Nikoli tossed his empty beer can in the direction of the table and let his gaze wander over the crowd. His frat house was packed with drunken hot chicks, and he was finding it difficult to even look at one. He kept thinking about Lily. Her eyes haunted him. He hadn't been back to the penthouse since their night there. God knew he'd tried, but the thought of going there without her was too much. Maybe it was time to put it up for sale. He was graduating this semester and leaving Boston. He and Luther were setting up their corporate offices in New York. They'd decided on that two years ago, but now Nikoli was rethinking the location. Lily was moving to New York after graduation.
Fuck. She shouldn't be able to do this to him. He was seriously reconsidering relocating to a different city. She was just a chick. He tried to tell himself that every day, but he knew better. Lily Bells was special. She was kind, beautiful, full of love and joy, and she made him feel. Feel so much more than anyone ever had. She made him feel in a way that touched him to his core. It scared him. Enough that he let her walk away from him. Even after she told him she didn't want Boy Wonder, that all she wanted was him. He'd broken her heart. Her eyes...fuck, he could still see the pain in her eyes. It cut him to his core, and he hated that she could do that to him.
Hated that he loved her.
At least he'd stopped drinking himself into oblivion every day.
He needed to get laid. One good hard fuck and he'd forget her. She was just a chick, after all. Same as the rest of them. Same as the other girl he'd thought he loved. She'd been easily forgotten, and so would Lily. His inner demons laughed at him, but he ignored them. Tonight, he'd find a girl, take her to one of the rooms, and forget Lily Holmes existed.
His eyes scanned the room and zeroed in on the blonde getting a beer. Nikoli appreciated the way her dress clung to her curves and the way her hips rolled suggestively when she moved. Here was a girl meant to be fucked. With a grin, he stood and swaggered over to her, his only intent to take her upstairs into one of the rooms and get her naked.
***
Lily sighed. She'd finally relented to Janet's constant demands that she come to a party. It was at Nikoli and Luther's frat house, but she was pretty sure Nikoli wouldn't be there. He hated these things. He'd rather be in a bar. At least she hoped he wouldn't be there. She wasn't sure she was ready to see him yet. It had been almost a month since he told her he didn't love her. Every time she thought about him, her heart shattered all over again. No one except Adam knew how badly broken she was. She'd learned over the years to hide her pain well. They all thought she was fine about breaking up with Nikoli.
Breaking up. She laughed a little bitterly at the words. They had never been together, not really. It was all just a stupid bargain. A bargain Nikoli had come out of smelling like roses. Lily came out the other end a broken mess—no Adam, no Nikoli, and she didn't even get the damn car. All she ended up with was a broken heart and the need to cry every five minutes. Which was why she gave in about the party. She needed to stop moping around and wallowing in her own pain. The only way to get past it was to go out and make herself do normal things. Like this party, even if it was Nikoli's frat house.
Mike saw her first and rushed over to give her a hug. He grinned from ear to ear when she returned it. "Hey, Lils, you made it."
"Not like Jan gave me a choice," she said ruefully. "I don't think she was going to budge from my room until I came."
"Well, you know my girl," Mike said, a smile breaking free. "She's bossy and always gets her way."
"Hey!" Jan playfully punched him in the arm then snuggled up to him.
"There's my girl." Adam waited a moment to let her know what was coming then wrapped an arm around her and hugged her tight. It was one of the things watching her and Nikoli together had taught him. Don't surprise her, and he stood a better chance of not causing her to panic.
He gave her his one-hundred-watt smile and dragged her outside to the balcony where it was quiet. One other couple was making out in the corner, so he led her to the opposite end.
"Are you sure you can be here?" he asked. "Nikoli's here somewhere."
Lily's face blanched, and her heart twisted. Her flight or fight instincts kicked in, and she wanted to run far, far away.
"I'll take you home," Adam said softly.
"No." She shook her head. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn't. It was inevitable that she'd see Nikoli, and she'd rather do it here with her friends around her than somewhere else. "Jan will freak out if I leave, and then everyone will think I left because of him. I'm not going to run away like a scared little girl, Adam. That's not who I am anymore."
Adam gave her a doleful smile. "I like this new more confident you, but sometimes I wish the old Lily would rear her head up when you're about to get hurt again for no reason."
Lily knew what he was referring to. Women loved Nikoli, and she'd heard he'd had women hanging off him everywhere he went. Tonight would be no different, but she had to suffer through it. Not only for Jan, but for herself. She needed to prove she could get through the pain. That she'd be able to breathe again one day without feeling the burn of the ache scorching her insides.
"You know how much I love you, don't you?" she asked, giving him another hug. She didn't know how she'd have gotten through those first days without him. He'd lain with her on Janet's bathroom floor for two days. They hadn't said anything; he'd just comforted her. He'd been her best friend, and it had helped more than anything else.
