bring Demi into this."
"I'm sorry." There was a brief silence. "You know what I'm not sorry. I'm chasing my dream. I love you Yesenia but you have to understand that I have a life other than you. Besides I'm sick of this love triangle. You have to pick one of us and soon. I think Demi's getting sick of this too."
"I never said you had to come and visit. The way I remember it you said 'I want to get through this with you' not me. I understand that you have X factor but I'd also like to see my boyfriend from time to time. And you know what I didn't ask for this love triangle. Don't worry I've made a decision I'm just waiting for the right time to tell you and Demi."
"Just tell me now Yesenia." We were both so heated that I knew If I said it now I'd say it in a rude way. "Tell me."
"I choose Demi! I love her I've always loved her!" Wesley's face went from angry to hurt within seconds. I felt him stiffen and he just looked straight ahead.
"I'd like you to leave Yesenia." I sighed and felt guilty for saying it like that.
"Wesley let me just-"
"Please. Just go." I looked at him once more and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"I'm sorry." Then I got out and snuck back in with Bailey. I felt so bad that I told Wesley my choice like that. He deserved better, a lot better. He'd been such a cool guy with me and I was a bitch. Bailey went to her room and I went to mine. Once inside I grabbed my bag and pulled out the coke. I went into my bathroom and opened it. I took some out and put it on a piece of paper. With the edge of another paper I spread them into lines. "I shouldn't do this. I've come so far." I went into my room and looked for something to snort it with. In my trash can I had a cup with a straw that once held juice. I grabbed the straw,rinsed it in the sink, dried it well, and put it against the paper. I felt so guilty and bad that I just wanted to forget how I felt. I did about five lines. Then I just enjoyed the ride that I'd stayed away from for so long.
The next morning I woke up in my bed and cleaned everything up. I hid the coke in one of my dressers and cleaned my bathroom. I took a shower and hot dressed. I felt dirty for snorting coke last night. I knew the water wouldn't wash away the guilt but at least I wouldn't smell. After I got out I got dressed and went to work out. I put in my earphones and played I Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez. It was a good song to work out to, made me think of Demi. Since I was the only one in the work out room I decided to dance a bit. Who Says came on so I decided to place it on the iPod music speakers they had there. I started dancing around and singing. "Who says you're not beautiful? Who says?" Most girls my age weren't big fans of Selena but I definitely was. Say what you want but her music is uplifting and just makes you feel good. I heard someone laugh behind me so I stopped and turned around. It was Demi.
"You're a great dancer baby." She kept laughing and I threw my towel at her.
"Shut up." Demi handed me my towel and I dabbed my sweat off. I leaned in and kissed her. She kissed me back but then broke away.
"What about Wesley?"
"I'm officially single babe," I said and pulled her in for another kiss. She kissed me back fiercely. I pulled away and smiled. "Calm down babe we have plenty of time to make out." Demi laughed and I led her back to my room. "Let me take a quick shower and I'll be right out." She nodded and I happily jumped in the shower,again. I came out nice and clean and found Demi just flipping through some magazines.
"Hey," she said when she saw me.
"Hey yourself beautiful."
"Yesi?"
"Mhm?"
"I didn't know you liked Selena's music?"
"I wouldn't say I'm a selenator exactly but I love her music and I think she's an incredible actress." Demi laughed. "Okay so I guess I am a Selenator. Why?"
"Well as you know she's one of my best friends."
"Yeah."
"I want you to meet her!"
"Demi I'm in rehab I can't meet her now."
"Why not? I don't see the problem we could have lunch here. The cafeteria serves some good stuff." I stared at Demi and honestly wondered if she didn't realize why I couldn't.
"Do you think she'll like me? I mean I'm in rehab for being a drug addict. She'll probably think I'm not good enough for you. Besides I don't think she'll feel comfortable coming here." Demi sighed and came closer to me. She grabbed my sides and pulled me close.
"I love you Yesenia and I'm sure she will too. Selena knows about us, she's one of the few people that do. I've talked to her about meeting you and she wants to as well. Sel is a really nice girl and she doesn't judge people like that. Come on." Demi smiled at me and I have no will power against her smile.
"Fine how about you both come over in two days? I have a small hiking trip with my therapist and some girls." Demi nodded and kissed me. Our kiss got passionate and I laid her down on my bed. We kept making out as I slid my hand up her shirt and into her bra. Demi smiled into our kiss but didn't stop kissing me. I played around with the tip of her breast then squeezed it just to hear her moan a little. Her hands didn't stay at her sides either. Demi slid her hand into my sweats and panties. I felt her slide in me slowly. I groaned slightly and felt her go in deep. As we were getting into it I heard a knock on the door. I cursed under my breath. "Just a second." Demi and I fixed ourselves up a bit. "Come in." It was Bailey. "Seriously? Bailey you cock block," I said then I threw my pillow at her. She caught it and threw it back.
"Well I'm sorry you didn't have a sock on the doorknob." We all laughed. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your girlfriend Yesenia?"
"No I'm still hoping you'll leave." Bailey scowled at me.
