Tyler's POV
"She's the reason why we broke up!" Alexa's harsh yell came as a strike of electricity of nothing guilt and hurt.. Because I knew.. I knew it was true. And it was all my fault.
I shouldn't had allowed Lora get so close to me. I wanted nothing to do with her. As a matter of fact, after what she did a few years ago, I felt repelled by that girl. And that night, that one damn night, I should've known better than allowing Alexa to simply run out of my life just like that.
I kept telling myself, I tried stopping her. But I should've tried harder.. Perhaps her not believing me was what made me somewhat give up.. And it hurt harsher than a dagger against my chest.. Mostly because she didn't even allow me to explain my side of the story..
But the thought of her with someone else was what seemed like a slow death to me. I couldn't believe that she moved on so fast. Seeing her with Trevor that night pushed me off the edge. It angered me to the point where I was ready to kill him, and the fury was what I couldn't control at that point.
"You know, I can't believe that I actually felt guilty for all of this. I can't believe that this whole time I've been trying to fucking prove to you that it's not true!" I wasn't aware of my words until I heard them echo..
Until I noticed her flinching back from outburst.. Her expression instantly changed. Hurt. Hurt was the only thing written over he face.. It flashed behind those emerald eyes in smoldering the flames of her anger. It was the same hurt I saw that night.. The night she left.
I cursed myself over and over again for being the one to cause it.. Because seeing her hurt meant stronger pain for me..
"And I can't believe that I actually loved you!" She found her voice to yell back as those greens sparkled with emotions she held back the whole time..
My heart stopped in its tracks. She loved me? Did she- she said she loved me. Once..
My blood turned to ice. I froze to my spot. But before I could mouth out anything, Alex turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind.
I didn't know what to do; what to think. But I knew one thing for sure. I knew I loved her too. And there was a part of me that wanted to ran after her and tell her that, but at the same time it felt like an invisible force was holding me to this spot. That force was the fact that she said she loved me. Something that was in the past, but not anymore. Who am I kidding? After everything that happened, of course she wouldn't love me anymore. I fucked up. Badly.
I clenched my fists, squeezing my teeth. I was mad at myself. I've lost the one thing that brought light in my dark life. She was that light. But now, she took it with her, leaving me lost in my complete darkness. Suddenly, my eyes landed on a sparkly thing on the floor. Catching my attention, I walked closer to it, kneeling down.
It was Alexa's necklace. I remember her telling me how this used to be her moms and it was the only thing she had left from her. She never took it off. Taking it, I noticed it was torn on the ending, almost making the pendant fall. It must have fallen off her neck when she walked out.
The necklace was the only thing I had left from her. I was gonna give it back to her, but she never seemed to leave stuff behind. I missed her. I missed her so fucking bad. Her voice, her touch, her smell. My favorite smell. Jasmine.
And it had been only a week, but it seemed like a thousand years. I tried everything to make it easier. Alcohol was supposed to be my secret weapon, but it didn't seemed to work. I got myself to the state where I couldn't keep my balance anymore and Jace had to drag me home, but even then the thought of loosing her was brutally torturing my mind.
I was craving her. I'd do anything to have her back. But who the fuck am I kidding? She would never come back to you.
~
The next day
Alexa's POV
I didn't feel like moving today. My head was still pounding from last night and I had no clue on how Tyler was gonna react on the fact that I said I loved him. I was angry and a little drunk, so the words tumbled out on their own. I got home last night and after I locked myself in my room and after an hour of non stop crying I noticed my necklace was gone. I had a thought in my head to go look for it or ask Max to try and find it, but I didn't even have strength to pull myself up anymore.
I've talked to Liv a few times, but since I was locked in my room this whole time, I told her that I wanted to be left alone today. She was pretty understanding. My father on the other hand had asked me multiple time what's wrong, finally being home for a day, but I told him the same I did to Liv. I tried forgetting all the drama from last night, but just the fact that my necklace was gone, was reminding me about the whole thing.
Tyler's reaction when I told him that I loved him was constantly crossing my mind, making me torture myself with all the questions and thoughts. I still loved him. I don't think it was possible to fall out of love with him, cause the pain didn't seem to loosen up. I haven't heard from him ever since last night, and I had the strongest need to hear his voice. Even if we were fighting again.
