Sometimes the memory of someone is better than the reality of them.
- Steve Maraboli
🔸🔹
I was again stuck in the middle of a trust problem. Should I listen to this stranger and ask my parents and Liam about Stacy or it this person lying? Why did he particularly ask me to ask them about Stacy. Who is she? What is her connection with me?
"Hey,babe." I saw Zayn coming hack with two paper bowls of popcorn. Seeing him, tears fell down even more.
"Who's Stacy?" I asked when he was passing on the bowl to me. His expression changed from happy to shock. So he knows who Stacy is.
"Sophia..I,um..." He didn't speak anything.
"I knew it. You lied. You all lied to me." I threw the popcorn on the ground and ran away from there. I heard him call my name, but I didn't turn back. Stacy is someone who these all people know. But I'm totally unaware about her. There is something about her that is not good for me.
"Sophia. Wait." I could hear Zayn chase me. I was soon out of his sight. I could see him searching here and there for me. I his behind a tree.
Meet me at the cliff, in 10 minutes.
This is urgent.
I typed to message to all. From Liam to the girls, my parents and also Zayn.
I have to know what is the story behind all this. I have had enough and can't take this anymore. If this secret is bad, I wanna know what is so wrong in it that they all know and I don't.
It was the feeling when you don't even know what you're feeling. I wasn't sure about what I was feeling, that had to be fear. The fear of knowing the truth, fear of what if the secret is bad enough for me to handle, fear of what might happen after that.
Escaping from Zayn's sight, I ran to the cliff area. Tonight I want all the answers to my questions. It's tonight or never.
-----
Stacy. Sophia came to know about her. But how? She was fine before five minutes. What just happened to her. I cannot find her and I'm worried sick. Liam should have told her everything before. I don't want to lose her. No, I can't.
My phone indicated that I have a message. I opened reading it.
Meet me at the cliff, in 10 minutes.
This is urgent.
Sophia. Why did she send this message to me?
I dialed Liam's number and after three rings, he picked up the call.
"Liam." I rushed. "Hey,bud. What happened, you seem worried."
"Sophia, she ran away." Worried, I declared. "What. Why. I mean what happened?" He asked questions. "She asked me about Stacy and then ran away. She was crying. Liam, I got a message from her to meet her at the cliff. I'm worried."
"Fuck. She even messaged Lauren about this. Damn, I ruined everything. She came to know about Stacy, but how?" He asked me.
"I don't fucking know, I want her back. I can't lose her." I yelled and ended the call. I was worried and so I started running towards the cliff.
-----
I hid behind a rock and waited for all to arrive. First arrived Niall, Harry and Jasmine. Then my parents and then Louis and Lily. Liam and Lauren came after five minutes. Zayn's parents were there too. I saw him coming too.
"Where the fuck is she?" He asked, worried, also a tint of anger in his voice. All were clueless on what happened. They all started searching for me here and there.
"FIND HER." Liam shouted. "But what happened? I got a message from her to meet here." Lily asked confused about what was going on.
"I got the same message." Lauren said. "She messaged us all. Now fucking find her." Liam shouted.
I walked out of the rock and saw them all worried.
"I'm here." I declared and they all turned back and sighed together. "Sweetheart." My mom came running towards me. I stopped her. "Don't."
She stepped back in shock. "What happened, Sophia?" Harry asked, confused as everyone. Are they all playing around with me?
"Did you and Zayn get into a fight?" His mother asked. I stood there not answering to anything.
"You both were on a date that you waited for so long." Lauren said.
"And everything had to be perfect in your life." Dad stated like he already imagined my future to be good.
"But it was not." I looked at him. "Nothing was ever perfect from the start." I snapped at my father.
"What are you saying?" Niall asked, clueless of my sudden outburst.
"Tell me, Liam who's Stacy?" I walked to him. I wanted him to answer tonight. I have had enough. As soon as I took her name, the boys face went wide, Niall was still clueless though. Mom and dad had the same shocked expression and Liam stood there emotionless. They all know about her.
Was she a part of our group? A girlfriend of any guy? Liam, Zayn? Where is she now?
"Sophia, um.."
"Stop with this blabbering. Who the fuck is Stacy? What are you guys hiding from me? Why am I the only one left without being aware of that one secret you all share?" I roared. Tears fell down and I had no control over them.
"Who is Stacy?" Lily asked. "I don't know." Jasmine answered. Don't they know about her? If the guys know, lily should've known too, she was always with the guys.
