I sit by a lake, on top of a hill, in deep thought. My fingers fun through the clear blue water, and I close my eyes, wishing I could fly as freely as the water in the lake does. I swirl my hand around, making patterns that last for a second until they're washed away. Water always helped me to think, to sort out my head that is constantly filled with shit that I've screwed up.
I take off my boots and dip my feet into the water, leaning back on my hands, looking up at the sunny sky.
"They told me you'd be here." A voice says from behind me. "Why are you here Leon?" I ask, knowing its him without having to look. "Because it's my fault you ran." He says, taking a seat next to me on the grass. "It's my fault you're hurt." He says, shrugging, and running his fingers through the water just like I did moments before.
"You can't fix it." I shake my head. "I know. But I can be there." He says. "Everyone in my life has either died or left me. What makes me think you won't do the same?" I look at him with angry tearful eyes. "Because I care about you Janie." He says, smiling slightly, with soft eyes. He places his hand on my cheek. I let him for a moment before I turn away. "Why are you helping me?" I ask, looking away. "Because you're my friend, and I want to." He says. "No. It's because you pity me isn't it? You're saying all this just to make yourself feel better because you flaked out when you knew you could've done something." I say, looking at him with an angry expression. "No, no I'm not believe me-" "Just don't okay?" I say, shaking my head and walking away.
I run back to the house, bare feet, chucking my shoes on the mat outside the door. I wipe my feet and walk inside. "Oh there you are Janie! I've been wondering where you were." Amy says cheerily from the kitchen. "Sorry Amy, it's been a weird day." I say, giving my best to smile back at her.
Gilbert walks in the room. "Janie? Would you mind putting Arnie to bed? I gotta go back to work, Mr Lamson needs me to work a night shift." He asks, looking stressed as ever. "Yes. I can do that where is he?" I ask. "Upstairs." Gilbert says. "Thanks !" He says, scrambling out the door.
I head upstairs and find Arnie. "Hey Arnie, bedtime!" I say as lightly as I can. "You have to catch me first!" He says in sing song. "Come on Arnie, I really can't do this to-" Arnie runs past me in an intense giggling state.
I walk around the whole house trying to find him.
After about half an hour, I slide to to the floor just outside his room and find myself breaking down.
I hear his voice and his footsteps come up the stairs. "Janie?" He calls out, laughing. "Janie..?" He says once he realises where I am. "Oh no no no Janie! Don't cry!" He says, kneeling down beside me. He takes my hands away from my face, looking very concerned. He wipes the tears away from my cheeks. "What's the matter Janie?!" He asks me, sitting down on the wooden planks as well. "Everything!" I say, blubbering. I feel like such an idiot. "It's alright Janie." Arnie says, grabbing my hand, and holding onto it. "You can tell me if you want to." He offers. He says it just like my Uncle Dan would.
That's when I realise. Arnie's the one that I knew I'd find! He's my Uncle Dan! I knew I could never lose him. That's why I felt an instant connection when I first met Arnie. That's why I fell in love so quickly. Realising this, I pull Arnie into a tight hug. "I know, I know." I say. "I love you Arnie." I whisper into his ear, closing my eyes, holding on as if my life depended on it.
"And then what happened?" Arnie asks. He's laying in his bed, me laying next to him, and I'm telling him a story. He asked me to tell him one of my own, and I told him I'd make it up on the spot. "Then he said to the man 'If you ever steal my pudding again! Well, you'll know what's coming!'" I say, and Arnie claps with excitement. "Make the whale noise again!" He asks, clapping, and flicking his finger against his nose. I proceed to make a whale noise, much to Arnie's liking.
The story I came up with was about a whale and a starfish fighting over a bowl of pudding. Ridiculous really, but I enjoyed it as much as Arnie did.
"Again! Again!" He says laughing. "I think that's enough whale noises for tonight." I say laughing as well. "Janie?" Arnie asks, as I start to get up. "Yeah?" I say. "Will you stay?" He says, with a look in his eyes that I've never seen before. "Of course." I smile, laying back down. "Goooooodnight." Arnie sings. "Goodnight Arnie." I say, closing my eyes smiling to myself.
"I don't know, I've never seen him like that before. He's acting normal almost." I hear a distant voice. "She's fixing him. It's incredible." I groan sleepily and turn over. I find myself buried next to something warm. I open my eyes slowly and look up to see Arnie sound asleep. I close my eyes again, feeling safe in his arms. "But how is that possible?" Someone says again.
"Okay okay! I'm up!" I reluctantly stand up, careful not to wake Arnie. "Oh... We were just..." Amy flushes red, and Ellen rolls her eyes. "Amy wanted to see why Arnie had been quiet all night." Ellen says. "It seems you're working wonders. He hasn't had a tantrum in over a month. Ever since you got here." Ellen shrugs. "How do you do it?" Amy asks, with curiosity. "Do what?" I raise an eyebrow. "Keep him sane." Amy says, tilting her head to one side. "I don't know?" I scratch the back of my neck, confused. "I thought Arnie was the one keeping me sane." I mutter. "Well, I'll have breakfast ready in 10." Amy says in sing-song, as she follows Ellen out the door.
