Desire.....Why do I feel a desire towards Zac? This can't be happening! I love Demi, or do I? What the fuck? of course I do! Shit my mind keeps racing, I need to stop! I get closer to Zac and he smiles when he sees me.
"Hey you, long time no see soldier! How have you been Alex?" he said
"Hey Zac, not so good actually."
"Well that's why we're here, I brought you some hot chocolate because it's really cold up here and also hot chocolate is the perfect drink to drink when you need to talk. So come on, sit here and let's talk."
I wrap my arms around him and he holds me close
"Woah okay, or we can just stand and talk whichever you prefer."
I start crying and he looks down and says
"Hey it's okay don't cry, just here I'll hold you and just tell me what's wrong, but please don't cry. I can't bear to see you cry."
"I'm not the same, I don't know what's changed since that night. I just haven't been the same."
"That's still bothering you, Alex please don't let that bother you anymore. You had to do what you had to do to protect the ones you love."
"I know Zac, but I don't know why I feel this way, she hurt me, she hurt you, she hurt Demi, and she almost killed us. I should feel great that it's finally over but I can't help but feel guilty."
"She was sick, she would've killed us no matter what. There was no way into helping her get better, think of it as you helping her."
"I should but I don't know maybe since it happened not that long ago it still bothers me but maybe as time goes on it'll get better."
"Yeah, a little time does do some good Alex." he said
"I just wish that I could go back to the way I used to be."
"No matter how much you change, I will still look at you the same."
"How do you see me Zac?"
"I see you as the beautiful girl that was eager to help others, your beautiful smile, your wonderful personality. The girl that I still deeply care for."
"Zac.."
"Yes Alex?"
"I've been having this feeling that I can't shake off, and I don't know if it's good or bad?"
"Tell me." he said getting closer
"When I saw you I had this feeling, one I thought I'd never thought I'd have."
"What was that feeling?" he said in a low whispering tone
"Desire..." I said
"Desire? for me?."
"Yes."
There was a long pause he moves closer to me and he said
"I'm going to do something I'd never thought I'd do."
"What is that?
"This..."
He puts his hands on my cheeks and gives me a passionate kiss on the lips. The shocking thing about this is that I didn't push him away, I actually kissed him back.
"My god, you have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that, ever since our last first kiss. I dreamed of having your lips on mine again."
The feeling of desire had changed, not only did it change but it grew and I felt myself wanting more. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms around his neck, we were in the garden of the Observatory. It was dark, the only lights we had were the lights of the city skyline. He lays me down on the grass and he's in between my legs, as we kiss passionately on the grass. He stops for a minute and stares at me and says
"I love you, I always have."
"Zac."
"You don't have to say it back, I know you love Demi and this is a mistake but I just wanted you to know that I-" I interrupt him with a kiss and say
"I love you too." his eyes sparkle when I said that he looks at me and he grabs my hand and holds it tight as he leans in and kisses me again.
"You think we can make this work? You and I?"
"I don't know, we'll have to wait and see." I said
He keeps kissing me and we almost went too far with it. We almost ended up having sex right there but I didn't want to yet and he understood. I look at my phone and it's already 10 minutes past 10.
"Zac, I gotta go."
"Me too, drive safe baby. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Sure, I have the day off tomorrow and Demi is going to be at the school working maybe we can hang out."
"Sounds good, I'll text you when I get home. Bye baby." he said as he gave me another kiss.
"Bye babe." I said
He walks me to my car and opens the door and closes it for me, I drive off and I see him wave goodbye. Once I get home, I see that the lights are on and I knew Demi was up.
"Fuck, what am I going to tell her? she doesn't know I was with Zac or what happened between the two of us. I can just lie and say I was just getting a coffee and sitting in my car. But she wants to talk about what's going on with me, fuck I guess I have to lie about that too."
Before I get out of my car I get a text from Zac
To: Alex
From:Zac
"Hey I just got home, I hope you had a safe drive and feel better and if you need to talk I'm here for you."
To: Zac
From: Alex
"Hey Zac, yeah I did and thanks you really helped a lot and I hope you rest well Zac."
To: Alex
From: Zac
I can't stop thinking about what happened back there, my god Alexandra you're just so beautiful, that my heart can't stop beating so fast. You make me crazy in love for you."
To:Zac
From:Alex
"I can't stop thinking about that either. My god Zac, my minds just racing and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."
To: Alex
From: Zac
"Where should we meet? where can I see you?"
To: Zac
From: Alex
"Your house, we can hang out there but you cannot tell your brother or anyone about this."
To: Alex
From: Zac
I won't, and alright I'll get us some movies and snacks and we can spend the day here. It's getting late get some rest beautiful.
To: Zac
From: Alex
"Alright sounds good, goodnight I'll see you tomorrow and I love you too goodnight."
I delete the messages just in case and I head inside to find Demi sound asleep. I pick her up and take her to our bed upstairs. Once I saw her, I felt guilt and ashamed but that soon went away when I read another message from Zac
To: Alex
From: Zac
Hey, I'm sorry to bother you again but I just can't wait to see you and I know we almost went a little too far back there and I don't want you to think that I'm that guy that just wants sex. I care so much about you that I wouldn't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Only when you're ready, if not I respect you and your decision.
To:Zac
From: Alex
You have no idea, how much that meant to me thank you so much for understanding Zac. I'll be there early okay? sleep well. x
I change into my pjs and get into bed. I couldn't sleep, it felt wrong being in bed with Demi after what I've done so I decided to sleep in the guest bedroom. When I lay down in bed, I felt my eyes shut and I finally went to bed.