Firstly, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read HIGTB. For some reason, having 600 reads feels pretty special. I suppose it's because I never saw this story getting the attention of anyone but me. So thank you.
I was mostly awake, though my eyes were closed and my breathing remained slow. I was in a comfortable state as I passed into a stage of consciousness no longer allowing dreams, but keeping me sleepy. I was aware of Harry beside me, his leg against mine. I squinted my eyes in the early morning sunlight and saw him looking down at me with gentle eyes full of affection and adoration.
"Morning, love." Harry's hand slipped below the duvet and effortlessly found the hem of my shirt. He lifted it slowly and ran his hand across my back, feeling my skin that was hot from lying in bed.
"Morning," I mumbled.
"We haven't got any plans for tonight, have we?" He kept his hand moving against me. His fingertips were careful as they wandered the expanse of my back. I thought back to the night he spelled "I love you" on me over and over.
"No."
"I have friends in town for the evening. I haven't seen them in ages. They wanted to meet up with us for dinner tonight. Is that something you would want to do?"
To me, it was not even a question. Harry should see his friends before leaving on tour. "Of course," I nuzzled my head into my pillow and stifled a yawn.
"You sure? We could have another day in bed."
That was a tempting offer. Staying with Harry all day and just relaxing had been perfect. "No, we should go out. We definitely need some air."
"Tonight then," he smiled. Harry's hand stopped on my back and he just let his palm rest for a moment.
"Tonight," I repeated.
"We'll go to dinner and then can go back to doing this," Harry sank back down in bed and cuddled me into him.
The day moved slowly; it was perfectly dreamlike. We arrived back to Harry's townhouse with hours of morning left. He made lemon tea for us and I even coaxed him into sitting out on his balcony as we drank it. We walked through the park and I hardly noticed the photographers standing on the fringes of the grass with massive lenses following our every move. He tangled his fingers in mine and the rest of the world slipped away. I was lost with him.
____________
I picked a short body-con dress for dinner. I let my hair remain down and I darkened my makeup for the night out. Harry wore his standard black skinny jeans and a shirt with very few buttons fastened. He had showered and his hair glistened with the shine of whatever hair product he had used. As we stood side by side in the mirror we looked like an impressive pair.
"Ready, Kate?" Harry twirled his keys around his finger like he had in my dream. "Yeah," I nodded.
"You look really beautiful." He kissed my temple and flashed a big smile.
"Thank you," I bit my lip.
"Let's head out, yeah?"
"Yeah."
We got in Harry's black SUV and he pulled out onto the street. He picked a lane and sat back comfortably in his seat with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my knee. I realized I didn't know where we were going to dinner. I also didn't know which friends we were meeting.
"Tell me about these friends," I said quietly to Harry. "Have I met them before?"
"Uh," he thought for a moment. "You have met three of them. We'll be having dinner with Dominic and his boyfriend Lawrence. They're friends of mine I met through some of my charity work. They're a laugh. You met them at a charity event last summer."
"Dominic and Lawrence, okay." I made a mental note of the names.
"Grace will be there. She actually works for a magazine. You met her at a fashion show during Fashion Week here in London."
"Grace," I mumbled. "Dominic, Lawrence, and Grace. Any other friends?"
"One other. He's here for business, but insisted on joining us for dinner. We're all friends from working for the same charity. You're going to love them."
We finally got to the restaurant. Harry pulled up to the front and men in uniforms opened both of our doors. Harry waited for me to walk around the front of the car and handed the keys over to the valet. "Styles," he stated as one of the men took down his name to label his keys.
Harry took my hand as we walked inside. Savory smells filled the air and my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the restaurant. The walls were blood red and the floor was an impossibly dark hardwood. Small crystal chandelier's hung above every table.
"Hello, Mr. Styles. Mr. Lindblom's table is right this way." A woman wearing all black led us to the back of the restaurant.
A secluded table set for six was waiting. Three people sat around the table already, and I immediately noticed they were all male, leaving Grace not yet present. The men were engaged in an animated conversation.
"Harry!" One of them stood up.
