I drag myself out of the car and hurried at the back of the house to the garden.. I told her to meet me at the garden as soon as we get back. I break into a jog, my feet hitting the dried leaves. I slowed down when I reach the garden. I look around and see where is she. Where is that lovely ghost?
"Rhian?" I shouted
Why is she not here? Iniwan niya na ba ko? Did she cross?
No no. Im overreacting..
I walked to the door, up to my room, disappointed.. I thought we'll meet there.
"God!" I screamed
"Hahahaha i got you again!" A laughughost is in front of me.
"Can you please stop that thing?" I frowned..
Bakit ako naiinis sa ginawa niya.. Eh datipa naman niya ginagawa yon.
I walk to my closet and get new clothes to change.
"Why? I'm sorry.." Her cold aura is surrounding me.
"Akala ko ba magkikita tayo sa garden?" I asked
Now I know, why I am acting like this..
"I know.. I'm sorry. But I wanted to uhm.. You know.. Surprise you.. Again.." She says with her low voice..
"Okay.. So, what did you do here?" I cross my arms and look at her with a smile.
"So.." She mimics me and also crosses her arms. "Humiga ako sa bed mo.. At nagmuni muni lang."
"About what?" I asked, turning back at her and lift my shirt.
"Uhm.. Things?"
I walked to the mirror to look at myself.
"Did you sleep?" I asked
"No.. I haven't slept since i was dead. Which is very ironic. Kasi akala ng mga tao pag namatay na, nasa deep sleep na. Kung alam lang nila. Hahaha" she says and sits at the bed.
"I also miss dreaming." She smiles..
I walk infront of her and stand.
"By the way, I saw Benjamin kanina. Sa restaurant na kinainan namin.."
"Benjamin.." She repeated
"Yeah. He recognized your necklace and even told me about your death." I say
She stood up looking so curious.
"Really?"
"Oo. Sabi niya may mga rumors daw na baka you committed suicide or.."
"No that's impossible.. Really impossible "
"Or someone.. Uhm killed you.."
She looked so shocked.. And her expression looks so disappointed.
"Pero sino?" She sounded so disappointed
Rhian stands, walking to the window. "I cant even think of a person that would end my life. All my memories on the day of my death is so blurry." She says. "God! This is so frustrating. Everything would be so easy kung naalala ko lang yung araw na yun!" Her voice rises as she turns around.
"Calm down Rhian. Im here.. Dont worry. Remember what I've said? I'll help you.. No matter what."
"I know" she runs a hand through her hair.
I stand up and walk over near her so that I'm just a few steps away from her.
"Hey.." I lift her chin and her eyes meet mine. "I know this must be so upsetting on your side, but I need you to calm down.. I really want to help you and I will. Okay?" I say and give her a smile.
"Thank you Glaiza.. Really thank you.."
"So what now?" She ask
"Hmm. I think I should really gather more infos.. I'll ask your friends if someone is envious of you before. Lets just go through this, little by little.."
"Anything is possible Glaiza.. Anything." She says..
"Definitely "
Silence hangs between us..
She look back at the window, her expression is unreadable. I stare at her so deep, examining her face and everything about her. She is really lovely and fascinating.. Alam niya kaya yun? She can think but her body doesn't function. She can touch but she cannot sleep. She can smile but she does not breathe. How can she even manage to look so real to me? She doesn't seem dead to me.
"Rhian.."
She looks at me.
"What does it feel like? To be uhm.. You know not breathing.." I ask selfishly.. I was just so curious since my attempts of suicide.. Especially that car accident I've been in.
Wait. Does she know about that accident? I guess not.. She's not asking naman..
"Wow.. You're the first live person I've talked to and obviously you're the. First to ask me that."
I remained silent, eager to listen to what she will tell.
"The past two months that I've been dead, i have spent most of it wandering around, staying at the garden and sometimes at my parents' house. Katulad ng.agi kong sabi sayo, I observe the world. I have watched my funeral, i watched how my friends cried, how Denise cried so hard. I watched the amount of people who mourned at my death, especially my mom and dad and my sister. I watched the, throw the flowers on my grave. I watched them on how they decided to forget about me, and how they moved on. Nakita ko kung paanong naglalakas lakasan sila dad.. Nakita ko rin kung paanong nagaway si Ate at sila mommy dahil sa gagawin nila. My sister was so mad and I think hanggang ngayon.."
"I also do have emotions Glaiza. Nagalit din ako nung pinilit nilang mag move on. Akala ko noon, hindi ako importante sa kanila kaya pinilit nilang makalimot. Pero habang tumagal, nawala na rin yun. Frustrating lang kasi kahit wala na yung galit ko, nandito parin ako.."
"I really want my life back Glaiza.. Kung pwede lang talagang mabuhay ulit."
"Kung hindi man ako mabubuhay muli, I want the afterlife. Where there is peace.."
