Well. fuck me.
I'm not even sure on how to process that? I fall back on the bed feeling confused and stupid.. Again. Not only have I supposable said something pretty messed up but he has just walked out on me... again, What's that like the third? Fourth time? I've lost count.
Feels like hours pass as I stare at the stupid white ceiling shaking my head. What do I do now?
I lay there for awhile running the recent events over in my head, trying to see where I just keep going wrong. I get up and head for the kitchen. I can't think properly on an empty stomach. Checking the cupboards than the fridge I slam the doors shut finding nothing I can whip together, or maybe I just don't have the energy to cook,. leaning back On the counter I tap my ring.
Do I risk seeing Julie? Surely her daughter being mated to the now beta of fallen moon would have her over what ever it was she had against me right? With that thought I throw on my shoes and head out.
It's a beautiful night. The clouds seem to have all disappeared as the stars stand out scattered across the dark sky.
I glance at the building that holds Ethan's office wondering if he's in there hell I'm wondering what he's been doing all this time. His words play back in my head, -that we both had interesting afternoons? - I still don't know what he meant by that? Did something like that happen to him? Even worse did he have a half naked girl appear in front of him earlier that day? A growl rumbles through me at the thought.
Its still early out as the street is still quite busy, passing a few pack members as I hear bits of there conversation nothing that takes my interest though.
I stop on the other side of the street as I look to the small cafe. They don't seem that busy and I can't seem to see Julie in there but I guess she could always be out the back. I push off the curb headed towards the doors.
I walking quickly and quietly keeping my head down not wanting to see Julie if she's here. I find a seat more in the back but near the front window in the corner, away from prying eyes as I take a seat keeping my back to the rest of the room.
Im starving
Looking over the menu I decide on the steak again but this time I'm hoping to finish it. No distractions.
"Good evening are you ready to order?"
I look up to see a young boy with bright blue eyes and a pretty smile. his eyes then turn brighter once they land on my face, me only thanking it's not Julie.
"Luna" he says with his smile a little wider
There's something familiar about him
I nod my head
"I'll have the steak med-well please" I say with a smile handing him the menu
"Yes of course .. I um .. I" he begins to mumble as he looks up from his notepad
I give him a reassuring smile in hopes to calm him down, he seems nervous.
"I.. I'm Timmys younger brother Kai" he finally gets out
So that's the familiar look I was seeing, he looks just like Timmy now that I think more about it
"Nice to meet you Kai" I say happily
His face flushes red as he gives me a short wave and scurries off towards a small looking computer. I quietly chuckle to myself, he's a little on the shy side but otherwise he seems nice.
I watch some more people enter and take there seats more to the centre. Looks like I've come at rush hour. They don't seem to notice me and for that I'm great full.
I turn back to my table and begin to fiddle with my ring. The rooms chatter has gotten louder, by the sounds of it more people have arrived for dinner.
I keep my head low not exactly feeling like a conversation with anyone as my thoughts wonder back on what the hell I should do about Ethan.
Why does he have to be so difficult. I don't know why i would have called him Jason. I don't like Jason in that way.. Do I? Yea I've known him most of my whole life and yes I loved him at one point or another but it faded. It obviously wasn't meant to be. And I know i got over those feelings well before I even met Ethan. But how to prove that to him? I flop back in my chair, I shouldn't have to prove it.
"Here we are"
I look up to see Kai placing my meal down gently in front of me.. That was fast. How long exactly was i caught up with my thoughts
"Thankyou"
"Would you like anything to drink?" He says after just looking at me thoughtfully
"Um.. Sure just some water would be fine" I say with a small smile
His smile get wider as he nods his head and quickly scurries off again.
I chuckle as I watch him head for the bar. I look back to my plate only to be stopped midway at a familiar looking back across the room. I would know those broad shoulders anywhere. When did he walk in? Ethan's sitting at his usual booth where he's brought me to eat a few times, shoulders kinda of hunched and his head slightly down. Does he even know I'm in here? Guessing by his last words I don't think he would come to sit with me anyway.
I pick up my cutlery and begin to eat while trying to stop myself from peeking over at him.
I end up peeking over my shoulder not being able to resist it as everyone seems to not even notice I'm here. they sure notice Ethan as I watch a few people look over at him even the table with the young teenagers seem to be just staring in his direction with dreamy looks on the girls and 2 boys seated with them with annoyed expressions.
