| . . . D E D I C A T I O N . . . |
~ For those who were not saved ~
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
| . . . S H O R T . . . D E S C R I P T I O N . . . |
After spending a year in depression trying to overcome the brutal and tragic incident that changed Khushi's life forever, she makes the decision to leave her home country, India, and get her college education in Australia in hopes of being able to put her past behind her. Little does she know; her past isn't ready to leave her yet. Simply a change of scenery isn't enough for the healing process when the fear has taken root deep within her soul.
Her hopes of a peaceful and invisible life in Australia is thrown off course due to a certain Arnav Singh Raizada who simply cannot leave her be. Is it because he's attracted to her? No. Not only is she a mystery to him but he hides his real reasons for wanting to help her. Little does he know, her past isn't just haunting her but is about to drag him into everything familiar and unfamiliar to him, challenging everything known and unknown in his life, ripping apart his deepest wounds.
Neither of them is a saint nor do they believe in sharing their pain with others.
And yet, he dares to save her and in turn, save himself.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
| . . . I N T R O D U C T I O N . . . |
As I lay in an open field, grass crunching under my body and the warmth of the sun soaking my face, I hear my brother and best friend bickering. On what, you ask? Who won the basketball match between the two? Forget the fact that I was the referee. Neither of them would listen when I announced that the winning basket went in the hoop after time was called because they would not settle on a tie.
One of them simply had to win.
It's just how Armaan and Riddhima were.
Now, I am not a patient person and for the nth time, I beg. "Let's just go home already" They had been at it for the last half hour. Neither would they let me enjoy the mid-afternoon in the cold Shimla weather in peace nor did I have the guts to get in between. It's beyond my understanding how they can pick a fight on any and all topics at any given time. They don't need a reason, truly. Simply put them against one another and you'll have your entertainment for the day.
Armaan answered and though my eyes are closed, I guarantee he was having a stare down with Riddhima, "Not until she accepts that I won!"
I point out sitting up and twisting about to face them, "God, does it really matter who won? You guys play every day. Call it even today and continue this tomorrow." It's so simple after all! They're both the captains for the boys and girls school team and naturally can be competitive.
This time, my best friend Riddhima Gupta replies, "Tell that to your brother. The idiot always cheats."
Side note, yes, we are aware of our similar last names. Fortunately, or not, Gupta is a common last name in India and when we became friends way back in pre-k, we did not ask what our last names were. Now, we were stuck as best friends and I was stuck with having to deal with my brother and best friend pulling each other's leg for rest of my life. Well, one I was stuck with given he was my brother but the other, I chose to be stuck with. So I guess my misery is my own doing.
Armaan gasps, "I do not cheat, basket!"
"Do too! You intentionally pushed me yesterday. I have the bruise to prove it."
And there they go again. Bickering like there is no tomorrow. Acting as five years. I pushed myself up on my feet brushing my back for any stray grass, "What are you, five? I'm going home."
At once, they held back their snappy comments to each other. They glanced at me, back at each other and then spoke at once, "Like hell you are." Creepy.
Closing the distance between us, Riddhima hooked her arm to my right while Armaan did the same to my left. They tugged me along walking on my either sides.
Well. I should have announced that long ago. Anyway, atleast it got them to stop arguing. It was clear why neither would allow me to walk home alone. I personally wouldn't choose to do so either. I said that hoping they would follow me and at last, I would get to go home.
Luckily, the ruse worked.
Now, I was born in this town and raised here my entire 18 years of existence. So, why wouldn't I be comfortable going home by myself?
This was a secret we kept between ourselves. It had been months since it happened. Only a handful of people knew. The three of us, the two responsible and the two who saved me - one of them being a doctor and Riddhima's father. The other, I didn't know. Even if he were to be right in front of me, I wouldn't recognize him. As for the two responsible... the ones who left this fear in me, they wouldn't show their face unless they wanted trouble.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
Months later, Armaan visited my room after dinner with an offer.
I was in bed just staring up at my ceiling. For the longest, I didn't have the heart for anything. If I wasn't studying, I wasn't doing anything. Listening to music and watching tv or movies for entertainment seemed pointless. Carrying any hobby was meaningless when it offered no peace or fun. The screams in my head wouldn't stop. The despair at life only continued with no light I could see in the near future.
