TOBIN'S POV
After an emotional night for me at least. I spent my morning explaining to Christen what happened because last night I was so emotionally drained. I didn't know what to think, I basically released my best friend and I don't know what to feel at this point.
Christen went out early to get some coffee so I stayed in our dorm, rethinking everything that has happened last night. God, I don't want to remember any of it. It was so hard just saying good bye to her, especially when I thought that it was just a see you later. I shake my head as I hear my phone start to ring. I check my phone thankful that it was only Lauren. I really needed someone to talk to.
"Lauren." I choke out as I fight back some tears.
"Tobin, are you okay?" I hear Lauren ask.
"I lied. I'm not okay." I say as my tears escape my eyes.
"Tobin, what's wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen?" Lauren asks and I can hear the concern build in her voice.
"I miss you and everything that I once had. I miss Alex. I miss Amy. I miss everything." I say in between sobs.
"Tobin, what is this about?" Lauren asks.
"I messed up so badly Lauren. I regret everything. God I wish I was dead." I say.
"Tobin Heath don't you dare say that! Please Tobin don't do anything to yourself. I need you here. We need you here. What is Alex going to think? She's helped you get this far and you can't fail her, she hasn't given up on you so you shouldn't either." Lauren says.
It left me thinking of everything Alex has ever done for me. How dedicated she was to our friendship. How much she really did love and care about me. But I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid that I let her go.
"She's not going to care about me anymore." I whisper loud enough for Lauren to hear me on the other end.
"What do you mean?" Lauren asks.
"We got in a fight yesterday..." I say.
"About what?" Lauren asks almost impatiently.
"I knew it wouldn't work out. I knew we would end up loosing each other because distance is always a problem." I start.
"Wait... Are you two still friends?" Lauren asks, and just the word friend kills me inside.
"No... No we aren't." I say in between sobs. Then it's silent.
"Tobin... Was it you? Did you let her go?" Lauren asks quietly.
"Yes. It was me. God, Lauren what's wrong with me?" I ask.
"Nothing is wrong with you Tobin. Just tell me why." Lauren says.
"It's hard to explain Lauren. It really is." I say back.
"Okay." Lauren says then it's quite once again. "Tobin I have to go, I have soccer in a couple minutes. Take care of yourself okay? Please, just hang in there, don't do anything you'll regret later. Okay? I'll talk to you later." Lauren says, and with that she hangs up.
I set my phone down, and I go back to crying. I didn't even hear Christen come in. She sat down next to me on my bed and just stroked my hair, and she just let me cry.
Finally, I pulled myself together and I looked up at Christen. A worried expression is on her face but she gives me a smile. "Here." She says as she hands me some coffee. I just nod as I take it in my hands and sip it. "Are you okay?" Christen asks me as she watches me drink my coffee.
I just shake my head no, not wanting to talk about it anymore.
"Do you regret it?" Christen asks.
"Absolutely." I whisper as I lay my head on her shoulder.
"Forgive her then. If it's this hard for you, then letting her go wasn't the smartest thing to do." Christen says.
"It's the only thing I had left to do." I say.
"No it wasn't. You just thought it was the right thing to do. I'm not here to lecture you and tell you how to live your life. But I want you to know that she's still out there and she's probably as broken as you are. Go after her and give her another chance because you can make it work if you both try as hard. Tobin, I know you enough to say that you're an amazing friend and I bet she is to. So why ruin something when there really was no point in ending it?" Christen says.
"It's to late now..." I say.
"It's never to late to ask for forgiveness." Christen says as she gets up and grabs my hand.
"Come on, let's do something more fun than this." Christen says as she pulls me up to my feet and drags me out the door.
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ALEX'S POV
I didn't sleep at all last night, and I felt bad for keeping Kelley up all night because whenever I tried falling asleep. I would have a break down, but Kelley was always there to comfort me, even though I wish it was Tobin here with me. Tobin, the best friend that I miss so much.
Classes today will be hard because only the situation I am in is the only thing I'll be thinking about. But still, Tobin had every right to be mad at me but I just don't understand why she let go so easily. I want to fall into the pit Tobin has laid out for me but I can't, only because I spent so many months being there for her that letting go isn't an option. I'm going to do anything I can to gain her trust in me and I mean it.
I take a shower and dress into a new set of clothes. I swing my bag over my shoulder as I meet Kelley outside of our dorm.
"I told you, you don't have to come today." Kelley says.
"I need to get my mind off things and besides. School is a priority." I say.
"Just take it easy today, okay?" Kelley says as she smiles up at me. And I just nod my head at her.
"Hey, thanks for what you did last night it meant a lot. And I'm sorry for keeping you up." I say, feeling bad.
"Hey don't mention it. We're friends right?" Kelley says.
