"Let's just keep it this way, alright?"
"I wouldn't want anything else. But you do understand that that kind of thing isn't possible anymore."
"Wish it was."
"And the same goes for me."
Words exchanged between the two echoed in the fields that they currently lay in. A crisp bright blue sky above and luscious green grass below, the place was a calming escape from reality. Reality was full of faults and sad things, but here, reality didn't seem to exist. It truly was their tiny, happy paradise. With her head on his chest and his arms behind his head, they could afford to be with each other.
He was going to be assigned to that mission. To discover why Shinigami were disappearing, leaving only their clothes behind. Though most said it was just a Hollow, there were rumors floating around that it could be something more than that. She refused to believe it, despite the feelings inside her, nagging her to realize that it was true. She couldn't hang to fantasies forever, no matter how much she truly wanted too. It simply couldn't be done; she knew the harsh reality of what could happen. Shinigami could and would eventually die. It came in the job description.
"You understand, right? That we won't be able to be together now," Words she wished had never escaped past those lips of his. But she nodded, regardless, hand tightening its grasp on his shirt with mixed emotions. He felt the movement and closed his eyes. He had expected her reactions, expected every damn last one of them. Though she was never one for tears, she would cry her eyes out and scream for him not to do this. She would react the same as if he would tell her he was leaving her. But he wasn't, it was just a dangerous mission, where everyone who had been sent to investigate would die in the end. He didn't know if he would, and prayed he wouldn't.
"I do. Are you sure you have too? Can't you just make a different Captain do it?" She knew that would be horrible to do; they didn't do anything wrong. And here she was suggesting to push the mission on some other poor soul who probably didn't deserve it. She felt despicable, like a truly bad person for saying that, but she didn't want him to go. She couldn't let him go.
"I have to go, no matter what," He said to her, almost coldly, though he regretted speaking to her like that when he felt his chest become damp with tears. He opened his eyes, suddenly remembering something from earlier that week. "I want to know... Could you do me one last favor before I leave?"
"What is it?" Her voice sounded broken and a little desperate, as if the world was crashing around them and she had lost all hope of surviving the disaster. Which, she had in this case. "What do you want me to do?"
"I saved a boy once, in the outskirts of the Soul Society. He looks like he might become an amazing Shinigami one day... I want you to find him and stick with him. Got it?" He asked, recalling the boy's name. "He said his name was Shuuhei, Hisagi. It's not a common name, so he shouldn't be hard to find."
"Hai, I will find him..." She lifted her head and claimed his lips, not breaking away until she felt like she would faint due to the lack of oxygen in her system. He had placed a hand on her cheek, which she leaned into. The feeling of his skin was calming, so relaxing... Did it really have to disappear? Reopening her closed eyes, she gazed down at him. "As the last favor between the two of us, I will... Kensei."
He only smiled a little back at her, ignoring the tears that fell from her eyes onto his cheeks. "Arigatou..."
~~~=o=~~~
That was last conversation between the two of them. He had disappeared that night, along with several others, ranks including a few other Captains and Vice Captains, had also vanished. That was just about 100 years ago. It was old news, in the past, done and over with. But she couldn't make herself move on; it was too painful for her. She couldn't abandon Kensei, even though he was gone. And she knew she shouldn’t dwell in the past; he wouldn't have wanted that.
If there was one thing she knew he would have wanted of her, it was to fulfill his last favor to her. Find Shuuhei, Hisagi... the boy he had saved 100 years ago. And it was 100 years of searching, until she finally found him. It would have been hard not to notice him; the familiar number 69 was printed on his cheek. She could tell that he had clearly looked up to Kensei for having been saved by him. His admiration is what had allowed him to stand out to her.
When she first saw him, he was talking to another group of Shinigami, which turned out to be students in the Shinigami Academy. He was giving them advice, gesturing every so often. But she knew about Hisagi long before he appeared in Squad 9. He had become famous as a failing student in the Academy, unable to pass the final exam several times. It wasn't he was admitted through without having to finish the final exam due to his massive strength. He was apprenticed under Captain Tousen in Squad 9 until the betrayal of Squad 5's Sosuke Aizen, Squad 3's Ichimaru Gin, and Squad 9's Kaname Tousen.
Ever since then, Hisagi had taken over the responsibility of Squad 9 and its News Paper. He was also in charge of filing the reports for every Squad, which was a monstrous responsibility. She knew all this about him and his life, but still couldn't bring herself to talk to him. Even though those 100 years had come and gone, her broken heart was still not fully recovered. She thought it might never be.
"What the hell are you doing, Nathalie?!" An annoyed, impatient voice demanded from behind her suddenly, making her jump. Spinning on her heel, she found that the voice's owner was the Vice Captain of the Squad she was now currently in, Ikkaku. By his aggravated expression, she had the feeling that this wasn't a typical meet-and-greet.
"Hai?" She squeaked out, unnerved by the sheathed sword that was right in front of her nose. Despite the fact that she was relatively used to the threatening actions of the Vice Captain, she was never always calm around him. "What did I do?" By this point, she had noticed that Hisagi and the Shinigami Academy students had turned to see what was happening.
"You've got an assignment."
"Eh?"
"Hollows are lose in the Human's World. It's your job to go clear 'em out," Ikkaku ordered, moving his sheathed sword from her nose to over his shoulder. When she didn't move for a minute, he gave a glare and an angry smirk. "Ya got a problem with it or something?!"
She put up her hands defensively, chuckling nervously. "N-nah, I'm going!" She said before turning on her heel and fleeing, but not before looking back at Ikkaku and sticking her tongue out at him. "Baldy!" You can bet that she hightailed it out of there fast after shouting that at her Vice Captain. One thing she had noticed before she had fled was that Hisagi was chuckling to himself, grinning at her retreating figure.