"Hello," Harry greeted the table. He released my hand and caressed the small of my back.
"Hi," I said shyly.
"You look stunning, my dear," one of the men stood to give me a short embrace.
"Thank you," I beamed.
Harry pulled a chair out for me and I took a seat. He settled in the chair to my right. An empty chair remained to my left, presumably for Grace. The three men sat across from us. They already had glasses of their respective drinks. A bowl of bread centered the table.
"You look well, Kate," one of the men smiled at me. "Doesn't she, Lawrence?"
"Better than well," another man—apparently Lawrence—nodded in agreement. "She looks lovely."
Lawrence was a tall, neat man with deep brown eyes and a shadow of facial hair. He looked runway ready in a casual blue sport coat and perfectly styled hair. Lawrence's boyfriend, Dominic, complimented him well. Dominic had a messier hairstyle that looked exhausted from his hands running through it. He had a more youthful look about him with shifty hazel eyes and an ever-present smirk.
"Thank you," I smiled.
Harry gestured across the table, "This is Jens Lindblom, a very good friend of mine."
Jens stood up from the table slightly to reach for my hand. He shook my hand gently and then retreated to his seat. "How are you, Kate?"
"I'm well," I mumbled.
Jens Lindblom had the most dazzling icy blue eyes. They communicated for him with looks all their own. They were a pale blue, but not close to grey. He had light blond hair that was slicked back in a bun. He wore a crisp grey suit and pale blue dress shirt opened at the collar.
"Forgive me," Jens smiled. "I've just come from a business meeting. I don't normally arrive at dinner in such attire."
Jens Lindblom's charm was not reserved for his physical appearance. As he spoke, it became obvious that he was not from England. He had a mesmerizing accent from a Scandinavian country.
"Where are you from?" I attempted.
"Sweden," he smiled again. "Gothenburg, specifically."
I had heard of Gothenburg before. It was supposed to be a very beautiful city. "Ah," I nodded.
"I'm here in London for business. I own a company that is based in Gothenburg and London. I operate from Gothenburg and my business partner operates here. I have meetings this week."
Jens continued to explain the nature of his business and how he knew Harry. They were friends from charity events and from similar social scenes. I came to learn that Jens was twenty-four years old and already so accomplished. He was fascinating to listen to. He spoke coolly, like he knew more than he was giving off.
The chair beside me moved, and suddenly a girl was sitting in it. She turned to me with a wide smile. "How are you?" She kissed my cheek.
"I'm well." I forced a smile. "And you?"
"Fantastic! I'm thrilled we could finally get together!" Grace waved to the other men.
Grace set her Blackberry on the table and I tried to ignore its constant buzzing. She apologized for being late and said something about deadlines and pressure from her editor. Everyone nodded in understanding, but I was too busy taking her in. Grace had a slim figure and a glowing smile. Her hair was a memorable shade of auburn and was styled perfectly, even after her busy workday. Her fingernails were painted a shade of maroon and she wore multiple silver rings on her fingers.
Ordering food and the conversation that followed was a blur. The group took turns fast-talking with pauses only for a fit of laughter. Dominic was animated when he spoke, Lawrence had a smooth laugh, Grace's Blackberry kept vibrating, and Jens kept flitting his sparkling eyes around the group in an engaging way. But really the only thing I could focus on was Harry. He pulled my hand onto his lap under the table and flipped it so my hand rested palm side up against his thigh. His fingers began a slow tease on the bit of tender skin on the underside of my wrist below my charm bracelet. He alternated between drawing slow circles and just rubbing the skin gently.
"You're quiet tonight," Dominic looked at me. "Tell us, are you worried about Harry leaving."
I felt guarded around these people I was just now meeting. I looked from face to face trying to put my emotions into careful words. Harry's fingers never even slowed down to let me think. "I am not worried, but I am excited for him. Being away will be hard, obviously, but I want this for him. Performing is what he loves."
"Such a match, aren't they?" Grace cooed.
"A handsome pairing," Jens nodded with a soft smirk on his face.
I looked over at Harry to see his reaction. His eyes had fallen to his fingers and my wrist. The edges of his mouth twitched up in the beginning of a smile. The tops of his cheeks had reddened. Finally, his mouth gave way and his lips split in a wide, heart-stopping smile.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her coming. It was her appearance that made me notice her first. She wasn't dressed like the rest of the people at the restaurant. Her hair was swept back in a messy ponytail and she wore a hoodie and black jeans. She was holding her phone in her hand upright with the back camera aimed at us.
"Harry," I whispered.
"Yeah?"
I pointed to the girl.
The girl kept walking toward us with a determined look on her face. Her eyes were glued to Harry and her face was beginning to form a smile. She raised the phone higher and that's when the flash went off.
"Hey," Harry furrowed his eyebrows and blinked at the flash.
"Hi, Harry," the girl said nervously. She kept taking photos. Her phone made a sound and flashed along with each photo. "You're my absolute sunshine. I love you so much."
Harry shifted his seat so he was blocking me from the camera. "That's very nice of you, but I am with friends. Please, no photos."
Jens and Lawrence stood up from the table. Jens politely asked the girl to leave Harry alone and to stop taking photos. Lawrence found a waiter to help clear the girl away.
Everything happened so quickly. A girl approached. Her camera was flashing. Jens was asking her to leave. Harry was telling her not to be rude. A waiter was guiding her to the doors. Everyone settled back at the table.
"My apologies, Mr. Styles." The waiter returned to the table with guilty eyes. "We have put more security at the front of the restaurant."
"Don't apologize, mate. I'm sorry if she bothered other people."
The waiter gave a curt nod and disappeared into the back of the restaurant again. Jens said something sarcastic that caused Lawrence, Dominic, and Grace to laugh. I missed what he said because a warm hand had taken my wrist again and fingertips had resumed their movements.
"Are you all right?" Harry whispered in my ear.
"Hmm?" I said dreamily, lost in his fingers on my wrist again. It was the tiniest things Harry did that really got to me.
"The flashing lights of the camera," he explained. "Did that bother you? You know, headaches and everything."
"No, I'm fine," I whispered back.
"I'm so sorry." He kissed my cheek.
Had Harry always been this apologetic for things he couldn't control? He was always so worried about me and how I felt. I wished there was a way I could tell him he didn't always need to apologize to me.
"Harry," Grace started. I wondered if she was going to address her still-vibrating Blackberry at any point. "Does that happen a lot?"
"Yes." His tone and expression were unreadable.
"Does it bother you?" Grace pressed.
"Uh," he hesitated. "I love seeing our fans around and it's really special to me when they compliment me or tell me that I mean a lot to them. But it does get a bit exhausting when I can't go places because of fans or get approached at inappropriate times."
"Does it get stressful meeting fans?" Grace asked.
"I used to get quite nervous when I was younger," he paused. "It can feel a bit overwhelming, you know?"
"Has it always felt that way?"
"Grace," Harry chuckled, "why do I feel like you're always interviewing me for one of your articles?"
Grace giggled, "Harry, I'm a fashion writer. Unless it has to do with the designers you're wearing on red carpets, I'm not going to write an article about you and make millions giving away all your secrets."
"As long as you promise," he teased.
"I promise!" she laughed.
Harry's face changed entirely. His smile disappeared and his eyes lost their happy glow. He looked distant and reflective. "I suppose it hasn't always been that way. There was definitely a time when I stopped caring altogether about what fans thought of me. I get dozens of people walking up to me every day asking for photos or just saying hello. On tour, we meet hundreds of people a day. For a time, I was numb to anything they said."
"Why was that?" Grace asked.
"I started realizing that the people following me around and standing in line for hours to meet me weren't even interested in the real me. Most of them are only interested in who they think I am. So I sort of stopped caring."
"What changed that?" Dominic asked.
Harry's fingers stopped rubbing my wrist and his hand slipped down to meet mine. He enclosed my smaller hand in his larger one and gave it a soft squeeze. "Someone had to remind me that the world is a beautiful place and people are good."
