Touch Me Not (Manwhore Series #1)

Chapter Thirteen

Lily stood gazing out the window onto the street below. Traffic crawled by. Downtown Boston was almost as bad as New York City during rush hour. There was a good portion of the city that took the bus or walked. The bus was out of the question for her. And Uber...well, after all the reports she'd seen, she didn't quite trust them. She'd gotten Mike to bring her to her shrink's office. After the last few days, she needed to talk. Badly.

The office door opened, and a middle-aged man scurried out, looking emotionally battered. She recognized the look, having worn it herself more times than she could count after an office visit with Rebekha.

Dr. Rebekha Purdue popped her head out and smiled at Lily. She was in her mid- to late forties, about the age of Lily's mom, with chestnut brown hair and warm brown eyes. She reminded Lily a lot of her mother. Maybe that was why she had connected with her after seeing three other psychiatrists in the greater Boston area when she'd moved here.

"Lily, come in, come in." Rebekha stepped back so Lily could enter. The office was warm and cozy, done in soothing shades of blue and gray, with a random yellow throw pillow nestled on one of the couches.

"Thank you so much for fitting me in." Lily dropped down on the couch nearest the door and grabbed the throw pillow.

"Of course." Rebekha took her seat in the armchair across from Lily. "It's not often you call and ask for an emergency meeting. The last one was two years ago, I believe. Is everything okay?"

She'd been seeing Rebekha twice a week when she'd first started therapy sessions three years ago. Now she was down to a visit twice a month as needed. The last emergency session had been when Brian tried to hug her and she'd flipped out. Hiding her phobia from everyone after that had been impossible. All the guys she'd tutored had become extremely protective of her after Adam explained it to them. That was part of the reason they rode Nikoli so hard over her. Sometimes she thought they'd all adopted her as an honorary little sister.

"I met someone." Lily stared at her fingers twisting the end of the pillow. Rebekha waited for her to go on. She'd learned from the beginning to let Lily talk at her own pace, something Lily truly appreciated. Talking about her feelings and her phobia was hard for her. "He says he can help me learn to deal with my phobia."

"Help you?" Rebekha shifted in her seat and gave her a questioning stare.

Lily spent the next twenty minutes going over the last few days and told her about Nikoli and his crazy proposition, about all the insane emotions she'd been feeling, and how Nikoli made her feel.

"That's crazy, right?" Lily finally looked up. "I don't understand why my panic level doesn't skyrocket around him or why he can touch me when Adam can't."

"It's not crazy at all," Rebekah assured her. "Lily, your phobia is not as extreme or as severe as some of the other patients I treat. I have patients who can't even leave their apartment because they are so petrified of physical contact. You are a functioning member of society. You have limits, yes, like cutting your own hair instead of going to a salon, but your fear is a controlled one. You don't let it stop you. Let's look at what we know about your phobia. Your fear is centered more around your family than the general public. You are afraid that showing them love or any emotion through physical contact can somehow cause them harm or even death. You think of Adam as family, don't you?"

"Of course."

"Adam became part of your fear, but Nikoli is new. He's not someone you consider family."

"Still, I shouldn't want him to touch me. I've known most of the football team for years, and I can't even give Mikey a hug. I don't understand what is going on with me. Why is he different?"