♡ chapter 13 - Harry ♡
I screwed up.
This is a well-known fact I've come to live with the past two days Louis has been utterly avoiding me. Spending more time with Jessie and less time glancing at me when we pass each other in the hallways the rare occasion he's out of the room. I've taken a full hatred towards that lumpy couch in the living room, but begging Louis for forgiveness has gotten me nowhere, so I've learned to live with the piece of shit.
Harry Styles; not a beggar. But what has Harry Styles been doing the past two days? Kissing Louis' fucking feet. Not only have I attempted to make him breakfast one morning, but I've also gone out and bought him another bag of those fucking M&Ms he loves. Has food gotten me anywhere close to being forgiven? Not at all. But Harry Styles is also another thing (no, not an asshole although that fits the shoe perfectly), and that's determined.
So you can bet Louis damn M&Ms I'm not giving up on him.
Currently everyone is outside, practicing their self-defense moves and such. Jessie has been helping Louis with the sword the past couple of days in order to get some strength in that petite body. We all know Marcus is closer and closer to catching our trail, and we all know our time is limited. There's only so many more seconds before he strikes and gets what he wants; Louis.
Well, sorry jackass but you aren't getting my man.
Standing up to my father has never been a thought that's crossed my mind, but it's the inevitable bound to happen. I can already picture the angry expression that will conceal his features when I refuse to hand Louis over, but he'll have to build a bridge and get the fuck over it. I don't care if he's the sperm that created me (sometimes I wish he never had), but he's not getting the only thing I care about in this horrid place we call a world. And if protecting Louis gets me killed, I guess I'll just meet him in the afterlife.
Puffing out air from my cheeks, I heaved a hand through my hair and tried to decipher the feelings running through my veins. None of them made any damn sense to me, but I wouldn't stop trying to depict each and every one of them just so I can find a way to explain it all to Louis. Maybe then he'll finally forgive my stupidity and hopefully take back whatever we used to have.
Friendship?
Although that's far from how I would put it, I can't think of any other word that would match our sporadic relationship. It's not like we're dating, but it's not like we're friends, either. I'm uncertain of the proper pinpoint, but I know there's a fine line between the two where we'd fall under.
My eyes flickered back out the window where Jessie was teaching Louis defense moves. But the position I found them in made me grind my teeth together and clench my fists; Louis' front was pressed against a tree as Jessie pinned an arm behind his back, his face close to his neck. I felt like I could yank my hair out from the anger coursing through me, but I squeezed my fists tighter together to hold back the urge, dismissing the indentions my nails were leaving in my palms.
Finally having enough of being cooped up in the house, I ignored the fact that Louis wanted me to stay away from him. Although I've been doing pretty damn good at keeping distance, I couldn't stop myself from storming outside. I wouldn't talk to him, not unless he spoke to me, but I can't keep putting so much space between us. It's driving me closer and closer towards the depths of insanity, as if I hadn't reached that point.
Walking across the clearing towards Zayn and Louis, I caught Louis glancing at me just the slightest. Sucking in a sharp breath, I fought the urge to look over at him as I made my way to the boys who were practicing their skills. None of them were blessed with the ability to shoot fire out of their hands, so most of them fought with weapons. I used to think that was pathetic, but now I kind of envy them. Aggression sometimes overpowers my mind to where I can't contain the power inside of me. It's a blessing and a curse to be capable of so much.
Licking my lips before pressing them tightly together, I folded my arms across my chest and acted as if I were observing the training before me. Zayn had Nick in a current headlock, but Nick had managed to twist around and take control of the situation. They both went back and forward, each of them trying to dominate the other. Zayn had managed to sweep Nick's legs out from beneath him, but Nick was quick to act and snatched up his sword. The two began skillfully training.
My eyes darted over to Jessie and Louis, watching as Louis whipped the sword around. Part of me was praying he'd slice Jessie's head off, as gruesome as it sounds, but no such thing happened as he held significant power over the weapon. His agility surprised me some, considering it was his first time holding a weapon that big.
"Oi! Why are you hanging around, Styles? Grab a sword and get to training, mate!" Niall called with a bit of a snicker, nodding over towards Louis. It took me a minute to grasp that he wanted me to go over and train Louis instead of Jessie.
Damn, you gotta love that Irish boy.
He just gave your pathetic ass hope, Styles.