Just after our food arrived, Harry stood up from the table. His phone had started ringing and he gave everyone a quick apology. He stepped away from the table and disappeared toward the front of the restaurant. I knew he wouldn't have left the table if it weren't important.
"You are a magician, Kate," Jens smiled at me.
"I don't follow," I said quietly.
"You have worked magic on Harry."
That didn't sound like a good thing at all. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"I first met Harry nearly two years ago. His hair and his temper were both much shorter than they are now," Jens laughed with the other at the table.
"Oh," I chuckled nervously.
"Harry was a polite guy, but he had a careless streak that was very off-putting. He was careless like a child. He embodied the 'act now, think later' mindset. The longer I was around him, the clearer it became that we were not seeing the whole picture. He would act one way around me, and then I would hear stories of him acting a different way elsewhere. No one was getting the full Harry Styles Experience."
"He was very guarded," Dominic interjected.
"Right," Jens nodded. "It was like he was saving part of himself for someone else. It made me wonder just what we were missing out on. It was the ultimate mystery. Until one day, you came along."
"Me?" I nearly whispered.
"Don't sound so surprised, Kate," Grace patted my knee. "When you came along, it was like all the puzzle pieces fell together and we could finally see Harry for who he was. Harry is kind, loving, free-spirited, thoughtful, and compassionate. He is not reckless, crude, and irresponsibly careless like everyone had thought. You changed him for the better. Something about you helped refine Harry and make him the exceptional person he is now."
I was speechless. My fingers knotted together in my lap and I tried not to blush. It was powerful to hear the influence I had on Harry from people who knew him well—people he called his friends. I had no idea the effect I had on Harry and part of me knew that I would still have been oblivious to that fact had my memory not been lost.
"When you came round," Lawrence smirked. "Harry began really smiling again. When I saw it, I remember thinking that I had never seen so many of Harry's teeth before."
The table erupted in laughter as the chair beside mine slid out and Harry seated himself again. "Sorry about leaving. I had a call from Henry. Something funny?"
"You have really good friends," I smiled.
Jens raised his glass to Harry briefly and took a sip.
____________
Harry opened the car door for me and I got out. He intertwined his fingers with mine as we made our way from his car to the front door of his townhouse. The street was quiet and the air was mild. I looked skyward and longed to see the stars that the lights of London were concealing.
"So you like my friends?"
"Loved them," I hummed. "They're all so nice."
"Good," he slowed his pace.
"What did Henry want?" I had wanted to ask earlier, but not in front of everyone else.
"He was just telling me what time I'm leaving the day after tomorrow." Harry's voice had fallen to a near whisper.
"What time?" I tried to hold back any emotion.
"Nine in the morning."
A sting of pain coursed through me. Having an actual time determined for his departure made everything feel a little more rushed. I slowed down our walking even more and held Harry's hand a little tighter. I wanted to soak up every moment of the night.
We approached the small gate around the front of his townhouse and he reached to release the latch. Something flashed through my mind and I felt a surge of warmth. I let out a laugh.
"What is it?" Harry looked over at me.
"I just remembered something funny," I giggled more.
"Tell me," he smiled.
"I don't remember when it happened, but I remember walking up to this gate with you after a date. At least I think it was a date. I was wearing a dress and you had on a blazer. And we walked up to this gate to go to your house. When you unlocked the gate, you looked at me and said, 'I'm inviting you up to my house, but I don't want you to think I have bad intentions.'"
Harry let out a loud laugh. "That was the first time I asked you to my house after a date. You had been there before, but only during the day one other time. We just came back from the cinema and I was nervous about bringing you up because I didn't want you to assume I had anything planned...you know."
"Well I hope you don't have any bad intentions tonight because I'm quite tired," I giggled.
____________
I went to bed without feeling the least bit tired. I should have been ready to sleep, but knowing exactly how many hours I had until Harry would leave made me want to stay awake. I didn't want to miss any moment with him.
I tried my best to stay perfectly still in bed. If I showed any signs of being awake, Harry would never sleep. I thought it best to let him sleep because he needed it. So I turned on my side and listened until Harry's breathing slowed down and he began softly snoring.
This is it, I thought. This is the beginning of the end.