Armaan and Riddhima were my only means of solace. If not for them, I wouldn't smile even occasionally.
I eyed the papers he held in his hand, "What have you got there?"
"University application," he informed nudging me to the other side so he could get in bed too.
"Ah, yours?"
"For you." He flipped them around for me to read. At the top was the name printed clearly with the school symbol.
I glanced up in confusion, "University of Melbourne?"
"It's in Australia."
I narrow my eyes for stating the obvious, "I know where Melbourne is, genius. My geography is not that weak. Why'd you print these?"
"I want you to fill them out."
I argue, "Armaan, you're joking, right? Australia is another country. Another continent!"
He breathes out a sigh before voicing his concerns, "Doll, take this as a fresh start. It kills me to see you like this day in and out. It pisses me to no end that I can do nothing about it. Riddhima and I were talking and we think, maybe, getting away from here would be a good thing."
"No matter where I go, Armaan, people will be people."
He continued to insist, "I can't change that but I refuse to sit by and let you turn away from life like this! We can't change what happened. I wish, wish, I could but I can't. I'm your brother. I'm supposed to protect you from all harm and I couldn't. They took your smile that was always on your lips, your mischief always sparkling in your eyes... you were so full of life and now... Even when they're gone, they're taking you from me every day, sis. Please, do this? For me. For mom and dad? If this goes on, eventually they will notice something is wrong and if they ask..."
With panic in my voice, I remind him. "They can't find out. You promised!"
"I did," he agreed but continued to clarify, "I promised to hide this from them but if they ask, don't ask me to lie to them, Khushi."
I can't have them find out. It would kill them. "Okay! Okay, I'll fill this out. Just... they can't ever find out."
He nodded in agreement and I exhale in relief.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
"You ready?" Armaan asked four months later, the night we were set to leave for Australia. We as in Riddhima and I. After I applied, Riddhima told me she had applied too. She'd done it before me and when Armaan had found out, he'd thought it would be a good idea for me to go too.
I nodded slipping my ticket in my hand bag, "Yeah."
He draped an assuring arm around my shoulder, gently squeezing. "You can do this, doll."
I nodded again though I lacked his belief. I had talked myself into doing this and thinking Armaan was right. It may do me good to get away from this place. I needed a change to forget everything. I was hoping it would help me recover from the trauma. My only assurance was my best friend. "Ridzzi will be with me."
He admitted, "Only reason why I'm allowing you to go."
I found it in me to smile, "I thought the two of you were currently at hating each other phase?" It's always changing with them, every day. Sometimes, even multiple times in a day.
His eyes turned dark trying to hide something, "You know how it is."
I had noticed this... the entire summer that Riddhima had been away visiting her grandmother, Armaan hadn't been himself. Something was on his mind, worrying him, but no matter how many times I asked, he wouldn't tell me. He'd brush it off as nothing but I know him. He's trying to put on a tough act to not worry me.
I let my head fall back in his side, "I'm going to miss you." I was trying to cover my fears. I'd never been out of the city myself. He was always there. While before I would have just felt it all daunting - going to live somewhere by yourself for the entire duration of college degree - it's different now. I would have found a way to handle it before but my fear doubled in the past year.
He held my hand and squeezed it before hugging me. I shiver slightly but I know I had nothing to be afraid of. He is my brother. The one person around whom I would always be completely safe. Never in my life will I be able to trust another guy. But him? I could with blind trust.
Even if we weren't related by blood and he was adopted by my parents, we had grown up together in the same house. He'd held my hand as a kid afraid of the monsters lurking in the dark or after any scary movies. He'd been the one to wipe my every tear and showered such love on me that I was closest to him in this entire world. He was only a week older than me but he'd always treated me as his little sister as if he were older to me by years.
I embrace him tightly for I don't know when the next time would be. I haven't lived a day of my life without seeing him and I don't know how I will manage. I try to take with me all the comfort I can and all the safety because I don't think there can be any other place I can feel this safe.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .