My dad didn't come in for the rest of the day so I couldn't talk to him but the next morning he was there when I woke up. "Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?"
"Better I guess." Leo came over and sat at the foot of my bed.
"Alright well i thought we should talk about treatment centers. The one your mother and I decided is here in Los Angeles. It's very nice and we can visit you everyday."
"We?"
"I talked with my bosses and they've transferred me here. Linda and the kids are staying back in Dallas until the school year is over. I want to help you through this tough time Yesenia. I will be here for you now." My eyes watered and I felt a few hot tears escape my eyes. Leo stood up and gave me a hug. "I love you sweetie." In his arms I prayed that what Demi said was a lie. I had a dad, a real dad. The thing I've secretly wanted the most all my life, a father to tell me he loved me and that he'd be there for me. I finally had that why couldn't I keep it? I pulled away from him and wiped away some tears. I had to do it or else I never would.
"Dad?"
"Yeah honey?"
"Can I ask you something?" He nodded.
"Anything sweetie."
"Okay well it has to do with that letter you sent me." He cleared his throat and told me to go on. "Well Demi came in the first day I was here and we talked about it. She said she didn't send that letter, the one she sent was completely different. Then she told me that when I was in the hospital back in Dallas she did come to visit but you didn't let her in. She also said you told her to stay away from me...Is that true?" He sat in silence and that was enough of a confirmation. I didn't try to hold back the tears and felt each of them burn my cheek. "Why? Just tell me why?"
"That girl is a bad influence Yesenia. She's nothing but trouble and I know she'll only cause you heart break in the end. I'm just trying to protect you."
"By writing me a fake letter that led me to try cocaine for the first time! That letter made me cut dad, it made me feel worthless. Which by the way is something Demi has never made me feel until you made her stay away."
"You'll thank me one day for protecting you from a celebrity. They're bad news Yesenia. Besides aren't you happy with Wesley? He's a great guy that truly loves you unlike that girl who can't even decide if she actually has feelings for you or not."
"That girl has a name! Her name is Demetria Devonne Lovato and she told me she loved me! She knows that she loves me, she's sure of it now."
"For how long? Or how long will it be before her interest in you disappears? Let me paint you a picture Yesenia. Let's say you and Demi have a great relationship and decide to go public with it. What if her fans don't like you? What will you do when they discover that you are a drug addict and a cutter, and you purged? Do you honestly think that they will think that you're worthy of her? At first she won't believe anything they say but when album sales go down she will start believing what everyone will say about you. Then you'll be heart broken." I shook my head in denial. Demi wouldn't do that she loves me, she said it herself. "I'm just trying to protect and save you from it all."
"Leave.NOW," I shouted at him. A few tears slid down his face as he walked toward the door. He turned around at the door.
"I'm just doing this because I love you Yesenia." Then he left me alone in my room to cry. I just wanted to disappear, to die. Why was my life so complicated? I cried for hours and that night I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want to eat anything or see anybody,not even Wes. I got released the day after my talk with Leo. My mom drove me home so I could pack everything because that same day I was supposed to go to my treatment center. Wes came by and my mom let him in. I heard a knock on my door followed by Wes poking his head in.
"Can I come in?" I nodded. "Almost done packing?"
"Yeah I just need to grab my stuff from my bathroom and some books. Sorry I was being a bitch the other day at the hospital."
"It's okay, you can't be in a good mood 24/7." I smiled and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "I'm going to visit as much as I can."
"You don't have to Wes."
"I want to, remember I said we'd get through this together...oh and I forgot!" He pulled something out of his back pocket. "Demi sent this she said she was glad you were out." I smiled at him and took the envelope.
"Did you read it Wes?"
"Of course not, but I'm curious. Does she want you back Yesenia?" I lowered my gaze and stuffed somethings into my suitcase. "Yesi...answer me, does she want you back?" I stood silently. "Alright fine then just tell me......Do YOU want her back?" I looked at him and took a deep breath.
"I don't know," I said with a shaky,barely audible voice. Wesley lowered his gaze.
