Rene flinched at the words. She was sure the voice meant it to be affirming but it's presence was a reminder of how close she had come to the edge. She grabbed her head and hunched over, squeezing as though she could just leak the crazy out like juice from a fruit. "Rene?" Danny inquired.
She brought her face up. His warm eyes held concern. "I'm fine." She muttered slowly letting her hands fall.
The bell rang out overhead causing everyone to move. It was like a hive. One mind that ran multiple bodies, the residents of the asylum moved as one. The ones that didn't became like broken pieces in a machine, worthless and replaceable. Rene fell into step with the others. She could feel the skittered glances of Cassie and Danny but neither said anything. Rene stared at the floor and started counting the tiles. She stepped purposefully on every crack in the floor. Every grout filled line was slammed upon and there were many. The building was so old that many quick-fix repairs had been done to the floor to avoid having to rip it up and redo completely. Because having a good, code meeting building would be such a waste of money seeing as it only housed a bunch of teen crazies. With every fall of her feet, Rene thought bitterly step on a crack you'll break your mother's back. She didn't really want to break her mother's back. Despite everything, there would always been a part of her that cared about the woman. She had raised Rene after all and before that night, life wasn't bad. Still, every step that landed on a crack gave Rene a feeling of satisfaction. It was childish. It was ridiculous. It was crazy, but it allowed her to release her anger for the woman when it had no where else to go. She was so lost in her personal vendetta against the lines that she passed by Cassie and her's room. She gasped slightly when a hand grabbed the back of her t-shirt jerking her to a halt.
Rene turned around to glare at Cassie, who just gave her one of her sweet smiles and a wink. Cassie dropped her hand from Rene's shirt and she went into the room humming. Rene followed her collapsing on the bottom bed. "You finished with your homework?" Cassie asked plopping down beside her and wiggling her bottom to force Rene to move over.
"Nope."
"You going to do it?"
"Really rather not, but I suppose this whole" she waved her hand absentmindedly searching for a word "new leaf thing means I should."
Cassie nodded her head in agreement. Rene didn't move though just closed her eyes instead to block out the world. She felt a finger poke her in the cheek repeatedly a couple seconds later. "I can and will bite that finger off if you don't stop it." she growled in response.
Cassie laughed, "Nice try but you love me to much for that. Plus look at this paint job, to destroy beautiful nails like this would be a crime. Now come on we got stuff to do. Can't be a goody-two-shoes if you don't even do your homework." the mattress creak as Cassie's weight bounced off.
Rene groaned prying open her eyes. "Hate you."
"Love you too." Cassie sang from her spot at her desk.
Rene rolled herself onto her stomach and spun so she could reach under the bed for where she threw her academic stuff. Hanging half off the bed, she struggled to keep from falling off completely as she riffled to find the correct book and papers. She finally found it and reached behind her grabbing Cassie's bed frame to pull herself back up. She crossed her legs beneath her and eyed the homework with a frown. School was never necessarily hard for her. It was more what she'd consider a pain and a waste of time. Especially considering she had spent so much time sleeping during it and now she needed to actually figure out what was going on. If only she could absorb it all through diffusion. Just put it under her pillow for the night and wake up in the morning knowing all she needed to. Stupid new game.
Time passed quickly as Rene buried herself within the work. It was annoyingly slow playing catch-up. Cassie finished quickly and had gotten ready to sleep. Her careful beauty regiment, as Cassie called it, of a night routine was as equally time consuming as her morning one. She was now in her bed and singing quietly to herself as she doodled in a spare notebook. There really wasn't much else to do for entertainment in the room. There was only the bunk bed, two desks, a dresser (shared), and the small adjoining bathroom. If you were bored, you were kinda screwed. Nights were spent reading, drawing, sleeping, or maybe talking with your roommate if you liked them. It was a rut at the asylum. Life and time flowed around you. A person at the asylum could feel it passing, but not really experience it. Days ran together like bleeding colors becoming a puddle of gray, eventually everything seemed the same. Rene was aware that she was older, that her life was passing by while here. Yet it felt like such a slow leak that she didn't notice it until it was pointed out. A slap to the face, it became so obvious when realized. Schedules, routines deemed so important by the asylum were a way to numb them to how much of their lives were being stolen here.
Rene blinked surprised when suddenly the lights went out. She had been so zoned in she hadn't even heard the warning. A slight plop came from the sound of Cassie dropping her notebook from above. Rene sighed before gathering everything. It was frustrating work in the dark and her legs were all tingly from sitting in the same position for so long. Huffing she swept with her arm and flung everything off the bed to clutter the floor. She'd deal in the morning. She crept to the bathroom and quickly got ready for bed. Luckily, the asylum didn't control the lights for the bathroom. Finished she crawled into bed and stared at the same spring she had seen almost every night since her arrival, save those nights spent in the pit. Rene could hear the comforting sound of Cassie breathing above her. She wasn't alone. As long as Cassie was here, she wouldn't be devoured by the darkness.
