I woke up confused and scared I could hear the waves crashing and the birds singing I almost called for my mam then realised I wasn't 10 I was 23 but I was home again, The movement to my right told me somebody was in my room they didn't speak as they sat on the bed the heavy movement of the bed told me it was probably Sal. Part of me already knew what he had come to tell me but I needed to hear him say the words.
"I'm sorry Maggie, She didn't make it through the night." I still didn't turn around to face him I moved over in the bed and allowed him to lie down we both lay on our backs holding hands we didn't speak just lay. I couldn't cry I was just about breathing I felt numb and although Sal was right beside me I felt alone.
After a while I turned to Sal it was the only words that would actually come out "I miss Brian" he nodded and broke a little smile "So do I"
I got up from the bed "I'd better go find the twins."
Sal nodded "I'm gonna take a shower how do you even survive with only two bathrooms here"
I giggled at the disgusted germaphobe "we just make do" I shrugged
I approached the kitchen where my sister stood just staring out of the window at the waves she too was still in last night's clothes her hair was a mess and her eyes were red from crying I didn't think she knew I was there until she spoke "She was only holding on for you, Dr pierce said she should of gone a week ago but I kept promising her she would see you again"
"I wish I had of known Fal."
She turned to face me "Well maybe if you had of answered my calls or maybe if you were actually here to see for yourself at least she wasn't in pain when you seen her I've had to endure months of hospital appointments and caring for her and listening to her cry at night when she thought she wouldn't get to see her baby bird before she died"
I felt so much guilt although Willow had forgiven me it would take a while for Fallon to believe I had to get away.
She spoke bitterly to me "your friend the skinny American said he didn't even know you had family, you kept it all from them, were you that ashamed of who you are?"
"His name is James and no I wasn't ashamed I was more ashamed in myself for lying to them I need structure Fallon I needed to live the way she taught us about life by living it going out into the world myself and experiencing it first-hand"
"And what about me Sparrow? I've lived in Sheephaven my whole damn life and I feel like I lived it just fine I have a man who loves me what do you have? Do you really think your big shot American friends will be around to be your rock forever? Any of these so called friends that you have didn't even know your real name until yesterday you were just this character you made up the whole damn time."
The words stung more than any slap to the face ever could. I could of ran away I could of lashed out but I thought of the promise I'd made to mammy "I'm going to make things better Fallon I mean it" I pulled her in for a cuddle I needed her to believe I meant it. I'm not letting go until you hug me back"
She gave a slight laugh and wrapped her arms around me "I've missed you Sparrow" she squeezed me tighter
"Aw would you look at that, Group hug everybody!" Apollo declared as he walked through the back door the three of us stood embracing the three remaining Thornes.
We started setting the table for lunch, there was thick fresh cut bread and plates of ham and chicken and beautiful cherry red tomatoes picked straight from the vegetable garden. Everything looked fresh and delicious if there was one think you couldn't fault Ireland for it was the food. I yelled upstairs for Sal and Murr to come join us my siblings took their seats at the table out of respect we left mothers chair at the head of the table free Sal entered the kitchen looking around "Hey has anyone seen Murr?" it only occurred to me then that I hadn't seen Murr all morning .
"Fallon have you seen James" I asked pouring out cups of tea for all of us
"The skinny American? Aye Liam came by this morning and told me he was cleaning the Gallery for the wake and James offered to go with him."
I stopped pouring and looked at my sister, "What Gallery?"
"Mothers gallery down in the village where P.Js sweet shop used to be she rescued it and restored it and showcased all her work"
I felt a sense of pride in my mother finally people were seeing the talent she possessed "she really did that?"
Apollo turned to me "She really did get better after you left she never touched alcohol and her photos became really popular" there was a sadness in his eyes as he spoke he was really going to miss her we all were but Apollo had no one but mama Fallon was almost engaged and I hadn't even been here for those 5 years when she got better.
"So we're having the wake at the Gallery?" I took a bite of the huge sandwich I had made myself
Fallon nodded as she ate delicately as ever breaking off little bites "It's what she wanted we're going to invite people to view her work one last time before we close the gallery the McAllister's housekeepers are providing food and the O'Reillys at the pub are providing drinks"
"And the funeral?"
"Scattering the ashes on the beach by the rock area she loved to much" Apollo spoke "even on her death bed she warned us about giving her a catholic send-off"
I smiled as I remembered the area of rocks my mum spent a lot of her time it took a lot of climbing to get to but the views of the village and beach were just stunning. There was a huge drop down to the water at least 15 feet we used to throw ourselves off we were taught not to be afraid of the water and we never were, rain or sun we would dive from the rocks screaming wildly. At night we would build a fire in the fire pit and sit around it laughing and playing around we would eat sandwiches that were half actual sand and sing songs together every star in the night sky would shine for us.
On her bad days Willow would go there to cry sometimes she wouldn't be home till morning she would just sit up there all night drinking and freezing.
Sals question broke me from my thoughts "Your mother wasn't a catholic woman?" he was wiping the crumbs from his mouth as he finished his food Apollo gave a chuckle before realising he was serious "Definitely not she was never religious more spiritual than anything she had her crystals and her angel cards but her parents had raised her to be afraid of the wrath of God rather than to celebrate her religion, after she ran away with our Da and married him Mary Frances McNamara changed her name and became Willow Thorne"
"That's incredible" Sal smiled "that's where this one must get her free spirit" he laughed poking my arm.
"That's for sure" my sister replied "Mammy always joked if she had of known how wild and adventurous Sparrow here would be she would of named her Pocahontas instead."
"Oo I love that film" I piped up
"Don't I know it" Sal replied putting his head in his hands "I've only had to listen to you sing the soundtrack like a million times"
I grabbed a piece of tomato throwing at his head it landed with a splat and slid down his face I collapsed with laughter before getting a telling off from my sister "If you have nothing useful to do go get ready for the wake we'll have to start welcoming visitors soon to pay their respects and I want you to be presentable especially you!" she turned to face my brother who had started scooping Jam out of the bowl with a spoon she slapped his hand away and took the bowl from him.
"Ow what was that for?!" he screamed
"I'm talking clean clothes here Apollo!" She warned.
We could still hear their muffled argument as Sal and I climbed the stairs into my room I pulled my suitcase out and began to unpack Sal sat on the bed watching
"Is that really how you organise a case?! It's so messy" he seemed disgusted that I had just thrown everything in
"Well sorry Mr Tidy and neat but I didn't exactly have a lot of time did I?" I threw my Benjamin teddy at him and feigned and attack rolling back onto the bed
"Hello what's this" he pulled the photo album out from under his back "ooo Miss Maggie's secret diary is it"
"No sal give it back" I went to reach for it but he pulled it out of my way he smiled as he flicked through the photos there were landscapes of New York, captures of families in the park a few of Sam and Cassidy, the photo of Joe and Bessy I gave them for their wedding present Sal gave a laugh as he seen the ones from the hotel we had taken. there was one I had just got printed but hadn't yet stuck in of Brian he was lying asleep on the couch with an arm tucked behind his head and his hair was messy, all 3 kitty's were tucked in beside him he looked so cute lying with his three babies I just had to take a photo. "These are amazing Maggie you've such a talent"
Sal seen my smile disappear when I looked at the photo of Brian I wanted him to be here with me so much just to hug him and feel safe to run my hands through his hair to have him nuzzle my neck Sal squeezed my arm as I rested my head on his shoulder "I'm sure he's missing you just as much."
"Do you think so?"
"Definitely, he's crazy about you; he wanted to marry you Maggie does that not prove it"
I gave a shrug "I suppose so."
"When we go back you'll be able to talk it over with him I'm sure you will both work something out" he gave me a smile and I couldn't help but smile back even though I still had no idea when I would be going back or even if Q would want me back.
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AN pretty please somebody leave me a little review.