Smiling just the slightest in Niall's direction, I trudged over to the weapon rack and lifted a decent sized sword, one I tended to use the rare occasion I would train with the others. They did it routinely in order to stay in shape, which I didn't doubt was a good idea. However, when you're on the run constantly like me, you get your daily exercise fairly easily without having to actually try. The fact that your life is on the line if you get caught is enough motivation to keep running.
Jogging over to where Jessie and Louis were, I bumped Jessie's shoulder with mine. "I got this, lad. Niall needs help with his swing."
Jessie furrowed his eyebrows at me as I tried to avoid Louis' death glare. He didn't seem to be buying it, but he glanced over my shoulder and (praise that Irish lad) found Niall waving at him for help. Jessie huffed. "Sorry, Louis, but I gotta go help Niall. The boy is so airy sometimes."
Louis didn't speak as Jessie jogged off, glaring at me in the process. I didn't care as a victorious smirk overtook my features, my eyes glancing back to meet Louis' unamused ones.
"I know you did that on purpose," he muttered under his breath. "I'm not fighting with you, nor am I standing here in your presence one moment longer."
He went to spin and walk off, but I gripped his wrist to halt him before yanking my hand back and cursing under my breath at the burn. "Wait, Louis. Just... please, just let me explain?"
Louis gave me a look. "Explain that you were always planning to toss me away to a psychopathic killer? I think that explains it just fine."
"Louis, dammit!" I groaned as he began to saunter off again, but I jogged after him. "Would you please just listen to me?"
Louis narrowed his eyes at me, but said nothing.
"Thank you," I grumbled as I heaved a hand through my hair, forcing myself to meet his expectant gaze. "Look, I was going to trade you, but it was for a reasonable cause, I swear." He opened his mouth to speak, but I held my hand up to halt him. "I really don't want to get into that right now. Anyways, I was going to trade you, yes. But have I done it yet? No. Are you still here? Yes. So technically... you have no right to be mad because I've done nothing wrong."
Smooth, Styles, you fucking idiot.
"Are you serious, Harry? Really?" he hissed as his stern eyes met mine. "I was minding my business in those damn woods and you popped out of nowhere, nearly choked me, then you just invited me onto your little 'journey.' I guess I was too fucking naïve to notice or even think about this little journey of yours, but God... I'm so... Ugh, I'm still so frustrated!"
Stop thinking about how cute he is when he's mad, Harry. That's wrong.
"Louis, I'm sorry, all right? But I'm not giving you to Marcus, nor am I letting him take you. Can you trust me on that?" I asked stupidly, stepping closer to him but keeping a generous distance to where I wouldn't catch on fire.
Louis sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I don't know, Harry. I don't know if I can trust you, but I guess I forgive you."
A small smile graced my lips. "With forgiveness comes trust, right?"
"Not at all, asshole."
"Fair enough."
Louis bit his bottom lip as he glanced down at the sword in his hands, then back up at me. I fought the urge to cup his face in my hands, knowing I'd lose my hands if I were to do something so idiotic. But the sensation to kiss him continued to grow in the pit of my stomach the longer he stared at me, his big blue eyes causing a bubbling to form inside me, one I've never felt before. I hated the effect he had on me, yet I adored it all the same.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked quietly.
"You just did," I teased as I sat on the grass, Louis mimicking my actions.
"I'm being serious," he muttered, chewing his bottom lip.
I leaned back on my palms, frowning when I took in his concerned features. "What is it, Louis?"
Louis sucked in a sharp breath before letting out in a loud exhale. "I just... I don't get why Marcus is after me. I get that he knows I was with you, but just for a sidekick ? Doesn't that seem a bit extreme when he could get some random guy from the streets?"
Pursing my lips, his question was clear even though it wasn't direct. I hadn't thought of why Marcus wanted Louis, honestly. The fact he needed a sidekick and my payment were enough to convince me to snag him. But I hadn't looked too deep into it, and now my own mind was sparking questions.
"You know, Louis... I really don't know," I murmured as I looked at him. "All he said was he wanted a helper and I'd get my reward."
He looked at me with hopeful eyes I knew all too well.
I smirked. "I'm not telling you, Louis."
Louis groaned. "Please, Harry! If you were going to exchange me for whatever this is, could you at least tell me what you were going to trade me for? I mean, it's only simple logic that I should know."