Young one, you have not been truly alone for quite some time.
The voice was trying to be comforting again. Stupid voices, didn't they realize that talking only made things worse. It supported that the wreckage that was her mind was indeed falling apart.
Stupid? How dare you? You a mere fledgling doubt the wisdom of the ages? Nothing but a mere mortal, yet you dare to try and question things beyond the understanding of your human mind. the other voice replied angrily.
Rene inhaled sharply. Oh crap, they had heard her. Well of course they had heard her, they were voices in her head and she had talked in her head. Still she hadn't really expected them to answer. And she really hadn't been expecting them to be pissed off by the offhanded thought. Great now the voices in her head were mad with her too. Rene certainly knew how to rub people the wrong way, real or fake.
We are not imaginary, young one. The softer voice replied.
Yet I'm talking to you, in my head.
That does not make us any less real. I knew we couldn't expect an ignorant mortal to understand the ways of the cosmos. The angry one roared. Rene could feel the deep resonance rattling her heart with its bass.
Hey! Who's belittling who now! Great I'm in a freaking argument with the voices in my mind and to make matters worse I'm pretty sure I'm losing. I can't believe one called me stupid. That must really just scream volumes about my self esteem.
While my brother does speak the truth his manner of addressing you was less than favorable and for that I apologize young one. The soft voice floated through her like a stream.
"Wait brother?" Rene shot up and questioned aloud.
She clamped her hands over her mouth quickly freezing. She trained her eyes on the top bunk. It creaked and a small moan came from above. Cassie shifted from Rene's outburst but remained asleep, thankfully. This was not one Rene would look forward to explaining or would ever even speak about if possible. She hissed quietly, flopping back down. Perhaps the voices were right and she was stupid. She can't believe she let herself get carried away and absorbed by the voices her psychotic head developed. Still...
Um...can you hear me? Are you still there?
No reply. All that wandered through her mind were her own scrambled thoughts concerning the matter. It was like someone had taken her game board and flipped it on her. All the pieces were scattered. The rules were torn to shreds and tossed in the air for confetti. This game had gotten a thousand times more complicated. There was no point trying to reset it the way it had been. The new players that were the voices were demanding to be recognized as more than just pieces or challenges. Their presence could no longer be sidelined. Rene bite her bottom lip nervously, a bad habit she had picked up as a child. Her mother used to scold her for the way it would cause the blooming of a bruise. The pain helped ground her though in the raging storm of her mind. Dealing with this was getting harder. It was making her doubt her sanity more and more. She had surrendered her ability to ever be truly normal upon arriving at the asylum, but she never wanted to believe that she was that mad. That she had become too mad for help, too crazy to come back, to nutty to be recognized by even herself.
Rene rolled over and curled in on herself facing the wall. She wrapped her arms around her stomach trying to hold herself together. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for the temporary relief of asleep. Her mind was a minefield. Everything that had happened in the past couple days waited at the edges of her conscious to blow her up. Sleep could bring nightmares, it often did, but at this point it was a safer choice than her waking self. She didn't want to crumble and break apart. The pieces never seemed to fit back together right afterwards. True strength is supposed to be being able to pick yourself back up. A person should find all the pieces and rebuild a stronger, better individual. Rene seemed to rebuild a worse one. Each explosion caused her to lose pieces. She shut out those around her and closed off her emotions to avoid the next blow up. She became smarter and more strategic, a better player at the game. But it was just that a game, a way to survive. The game was not true living though, more of a shadow or even a reflection. Rene knew that deep down. There was no way to beat the game because when it ended, win or lose, so would she.
Rene sat by the fence listening to the hum. Her back was leaning against one of the few trees in the yard. It was a large oak. Big, solid, strong, and literally a giver of life, it was a reminder of what being alive could be like outside of the asylum. Rene picked up an acorn off the ground and threw it at the fence. It escaped through the links causing Rene to frown. Someone could escape, life could escape from here, just not her. She grabbed another one and chucked it again. This time it bounced off and the faint smell of something burning reached her nostrils. "Gez Firecracker, what'd that poor acorn ever do to you?"
Rene turned her head and met Michael's dark brown eyes. They shone down at her with amusement at the situation. His shadow fell upon her as he came closer and continued standing over her. "Coming from you that's pretty hypocritical." Rene muttered turning back to gaze at the world beyond the fence.