"Why are you all speechless now?" Isn't this the right time, Mr. Liam Payne?" I crossed my arms across my chest. I waited for someone to speak up, to enlighten me with the truth. But all were silent. They all were fucking cowards.
"So, you don't wanna say?" I asked eyeing them all. "Niall will tell me." I walked to Niall. I know he won't hide it from me, I'm his best friend. He's the one I can rely on.
"He doesn't know about this." Harry opened his mouth. "What?" Niall asked, confused. "What is that I don't know?"
So they didn't share this with Niall? How can they do this? I thought I was the only one left out. These people are pathetic. I don't understand what is so bad about the secret. Does it have to do something with Niall too?
"Stacy is dead." I heard my mom speak. What. The. Fuck.
"She was your sister." She continued. "My daughter, Liam's younger sister." She took a pause and took a deep breathe.
"She was your twin."
What. The earth beneath my feet fell apart. Stacy is dead, she was my twin. I had a twin sister. Fuck. I am alive and my look alike, twin sister is dead.
"How?" I asked, stumbling with my own words. Tears were my best friend right now. They reminded me that I had so much pain inside me. I could cry a river right now. How could they not tell me about this? Why don't I remember about her! If she was my sister, my twin, I should've known her, but I don't remember having a look alike walking in the house of mine.
"In a car accident." Dad answered, not meeting his eyes with mine. The girls gasped. Don't they at all know about this?
"Where was I? Where were you both? where was Liam? Where were all of us when this accident took place?" I asked, I was angry, sad, I wanted to hurt someone, I guess them all for not saying this earlier. The rage inside me was killing me inside.
"You need to calm down." Liam begged me, taking a step closer to me. "Don't fucking ask me to calm down." I screamed. I don't care if I hurt anybody's feelings right now, because my own feelings are stabbing me in my heart.
"It was all dad's fault." Liam snapped. "He killed her." Tears started rolling down his eyes. I couldn't believe on whatever he was saying.
"You,Stacy and Dad were in a car, returning home from your dance classes when a drunk driver ran his truck in your car. Dad couldn't control the car and that lead to the accident."
I can't believe this. My dad was driving the car, I was in the car too, but only she died. She lost her life and I couldn't do anything to save her.
"Doctors tried to save her, but she gave upon her life. They said, it was internal bleeding and that she suffered from Traumatic Brain Injury. Your dad had major bruises on his leg and Face. While you..."
Mom stopped. She shut her mouth like she didn't wanted to speak anything further.
"And me?" I asked. Is there anything more worse than me losing my own twin? All of the sudden, everyone around me were scaring the shit out of me.
"You lost your memory." Dad declared. What !
"You forgot everything. Your childhood, your parents, you forgot me, you also forgot what happened to you. I lost Stacy in accident and I lost you this way." Liam explained, he was crying too.
All this happened and I never knew about this. I lost my memory. This is why I don't remember what I named my first barbie doll, who my best friend was when I was three or what was my favorite color.
I don't remember anything about my twin sister too.
"What was her age?" I asked, not concerned about my memory loss. I need to know about her. She was there all the time, with me, sharing the same blood, but I don't have any remembrance of her.
"Sixteen. She was six minutes older than you. You're suffering from Amnesia and so you don't even remember what she looked like and who she was." Mom cried and Trisha held her.
"Suffering? So I'm still not having any of the memory of my past?" I asked. Of course not. What an idiot I am. If I had any memory, I would have known who Stacy was.
They three nodded and at moment, I felt everything was over. I lost everything. Now it all makes sense, I don't remember my childhood, I don't have any memory of the accident. I don't fucking remember what was the last thing she ever told me.
I fell on the floor and lost all the emotions, I started crying harder. I couldn't take it, it felt like my heart was getting heavier as every second passed by. Niall came to me and held me, placing arms around my shoulder.
It was chaos in my head; I didn't know who I was, who she was. My memory was blurred, the past a fading dream and nothing to prove if it was real. I did not know anything and sat there all alone, yet surrounded with these people, with no hope, nothing but sadness and confusion to live with.
"You all knew about it. You all were aware about my memory loss." I cried even though I couldn't speak anything. "All this time, you guys were just my friend to show some sympathy."
"No. We never did that to you." Louis spoke. "Don't lie. You are all fake people. Liam, my parents, your boys and Zayn."