I can't help but quietly chuckle at them.
If they knew the shit I've been through with him I doubt they would be looking all lovey dovey at him.
This is the first time I haven't had the urge to approach him and try talk to him. Probably because I just don't know what to say anymore.
I continue on eating ignoring the voice in my head telling me I need to fix things. I don't see why it's always me trying to fix it between us. There shouldn't even be anything to fix in the first place.
"Here you are.. s- sorry about the wait"
I look up at Kai wondering what he's going on about as I'm already eating to see him place a large ice water down in front of me. Oh, I forgot I asked for that.
"That's fine"
He smiles back at me as he scurries off again, they must be really busy, I look around to find most the tables occupied but ignoring that gorgeous man on the other side of the room.
I look down at my half eaten meal and sigh, the steak is good but I think my current mood isn't letting me enjoy it.
I peek at him again to than go still. Who the hell is she!? I would recognise her bright red hair if I had seen her before? I'm distracted by Kai approaching there table as he says something and they both look to him. Ethan says something as he looks to stupid red head and she giggles.
Jealousy drives it way through me like a spear to the heart as I glare at them from my little corner table.
His posture is better as he's now sitting a lot straighter and I swear I just saw him laugh along with her if his shoulder movement wasn't a clear indication.
I feel myself clench my jaw as I turn back to my meal completely losing my appetite.
Why would he be having dinner with this chick? Should I be upset? Fuck yeah I'm upset.
I look back at them as I watch her intently. She has this big perfect smile spread across her stupid face as she talks happily to him. I watch Kai bring them drinks as I see him place a beer down in front of Ethan and what looks like some sought of cocktail with an umbrella hanging out of it. I didn't peg Ethan as much of a drinker but who am I to be surprised by him anymore.
Her red hair is bright, too bright to be natural and if her low cut top isn't shouting 'I'm desperate' then the amount of make up she's wearing for a simple Thursday night surely is.
Do you ever get those moments that you know your a nice person but hearing your own thoughts, you kinda question yourself that maybe you are actually a bitch? That's me right now .. What I wouldn't give to walk right over there and stab her in her gorgeous pretty face with the fork that's now clenched in my hand.
I just wish I could see Ethan's face not from hurting his new found friend that i have never seen him with let alone remember meeting but just to try get a glimpse of what's he's feeling.
Gees Mia stalker much? I try to take my eyes off them but I just can't. Just watching them together is making me sick with jealousy as I feel it burning through my heart.
Maybe it's just a dinner? maybe there just friends? And I'm getting all worked up over nothing .. Just maybe
I'm starting to hate the word 'maybe'
I drag my eyes away from them long enough to see Kai moving quickly through the tables clearing away finished plates and glass wear as he smiles politely to those that look at him. Looks like Julie hired someone to help, other than Chloe. And by the looks of it he's really good at his job.
My focus lands back on Ethan and home wrecker as I watch in shock as she places her hand towards Ethan..
Dammit! move Kai!
I can't see! If her hand is on his I'm going to flip. Better yet, flip her right out the door. I wouldn't but the thought makes me feel just a tiny bit better as I use everything in me to stop the darkness from overwhelming me I don't want any attention from everyone in the room.
Kai finally gives me what I've been waiting for as those few seconds felt like hours as I lean back in my chair a little further to zone in on there table.
Fuck
Why hasn't he moved his hand? There not exactly holding hands but they might as well be, her ugly paw is resting on top of my mates hand.
Bitch! As if she wouldn't know he's mated? He's no longer available. technically he's not even available to me and I'm his god dam mate.
"Is everything ok Luna?"
Shit. I look up to see Kai standing right in front of my table with a semi confused look on his face. I couldn't help but notice his side glance towards Ethan's table as he focuses back on me. Great probably wondering why we aren't even eating together.
"Luna?" He says waving his hand in front of me
"Yea, sorry what did you say?"
"Would you like me to clear your plate?" he asks still looking confused
"Yea sure"
"Was there something wrong with your meal?" He asks looking at me strangely
Yea the big red distraction is what's wrong with my meal
"No it was lovely, thank you" I say pushing my nearly empty plate towards him
He takes my plate and goes to turn but hesitating before looking back at me. He must have changed his mind as he than turns and leaves from my view.
I sigh
I don't look, I glare back at no name pretty red head- home wrecker, to see Ethan leaned back in his chair and his hands no where to be seen as they would now be sitting in his lap. Good.