"I love you too, Lily." He hugged her back, and she made up her mind to talk to him, but she didn't want him to take it the wrong way.
"Adam, I need to talk to you." She leaned against the balcony railing. "I've wanted to say this for a long time, but I didn't because I thought you were happy."
"Have you reconsidered my proposal?" The hope in his eyes hurt. She didn't want him to hurt like she was hurting.
"No, Adam, it wouldn't be fair to either of us, and you know it, but I do want to talk to you about Sue."
He sighed and settled down beside her.
"You know the only thing I want is for you to be happy."
Adam nodded.
"Are you happy, though? The very fact that you were willing to dump her for me says a lot. Are you marrying her because you want to or because you feel it's what's expected of you? Are you going to be happy with her five years from now, ten?"
"I honestly don't know, Lils," he said. "The closer the wedding gets, the more nervous and anxious I get. I start to question myself. Sometimes I think she manipulated me into asking her. I felt so pressured."
"Promise me that before you stand before God and all our family and friends, you'll think about what you're doing. Promise me you'll call this off if it's not going to make you happy. Please, Adam."
"I promise." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Let's get back inside. Janet wants to show you her wedding stuff. She has it all over here for some reason. I'm not sure why."
Janet attacked as soon as they came back into the main room. "I'm so sorry, Lily, I didn't know until Mike told me. I swear I didn't know."
"It's okay, Jan." She laughed. "It's fine, really. Now, what's this I hear about wedding stuff? And why is it all at a frat house?"
Jan looked madder than a wet hen. "Mike was trying to fix the sink and ended up flooding the apartment. We're both staying here until it gets fixed."
"Oh, my," Lily murmured. That sure sounded like something Mikey would do.
"But why is it here and not at Mike's frat?"
"Well, he actually dropped out of it."
"What? Why?"
"Dues. I dropped out of my sorority too. We're trying to save every penny we can to start our new life in New York. Steve is his buddy from the football team and offered to let Mike stay here with me, so I hauled my wedding stuff over here."
"I'm not sure if I should say sorry or not?" Lily knew how much she loved being in a sorority. It had to have been hard for her to walk away from it. Just said how much she loved Mike.
Janet sighed and didn't answer the question. "Come on, I'll show you everything I've picked out so far. I need help with the flowers and the bridesmaids' dresses..."
"It's a party, Jan!" Mike shouted from across the room. "Let's party!"
She shot him a look that promised no sex for a year, and Lily giggled. Janet started muttering about stupid men on the way up the stairs. The three drunken guys who stumbled down the stairs past her suffered the same look. They didn't waste time in getting out of her way. Lily laughed as she followed Jan down the hall, listening to her ramble on about colors and flowers.
Nikoli had his lips plastered to the blonde when he heard them. He'd know Lily's voice anywhere. He tore his mouth from the girl's and stared in horror as the door slowly opened. Jan looked up, her expression going from shock to outright rage when she saw him with his hands under the girl's shirt, his knee pressed between her legs. It was Lily he saw, though.
Her gaze swung from him to the busty blonde he'd shoved up against a wall. Her eyes, while they had been shuttered, now pooled with pain and hurt. A single tear escaped before she turned around and ran.
Nikoli cracked. Seeing her again, after all these weeks, all the lies he'd told himself laughed in his face. The pain in her eyes, the pain he'd been responsible for putting there not once, but twice, was the slap upside the head he needed. He loved her. He'd tried so hard to convince himself he didn't, but she haunted him. He loved her, dammit, and it was time he told her. It was time he put them both out of their misery.
If she'd have him after this.
He started cursing and detached himself from the girl, meaning to follow Lily, but the little bit of fluff in the doorway stopped him.
"How dare you!" she shrieked. "Do you know what you did to her? Do you even care that she laid on my bathroom floor for two days crying? Do you care that she sobbed so hard she lost her voice? Who the fuck do you think you are, Nikoli Kincaid? You're nothing but a worthless, no good..."
"First, this is my frat house, and I didn't expect her to show up here. Second, I sure as hell didn't mean for her to see that. Now, get out of my way so I can go check on her!"
"Check on her?" Janet yelled. "You stay the hell away from her! She doesn't need you causing her any more pain."
Nikoli simply picked up the pixie-like woman and set her aside, ignoring both women shouting at him as he ran down the stairs. He looked and didn't see her anywhere, but everyone was staring at him.
"Where?" he barked, and several people pointed to the front door. He wasted no time and ripped the door open to bound down the steps. He knew exactly where she'd go. The small gazebo up the street in the center of the outlying buildings. She loved it there, said it was peaceful.
He stopped dead about twenty feet from the gazebo. There was a cell phone on the ground, with a trail of blood leading from it to the street. He took several more steps, and dread froze his heart.
The phone was Lily's.