It really wasn't much out there. To be honest, Rene wasn't even sure where the asylum was. She had been doped up on drugs when brought here and hadn't a clue how she even arrived. Through the fence, on all sides, all one could see was trees. So many different types of trees, a lush living forest and yet there was never any animals. Smart creatures must be able to sense the darkness leaking from this place. There was only one way in and out of the asylum. It was a wide dirt road that went for who knows how long through the woods and to civilization. Over the hill and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go. Now all they needed was their big bad wolf to eat little red riding hood. Kristy could fit the bill. She certainly howled enough.
"Not true, I burned buildings not living things." Michael retorted sitting down beside her. He stretched out his long legs and leaned back on his hands.
Rene glanced at him. "You really don't give up do you?"
"Never. Besides that wouldn't be any fun and you interest me."
She cocked her head at him questioningly.
"Seriously Firecracker? A beautiful, witty girl who is covered ink that shows up randomly, and appears to move no less, plus is one heck of a troublemaker. What's not to be curious about?"
Rene blushed furiously turning away. She was pretty sure he was just pulling her leg to see her falter. No one would actually say those things about her and mean it right? "You're thinking about hitting again aren't you?" Michael said leaning forward to catch her attention.
Rene gave him a sly grin deciding to go with it, "You know me so well. You're just lucky I have nothing but my hand to hit you with."
He laughed and bumped her with his shoulder before quickly pulling away. His face became nervous upon realizing what he had done, touched her again. Surprisingly, it didn't bother Rene as much as it used to, not that she could let Michael know that. Instead, she gave him a wack across the back of his head. He rubbed it and gave her a sheepish grin. "Suppose I deserve that one, you did warn me after all."
Rene nodded leaning back into the tree. "Where do you think we are?" she inquired softly.
"Hm?" Michael raised an eyebrow, "We're at the asylum aren't we? Sorry, I mean boarding school for trouble youth."
"That's not what I meant hot shot. I mean where in the world are we?"
Michael got a thoughtful look on his face and ran his fingers through his hair causing it's red spikes to become more messy and sporadic than normal. "Guess I haven't really thought about it. I don't even remember coming honestly. I just woke up here one day."
"Me too." Rene pulled her knees to her chest as a shield. "Think it's on purpose?"
"Probably. Can't run if you don't know where you are, where your going, or if there is even anyone around to help you. Makes things seem a lot more hopeless than they are." His reply came out so logically and Rene could hear the truth ring out in it. The thought was scary and made her become quiet withdrawn into her own head again. "You ever think about running? Escaping this place for good." Michael questioned not looking at her eyes but instead at the world beyond.
"No." She sighed, "like you said it's hopeless." Rene strained her eyes as though she could see beyond the forest by willing it to be so.
"I didn't say it was hopeless. I said they make it seem hopeless. Everything here at the asylum is about breaking your hope. People without hope are easier to control."
Rene turned to him and found him to be staring at her intently. Times like these she forgot how much he annoyed her, how he was nothing but a prankster with a pretty face. "Learned all that in less than a week here?"
He laughed breaking the moment. "What can I say? I'm observant." He smirked laying down on the grass to stare at the sky, "You know, I enjoy our little philosophical discussions."
Rene shrugged, "I've had better."
Again that laugh. It was such a rich laugh with no holding back. It was a laugh of life and light. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed like that. Right then she decided Michael was a good ally to have in her game. Because even if she couldn't survive without the game, this was a person who could and would continue living outside of it. Being near that, even for a short period of time could perhaps remind her what being alive is truly like and what life without the fear of madness's corruption could be. But alas life without madness was not meant to be.
"What exactly are the two of you doing?" a sickly sweet and haughty voice drifted through their spot.
What was she even doing here? Rene pushed herself up off the tree so she could be standing to face the big bad wolf. She was keeping that nickname for Kristy, she had decided she enjoyed the snide. "Hello Kristy." Rene replied folding her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes.
"Rene," Kristy growled before turning sweet again as she directed her attention to Michael's form still sprawled on the grass. "Michael, I got my free period changed so we could spend more time together."
Michael raised an eyebrow at her. He sighed and slowly stood up brushing himself off as he did. "You didn't have to do that Kristy. Besides I already told you I spend my free periods hanging out with Rene." He gestured at Rene to emphasis his point.
Rene smiled triumphantly and stuck her tongue out at Kristy. She never said she was mature. Kristy's face contorted into pure rage and turned a lovely shade of purple. Rene wished for the first time since arriving that she had a camera at the asylum. The moment passed quickly though as Kristy put her beauty mask back in place. Perfect, pretty girls didn't have anger issues. That would just be Rene. She had been waiting for this battle ever since she first saw Michael with Kristy. Honestly she was surprised that Kristy had held out this long.