Keep them there.
I see Kai appear again walking towards there table as he looks over at me before turning and approaching there table
Little Pip squeak better not tell them I'm here and how much of a creep I'm being by watching them. I see a Few words are exchanged as he picks up two empty plates from there table and heads back towards the kitchen. How long have I been here glaring at them? I didn't even see them get there food and I've been watching them like a hawk.
Red head home wrecker frowns this being the first time tonight I've seen her lose that stupid pretty smile off her face.
I wonder what he said?
Suddenly her stupid smile is back as she playfully throws her napkin at him and I hear him chuckle loudly, the sound now feeling like a punch to the gut.
Fuck this
I stand and head straight for there table bringing myself to make my facials neutral and losing my glare keeping my mind focused on staying that way.
As soon as I'm only a few meters away Ethan's head snaps in my direction sensing me close as his smile turns into a frown.
"Hi" I say pushing a smile onto my face no doubt it's fake
Home wrecker looks up to me as if my one word was the most annoying sound she has ever heard. I mentally roll my eyes
"Hey" Ethan says leaning back in his chair .. Again
"We are kind of in the middle of something I'm sure alpha west can assist you once we are done" she says clearly sounding annoyed, her eyes giving me a once over
"Oh sorry mam I didn't mean to interrupt I.." I get cut off by her wow she's rude too
"I'm not a mam" she says flatly
"I'm sorry.. Sir?" I ask
I watch her face turn the same colour as her hair as she than glares back at me. I pay her no mind as I completely ignore her and turn to Ethan
"I was just seeing when your free so we can continue the conversation we had earlier" and if I see her touch you again I really will lose my shit
"There's nothing left to talk about" he says with what looks like an amused expression fading
"I'm going to have to disagree with you on that" I say happily but with more force behind it
His smile is now gone and his eyes slightly narrow at me
"You know you should never disagree with your alpha" red head,red face states
The way she said it sounds like she's not a member of fallen moon. With out knowing, i secretly try to workout her scent. I can't help to think how much prettier the stupid home wrecker is up close. Dam her! and her beauty
"sometimes even an alpha can get things wrong" I say forcefully back at her hoping Ethan will get my double meaning
Yep she's not fallen moon. That must be why I don't remember the she bitch in my chair.
"Don't you have other things to do?"
This time my smile fades as I look back to Ethan fully hearing his double meaning.
"Your right. I do" I say flatly
His hand clenches into a fist and I can't help but mentally laugh that my comment got to him. Good.
"Enjoy your night Ethan"
"Sir" I say turning to red bitch and giving her a sweet smile
Before they can reply I leave there table and head for the bar. I was intending to leave and go home but for some reason I can't bring myself to leave knowing Ethan looked like he was actually enjoying redheads presence.
I pull out one of the small wooden bar stools and sit up next to another couple that seem to be on a date By the way there faces are so close and in deep conversation.
"Good evening Luna what can I get you?" I look up to see Brian smiling back at me
"Hey Brian can I just get a beer, any will do" I say casually. I'm not big on beer and I actually don't even know why I ordered it
He nods his head as he turns around opening a small glass fridge door.
Brian's one of the waiters I met at the pack house lunch that Sean dragged me to that time. I met his mate Lisa who seems to just talk way too much for comfort.
He places the beer down with a wink and turns to the next person that was waiting a few chairs down from me.
I sip the beer. What am I even doing I don't even feel like a beer yet it's surprisingly nice, not very bitter at all.
I glance over my shoulder to see redhead and Ethan still there as I frown, he's leaned in now not resting back on the chair as what ever there conversation is about it looks deep.
I turn away and take another few larger sips from my beer bottle.
I glance at Brian to see him giving me a questioning look. Gees can I do anything without anyone noticing.
Dammit now he's walking towards me.
"Another round?" He asks gesturing to my hand
I look down to see that I've actually finished my beer, huh, how did that happen.
"No thanks" I say sliding the empty bottle towards him
He gives me a small smile as I feel a twinge of guilt that he was just doing his job. I hear the squeak of a chair as I look up to my right to see redhead sit down next to me. I look past her at the table they were seated at to see Ethan's no longer there either. He must have gone to the bathroom?
"You know alpha west isn't the commitment type" she says tapping her long perfectly polished nails on the bar table
What is she on about?