Suddenly, my phone rang next to me, making me snap out of my thoughts. Without even looking at the phone, I lazily picked up, not bothering to stand up. "Hey," I said, thinking it was Liv. Who else could it be?
"Alex," A deep husky voice from the other line. I froze. Tyler? Why the hell did I pick up? Suddenly, all my senses went numb and I couldn't manage to hang up. "Look, I just want you to know that I have your necklace. I found it last night."He said, almost like his voice was fading away. "You can come get it at the lake house." Was all he said before I heard a deep sigh from the other line before he hung up.
Silence filled the air as I sat on my bed with the phone in my hand. What just happened? He had my necklace and if I wanted it back, I had to go get it. And that meant I had to see him again. I didn't want to. Not after last night. Not after I told him I loved him. I sat there, thinking what to do, until I heard a knock on my door, breaking my thoughts. "Um, come in." I cleared my throat, waiting for whoever it was to come in.
"Alex, dinner's almost ready." Brandon said walking in. I nodded, trying to hide my nervousness from a few minutes ago.
I offered a weak smile. "Okay, but I'm not hungry. Don't wait for me. I'll probably go out with Liv." I lied.
Brandon frowned almost like he didn't believe me. "Are you okay? You haven't eaten all day." He said, crossing his arms to his chest.
I blinked a few times and looked down. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said quickly, wanting him to leave faster. I was bad at lying and I knew I'll blew it up if he doesn't leave soon.
"Okay," He dragged the word, slowly turning around and leaving the room. I knew it was weird the way I acted the past few days, but I simply needed time to be alone and think through some things.
I ran my fingertips on the place where my necklace was. It felt weird not having it even for a night. I had to go get it. Standing up, I took put on my red plaid shirt and a pair of black jeans. I didn't bother too put anything special. I'll try not to even talk to him much. Taking my phone, I walked downstairs, trying to be as quiet as I can.
Everyone was in the kitchen so there were no chances that they would hear me sneak out. I put on my boots on and took my car keys. I still didn't get why Tyler wanted to give me the necklace personally. He could've sent it through Jace or someone. But I didn't want to get into his logic right now.
The car ride wasn't longer than ten minutes. The dark woods were now on both sides of the road, instantly sending cold shivers down my spine. I knew that Derek was supposed to be long gone and everything, and I was trying not to ask my father much about that situation, but I still had the feeling that it wasn't over. I pulled over, as the light in front of the house was the only one in the last few miles. Why was Tyler even here?
I walked on the porch, and took a deep breath before pressing the door bell. After a few seconds, he opened the door. The second I saw him, I felt my heart skip a beat, as he was staring at me with his dark nut-brown eyes, making me nervous.
I was aware of what happened and maybe I went a little far too, but I was still hurt from what he said and did. We didn't exchange a single word, and it honestly surprised me when he moved from the door, giving me space to walk in. I knew how he was. He wanted everything to be his way, so I just went along with it.
His hair was seriously messed up and his bear was grown the same as last night. As soon as I walked in, he walked upstairs leaving me waiting in the hallway. Was he that mad at me? I know I said some stuff and then left, but was it so bad that I loved him. He probably went to get the necklace, but it took him more than five minutes, making me anxious. I decided to go and see what took him so long.
Walking upstairs, I noticed that only one door was opened. The room that we shared when I stayed here for a while. I slowly pushed the door open, and saw Tyler's back, but as soon as he heard me, he turned around and scanned me.
"Here." He said, giving me the necklace. I tried my best to escape eye contact with him. I walked closer and taking the necklace, our hands touched, instantly giving me the urge to look up at him and forgive him. But no. I had to be stronger than that. I closed my eyes for a second, concentrating on what I came here for. "It was torn. I fixed it." He said, and there was almost awkwardness between us. Even when we were just friends, there was never this kind of tension between us.
"Thank you." I managed to say, as my voice was barely above a whisper. I turned around, starting to walk towards the door, when I heard him say.
"Alex, wait." I missed his voice. I took a deep breath, stopping immediately and closing my eyes. I can't do this. "Do you still," Tyler managed to say from behind me as it was followed by a deep sigh. I slowly turned around, lifting my gaze and meeting his.
