I still remember our one year anniversary, Benjamin.
God, how could I forget?
I remember waking up and practically running to the mailbox that morning. I loved how we were so old fashion, I loved reading your writing, I loved what you wrote to me. Benjamin, I just loved you.
I ran out into my garden in my nighty and picked up your letter, which had a pretty flower drawn on the front.
Your letter read:
Dear Ellie,
One year with you by my side.
One whole entire year.
Oh my God, I love you so much. I couldn't be happier.
I love when you wake up beside me and our legs are tangled, when you rub your sleepy eyes, when you're concentrating and get little frown marks on your forehead. I love when you kiss me because I'm rambling, I love when you smile and I love the way your eyes crinkle. I love how your hair doesn't always sit flat and how you carry yourself with pride.
God Ellie, don't you see? I'm so in love with you.
I love you Ellie. Happy one year. I love you so much.
But, here's the catch. Mum and Dad had to go to another town for a while. Maybe a week or two?
I left last night. God, I'm so sorry Ellie. I really wanted to be home for this and my letter definitely doesn't make up for my absence.
Please, hold on for a week, just for me. I'll make it up to you when I get home.
I hope you have a great day, I love you so much.
Benjamin.
It broke my heart, Benjamin, that you couldn't be there with me. But I love you.
I love you, present tense.
Nothing will ever change that.
I miss you so much Benjamin, but I still love you.
I just wish you knew that.