Every end is a new beginning.
•••••
*Julie's Pov*
KNOCK KNOCK
"Coming!!" I yell dreading every footstep to the door.
I open the door to see my Mother with a wide smile and my younger sister Anna with a little basket full of chocolates.
"Julie!! I missed you so so much." My mom literally screams in excitement and takes me into an embrace.
"Hey Mum. Hey Ann." I say after she lets go off me.
Nancy appears at the door to welcome them in. She looks beautiful even in her casual tee shirt and a pair of jeans.
"Hello." Nancy says to my Mom, fully stressed.
"Hello dear." Mom says smiling at her. "You look beautiful as always dear."
A quick smile crosses Nancy's face but she soon enters her stress mode. I look at her and give her an assuring smile saying that everything will be okay. Though, I myself don't know if everything is going to be okay.
Ms. Khanna and kids come out of the bedroom to greet my Mom and sister. Mom dislikes Ms. Khanna because of her drug addiction in the past. So, she fakes a smile and takes her seat on the couch.
Ms. Khanna had left the kids alone at home, but when Anu came to see us that night, we went looking for her and she was found with a drug dealing teen in a tattered old house and we sent her to Mumbai for rehabilitation, along with the kids. There, after a few months, she was diagnosed as HIV positive and brought back to Delhi.
"I will just set the table for lunch Jules. Can you help me there a bit?" Nancy says hastily.
"Oh. Sure." I say knowingly.
"How are you going to tell her Jules? I am freaking scared!" Nancy spits out as soon as I enter the kitchen.
"Stop freaking out! I will take care. I need your support. I am already in enough panic, I don't want you to do the same. That just adds to mine." I finally say.
"Sorry Jules. It is just that I love you so much. I am scared to lose you." Nancy says in a whisper.
"I know. I love you too. I will never leave you, I promise." I say and I kiss her cheek quickly.
"Now, set the table and I'll be with them for a while." I tell her and leave the kitchen to join my Mom and others.
"....and then?" I hear my Mom giggling and talking to Anu.
"Then, that guy just kept on looking at my buttocks. He thought I really am a fart machine." Anu says laughing with my Mom.
"Is it that airplane incident?" I ask Anu knowingly.
"Yeah, Mum." She says.
"Huh???" My mom exclaims. "Mum?" She giggles again.
"You are funny dear." Mom says to Anu and I take a sigh of relief.
Anna looks at me and signals me to meet me near the basin.
"Yeah?" I ask her.
"See Jules. I know you want to come out to Mom today but I really don't think you should do that. She will never accept this. You better run away with Nan."
"You want us to elope?"
"Yeah. Clearly." She says.
"Okay. You are in University and all but still you are immature Ann. I am never going to do that. Even if Mom says no, we will wait till she says yes. And who needs a marriage? It is just for the sake of the society. I still can live with Nancy. And anyways it is not legalised in India. A lesbian marriage." I say, trying to sound cool.
"Whatever Jules. I just said what I felt." She says and she leaves with a frown.
"Okay. Time for lunch, everyone." Nancy calls out for everyone from the kitchen.
Everyone takes their seats and I take out a chair for Ms. Khanna to sit. Anu helps.
"Should I stop calling you Mum?" She whispers in my ear.
"Oh. No. Don't stop. The butterflies in my stomach will fade away. I clearly don't want that." I say in a serious tone.
"I don't want that either." Niki whispers, appearing out of thin air.
I kiss his cute cheeks and all three of us giggle.
"What is the joke?" My mom asks sounding curious.
"Oh. Nothing. I was retelling the 'fart-machine' story." Anu covers up.
I mouth a thanks to her and smile.
Nancy serves everyone food and sit down next to me. Mom keeps talking about some random family gathering next month and I search my brain for an appropriate sentence to start the conversation about my sexuality. I pretend that I am listening to Mom and keep on wondering how to start. And I don't know how it happens but I spit it out -
"Mum. I am a lesbian."
My Mom stops talking and looks at me for a while to see if there is a trace of smile on my face and to figure out that it is a joke. When she thinks that it is clearly not. She asks-
"What? What did you say?"
"I...I said I am lesbian." I stammer.
"A lesbian? You? Are you crazy? What is she even talking about?" She looks around for an explanation and everyone just nods as an answer.
"What the hell? Everyone knows about it?" My mom says out loud.
Everyone nods in agreement.
"Haha. I don't think so dear. You are just going through a phase. You are confused. Did you watch any stupid gay movie? I am pretty sure you are just influenced to sound unique." She says stupidly.
"Mum. I am a lesbian! I am a 24 year old and I am clearly not going through any phase. Nancy is my girlfriend and we have been together for like 2 and a half years. I love her." I say furiously.
Shock dawns on her and she stares at me and Nancy blankly.
"We are christians. Do you even know what you are doing?"
"What? If my religion says this is wrong, I better be wrong, Mum. I love her. And I want to spend my life with her." I say holding Nancy's hand tight.
"I cannot allow this. I thought I will look for a guy for you next month and show you both around in that family gathering of ours. My wish to have my grandchildren....you have spoilt everything Jules!" My mom gets up and shouts furiously in tears.
"Show us around? I am not a toy Mum. I am a human. I have feelings. I was born this way. I am a lesbian. I cannot change it. And your grandchildren are here. Anu and Niki. We are adopting them." I say adding another shock to Mom's decapitated mental state.
"What??? You are adopting that drug addict's kids??? Are you crazy? What is wrong with you? You need serious counselling, Jules." My Mom yells.
Anu drags the wheelchair and leaves the room with Ms. Khanna. Niki runs after her.
"Mum!!!! Stop it!" Anna shouts at my Mom before I could.
"You cannot define her sexuality and her life anymorw Mum. She is not asking for your permission. She is asking you to accept them. Stop hurting people like this. How would you feel if you had to marry a girl out of your wishes and against your sexuality? She cannot marry a guy against what she is. Don't you get it? You will make her life miserable." Anna says and for the first time I don't think she is immature.
I allow tears to fall down my cheek and Nancy grips my hand tight knowing that I am in pain.
"Well, if that is the case, I am not accepting them. I am going home. Catch a bus and come back later." My mom says to Anna and leaves taking the car keys along with her.
I stand there looking for an answer. Nothing but tears follow....
••••••••
The next day when I wake up, I see my phone ringing continuously. I pick it up to see that it is from my Mom.
"Hello?" I say, going out of the room to not to wake up Nancy. She had been consoling me the whole night.
"Hello Julie. This is Mum. I want to see you. Can you come home? I think I am not well." My mom says in a low voice.
She had never sounded like that ever. I feel a shooting fear coursing through me and I hang up the phone with "I am coming!"
I put on my sneakers and leave a note on the fridge saying -
Mum not well. Going home. Will be back soon.
••••••
And that is the last time I saw Nancy.