Chapter 20
(Week One)
I hadn't seen Darcy for more than six days. Actually, I hadn't talked to him since he dropped me off after our trip. I had decided that night that with all that had happened and all I've learned on the trip, that it would be best for me to take a break from Darcy.
It seemed like I was always taking breaks from seeing him, but this time was different and I felt it as the days passed and I kept dodging his phone calls. I was almost certain that the man was probably going insane. I knew how much he really despised when I did that. But honestly, for my well being, I needed it.
Learning of the baby made me realize that I needed to somehow be my own person and fend for myself in this cruel and unusual world. Having to depend on Darcy this much wasn't good for me and I knew that. I had been alone all my life, having no one to support me or really care for me, so getting that from Darcy was a breath of fresh air and it got over my head a bit quickly. I needed to restart, to detox my body from him, from all the emotional baggage and all those feelings that came as a package with Darcy.
We've been doing this whatever it is that we're doing for five months now and every, time I felt like I was getting in deeper and deeper, and to be honest, that was scary. To be counting on someone this much, to want someone this insanely. It was intense and I needed to refresh, I had to.
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"Okay, yeah I understand." I heard Rose speak over the phone as I walked out of my bedroom. "I'll let her know, okay. Yeah. Sorry. Okay, bye." She finished as she took the phone off her ear.
"Who was that?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen, one of my favorite places in the apartment because we all knew I really liked to eat.
"It was Darcy again, for the third time this week." She answered as she let herself fall into the sofa.
"Oh yeah? What did he want?" As if I didn't already know. She glared at me.
"Charlotte, this is ridiculous, alright. What are you doing?"
"I told you, I'm detoxing, getting all the Darcy out of my system before it's too late." I answered and took out the small piece of cheesecake left from yesterday late night run to the store, then shut the door of the fridge.
"Oh don't be ridiculous, we both know you're running." She pulled herself up and turned the tv, her blonde hair a complete mess on her head.
"Oh now I'm ridiculous? Well, well, well, if you weren't my best friend I would think you work for Darcy." I joked as I found a seat next to her on the sofa and pushed her slightly out of the way to be able to sit even though there was space for me. She turned her face towards me and frowned.
"I'm serious, Charlotte, stop ruining things by running and start fighting."
"Why fight a battle I can't win?" I took the first bite of my cheesecake and smiled slightly at the deliciousness before continuing. "And plus, did you stop to think that maybe I don't want to fight?" She raised an eybrow.
"So you would rather run and let her win?" I nodded, my mouth occupied to do anything else other than head movements, even though my parents weren't around to raise me, at least I knew that it was rude to speak with a mouth full.
"I'm running cause she's already won. For Christ sake the girl is pregnant, Rose. What else am I supposed to do?"
"This is quite pathetic." Rose spat out as distaste appeared on her face. I knew she didn't mean it, so I simply wanted to laugh it off. Yes, she's been talking to Darcy, and the man has obviously been telling her things that I knew nothing about, but at the end of the day, it was my decision if I wanted to go back to him or not.
"Dang girl, you're going all out with the insults today." I laughed cause I knew she didn't mean them, I knew, even though they stung a little. It was like when I was younger and people would call me names, I knew those people didn't matter, I knew that I shouldn't care what they thought of me, but it still hurt a little even though I got over it.
"If it means that you're going to actually listen to me, then I have plenty more in my library." She said as she pulled the fork out of my hand and got some of the cheesecake. "Want to hear more?"
"It's not working so stop before you actually hurt my feelings." I told her, grabbing my fork out of her hand.
"Listen, Charlotte, Darcy wouldn't be calling you nonstop if he didn't actually care ok, he's putting effort into this but people like Darcy, they don't wait for anybody let's be honest, so if he's trying to make this work, you should probably try to do the same." She was staring at me, talking to me in her mom voice.
I stopped eating and placed my plate on the coffee table. Okay, time to be honest. "Rose, where do you see things go from now on between Darcy and I?" I asked, my face turning completely serious. She wanted to talk, well let's talk.
"I don't know for sure but definitely not where you're taking it." She answered, and I shook my head.
"Ok, now think about it. Jemma is carrying his child-" I started but she cut me off immediately.
"There's a fifty percent chance of it not being his." She said.
"And there's this other big fifty percent chance of it belonging to Darcy. Now let me finish." I told her. "She's carrying his child, which means they now share this bond that Darcy and I don't have between us," I told her and she listened while I spoke.
"Once that baby is born, things will change. No actually now that he knows, things will change. They are becoming a family and no one can match that, not me, not anybody. Where would I be then when that happens. If I stay I would surely fall in love with him one way or another and that would be even harder when he dumps my ass for his family," I got up. "Nah, might as well do this now before it's too late." I finished and smiled. Rose looked up at me from where she was sitting.
"And what about now, what about any feelings you have for him now?" She asked.
"I don't love him." I replied as I picked up the plate with the remaining of my cheesecake and walked to the kitchen
"I never said love, but there's a reason why you keep going back to him. And don't tell me it's just only about the money." She said and I shrugged even knowing that she couldn't see me.
"Darcy is a very handsome, charming man, so of course when you're in this type of roller-coaster relationship, feelings are bound to happen somehow. He makes me feel things you know, all sort of things." I started as I felt a smile forming on my face.
"One moment it's like he's opening up to me and we're bonding and it feels good because then I think this is more than an arrangement, ya know and the next minute he pulls crap that makes me want to strangle him." I shook my head and finished rinsing off the dish then dried my hands quickly.
"Come on let's go out to eat then we'll stop by the school," I told Rose as I pulled her up to stand. She frowned.
"The school? Why?" She asked.
"Cause I need a job, I'm sure they have some jobs for students there." I told her as I reached for my jacket I had hung by the door.
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(Week Two)
I was doing good, trying to detox off Darcy wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I did miss him a bit, but I also took the time to actually enjoy the company of my new friends Laurence and his boyfriend, and Christian and Stella who I hadn't really seen much of because of all the Darcy Drama.
He had called less this week, only Called once to be honest, but that was alright; all part of the process. I also saw Royce twice this week and had a blast both times. One more reason to do this detox, Darcy would have never let me see Royce if he was around.
For some reason he just hated his guts, it also didn't help that Royce thought of Darcy as a walking definition of a douchebag. Yeah, these two wouldn't be ready to be friends anytime soon.
(Week Three)
Okay, I was a bit miserable. I hated to admit it but I missed Darcy a lot. I had never not seen him for this long before and it was totally playing on my moral a bit.
He had stopped calling me once we got into the third week which made me think he had given up on me and had moved on. I knew that would happen but I also knew that I had to do this for myself, but now as the days go by, I'm starting to doubt if this detox was actually beneficial to me in any way. I wanted him, and I wanted him bad but I also was very stubborn and that I could easily admit.
I didn't want to be the one crawling back to him, even if I wanted to, my ego sure as hell wouldn't take it. But God I did miss him. I missed his face, his body, the way his gorgeous eyes light up when he smiled.
I missed his over confidence, how bossy he is, the way he always has his hands in his pockets as he stands so intimidating. I also missed his possessiveness, or the way he says my name in this strong, mainly and very domineering voice that somehow always made my panties wet. God I was in trouble.
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"Today is Saturday, let's go get stupid drunk." I walked into Rose's room to find her on her bed.
"I thought you would never ask." She exclaimed as she got off her bed. "I've been texting Christian who's been asking if we wanted to go to this club his friend is Dj at tonight."
"Perfect, we haven't been to a club since I've gotten here. It's about damn time." I said as I stretched my body on her very comfortable bed.
"Sweet, so I'm just going to tell him to send the address and we'll meet them there."
"I've been meaning to ask, what's up between him and Stella?" Rose poked her head out of her closet and raised an eyebrow at my direction.
"Why do you ask? Do you fancy him by any chance?" She winked. I shrugged nonchalantly, feeling my face burning.
"I mean he's not bad looking but I was just asking, not that I want to go after him or anything, especially not if he's with Stella, that's just a no no." I started rambling.
"Well, for what it's worth. No they are not together. Stella is gay, I can't believe you don't know that. They've just been friends since they were like super young." She finally answered my question.
"But she told me she was bi." I frowned feeling a bit confused. Rose dismissed it by rolling her eyes.
"Gay or bi. What's important here is that there are not together so the door is wide open for you if you want to, of course."
"I don't want to."
"Sure you don't." she said as she went back to looking for a dress she could wear. And I went back to playing with my phone.
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There was a huge line outside of the club when we got there, I mean I knew the club was popular but I didn't know it was that popular. "Have you been here before?" I asked Rose as we approached the waiting crowd.