"I should've seen it coming." Wesley left and I finished packing. I really didn't want to hurt Wesley because he'd been there for me when Demi wasn't. Then again that wasn't her choice it was Leo's. When I had packed everything I laid on my bed and opened my letter.
Hey babe,
So I couldn't go see you anymore because apparently your dad found out and made sure security wouldn't let me in. Nonetheless I WILL go and visit you in treatment! Even if I have to climb the side of a wall like Spider-Man. I love you and can't wait to see you again. Wes told me you'll be going to Casa De Colibri and I'm glad it's in LA! I miss you more than you know!
Love,
Demi ❤XoXO
I smiled and put the letter back in the envelope. Would Demi and Wes really compete for my attention? To be honest two people fighting over me is kinda one of my biggest fantasies. It's hot. I know that it's wrong though. The next morning I get up and get ready to leave. Wes called me and told me he'd visit in a few days. I went to the kitchen and sat down for breakfast. As my mom set my plate in front of me I almost threw up.
"Yesenia you love French toast."
"I know, I do I don't know why I wanted to throw up." I dismissed it and grabbed my fork. I cut a piece off and put it in my mouth. As soon as the bread hit my tongue I ran to the bathroom to throw up. The vomit came up by itself and made me feel terrible afterwards. I walked back to the kitchen and saw my mom's angry face.
"Yesenia you have to eat something. I don't know why you went to throw up you used to eat a ton of these."
"I don't know either mom but when I put it in my mouth it tasted terrible and the vomit came on its own." We were silent a while before I decided to eat some cereal. For some reason I was really craving raisin bran with ketchup and mustard. Normally I'd find it absolutely repulsing but it sounded really good in the moment. I poured some cereal into a bowl then drizzled ketchup and mustard on top. I poured in the milk and sat down. My mom looked at my bowl and asked if I was mental for eating it. "Mom this tastes really good you should try it." And in that moment it DID taste good.
"You'd have to be insane or pregnant to want to eat that." We both laughed and she went to get my things upstairs. I stopped laughing but my mind was lingering on the word pregnant. I know I couldn't be I mean we used protection that night but there is always the possibility. I shook it off and got in the car. We didn't drive for too long and we soon ended up pulling into a really pretty rancho style home. It was in the Hollywood hills so the scenery around it was absolutely beautiful. My mom parked the car and I stepped outside. A few men came outside to help with my luggage. We walked inside and it was just as beautiful. It looked like a Mexican ranch house with its different bold, bright colors and it's fresh feel. A smile spread across my face.
"I'm guessing you like it?"
"Yeah it has a really nice feel." A woman admitted me in and led us to my new room. The walls were painted a bright blue with an orange bedspread. It felt very lively but still had a cozy feel to it. "I love it mom." The woman then gave us a tour of the rest of the place. It had a pool, jacuzzi, tennis court, basketball(both indoor and outdoor) courts, softball diamond, and a really nice outdoor cafeteria. It was a paradise in some ways but the thing I didn't like was the fact that visiting days were only on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. I wanted Demi to visit everyday not just four days. My mom left a bit after I settled in and I got bored in my room since they took away my phone,laptop, and anything else electronic. I went out and walked around. I sat down on a picnic table and played with a napkin. Soon I heard someone sit on the other side.
"Hi I'm Bailey." I looked up and saw a girl with olive skin, green eyes, and shiny brunette hair.
"I'm Yesenia."
"Are you new here?" I nodded. "Oh well I've been here for a few months now."
"Oh uhm so how is it here?"
"It's great the program they specifically give you is great. It keeps you busy for most of the day. Visiting days are when you get free days."
"That sounds nice." We were quiet for awhile then she asked me what I was here for. "Uhm well drug addiction."
"Oh I'm here for self harming and alcohol addiction." We gave each other and awkward smile. "It's crazy how we're so young yet our lives are so fucked. I mean some girls are here for binge eating, anorexia, bulimia. Some girls are meth, heroine, and cocaine addiction. And some of us are here because of self harm and alcohol addiction. The sad thing is we're all minors. We're still kids and we have so many problems. There's a girl here who's only 13. 13 Yesenia. It's crazy."
"Yeah but at least we all want to get better and that's why we came here." Bailey nodded.