I turn around to see Arnie laying there with his eyes open. "Morning Janie!" He says, sitting up. I laugh lightly, sitting down next to him. "Morning Arnie." I say, swinging my feet. I peck him on the cheek. "Okay I'm gonna go wash up. See you downstairs!" I say, standing up. Arnie stands up too, I feel arms wrap around my waist. Arnie holds me back for a second and I chuckle. "Yes?" I ask. I turn around. Arnie kisses me softly, before letting go and smiling. "See you downstairs Janie!" He says.
I lock the bathroom door and run the tap, grabbing my toothbrush. I start to hum to myself, feeling all happy and giddy now.
Is this what real love feels like?
Downstairs at breakfast, we all sit around the dining table. "Oh man!" Gilbert says, putting his knife and fork down. "We forgot to see the sunset last night!" He says, sighing. "It's alright Gilbert, we can see it again." Amy say, placing a hand on Gilbert's arm. "Yeah. In 2 years or something." He says, looking bummed. "Well, we could do something else?" Becky pipes up. "Janie and I still have another week or so of our break so don worry!" She says, with a smile. That's one thing I love about Becky. Her optimism never fails, it's reassuring.
Gilbert announces that the basement needs repainting and Becky is quick to offer a hand. She's always been into that sort of stuff. Plus, it'd be a good chance for them to get to know each other a little better.
I also have an idea of my own about the basement. It involved that couch. "So Amy where did you say those photo albums were?" I ask grinning at her over the table. "I'll show you." She wiggles her eyebrows at me with a smile, and gets up from the table, and we shove our plates into the sink. "You wanna come Arnie?" I ask, from the kitchen. "Okay!" He says, following after us.
I've never been in Amy and Ellen's room before. It just never really crossed my mind, and I never had a reason to.
It sure is nice though. Two single beds at each end of the room, and a bright pink wall behind Ellen's bed, which makes me smile.
Amy kneels down beside her bed, and pulls out a box. She sets it on the small round table in the middle of the room, and crosses her legs. She gestures for Arnie and I to join her. We sit down beside Amy. "Here's some old photos I saved after Mom passed." She says.
We spend a while looking through the photos, and laughing at some of the silly ones. We pick out the best ones, even though I haven't told Amy what I'm using them for yet. Just as Amy is putting the box back underneath her bed, the doorbell rings. I trod down the stairs, Arnie close behind. I open the door to see Leon. "What are you doing here?" I ask him, frowning. "I came to apologise." He says, a sad look in his eye. "Well, go ahead." I say, unfolding my arms. "Look, I know what you thought. Trust me, I know. Jimmy told me what happened, and... I didn't realise it was their fault, I thought it was yours so I lashed out. I'm really sorry Janie, I hope we can still be friends." He shrugs. I sigh. "Come in."
Leon stay for a little while, and Amy invites him to have dinner with us, but he kindly declines, as he doesn't want to impose. I also catch Ellen staring at the dark haired boy the whole time. After he leaves, I feel a lot better about the whole situation. Except for the fact that he didn't exactly say he wasn't friends with Jimmy anymore. I have a feeling that he might still be. I guess I'll find out at the end of the weekend. I notice that Arnie isn't saying much. I sit by him on the couch, but all he does is look straight ahead. "Arnie, what's wrong?" I ask, linking his fingers with mine. "Arnie? Talk to me." I say, brushing back his hair. "Janie why did Jimmy's friend come over?" He asks, looking at me with a blank expression that is impossible to read. I wish Becky was here to tell me what to say. She and Gilbert went out to get paint before hand. "I don't know." Is all I can say. I bite my lip. "He's not my friend. I didn't ask him to come here. You know that right?" I say to him, putting my hand on his cheek for reassurance. "I know that." Arnie nods. "I don't like Jimmy." He shakes his head furiously, and I notice a tear slide down his cheek. "Aww, baby it's okay!" I exclaim, cuddling him, making sure he feels comforted. "I don't like Jimmy Janie." He says, with a cry. "It's okay, he won't hurt you ever again." I say to him, getting him to face me. "I promise you. He will never ever hurt you, do you understand?" I say, shaking my head. The feeling of when Uncle Dan died creeps back into me, seeing Arnie like this. "Okay, I understand." He says, nodding. "Good." I say, smiling, and kissing him gently before I stand up from the couch. "Now. Do you feel like pancakes?" I ask Arnie. He beams. "Yes!" He claps excitedly. "Well come on then! I can't make them all on my own!" I say, wiggling my eyebrows at him, as he skips into the kitchen.
"Okay, so flour goes in the bowl next." I instruct Arnie as I read out the recipe. "Okay!" "And then sugar." "Okay!" "And then eggs." "Okay!" "And then mix it up!" "Mix it up!" Arnie says excitedly, trapping the wooden spoon, and stirring the ingredients in the bowl. "Awesome job!" I exclaim, holding my hands up, Arnie high fives me before continuing mixing. I could have pancakes for dinner any day.