Daniel's P.O.V.
When I am walking to the café I feel my heart sinking lower and lower in ny chest. The beats are starting to slow down to a natural pace. Being without Joey is killing me. I crave his touch no, I need his touch. It is the only thing that ever left me happy. Joey was my happiness. I say was because he probably won't take me back now. He made that very clear.
You see, I can't give up too easily. Why? Because deep down inside there is a part of Joey that wants to forgive me. I know this because he said he still loves me. So that shows that a sliver of him wants to be back with me. I just am not quite sure how to make Joey come back to me.
I get in my car and start to drive. All of my memories so far in life flash before my eyes. The good. The bad. The horribly ugly. But the only time I even remotely crack a smile is when I start to think about everything me and Joey had. I say had because again, he made it very clear that he can't do that to himself again.
I wonder if Joey truly knows how insane this is driving me. I wonder if he thinks I am using him for thrill or something stupid like that. I think Joey always thought I loved him for the chase and mystery of the whole relationship. But in actuality, I loved Joey for Joey. I loved the way he could light up a room just by merely saying hello. I loved how even when I felt at my worst he could make me feel amazing. I loved how he smiled at my jokes even when I knew they were horrible. But most of all, I just loved, him. Not for any weird quirk or quork. I just loved him, for him.
True pain is when you look into the eyes of someone you love and they look away. They don't just turn their eyes away from you, they turn their heart and soul as well. Joey is showing me true pain. Because he is shutting me out and I really can't pull him back towards me. He has to decide to let me back into his life.
You know sometimes I think ending it all would be easier. You know saying goodbye in my opinion can be a lot easier than saying hello. Because once you say hello you are forever connected. But once goodbye slips between your lips you can walk away from everything, wipe the slate clean if you will. Joey, however, doesn't want to restart our slate. He wants to keep it wiped clean, forever empty.
If I had just ended it before I got a call to be a sub. If I had just walked out of this world a second earlier, I wouldn't have hurt him. I wouldn't have put him through hell just so I could find my heaven. I could have saved him a whole lot of stuff. He would probably be happier. And now, Joey may just be giving up on us.
But maybe you can never give up on love. Maybe you just get tierd of trying so you force yourself not to want it.
Maybe Joey is just tierd of trying...
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Authors Note:
I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far. Let me know! Also, the silver lining is starting to get heated up,if you know what I mean ;), so make sure to check it out. Thank you guys so so so much for reading this story. Hasta mañana <3