"Don't look surprised I can smell his scent all over you" I'm taken back by her statement
Of course his scent is on me, the fucken asshole marked me without me knowing, but something in her tone tells me that she doesn't even realise I'm actually his Luna
"I guess that's what happens.. You know after you play" I say deciding not to tell her who I actually am
Her nose screws up as she seems to have not expected me to say that, her eyes giving me another once over with the kind of look that she doesn't see how I could of been with Ethan. That one look hurts me more than it should have.
"Ready to go?" We both look to Ethan
I just about jump off my chair and scream yes! Get me away from her before I hear her speak
"Sure babe" she says stepping off the stool as Ethan holds her hand to help her before dropping it again once she's standing
Babe?
Always The gentleman Ethan, I roll my eyes
I feel myself glare at her as my eyes flick back to Ethan.
"I expect you will be heading home soon" Ethan says with a feeling I can't seem to put my finger on
It's almost as if he cared about me
"Expect all you want" my voice not surprisingly bitchy
Shit maybe I am a bitch
I don't give anything away keeping my face blank as I watch his jaw clench
Hell yea I'm going home I'm exhausted but he wants to play games? And I'm all for games.
He hesitates as redhead slightly nudges him to continue on there way but she might as well of pushed a wall, he didn't budge as he turns to give her a glare of his own making her instantly step back looking surprised.
Ha! Looks like you don't know him so well stupid redbitch
"Don't go running anywhere without letting myself or Beta Davis know" he says firmly looking back at me
I'm not sure what my expression is like on my face to make him think I was gonna go for a run but his assumption irritates me
"I'll be sure to let beta Davis know" shit I know I'm playing with fire now
Stupid Mia! why do I do this?
His face turns deadly as his eyes flick from black to brown making me flinch back before turning and heads towards the exit.
"Fix your hair you look like a mess" redhead says with a smirk as she leaves following Ethan's path
I roll my eyes as I feel so dam low for saying that to him. What the fuck is wrong with me.
I wait awhile at the bar feeling like a fool as I subconsciously pat my hair down feeling for any stray hairs that may have come loose. Stupid red
I finally leave the cafe.
I stand out on the street not exactly wanting to go back home alone. God I wish I had a car. Maybe I could go visit Sean and Frances but there house is blocks away down this long as road. I spin my ring as I find myself walking towards Ethan's office.
Pushing open The building doors and carefully walking down the hallway being as quiet as I can I approach the two large doors to find them closed.
I listen carefully but am met with silence. I test the handle to find that its unlocked and crack the door slightly and peer through.
I release the breath I was holding to find the room empty and quickly walk in.
His desk is now all organised with everything seeming to be sitting in its place. I shake my head. Neat freak.
I open the draws looking for keys anything that looks like car keys will do.
I bump the mouse on the desk as his computer screen lights up. Taking my attention I look at the screen
I look at the email closely that's open on the screen as its a reply to breakpoint pack titled -guest list-
Two columns are written under the words attending and unable to attend
I go through the long list of names of attending as I find everyone's names I already knew that was going.. Except mine.
What the hell
I scroll back up and search through the unable to attend Column feeling anxious I freeze to find my name added at the bottom of the list
Fuck
Ethan was un inviting me to the celebration. The celebration happening at breakpoint pack that Jason had received for us all late last week.
He already knows I have bought a dress for it, he even put it away himself. When the hell was he going to mention to me that I was no longer going as its only tomorrow night.
I sit down on the large black leather chair and trace the crack lines on the desk. What to do?
I grab the mouse and click on my name deleting it from the un attending and re typing my name in the 'attending column' I finish off the email writing Ethan's name and hit send without a second thought.
I than delete the sent email and the one in his inbox asking to confirm the guest list.
All I have to do now is hope he doesn't remember that he didn't finish the email off himself. His inbox makes a sound as I see a reply from breakpoint already. That was fast
Clicking on it i open it
It's from there alpha, alpha Ashwood seems to be his name.
Just stating thanks for the confirmed list and looks forward to seeing Ethan tomorrow night. Well this is actually good isn't it? I leave that email in the inbox and mark it as unread. Least this way he won't question whether or not he sent the email because he will read this and think he actually sent it.
I turn the screen off putting it to sleep as I look around the desk for keys. Coming up short I leave the office and head home.
Semi pissed off that he no longer wanted me to go to the celebration and anxious that I'm going to make him wish I was never there!