A Million Trillion Billion (What's Eating Gilbert Grape Fanfic) *ORIGINAL*

Chapter 5 - Finally Home

We enter the furniture store. It's pretty much just some couches and beds in this huge warehouse. I follow Gilbert in, Arnie skipping in beside me. "Hi, we're looking for a new couch?" Gilbert says to the stern man standing behind the counter. He looks up. "To your left." He says bluntly, pointing to the left. "Um, thankyou." Gilbert says, and he motions for us to follow him.
"Oh I like this couch!" I say, diving onto a groovy green couch with abstract patterns all over it. "Ooh it's a bit uncomfortable." I frown, resting my head in my palm, propping myself up on my elbow.
Arnie sits opposite me in a pink floral armchair. "I am Grandma Arnie." He says with a hilarious expression on his face. I can't help but snort, burying my face into the couch I'm laying on. "Hey guys, check this one out." Gilbert says, and we look over to see what he's talking about. As I approach Gilbert, I notice a beautiful chocolate brown leather couch is sitting there. It has four little legs made of maple wood and it could seat about 8 people and it's shaped like a giant L. "It's brilliant...." I say, raising my eyebrows. "Ah!!! Gilbert pleeeeassee can we buy this one?" Arnie comes up and tugs on Gilbert's arm. "Check the price tag buddy." Gilbert instructs. Arnie bends down and flips over the small white card hanging from the arm. "Oh no. It's 400 Gilbert." Arnie says, shaking his head. "I had a 250 budget! That seemed like plenty!" Gilbert exclaims, rubbing his temples with his free hand. "Come on, let's find something a little more affordable." Gilbert puts his arm around Arnie's shoulders and they walk over to see more of the couches. I stay beside the couch Gilbert picked out. I think to myself... I wonder if I could help out. They need a new couch and they deserve a nice one like this, and I'd only have to pay 400 which I sort of can afford... Sort of.
"Gilbert." I run over to him. "Yeah Janie?" He asks, flipping another price tag over and sighing. "Gilbert.. Here." I shove the cash into his hand and close it into a fist. "Janie... No-" "Please. It's fine. I'm fine." I shake my head. Gilbert frowns, looking at me, eye to eye. "No." He says sternly. "I'm not taking it back." I cross my arms. "Yes you are." Gilbert tries to grab my arm but they are strongly crossed. "No Gilbert, you deserve something nice. For once in your life do something for yourself." I plead him, holding his fist closed, with begging eyes. I can't bear to see Gilbert the way he is all the time. His shoulders always slightly hunched, a permanent crease between his eyebrows, black bags under his eyes. "Please." I whisper to him. "On one condition." Gilbert frowns, placing his other hand on top of mine. "You and Becky stay with us, for the rest of the college semester, until you get back on your feet." Gilbert says, a smile creeping into his face. "AHHHH!" I squeal excitedly, jumping up and hugging Gilbert, my legs wrapped around him as I say 'THANKYOU' over and over in his ear. He chuckles, and pulls Arnie into the hug with us, me with a tear in my eye.
Part of a family. I'm part of a family. It's the best feeling in the world, no words can explain.

We all help move the couch into the living room - Gilbert, Arnie, Becky, Amy, Ellen and I - putting the old one in the basement.
Once we've finished, Amy grabs the cookies she made out of the oven and sets it on the coffee table in front of the new couch. We all sit back, tired and sweating, but also, overjoyed. I sit between Becky and Arnie, my arm around Becky's shoulder, my head on Arnie's chest. I haven't felt this happy in so long.
Arnie and I crack up when Gilbert switches on the TV and the surgery show comes on again. "...next up on Fatal Surgeries Go Wrong..." The TV says. Becky snorts. "Brilliant." She says, shaking her head.

