*I had sneaked away from Alaxander he had been trying to get in touch with me through out mate bond,but I had blocked him off as well as everybody else. I was looking out at a partially frozen lake watching as it cracked and the water beneath it became uncovered back to the chilly air. My warm breath caused a frosty warm breath around me. I felt I knew the answer deep inside me of what I was going to choose,but it was so deep down that I couldn't seem to reach it. My eyes were half a shade of blue and red in my right eye and my left red blue and green. Ash and Snow as well as myself were in control Ash wanted to go back to our original pack the Lunar pack,then Snow wanted to stay here then I well I wanted to have both. It felt like I was being torn from the inside out trying resolve my conflict I could pretty much hear the tearing of flesh from bone then the rapid healing of it. I fell back into the thawing slush snow and stared at the blue sky a shadow hovered over me and a face appeared above me. It appeared to be my mom.*
"You know you have poor Alaxander and the pack looking all over for you and worried sick."
"I sent him a link saying I was ok five minutes ago."
*I sat up and my mom sat next to me looking out at the water.*
"I once had the same look on my face you have now."
"So how did you resolve your internal battle?"
"I didn't, fox shifters are both a tame and wild spirt you have to keep us grounded as well as let us be free. We aren't like werewolves who have lost part of their being even if we lose our foxes,we still hold onto our wild and tame ideals. Especially after we have tasted both worlds."
"I don't want to leave Alaxander and his pack can't travel,but I also can't leave my pack either."
"That was the only thing I didn't have,two packs to take care of,you won't be happy if you choose just one place to call home so you would be just switching back and forth which won't help any either."
"I don't know what to do I have thought of every possible way to deal with this and I can't decide Ash wants us to go back to our pack,Snow wants to stay then here I am stuck in the middle of tug of war."
"The only advise I can give you is this,when time boils down to the last second to choose things tend to work themselves out so don't put too much thought into the matter,just relax get ahold of yourself then return back to the present affairs."
*My moms advice both made me more confused as well as informed and calm. I stood back up feeling more at peace and less like I was about to be torn apart and returned back to the pack. Alaxander came running up to me crushing me in a huge hug and kisses.*
"I thought you had run away! Don't ever do that again,I was so worried about you!"
"No,I didn't run away I was,just...collecting my thoughts."
*I forced a smile on my face masking it making it look as natural and friendly as possible.*
"So what was it you were thinking about?"
"Contemplating life and it's problems at hand."
*I was feeling rather sick to my stomach weather it was stress or something I ate I don't know,but I ran to the toilet sadly dry vomiting,stress it is... Alaxander came behind me rubbing my back tho nothing came up not even water.*
"Ivy,you need to get something into your system."
*I didn't feel like arguing I nodded accepting a glass of water no sooner did I swallow I was running to the bathroom puking that up. I felt worse than the time I ate a year old carcass,hey don't judge I was hungry! My vision was going back to a splotchy black then everything went black. My vision cutting off tho the rest of me fully functional. I just wanted to sleep I didn't feel like eating or drinking I just wanted to restart and sleep.*
"Alaxander,I just want to sleep.."
*I leaned against him beads of cold swear dripping down my face as I closed my eyes letting a peaceful sleep take me. I felt like sh*t and I didn't even know why. The last thing I ate was some yogurt suspiciously old and some elk meat. The yogurt no matter how old would have gone down easy as well as the meat despite being raw. I felt a warm embrace around me making me feel better I moved as close to it as I could and fell asleep like that letting everything else around me go away all problems worries and future problems melting away.*
(Ok please do tell what you think Ivy will choose it may just affect the outcome of this story,or not I am just really curious and hopping to have an alternate ending than what I originally had planned sadly I can't find any other way to end this😭😭😭😓😓)