I looked up and saw him looking at me, his eyes covered in tears too. All my love for him was replaced with hatred. I hate it that I loved him. I hate it that he knew everything and he was with me just because of my sickness and all this time I thought he loved me. I hate it that I was stupid enough to believe his words, his actions when all this time, he was hiding the truth from me.
"Sweetheart, we did this for your good faith, to keep you safe." Dad walked to me and placed a hand on my arm.
"Don't touch me." I took my hand back and snapped at him. "Don't act like you care. I hate you. I regret that you're my father. You killed my sister, you hid the truth from me. You never told me about my memory loss. Just stay away from me." I howled.
I always loved him, he was my hero but tonight, I hate him. I hate that I ever loved him. Now I understand why Liam never liked dad. I always asked him to forgive dad without knowing what crime he committed. But now, I understand, dad is a killer. He could've saved Stacy, he could have saved me. But he fucking lost his control over the car. He should've let me die along with Stacy.
"Sophia, he is your dad." Mom snapped back at me. "And she was my sister. I fucking lost her. I lost each and every memory from my brain about her. I lost everything that I did in my childhood with her. All those happy times, her face, her laugh, her voice. I have no memory of her." I snapped. She had no fucking right to shout at me. "And you're the same. Even after losing your one daughter, tonight you lose me. I'm dead to you from this night."
She cried in Tricia's arms.
"Harry and Louis, I thought you both liked me, I thought I was a friend to you. But that was all a plan to make me feel good. You both knew about this. You knew about Stacy but you never told me about her."
"Liam asked us not too. He said he would tell you everything when the right time came and we never showed sympathy, we didn't stay with you because we knew what you were going through, we honestly love you for who you are to us right now, in the present and not for what you lost from the past."
"Save that, Harry."
I just cannot stand these people right now. They are all torturing my head. It seems like they are laughing at me, making jokes about me for being so weak and a cry baby. Of course they want me to die so that they can have a little less drama in their lives.
"How can you all hide it from her." Jasmine groaned. These girls knew nothing. Their own boyfriends hid this from them.
"Liam, tonight is the right time, now I get why you got angry every time when I brought this topic up." I cried. Niall was still by my side. "Your right time never came. Actually you never wanted me to know and don't just call dad a killer. You too are a killer. You killed me. You killed your own sister by keeping her in dark."
"Please d..don't s...say that." He stuttered. "I'm sorry." He cried.
"No, I'm sorry that I believed you all the time. All those pictures were in front of my eyes. The truth was in front of me. But I never understood and you never made efforts to tell me."
I recall every picture I saw in his album. The second girl, she was Stacy. Those two girls were me and her. We looked so similar, identical twins, maybe that is why it hurts even more, I get to live, I get to breathe, I get to carry the face same as her but she never did. I lost her. Actually, I lost myself.
None of them spoke.
I stood up and walked to the person who I labelled as my boyfriend, the one I truly loved. "Good play, asshole."
I just wanted to punch him on his chest to make him realize, what pain I'm going through right now. It's hard to breathe, I felt like I was wheezing.
He looked up, his eyes meeting mine, filling with the act of guilt. "You hated me all the time and you still do. The only difference is just that this is your game. You neither believed in love nor in me. This was all your fucking game."
How could I get fooled by him? I should've known, ZAYN MALIK would never fall for a girl like me, the one who always crushed his ego, his fame in front of everyone.
"Sophia. I love you." He spoke and took a step closer to me. I stepped back. I was so near to the edge of the cliff that I could fall anytime.
The same cliff, where he got all the fear our of me. Why couldn't he save me though? This was the same place where he made me believe in his words, like he was some different person I was meeting and he was only there to bring me back to life, but instead he started killing me slowly since that day.
"No, you don't." Tear fell down even more. "You knew about the secret, all this time. I shared every secret with you. But you never told me about this." I snapped at him. Before he could speak anything, I took one more step back.
"Zayn, you never asked me when was the first time I realized I was falling for you." I spoke. "The first time I realized I was falling for you, I had those feelings inside me that gave me the feels of sparkles, it was this place. The cliff." I paused. I gulped down my own tears. "The time when you saw life in me and thought I was worth a shot to have another chance. The time when you held my arm, it was the moment, I knew I fell for you."
Every memory was fresh from that day. "Isn't it ironic though, that the cliff I first felt something for you is the same place, I feel nothing right now. The love that once emerged inside me one this exact place, tonight is gone."
