*Ms. Khanna's Pov*
I have never been so happy in my life before. My daughter Anu told me she doesn't want to see her Dad anymore. Not that I don't want her to see him. It is that I am free of the fear of losing my kids to him.
Lying on my bed, I think of my kids and I get up to go give them goodnight kisses which I have almost never done. I walk slowly fighting my lethargy to Niki's room.
I see him lying there in his blue cot with fairy lights all over his window beside, hugging his favorite croc and sleeping like a little angel.
"I love you." I say in a whisper kissing him on his forehead.
I walk slowly upstairs to Anu's bedroom. I find it open and I enter to see a messy bedroom full of her stuff scattered all around. She usually keeps it clean. Maybe she was too tired to clean everything. I see her lying on her bed with such innocence and charm. I pull the blanket over her, when I see it. First, I think I am mistaken because of the moonlight and my stupid of an eye. I switch on the nearby lamp to see it clearly.
Tears start choking my throat. My baby's forearms and arms, full of self-inflicted cuts. One on her arm was 'I hate you mom'.
I feel a shearing force of pain hitting my heart. I leave the room as soon as I can in the fear of waking her up.
I go to my room to let myself scream and cry. But I cannot. My grief starts engulfing me like a parasite. I try to find a solution. But nothing comes to my mind.
I, a mother, never knew what my child was going through. I think of how I neglected her everytime.
What is the point in my living when I cannot even take good care of my kids. I was not a good wife. I am not a good mother. What am I?
The grief now looks like a demon to me who is here to consume me as a whole. Tears start flooding my face. I gasp for breath. My heart starts beating too fast. My hands go clammy and feet go numb. I hear my breath going faster.
Everything just blacks out.....
••••••
"Mom? Are you okay?" Anu asks shaking me. It is morning. I don't know what happened to me last night. But I was not conscious for a long time for sure.
" Yeah. I think so." I get up to face my daughter. But I cannot see her. My eyes refuse to meet hers. I look down and I say -
"I have work today. I need to go. You better start for school."
"Are you sure that you are okay?" She asks again.
"Yeah. Completely. I got to go." I say and I get up to get to the bathroom.
●●●●
Later that week...
"How much can you get me?" I say to the teenager.
"As much as you want miss. But it will be costly. Is that okay?" The teenager says. He looks tall and a complete punk with piercings almost all over his face and a tattoo on his neck. A dragon, perhaps.
"Oh. Sure. Are you sure there won't be any trouble?"
"Haha. There will be ofcourse. These are drugs. Banned stuff ma'am. That is why I am charging you extra. Just like value added tax." He chuckles.
"It is not funny. I need them by tonight. I will be waiting. I am not able to stop." I say seriously.
"I totally understand miss. It happens. I will get them soon. You just got to relax. You are going too fast with these." He winks and he leaves with the money I paid him.
The marks on my body are nothing as compared to what my daughter has. If these drugs and syringes are harming me, I want to be harmed as a punishment to what I have done to my daughter. I know that this is stupid. But it is the only way that I can see to get through with this pain.
That night, I get the drugs from the teenager as he told. I leave a note on my bed and I leave my house. I had called Lily before that evening.
"You got to take care of my kids for a few days, Lil. I won't be staying with them for a while. Do this favor for me. Please." I say sheepishly.
"Oh. That is fine. B.."
I disconnect the call as soon as I hear footsteps approaching my room.
******
Now, I am here with the teenager at his place. Like a refugee. Staying away from my kids because I am a disgrace to motherhood.
•••••••
《Hey!
This is kartika_k again!
Please tell me how you feel about this chapter in the comments below.
And I sincerely do not support drug or any kind of addiction. It is very bad and disgusting. It spoils lives of the people around you as well. Please do not do drugs. Believe in you and there are other means of having fun too. xD
Vote if you like. xD
Comment and share as well. :) 》