"I'm going to go out and grab something for dinner, who wants to come with?" Gilbert stands up, and swings his keys around his finger, like he did when we were going to the furniture store. "I'll come!" Becky says, standing up, Arnie does too. "Janie?" Gilbert raises his eyebrows at me. "Nah, you guys go, I'll grab some of our stuff from home Becky." I smile, nodding. "Okay, no worries, let's go guys." Gilbert gestures for Arnie and Becky to follow him out the door.
It's just Ellen and I now. Amy went out a while ago, I don't know where to though.
"So...uh, do you, um. What's your favourite colour?" I say awkwardly to Ellen who is filing her nails. "Wow, sick questions." She rolls her eyes. I bite my lip. Hm. Tough one. "Yeah I know, I pulled it from 'dodgy conversation lines 101'." I say, playing along. "I was gonna bring out 'what do you like to do in your spare time' and 'how was your weekend' next." I say, silently applauding myself for coming up with something to say on the spot.
Ellen looks at me, with confused, yet somewhat joyful eyes. She laughs. "That was good." She smiles for a short moment, and then continues to file her nails. She frowns, vigorously going at her left pointer finger. "You know, your nails look fine as they are." I say, noticing that they barely peek over her fingertips. She ignores me, and continues to scrub her nails. The purple nail polish that covers them, slowly chips off and fades. "Ellen." I say. She stops. "Are you alright Ellen?" I ask her. "No-" She says, stopping herself from shedding a tear. "Ellen, what's the matter?" I ask curiously, she puts her file aside and sighs.
"My father." She says bluntly, staring straight ahead. "You remind me.... of him." She slowly turns to look at me. "I-I do?" I say, baffled. "Where is he? Does he visit?" "No." Ellen says, and I hear the sobs coming up through her voice again. She's good at suppressing them. I wish I was so I didn't have to look like a weak fool in front of people all the time.
"He's been dead for as long as I can remember." She says. I don't say anything. I'm shocked. "I-" "Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault. Everyone says they're sorry." Ellen cuts me off. I close my mouth. "He killed himself." Ellen says after a short silence. Now it's my turn to stop myself from shedding a tear. I've been crying a lot lately. I guess it reminds me of my Uncle. There's something about Endora, that just hits all my weak spots. "My father hung himself in our basement. That's why we always try to avoid going down there." Ellen says, resting her elbow on the top of the couch and leaning on her upper arm. I feel a sharp ache in my chest. "I don't know what to say Ellen. I know how you feel, losing someone so close to you. But I cannot imagine having a loved one feel so distraught that they end their life." I say, shaking my head in disbelief. It's not fair that this family - this ever so loving family - go through something as traumatising as that. "Yeah, well that's when Mom started going downhill too. She ate until she couldn't breathe anymore. Literally. She never moved from the couch, which is what I think the real reason for Gilbert buying this couch is." Ellen gestures to the couch, smiling. And there it is. That's why Gilbert can never relax, and why Amy always has way too much food to fit in the fridge, and why Ellen won't talk to anything but her lipstick.
Well I hope that's about to change.
"I-I bought the couch." I say, turning red as Ellen looks at me with wide eyes. "Why." She says, frowning intensely at me. "Do you think that we're poor people who can't manage on their own? Who are you to come in to our house and wave your money around like it's a leaf that grows on a tree!" Ellen angrily exclaims.
I stay silent and close my eyes, resting my hands on my lap. "When I was 4 years old, my family and I moved to America. We took in my Uncle Dan after everybody else finally abandoned him. My father never was the type to do things like that, but I guess it's different when it's your brother." I say, taking a deep breath. "Uncle Dan passed away when I was 16. Nobody went to his funeral except me and that made me realise the kind of people my parents are. Selfish, conceded pigs. I'm ashamed to call them my parents sometimes, because they never treated me like a daughter. They treated me like I was always in the way of them and their lives. I swore to never be like them. I told myself I'd always be a good person. No matter what. I escaped a week after Dan's passing, as I couldn't stand being in that stupid house anymore. I took out all my bank savings and rented an apartment in the rough side of L.A until I could find somewhere to go." I turn to face Ellen whose expression has softened slightly and she now looks to be listening with contempt. "I saved up for 2 years, and then found out about Endora, and it seemed so perfect, so I packed my bags and came here as soon as I could. Since I've been here, it's been incredible. I can't remember the last time I felt this happy, and this accepted, by everyone. I don't have to wear a stupid fancy dress to dinner, I don't have to go to festivals, and parties. I can be myself, watch a movie, have a laugh, and not worry about my parents looking down on me for it." I say, finishing my rant. Ellen looks at me with raised eyebrows, and her head tilted slightly to the side. "I always wanted to get away, to be set free. My parents never accepted me for who I was. They called it a phase. But truthfully? Do phases last for 18 years?" I shake my head.
"I'm so sorry Janie." Ellen says, and before I can talk, she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. Shocked, I relax my suddenly hunched shoulders and hug her back. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just, ever since Mom died everything's been really really hard and I just don't want to get hurt again." Ellen says, wiping tears from her cheeks. I grab a tissue from the coffee table and hand it to her. "I'm only 15 and I feel like I shouldn't have to feel responsible for things I am feeling responsible for at the moment." She says, sniffing. "I just wish that would go back to the way it was." She says, and I let her lean on my shoulder. "Shhh." I whisper, stroking her dark auburn hair. "It will. Give it time. I'm always here. I promise I'll always be here. I'm not going anywhere." I say, also promising that to myself at the same time. "Thank you Janie." She whispers.

Ellen and I spend the rest of the afternoon watching movies, and talking and laughing. I'm so glad I'm finally getting to know Ellen.
It's insane how quickly it's begun to feel like home here.