We stood frozen across from each other, just staring blankly for a few seconds, until he continued. "Do you still," Trying again, he almost choked on his words, dropping his gaze. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I loved him. I loved him so much and I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't be here now. I knew that if I didn't I would've found a way to ignore him and avoid him. It wouldn't have been so hard if I just didn't.
"Does it matter?" I managed to say with a quiet voice, dropping my gaze to my fingers.
He took a deep breath before walking closer. "Why are you always like this?" His voice was cold, daring, but I managed to keep my head down. I knew I was weak on him. I will tell him that I still love him and everything will become more complicated and it'll just hurt even more. He stopped when we were almost touching. So close, yet so far away.
"Say something." The quietness in his tone sent shivers throughout my entire body. He reached towards my face and put away a small strand of my hair. I looked up at him for a second, but quickly moved away not wanting to feel his touch. He was my weakness.
I passed by him, walking in the middle of the room, cause there was still a part of me that couldn't turn my back on him and walk out.
Tyler turned around, now looking a bit frustrated. "Do you really think it's that easy Tyler?" I asked, now not taking my eyes off his. I was glad that there was a few feet space between us, cause otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this. "Do you really think that it's that easy to forgive and forget?" I said again, raising my voice, but I couldn't hide the stress.
"Yes!" He almost cut me off. "Yes Alexa, I really think it's that easy." He said again, almost shouting. "You know why?" He walked closer. "Because when you actually care about someone, you believe them." My mouth almost dropped open. He practically said that I didn't care about him, but he didn't know what I've been through without him.
"Is this why you wanted me to come?" The irony in my voice was clear before I chuckled in disbelief. "You just wanted another fight, didn't you?" I felt confidence rising inside me when I saw rage flashing behind his eyes. At least it had some kind of effect on him.
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted when his phone rang on the bed next to us. We both glanced in that direction and I immediately noticed who was calling him. 'Lora'. Why didn't this surprise me?
I felt my blood getting cold in my veins and jealousy slowly taking over. "Don't keep you girlfriend waiting." I said, and took a step forward, trying to pass by him, when I felt him gripping me by my arm, making me turn around to face him.
"Stop it Alexa." His jaw was so clenched at that point, he spoke through his teeth.
His phone was still ringing and I harshly pulled away from his grip. "Instead of fighting here with me, why don't you go and fuck her? It's rude to leave a girl waiting.." I had no idea where that came from and I knew I was playing with fire at that point.
"Quit acting like such a child, Alexa!" His yell of rage seemed to reflect the same anger on me as well.. My hand instantly rose on its own, towards his face.. His insult dared me to the fullest.
He was fast enough to catch me by my wrist and held it against my chest. In one fast motion he pushed me against the wall and shouted.
"Really?! Enough!" He spun me back around so my back hit the wall, and only took him a second to look at me before his lips came over mine in one breathless motion. The anger dominating both of us seemed to push us to the point where we kissed with little awareness of what we were actually doing.
The kiss was hungry, quick and unfinished.. Brutalizing my lips until I was left breathless.. When he stopped when he pulled away, I thought I could cry for more, because those lips were my only escape.. My only craving at that point.
"What don't you understand?" His breathlessness was mixed with the desires that made his voice deeper, raspier than usual. And oh God.. I missed him.
At that point, every atom of my body seemed ready and desperate for more.. I was responding to his moves with the same speed as his..
I looked at him and my heart was screaming for more. I crossed the small space between us, putting my hands on both sides of his face and pulling him as close to myself as possible.. The fact that he could so easily effect me, control me, it was a true surprise.. I knew I was weak on him, and that night, I was only proven right.
The way his lips responded against mine, it was the only cure for me at that point.. I heard a growl escape him as we pulled away, reaching for air.. His moves were quick, I still couldn't follow up with every one of his actions.. I was dizzy from that kiss. I was lightheaded on him.. Not even realizing that his hand moved down my leg, hooking it up over his, pulling me as close to himself as physically possible..
I lost all my awareness, all my connection to reality at that point.. I stood pushed against the wall, feeling his lips over mine, over my skin, over my neck.. I was barely breathing when those hands took a grip of the material of my clothes, ripping them off within seconds.