~~~=o=~~~
"Get back here! Teme!" Was the shout that Nathalie gave as she chased the last Hollow she was assigned to take down. It was running blindly, trying to escape the Shinigami on its tail. She waved her fist at it angrily, not in the mood for a wild game of tag. Of course, the Hollow had thought otherwise, and insisted on making her run all around town after it.
"Ha!" Somebody shouted as they came down from above, slashing down on the Hollow mask. The Hollow cried out as it disappeared, revealing the one who had swooped in and attacked it. To her surprise, Hisagi stood there, a hardened expression on his face. It reminded of her own tough exterior, which was quite different from the softer personality that was held inside. When he spotted her, the expression faded away into a softer one, as he headed over to her. "Oi, you okay?"
"H-hai..." She nodded, and then realized that that was the first word she had ever said to the boy. The boy that Kensei had told her to find. She imagined this moment so many times over, yet this one the one coincidence that she did not think of. "What are you doing here?"
"I was given the assignment of sending a few lost souls back to the Soul Society. I saw you chasing that Hollow and thought I should give you a hand." He explained, sheathing his sword in the process. She could tell that he was being honest, yet something was nagging her that that wasn't the whole story. "I believe we haven't met yet."
That last sentence made her look up, a little stunned and surprised. She looked down at his out-stretched hand, waiting for her to shake it in greeting. He looked up at his face, feeling a little pink rise to her cheeks at the smile on his face.
"My name is Shuuhei, Hisagi. I'm Vice Captain of Squad 9."
"My name is Richter Nathalie. Squad 11, 9th Seat."
She grasped his hand firmly, nodding to him and smiling back. She finally met the boy Kensei had saved, but what she didn't expect was the things that would happen with the two of them over the next few months.
~~~=o=~~~
Time passed by slowly, but despite its sloth-like movement, Nathalie could not help but feel a change inside her. It only happened when she saw him or thought of him, but she knew what it was doing to her. Hisagi, whether he himself knew it or not, was being to repair the damage left in her heart. Though the process was inching along slowly, she could feel it mending itself whenever he smiled at her. Everytime she heard his voice, the crack in her heart was further stitched up.
Her hard stare became slightly softer, her laugh and smile became more real. She was turning into a different person now, all thanks to one person. The one thing she didn't understand that was happening to her was the fact that she felt herself becoming attracted to Hisagi. This both elated her and frightened her, each having their own reason behind the feeling. She was happy because she really did come to love Hisagi. But on the other hand, she didn't think she could love anyone else other than Kensei. She felt like she was betraying him by falling in love with someone else now, even if that love had ceased to exist 100 years ago.
These conflicting feelings burned in her mind and heart, she couldn't decide on what to do. She knew Hisagi felt the same way, considering he had made several moves to show that he did in fact care and did in fact want her. The only thing that stood between them was the uncertainty of letting go of the past. Was she really betraying Kensei by moving on? And could she really move on after that tragic experience so long ago?
To figure this out, she decided to pay a visit to an old place on the outskirts of the Soul Society. A crisp bright blue sky above and luscious green grass below, the place was a calming escape from reality. Reality was full of faults and sad things, but here, reality didn't seem to exist. Here, she could reflect on things and think. Here she would be able to make the choices that were eating away at her heart.
"Oi, you here, Nathalie-kun?" A voice asked her, echoing slightly around the open area.
Her escape from reality did not last long, however, when a presence appeared in the field. The familiar reiatsu sent red to her cheeks, his familiar face looked down at her from where she lay on the grassy ground, brown hair melting into the surrounding green stalks of vegetation. She stared up at him, unsure if she should say anything to him. Was this love really okay? Could Kensei forgive her? Wasn't he the one that told her to stick with Hisagi? Did he ever foresee the outcome of them falling in love with each other? What would he want?
"Hisagi-kun..." Her voice sounded unsure in her own ears, she was sure that her chocolate colored eyes also shined with uncertainty. "Can you do me a favor?"
Hisagi looked down at her, softly dropping to his knees in order to get closer to her. His eyes stared back into hers, and he nodded at her. "What is it?" He placed his hand in hers quietly, and felt her fingers intertwine with his. "What do you want me to do?"
"Kiss me, tell me that everything we do... everything we are... is alright," She whispered to him. He looked a little thrown-off by the odd request but didn't go against it. His agreement was wordless, and she closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss she knew was coming.
Shifting himself from where he sat on his knees, he maneuvered himself to sit on her waist. Though she initially expected him to just focus on her lips, she didn't expect him to bite down on her neck as hard as he did. The fingers that she had intertwined with his tightened their grip as she did her best to remain quiet. Of course, he wasn't making it easy for her. His hands were traveling, eventually even making their way underneath her shihakusho. His lips caressed her skin with his warm breath and his teeth bit at her skin. She could hardly breathe; thoughts and questions flooded her mind.
Why was he so rough all of a sudden? All it did was remind her more of how Kensei used too act and how he would kiss her. The two were practically the same in the instance; rough, but at the same time, pleasing. Occasionally, he would seize her lips with his in several prolonged kisses, but he also seemed to prefer to move his lips elsewhere. She didn't mind this at all. She knew now, deep in her heart, that this was truly okay. Kensei did understand that her falling in love with Hisagi was unavoidable, bound to happen. He told her about Hisagi, knowing full well what could happen.
Now, here she was, in that field. Even though she was with someone else, she did not care. This was their escape from reality, their paradise. Here was the place she wished she would never have to leave, she wanted to stay here forever, surrounded by the love of both Kensei and Hisagi.
Arigatou... Kensei, Hisagi... She smiled to herself.