"Yeah." I say with a slight smile. We go our separate ways. Today I tried my best trying to avoid Serv as much as I can. When he sees me in the halls and tries to kiss me, I immediately turn my head so his lips kiss my cheek instead. He always frowns when I do that but I don't care. But finally, after school I get pulled aside and I look at Serv who stands in front of me. He looks at me with his dark brown eyes. "Is there something wrong with us?" Serv asks.
"I... I don't know." I say, as I play with my fingers.
"Will we be okay?" Serv asks, and I can almost see hope in his eyes.
"I don't know." I answer back, not knowing what to say, after all. I am talking to the guy who ruined one of the best friendships I've ever been through. He kept me from talking to Tobin. I think it's time to put an end.
"What's wrong babe? You've been ignoring me these past couple days." Serv says.
"I... I don't love you anymore." I say trying to avoid eye contact with him. He lets go of my arm and he just stares down at the floor. I feel bad, because he did nothing wrong. He was such a nice guy and he treated me so good.
"What did I do wrong?" Serv asks with hurt in his eyes.
"You did nothing, it's just me. Things... Change." I say, and a shiver goes through my spine at the word change.
"Is it another guy?" Serv asks.
"It's not about another guy. It's really personal Serv, and I would like it if you respected that." I say, still trying to avoid his gaze.
"If this is what you want if you're happier without me. Then it's done." Serv says as he gives me one last peck on the lips and walks away, leaving me alone. Like I deserve to be.
I walk back to the dorm and I find Kelley sitting on the couch on her phone. She looks up at me with a smile as she pulls me in for a hug. "How are you?" She asks.
"I don't know." I say, trying to be as honest as I can. "I just broke up with Serv.
"You did what!" Kelley says, as her eyes widen at the news.
"You heard me." I say back.
"But why? You two were perfect for each other. You both looked so happy." Kelley says.
"He got in the way with Tobin and I's friendship, and Tobin is far more important then he is. I've known her longer, she means something to me, our friendship was something special. And I was so oblivious. That's why I broke up with him. Because I'm going to do anything I can, to gain her trust again." I say.
"Aren't you so dedicated." Kelley says as she smiles up at me.
"I am." I say, smiling back at her.
"But what if she already moved on and you haven't?" Kelley asks me.
"She'll wait, I know she will." I say with a smile knowing that there is a source of hope.
"Well we better head to the pitch. Don't want to make a bad impression." Kelley says as she swings her duffel over her shoulder. I quickly change into my soccer gear and I head out with Kelley.
Training today wasn't to bad, but I am definitely nervous because tryouts are tomorrow and if anything, I want to make the team. I wait for Kelley in the locker room and I jump when I hear my phone start to ring. I hope it's Tobin, I think to myself. I pull out my phone, and I frown when I see that it's Lauren. Either way, I answer it, wondering what she has to say.
"Alex, what the hell?" I hear Lauren say, and boy does she sound mad.
"Hi to you too." I say quietly, as if she can't hear me.
"Damn it Alex quit stalling, because you know exactly why I called." Lauren said, and I tense up at the harshness of her voice.
"Look, I can explain..." I start but Lauren cuts me off.
"You better explain to me everything. And you better tell me why my or your supposedly best friend, is crying." Lauren says with a strict voice. I take a deep breath and begin.
"I'm a bitch and I know it. I know what I did was wrong, and I should have answered whenever she called. It's now I'm realizing how dedicated she was because she called me every single day, and she hasn't missed a day. You have every right to be mad at me, and quite frankly I'm mad at myself for ruining everything we had. She's my best friend, Lauren. God, I don't want that to change. I don't want to loose her. I don't want to ever let go. She is just as special to me as I am to her, and I need her in my life because she really does make me happy. She can make us all happy and you should know that first hand Lauren. We have a connection that I never shared with my friends back in Diamond Bar and it's so special I just can't loose it. I'm going to do anything and everything I can to change the way she sees me, and Lauren I want you to know how hard I'll work to be by her side." I finish, as tears already stream down my cheek. Then it's just silent.
"That's why I'm mad at you Alex, because she needs you. She really needs you, and if you did something wrong, that made her say good bye. Then it's a problem and I need you to know that. You've made an impact on her life, a bigger impact then Amy and I have made. She was so happy when you were around and I couldn't help but smile at the fact that she was happy. We are the source to her happiness and most importantly you are. Whatever you just said is exactly what I wanted to hear you say, because deep down I know she needs you just as much as you need her." Lauren says, and more tears sting my eyes. "Now fight for her Alex Morgan. Because Tobin is absolutely worth fighting for. You know how incredibly lucky she is to have a friend like you? You wouldn't even know. And you're not just a good friend to Tobin, you're an amazing friend to all of us, and I'm really happy I met you Alex. I want what's best for you too and I also want you to be okay."