"No, but I heard the DJ they have tonight is pretty popular," She answered as we tried to walk through the line to get to the bouncer. "Come on, Christian said our name should be on the list. He'll be waiting at the bar for us." She added as we stopped in front of the big man who stood in front of the door with his imposing figure.
Talk about being huge, that dude was bulk, buffed to the point of no return. Total definition of gym bunny...and then some. Thank goodness we didn't have to wait there too long or else I would have made a list in my mind of all the objectives I would have used to call the dude.
I mean, gosh. I was all for someone wanting to go to the gym but this was ridiculous. He reminded me off this Applegate commercial I've seen on tv about the hormones in the meat.
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"Look he's right there." Rose said while pointing in the direction of a man standing at the bar who looked like Christian. "Come on, let's go have some fun." She added excitedly as she pulled me with her in the direction of Chris.
"Hey, you." Rose touched Chris's back when we were closed enough which made him turn around smiling.
"Hey guys, you finally made it." Chris smiled as he hugged Rose. He really was a good looking man with his emerald green eyes, his auburn hair, his thick eyebrows and those lips. Gosh those lips that were currently smiling at me.
"Hey gorgeous," He whispered in my ear as he was hugging me. Holding me tightly for a little longer than he did Rose. Then his lips grazed the corner of my mouth as he kissed my cheek which made me blush a bit.
"Come on, I already ordered us some beers so we could go sit. Stella is saving our table." He added then grabbed the bottles off the counter and started walking with Rose and I following behind.
"Was it my imagination or did he almost kiss me?" I whispered to Rose who was walking next to me.
"Well that wouldn't surprise me much since I told him you had a crush on him." She answered as she leaned over to quickly speak in my ear. I stopped walking, pulling her by her arm.
"You did what?"
"What? You like him, don't you?"
"I think he's cute but I didn't want him to know that, it's not like I'm trying to get with him or anything. I'm just appreciating his beauty from one human to another." I started walking then slowed my steps so she could catch up. "Thanks for making this awkward." She started laughing.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing like that. After all we are here to have fun." She yelled a little over the music in order to be heard.
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I was feeling good. I mean I was feeling real good. We've been at the club for maybe two hours and I had already put in my body four beers, two tequila shots, one vodka shot, two whiskey on the rocks and three Sex On The Beach, I was out for the kill, I guess.
My body was warm and fuzzy and I was at that state of mind where almost everything sounded good and amazing and people were somehow ridiculously funny and I couldn't stop laughing and dancing. I almost wasn't entirely in control of my body anymore, like maybe I was having an out of body experience and I couldn't care less really.
I was moving to the beat of the music, shaking my ass the best that I could and grinding on my dance partner who happened to be Chris, very handsome and sexy and tall and fit Chris whose hands where on me as his body was tightly connected to mine, well to my back really so I turned around to look at his handsome smiling face.
I started laughing to try to rid myself of the naughty thoughts that kept playing in my head. As long as you don't act on them, I was sure it was fine to think about doing naughty things with your friend, your guy friend who looked this good. With those piercing green eyes that were currently looking directly at you while he kept an easy smile on his lips, dang, I needed to get laid.
I had my hands on his hips while we were dancing as his hand was in my hair, slowly massaging away. It felt good, and I wanted more so I leaned my head into his hand even more as I closed my eyes right before a moan escaped my lips. Like I said, I was sure I was drunk. That hand then moved to my neck and slowly moved my head towards him, I opened my eyes just in time to see his lips land on mine.
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I stood in front of the door, debating whether or not I wanted to go through with it. I kept going back on my decision even while I was still in the back of my Uber.
I mean, I've been so good lately and I was sure this one thing was pretty much going to send me back to the bottom, to where I started. All my efforts would go down the drain for this and it would be like I have been wasting my time all along.
Was I ready for this? I thought I was so much stronger than this, but my mind and body had two different views on the subject because without realizing it, I had my hand on the door, knocking. I probably should have left while I still could, but my body wasn't listening at that moment and when it finally did, it was too late. The door opened and there he stood.
"Charlotte." He grumbled in this deep voice that I loved so much.
" Hello, Mr. Darcy." I slurred my words out then started laughing for no apparent reason. "I'm here to give you what you want." I stepped a little closer to him.
"And what might that be?" He asked while still holding on to the door. I stepped even closer to him, barely any space between us now. I looked up at him to gaze into his eyes then smiled.
"A baby, I thought that's what you wanted." I said before lifting myself up to be able to reach his lips, then I kissed him.
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