I cant find the words on how to respond to her. I just dont know what to say. I was so ungrateful before. Sobrang tanga ko pala dati dahil sa mga pinaggagawa ko.
Rhian stares at me..
The human life is so fragile, but human mind is so strong and I know what is running in her mind. She maybe dead but her mind and her feelings and her emotions remain.
She looks at me "Glaiza.."
My heart rate quickens.. "Rhian.." I say
"Would you like to see my grave?" She asked
I am really flushed by her question, I don't know if I want to see it but I'm quite confused..
"Yes"
She nods and walk at the door, opening it wide.
"Wait. Paano kung pumunta dito sila dad tapos malaman nilang wala ako dito?"
"Oo nga pala.."
"I'll just lock the door. Siguro naman iisipin nilang tulog lang ako. Tara?"
I lock my bedroom door and followed her downstairs.
We move sneakily up to my car. Pumasok siya sa kotse and leads me the direction to the cemetery. This is so nerve wracking for me, my heart beating fast and I feel like my sweats are icy.
We reached the cemetery and parked my car.
She first look at me and smiled, gets out of the car and nodded. Rhian gestured to follow her. South Montgomery Cemetery is surrounded by tall tress and i can feel the breeze even here at the entrance.
Rhian walks her way, like she already memorized every corner of this cemetery. Which I guess is right.
My shoulders are tense and I can feel the strong cold feeling she is giving me. As we walk through, I can't help to wonder if there are also spirits here like Rhian, stuck in the between..
We finally reached a tall tree and she stops.
"Bakit?" I asked
"My sister visited me." She says in a hoarse voice..
"Paano mo nasabi?"
I looked down and found her place. I stared at the orchids laid at the ground above the stone.
"Nakita mo na?" She says "Rhian Howell" she reads what is written on the stone.
I don't know what to feel that I am really in front of her grave. I don't know what to say, can't even comprehend a thing..
"Life's a voyage of eternal adventures, death is not the end. 1995 to 2014" I read the epitaph at the stone.
"That was my grandmother's favorite line.. Lagi niyang sinasabi samin yan everytime na pinapagoitan niya kami before.."
A meaningful epitaph for a lovely ghost.
Rhian standing beside me and me looking at her own grave is very painful.. Why am I hurting?
The tiny hope I had that she'll be alive was lost today. She really is dead. She really is not breathing anymore.
"Hey Glaiza." She says turning me to look at her.
"You have tears.." She utters and wipe the little tears that flowed at my eyes..
Her cold fingers caresses my face. Her soft and tender hands.
"Sorry." I say and closed my eyes, rubbing my tears away.
"Dapat hindi na kita dinala dito eh.."
"No.. I just can't believe that I am here.. You're here by my side but here I am standing infront of your grave."
"I know.." She says and looked down at her grave.
Inilatag niya ang kamay niya sa harap ko, para bang hinihintay niyang hawakan ko iyon.
"Death is not the end.." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at binasa muli ang nakasulat sa harapan namin.
Our hands once again intertwined.
I wonder kung anong itsura ko ngayon dahil may kahawak ako ngayon na multo..
Wala namang tao dito kaya okay lang.
"So yung ate mo yung naglagay ng mga orchids na yan?" I ask..
"Oo. Parehas naming gusto ang orchids kaya yan lagi niyang binibigay sakin."
"Do you visit here often?
"Uhm.. Pag wala na kong mapuntahan, pumupunta ako dito.."
"Alam mo ba, hindi ako pumunta sa funeral ni Louis."
"Yung bestfriend mo before?"
"Oo.."
"Bakit naman??"
"Sobrang guilty kasi ako noon. Sobrang galit ako sa sarili ko noon kaya mas pinili kong hindi pumunta.."
"Eh ngayon?"
"Anong ngayon?"
"Kung galit ka parin sa sarili mo dahil sa nangyari?"
It took me a couple of seconds to answer.. Napatawad ko na ba sarili ko? Ano ba ang sagot?
"Hmm.. I don't know. Maybe? Hindi na kasi katulad nung dati.. Ngayon mas okay na yung feeling ko. Mas light na yung pakiramdam ko.."
And that's because of her..
"Wag kang magalala.. I'll be your new bestfriend" she says "kung gusto mo lang naman?"
"Ikaw?" I looked at her.
"Oo. Why not?" She smiles
"Thank you" I smiled back at her.
We stand here for a little while. Looking at each other and smiling.
I may look weird right now, smiling with this lovely ghost but I don't care.
Now I'm most comfortable with her..
"You know what? There are things that are changing.." She says as she leans a little towards me.
"What?" I ask looking so confused
"Wala.. Nevermind.." She giggles, her laugh is so pure that makes me giggle too.
I could stay like this all day with her..
"Creep hahaha"
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