I was left in nothing but my lingerie for what felt like seconds, and I could not believe I managed to rip his clothes away as well.. My body felt numb from how dominating all the senses were at once.. It was like I was flooded with all those cravings and desires. My skin was on fire, my blood was boiling, and it was a true relief when I felt him bury himself in me.. Taking me so effortlessly, so damn perfectly against the wall..
Our lips barely found any separation the whole time.. Our breaths mixed and our gazes met constantly.. I looked him in the eyes with every thrust and moaned against his lips with every hit of pleasure..
He held me against himself.. He groaned against my lips with a voice that held nothing but raw emotions.
"This is what I want. This is all I want. Shut the fuck up about her. Enough." My eyes shut closed when his lips met my neck, keeping my lower lip trapped between my teeth to keep quiet. It seemed like I was about to drown in that pleasure..
He did things to me.. Kissed my neck in ways that pushed me off that edge, flooded me with pleasure twice after only ten minutes.. He whispered things to my ear, told me how much he wanted me, how much he missed me..
He was driving me insane. I wasn't even sure if I could handle any more pleasure, but he seemed determined to make me explode in nothing but that as his lips moved against my ear, his voice vibrating against my skin and his words carving in my brain..
"Tell me you believe me," I couldn't find my way to answer, there was barely any air reaching my lungs, barely any sanity left in my mind to even realize that he repeated. "Look at me, Alexa.. Tell me you fucking believe me." His rhythm was driving me mad. His thrust became harsher with every second that passed.. The more I tested his patience, the bigger his lust grew.
I was holding on against his shoulders, leaning my head against the wall for support as I somehow managed to find his gaze..
"Say it." He dared me one last time, leaving one kiss on the side of my lips, another one on my jaw, back on my chin as those wild nut-brown eyes met mine again.
His timing, his words, his rhythm.. They were madly thought-through.. He knew exactly what he was doing to me.. My moans were for him, for no one else but him, and he took them as a prize..
"I believe you!" My voice was dragged, raspy, lost and desperate as I came to millions of piece, pushed over the edge the very same second he was.. I looked him in the eyes while saying that and was thankful for his lips locking with mine right after that.. But my body was going limp.. The pleasure took over me too harshly, controlling and gripping me to the point where I couldn't even respond to that kiss..
I felt one of his arms letting go, but he still held me perfectly in midair as he pressed his hand against the wall behind keeping me trapped and in place.. I didn't realize how harshly I had y fingers intertwined with his hair until I started slightly letting go, releasing those last moans as a relief for having him, having that moment with him right then..
We both allowed our sighs and pants to fill the thick air, losing ourselves in one another. I felt the broad muscles on his back relax a bit as he rested his soft lips on the side of my neck. I felt him slowly lead me lower while holding me against himself, allowing us to sink to the floor in each others arms.
I opened my eyes for a second, just to see those wide brown ones looking back at mine with the kind of ardor that filled my heart in the most pleasant way.. I felt him adjust beside me and lean against the wall beside me, still somehow keeping out bodies pressed against one another, our heartbeat almost pressed against one another as well..
I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling those strong arms wrap around my body, holding me tightly close to his. I never felt more soothed. More shielded.. Safer than I did in that moment.
He kissed the top of my head slowly, softly, inhaling through a slightly shaky breath "No one but you." He whispered against my hair, and those words alone were a proof that at that point, I needed nothing else.. No one else but him. The world could be crushing, and I wouldn't notice.
I knew he was telling the truth.. He showed his affection too strongly that night, his need and desperation for me too real for me to not feel them back, not to sink in those words and allow them control me. I believed him. I trusted him. At that point, there was no one else I wanted trusted more.
"I love you, Alexa Morgan." Those words made my heart flutter, my lips stretch into a satisfying smile as I wrapped my arms tighter around his tight stomach, slightly moving my head up enough to leave a kiss at the crook of his neck.. To allow that familiar soothing smell flood my senses.. To allow it to carve in my brain and to remember it forever.
"I love you so much." I whispered back, and did exactly that.. Allowed myself to love with all my heart. With no more denials, no more lies, no more games. All I needed was him. And I now that I had him, I was not letting go.. Not again.