"Is it?" I chuckled, licking my lips before pressing them together. A sigh soon erupted from me, followed by Louis' eyes boring into the side of my face. "All right," I muttered, "but you can't tell anyone, deal?"
"Harry, we aren't five year olds sharing information about your secret candy stash in your desk."
"We fight like five year olds, so the least we can do is act like them, Lou. Pinky-promise?"
I was joking, of course. For one, Louis couldn't touch me. For two, pinky-promises are the stupidest shit I've ever heard of. They don't keep your promises, nor do they keep your secrets. One pinky-promise fail has been enough for me to learn to keep my mouth shut with my secrets inside. The less people know, the more of an advantage I have to manipulate them. Not that I've been controlling Louis. Fuck, he's too independent and defiant for that shit. But people tend to listen to orders easier to know you have no weaknesses. So by spilling secrets, I would be vulnerable to everyone around me and that's the last thing I want.
"I won't tell, Harry," Louis said, a bit more serious this time. "You have my word."
I gave him a small smile of gratitude before leaning back against the tree, parting my lips to speak. I fumbled on the words, however, my mind unused to this situation of spilling secrets or any information about me. I've never had a person to confide with, but some odd connection between us told me loud and clear I had his full trust, and I believed in that voice.
But a backstory was needed for his to understand.
"My mother was a White Witch... clearly, since Jessie was the lucky one to capture her well-being," I started quietly, Louis' eyes still piercing a hole through my face as he listened intently. It was weird to have someone listen to me speak, but nice all the same. I moistened my lips before looking towards the sky. "She was always so good to me, even though I was pure evil. The Council tried to take me away but... she just wouldn't let them. She loved me like she loved Jessie and I thought that was something incredible... to be loved for who you are."
"But my father was an utter asshole, always pushing her around and crap like that. I hated seeing her so broken when she was telling me to be strong, so I stood up to him one day." I swallowed, feeling my throat tighten up. "He... he killed her one day while I was at school. Came home to a bloody living room, not even the slightest trace of her or Marcus in sight. Jessie came in after me, just as shocked as I was. But he... he blamed me for being part of it. He said I knew what Marcus was planning and I was the one who let it happen. I loved my mother more than I loved anything in the world, Louis. I swear on my life I'd never laid a violent hand on her."
Fuck, don't cry Harry. You cry, you lose.
I sucked in a sharp breath, blinking rapidly to hold back the emotions I've been keeping in for so long. Thank God it worked, and I was able to finish with a quiet, "Jessie still thinks it's my fault. Hence why we hate each other so much, but Marcus... he promised to give me Mum's necklace in return for well... you..."
Louis' eyes looked that of pity, a look I've never received but still hated. I don't deserve to be pitied or sympathized. Part of my life, I believed Jessie when he said it was my fault. I don't know how, but I did admit it a small way that Mum's death had always been partly my fault. I was evil. My blood cells said enough about it. My actions even proved those statements further. I was never good at anything but being aggressive, so maybe... just maybe... I had a small sliver of doing in Mum's death.
How? I have no damn clue, but I'll blame myself anyway since I wasn't there to save her.
"Don't look at me like that," I muttered as I tore my eyes away from his.
Louis frowned. "Like what?"
"Like you pity me. I don't like it."
"I-I'm sorry, but I can't help it, Harry. That's... that's an awful thing to go through. Do you want me to laugh?" he muttered sarcastically.
I shrugged. "It's better than being pitied, Louis. If you want to laugh in my face, go the fuck ahead because I honestly don't care anymore."
Louis narrowed his eyes. "Stop being so negative, Harry. That's why you're such an asshole because you're so pessimistic. Where's the optimism?"
"I never had any," I grumbled as I continued to avoid eye contact.
Louis let out a sigh of defeat, clearly trying to make me feel better but my asshole-ness got in the way. It was silent for a long moment while I relished over the fact that I'd actually opened up to someone. Sure, it wasn't much, but now Louis knows one of my weaknesses. And while I doubt he'll ever have a chance to use it against me, it scared me nonetheless. I don't like being vulnerable.
"Harry, can I ask you one more thing?" Louis finally asked quietly, breaking the tensed silence.
"Hit me."
All it took were those seven words to leave his lips for my body to stiffen immediately, "What was so important about the necklace?"
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