"Do you wanna go do something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. I hear they're playing some great chick flicks at the theatre."
"We have a theatre?"
"It's more like a small screening room but yeah. Come on." We got up and Bailey led me to the screening room. There were a couple other girls there so we talked to them and pretty soon I found myself some friends. They all had different stories but the majority of them were here for drug addiction like me. I didn't feel so alone anymore. After the movie Bailey and I went back to my room and we had a sleepover. She told about how her father had raped her as a kid and how she stared self harming because she got bullied in school. I told her about my dad leaving me and then later coming back to take me to Texas. I also told her I used to self harm as well. When I told her I was bisexual it didn't seem to change her attitude towards me and I was very glad. "So Yesenia do you have a girlfriend?"
"No I have a boyfriend, his name is Wesley. But there is this girl who likes me and I kinda like her but I don't want to hurt Wes."
"Yesi if you like someone else I don't think you should be in a relationship. Do you know who you like more?" I shook my head. "Do they know about each other?" I nodded.
"They both said that if they had to compete for me they would." Bailey laughed and I punched her playfully. "It's not funny I honestly don't know who to choose."
"Sorry it's just that having two people fight over you is kinda like every girl and guys dream!" I laughed and told her that it had been one of mine too. We went to bed around 10 and the next morning we woke up at 6. We walked to the indoor cafeteria together and ate breakfast. When I saw my food I again ran to the nearest bathroom to barf. Bailey asked if I was okay I lied and said I was. Again I had weird cravings, at lunch I wanted vanilla ice cream with chili powder on top drenched in pickle juice. I told Bailey about what I was feeling and she suggested that I might be pregnant. I couldn't be I mean it was only one time. "You need to take a pregnancy test Yesi," Bailey said as we sat down in my room.
"How am I going to get a pregnancy test without my parents knowing Bailey." She pursed her lips and then snapped her fingers.
"Analisa! She'll help us."
"Who's Analisa?"
"She works here but she's always been really cool. Last month a girl needed condoms because her boyfriend was visiting and they wanted to do it. So she asked Analisa and she brought them for her. I'm sure if we asked for a pregnancy test she'll buy you one." I hugged Bailey.
"You are amazing come on." We found Analisa and told her we needed a few pregnancy tests. She asked us for who and I told her it was for me. After a bit of persuasion she agreed to buy three different types of pregnancy tests for me. I went to my therapy sessions after that and then to my scheduled hypnosis session. It was supposed to make me not want to do coke. I will admit that I haven't really had a need to do it. Then it was yoga then tennis and lastly my appointment with a nutritionist who taught me how to balance my meals and how to maintain a healthy weight. That night I laid down in my bed and prayed that I wasn't pregnant. I can't be a mom right now. I'm about to graduate high school and I plan on going to collge. A child will hold me back and I don't want that. Besides I'm not ready to be a mother, I'm still a fucking kid myself. None of this would've happened if Demi would've taken my virginity instead of Wes. I wouldn't even have dated Wes if Leo would've just minded his own love life. What am I saying I can't blame this on anybody but myself. Wes was willing to wait, I should've waited. I was just so angry and sad. God how could I have been so stupid! Now my whole life is ruined. I looked down at my stomach in disgust. "You're going to ruin my life. I honestly wish I don't go through with this pregnancy." I went to bed and didn't wake up until Bailey did. She came into my room and shook me awake. "What time is it Bails?"
"5:30 but if you want to do the pregnancy thing it's now or until tomorrow. It's visiting day so we're going to be watched most of the day." I nodded and we went to where Analisa said she'd leave the tests for me. We headed back to my room and walke do to my bathroom. "Are you ready Yesi?" I nodded and she walked out of the bathroom to let me do my thing. I opened the first one and peed on it. It said to wait 2 minutes for the results. In the mean time I opened the second one, which was a different brand, and peed on it. That one said to wait three minutes. It was the longest two minutes of my life. "Is everything okay Yesi," asked Bailey.
"Yeah just waiting on the results." Time was up, two minutes had passed. I took the first test and flipped it over. It read......(to be continued)