"Michael dearest I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. I want to spend more time with you and I thought you'd want to spend more time with me too." Kristy pouted expertly. Dang, say what you want about Kristy but she really knew how to lure people in so she could devour them like the wolf she was.
Michael seemed conflicted as his gaze shifted rapidly between the two girls who were throwing eye daggers at each other. Well, Rene knew where this was going. A girl like her never won. She was interesting, but that didn't last forever. She would become nothing more than a passing curiosity to him. Michael's indecision was driving a giant sword through her straight in the gut. She needed to get a handle on this. People didn't survive the gut shot. "Forget it Michael. I've got better things to do than dance with the diva today. I don't need another trip to the pit, neither she nor you are worth it." Rene bit off her words bitterly turning to leave.
"Hey Rene hold on." She cast a glance at him with a sigh waiting impatiently for his attempt at keeping the peace, "Look Firecracker you can't get rid of me that easy." He gave Kristy a shrug and grin, "Sorry Kristy we'll have to talk later. Got myself a running buddy I can't let down. Shall we my lady?" He bowed at Rene swiping his arms towards the path.
Rene felt a smile quirk at the edges of her lips. "Dramatic idiot." she snorted. Michael just kept grinning and refused to come up. She sighed, "Fine come on. Bet I can beat you in a lap."
Rene took off at a sprint finally letting the smile come to full. Michael really was a stubborn one and someone she could get used to having around to help guard her back. She continued pounding away at the ground and felt someone rushing up behind her. It wasn't Michael. "Kristy what the hell are you doing?" Michael's voice was sharp and loud in her ears.
Rene turned in time to see Kristy fly into her. She grunted as they collided and tumbled to the ground. Kristy popped up swinging. Her fists flew sporadically without rhyme or reason powered by pure crazy girl rage. The blows flew upon Rene repeatedly, many on her face. She tried to block them with her arms but it seemed to be a lesson in futility. If she fought back she was a goner. Miss Rachel would never allow a full on fight to slide. She knew she needed to remain on the defensive as much as it was burning her up inside. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep this up, both suppressing her anger and actually taking the beating without blacking out. Kristy's weight was suddenly lifted and flung aside. Michael's worried face appeared crouched down beside her on the ground. "You alright? Say something!"
Rene couldn't answer more than a groan. How was Kristy so strong? It's not like they had actual weights for lifting here. One to many accidents with heavy objects proved that to be a bad idea. She winced. One of her eyes was swollen badly and Michael was starting to look blurry. A scream rang through the yard. Kristy was back on her feet and looking to launch another attack. Her strawberry blonde hair wiping around her head and her eyes wild, Kristy really did look like a maniac big bad she-wolf. Rene was so dead.
Michael got up and put himself between the two girls. He spoke quietly and calmly, "You take even another step towards her and I'll end this myself." Rene shook at the violence in his eyes. This was not the prankster boy she had come to know.
Kristy froze, her eyes glaring at him debating his seriousness. "You'd pick her over me!" her voice was pure venom.
"Every time." he responded without hesitation.
Rene almost fainted at that one. She struggled to sit up. If Michael was foolish enough to take Kristy on then consequences be screwed. She wouldn't let him do it alone. Just as she was finally heaving herself to her feet, the guards came running in to save the day. Their eyes immediately went to Rene because it's always her fault. Of course, Kristy took no time taking advantage of that. The girl brought out the waterworks, she would've made a good movie star in another life, and lied her butt off. "Oh thank God you are all here. I was so scared. Rene here attacked me. I tried to defend myself, but I'm just so weak. I don't know what would have happened if Michael hadn't came and saved me."
Michael stared at Kristy appalled. Rene sighed hanging her head well there goes her chance of escaping the chair. "No that's not true. Kristy attacked Rene." Michael stammered out trying to defend her again.
Kristy gushed putting the back of her hand to her forehead. "Me? Why I could never. I just wanted to talk to Rene laying to rest this little feud of ours and become friends. She went mental though. You know how she has her episodes. It was so traumatic! I think it even got to poor Michael here." Kristy swayed laying it on thick, "I think I might actually faint." and then she literally collapsed into a waiting guard's arms.
All the guards turned on Rene menacingly. Wow, was that girl good. Rene put her hands up in surrender, not like she had many other options. Two guards came and gripped her roughly on either side dragging her away. Michael's retreating protests fell upon deaf ears. Nothing could save her now. Good or bad the game would end tonight in the pit.