"Fine then I won't save you some chocolate pudding and frozen yogurt. You know that shit goes fast here." She was walking out the door when I jumped up and pulled her back in.
"Demi this is my best friend Bailey. Bailey this is my beautiful girlfriend Demi?" Demi got up and shook Bailey's hand.
"Why does that sound like a question Yesenia?" Demi asked.
"Uhm I just-" Bailey cut me off,luckily.
"I'll go save you guys some pudding. Nice meeting you Demi."
"You too Bailey." Once we were alone Demi came closer and asked me again.
"I wasn't sure if you were my girlfriend again."
"We were about to have sex so I'd like to think we're together."
"Alright then. Girlfriend." Demi laughed, due to her infectious laugh, I laughed with her. We walked together, hand in hand, to the cafeteria and ate pudding with my friends. After we hung out with them Demi and I took a small walk to the pond. We sat down on a bench and looked at the beautiful scenery. I sighed deeply.
"Everything okay sweetie?"
"Yeah...No. I'm just bummed I won't get to go to my prom. I never bothered to go before and now I'll never get to go."
"I'm sorry baby girl." I shrugged and stood up.
"It's whatever." Demi stood up and we walked back to my room. As I thought about high school I realized everything I was missing. I'd miss prom, senior ditch day, our senior prank, and most importantly graduation. Demi noticed how sad I was and tried to cheer me up.
"Babe I hate seeing you sad. What can I do to make you feel better."
"You can watch high school musical with me and sing along." Demi laughed and got up. She extended a hand to help me get up so I took it. We walked to one of the lounges with a tv that was empty and skimmed through Netflix. We watched the first two and laughed like dorks. Having Demi in my arms, laughing with her, and feeling truly loved by someone made not having a graduation not so bad. When we watched the third one, the one where they all graduate, I felt sad again. I thought it was cute how Troy went all the way to Stanford just to have a dance with Gabriella. During that scene a few tears escaped my eyes and it instantly worried Demi.
"Babe I thought you were feeling better."
"I am," I lied. "It's just really cute don't ya think? He doesn't want to go if she isn't the one he dances with." Demi came up to my lips and kissed me softly. I loved the feeling of her lips against mine. Her familiar warmth, her lips that tasted like watermelon, and most importantly how right it felt.
"I love you."
"I love you too Demi and I'm fine don't worry." She smiled but I knew she didn't believe me. After we finished the HSM trilogy I somehow convinced her to watch Camp Rock. It was a good idea at first. Then came the scene where Shane sings "Gotta Find You" to Mitchie. Needless to say it was a bit awkward. "Dems you are a great actress I almost believe you like him." Demi looked at me and bursted laughing.
"Well I don't mean to brag but I am pretty awesome." We laughed a bit more then I kissed her again. We watched Camp Rock 2 and again it was awkward. We made little jokes here and there and she told me some things about the people on set. Near the end when Shane and Mitchie kiss I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't like seeing Demi kiss anyone that wasn't me. Demi read my mind and kissed me fiercely. Then she whispered in my ear, "You're a MUCH better kisser baby girl." I'm not going to lie that boosted my ego and made me feel better. Demi went home a while after and promised to be back in two days. An hour after Demi walked out of my door I decided to go visit Bai. On the way there I passed by the main office and found Demi sitting across from Mrs.Peterson. It was definitely weird so I hid behind a plant and stalked them. I couldn't hear much and nothing really happened so I just went to Bailey's room. I told her what I saw and asked what she thought.
"I don't know could be anything."
After awhile I went back to my room and I didn't see Demi in the office. I wondered what she talked to Mrs.Peterson about. That night as I laid down in bed my mind shifted between Demi, graduation,prom, and the cocaine I was hiding in my drawer. I couldn't stop thinking about the coke, it beckoned me. It said 'Yesenia come snort me' and a part of me wanted to but I couldn't. Progress, think of the progress you've made. Think of Demi, you're happy you don't need that. I don't need it. I am stronger than my addiction. My addiction does not control me I control it. I hugged my stuffed bear I'd had since I was a kid and retained myself from the coke. It was hard but I had to do it.
The next morning everyone got ready for the hiking trip. I packed everything I'd need and headed out with Bailey. I ran into Demi in the lobby. She looked just as surprised as I did. "Hey babe what are you doing here?" She smiled nervously at me then gave me a quick kiss.
"I obviously came to wish you luck and to say goodbye."
"Aw thanks baby."
"Shouldn't you girls be gone by now?"
"Yeah but Yesenia held us up," Bailey chimed in. I pushed her softly.
"Whatever we're leaving now. Bye baby thanks for coming, I love you." I gave her another kiss, this one a bit deeper and more passionate. I heard Mr.McCarthy honk the bus horn so I pulled away and said another goodbye.
"Love you too babe! Be safe!" I heard Demi shout behind me. I found my seat next to Bai and we drove off.
*Demi's POV*
I walked into Mrs.Peterson's office again and sat down across from her.
"So Demetria let's talk more about this prom and graduation you have in mind." I smiled and informed her on my plan.