"No, Sophia. Please don't say that." I saw a tear fall down his eyes, the hazel one's, I always admired. It's all still a game.
"No, let me say it. You were an asshole, the douchebag who cared about no one but himself, how could you possibly fall for a girl like me? I should've known. I wasn't your type, not ever. Then why did you fucking play the game?" The last part came out with anger.
"Sophi..."
"No, don't Sophia me. Just stay away from me." I pushed him away.
My head pains. It burns. I can't take this anymore. I just want to sleep and never wake up again. I want to die. Go away from here, I don't want to stand with these people. I want to go to wherever the place Stacy is.
She was the girl I saw in my dreams when I was in hospital bed. She asked me to wake up again for my parents and for Liam but she herself gave upon her life. She asked me to live but she left her soul. I wish I could help her when she wanted to breathe. I wish I left the world and she go to survive.
"I'm sorry that I was a burden on you all. I'm sorry that I loved you all. I'm sorry that I trusted you all and thought I had the best dad and mom to love me." By this time, I was weak. I was barely breathing. "I'm sorry that I thanked God for blessing me with the best brother. I'm sorry that I loved all my friends."
I paused.
"And all of the above, I regret falling for someone like you." I looked at him. "I hate you, Zayn." I spoke, now sure about what I was really talking about.
"Goodbye all. Now you won't have to worry about me anymore. I won't be a burden anymore." I spoke. They all had a confused face. "Forget me, just like you forgot Stacy."
I stepped a final step back and lost the ground beneath me as I fell off the cliff. I jumped in the water to give up my life.
"SOPHIA." I last heard my name when I met with the water. I made it final to die. My body met with the water with a loud thud and the water filled inside my nose, I knew what was going to happen next and I was ready for it.
Goodbye everyone. Goodbye my parents, my friends, my brother and my love. Bye, life!
She committed suicide, she fucking jumped off the cliff. How could she do that? She just gave upon her life. The fuck was she thinking?
"SOPHIA." We all shouted and ran to the edge. I couldn't believe I lost my sister. I fucking let her go.
"ZAYN NO." I heard someone shout and then heard a splash in the water. He jumped off too. Zayn doesn't know how to swim, why did he jump off the cliff?
To save the one he loves.
But you let her go.
Damn, my mind.
I didn't know what to do. She was my sister, I couldn't let her do that.
We all ran down where the water flowed. She must be there. I can't let her die. She has to survive. She is a swimmer, she could swim to the rocks.
"David, she jumped off the cliff. We can't let her die. I want my daughter back." Mom cried when Louis and Niall jumped in the water too.
"You fucking killer." I ran to the person I hate the most. "She killed herself because of you." I slapped him. I slapped the person who was supposed to be my dad.
"Liam,no." Lauren stopped me before I could do anything else. I cried in her arms. "I lost her."
"She will be back, Liam. The boys jumped in the water to find her. She has to come back." Lauren tried to calm me down but it wasn't going to work. She knows it too, after this Sophia will never forgive me. She hates me, I should've saw this coming. How could I do this to her.
"ZAYN." I heard Aunt Tricia shout and when I looked up, I found Louis and Niall walking out of the water with an unconscious Zayn. He had his eyes closed, clothes all wet, hairs messed up.
"Zayn,wake up. Open your eyes. ZAYN." His dad gave him a CPR. No, he can't die. No. I ran to him. "Zayn." I shouted. He chocked the water out and finally opened his eyes.
He hugged his dad. "She's gone. She just left me. She jumped off the cliff and I couldn't save her. She left me all alone." He cried. "I cannot live without her."
Zayn lost his love. I lost my sister. We all lost the girl who meant something to everyone.
Louis and Niall came back after ten minutes, guilt covering their face.
"We can't find her." Niall cried under Aunt Tricia's arms.
No. She left. She died. The water killed her. She killed herself. I lost her too. I lost them both. Stacy and now Sophia.
She is gone !
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The END.
No, Sophia killed herself. She left everything behind. The first book ends here. Zayn, she left her love.
Liam, she left her brother.
She left her friends, parents everything.
There won't be any epilogue as there is a sequel to come. The book doesn't end here.
Love me and pray for the people who loved Sophia. #prayforsophia.
Bye, guys.
Wait for the sequel. It's called "the one that got away" the cover is up there, previously it was known as 'back to love' I made it.
Thanks for 5k reads. I hope you guys enjoy part two too. Wait for it to get published.