"I miss you Lauren. I really do. I miss you, Amy and Tobin and I can't wait for the day we all see each other again." I say as I smile through my tears.
"Me too Alex. Hey I have to go now. Call me whenever you can. Love you Alex." Lauren says.
"I love you too." I say as I finally hang up. I look up from my phone and I find Kelley standing in front of me with a smile.
"I'm going to say this out loud but you guys are friendship goals and I'm not going to even lie." Kelley says as she puts her hands in the air with a smirk.
"Shut up Kel." I say as I get up and swing my duffle over my shoulder. "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted." I say as I let out a yawn as we walk back to our dorm.
"I'm sure you are." Kelley says with a smile.
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TOBIN'S POV
After classes today, I spent my night sitting on my bed doing absolutely nothing. I didn't have any motivation to do anything at all, I just felt so broke inside. I decide to call Amy because it feels like I haven't talked to her in a while.
"Tobin!" I hear Amy say through the the phone.
"Hey Amy." I say back sheepishly.
"How are you?" Amy asks.
"Good, I guess." I say.
"Lie. Lauren told me, and I want you to know that I'm here for you, and if you want to talk about it. I'm willing to listen." Amy says, and I smile at her comment.
"I miss her Amy." Is all I say.
"You know, I miss Alex too. I miss you and Lauren but I know that you miss Alex more than you miss us. And it's fine with me, you two had such a strong bond. I know Alex made you happy. She made you laugh and everything. But you just lost all of that, and I know for a fact that Alex is doing anything she can to have you as her friend again. But the thing is, are you willing to do the same?" Amy asks.
"I don't know. I don't even know if I want to see her again." I say.
"Wrong, deep down I know you want to. I know you Tobin. I've known you since we were kids. Don't make this any harder then it already is. Just give her a chance Tobin. I know your mind keeps telling you no. But you need to listen to your heart. I know how cheesy that sounds but listen to me. Just give her another chance, because she probably didn't mean whatever she said to you. She's a great person Tobs, and you know she wouldn't have said anything like that and actually mean it." Amy says, and every time she says Alex's name. I can't help but silently cry.
"I don't know Amy. I'm not ready." I say.
"You have all the time you need. But please, just think about what I said. I love you like a sister Tobin and I care about you. I know you'll make the right decision." Amy says.
"Thanks Amy, it really means a lot." I say as I smile to myself.
"Just make sure it's the right decision and it's something you won't regret later. Deal?" Amy says.
"Deal." I say. "Have a good night Amy. I love you too."
"Good night Tobs! I'll talk to you soon." Amy says, and with that she hangs up.
After Christen and I exchanged our good nights. For the first time I actually went to sleep in peace. All I really thought about was what Amy has told me because she is right, and I can trust her. She knows the right thing to say and that's just one of the things that I love about Amy.
I kept thinking about all the memories Alex and I have made.
"Come on Tobin, try it, it's fun!" Alex says as she stops her bike in front of mine.
"It looks steep and I really don't want to die early." I say with a laugh. Alex wanted me to go down a hill, on our bike, without holding onto the handles. The hill is this street that goes downhill and it's actually pretty steep.
"Come on! You'll regret not doing it later!" Alex says with a smirk on her face. "You only live once right?"
"Yeah that's why I don't want to do this because I seriously don't want to die early." I say and Alex just laughs at me. She grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes,
"Do you trust me?" Alex asks me.
"Of course I do." I say back with a small laugh.
"I promise, you won't get hurt." Alex says with a smile.
"Fine." I say, trying to keep a straight face.
"Let's do it!" Alex exclaims as we ride our bikes to the the top of the hill and when we finally reach the top I look at Alex and she grins at me. "You won't regret this, unless you get hurt which I promise won't happen." Alex says. "Ready?"
"I hate you for this." I say with a laugh.
"You'll thank me later! Now you have to let go of the handles or else it ruins the fun." Alex says.
"Okay, okay, let's get this over with!" I say, I was actually getting a little excited.
"One... two... Three!" Alex says and we tilt our bikes so we can go downhill I start to pedal as it becomes faster and faster. I look over at Alex and she has her arms out. "Let go Tobin!" Alex says while laughing. I close my eyes as I slowly let go of the handles on my bike. I feel the wind against my arms and this was literally the closet thing to flying. I open my eyes and a wide grin spreads through my face.
Finally, when we reached the bottom I look over at Alex and we both start laughing. "That was amazing!" I say as I run over and give Alex a hug.
"No regrets?" Alex asks.
"Absolutely." I say with a smile.
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AUTHORS NOTE
I hoped you liked this chapter just as much as I did!
I'll update ASAP!
Thanks for reading (: