Chapter 22
I held back my tears while blowing the candles one by one. I already cried while I was donning his shirt (with his permission of course), eating alone and when I was picking up those rose petals. He can't hear me for he was outside the balcony overlooking the resort with his laptop and cellphone. I was in a self-pity mode. All my efforts were gone to waste. If only it wasn't night time and I was not in an unfamiliar place, I would have left that place on the spot.
What happened to him? He was so distant after what I did? Did I do something wrong? Maybe he didn't like getting a blowjob? Maybe he thought I was acting so slutty? Maybe I bit his penis hard and it pained him? I can't stop a tear from falling now. I thought that was the best gift I was able to give him aside from my virginity for it was my first time too. I swallowed my pride and did what I thought was the best 'hello' and 'welcome baby' moment. This should have been the best night of our lives. This should have been the night he will get down on his knees and say he loves me too. Well, I did the former part but he didn't do the latter. He didn't even give me the time to say sweet words after my performance. He just grabbed me and assisted me to stand and 'commanded' me to wash myself. It made me feel like a paid whore.
I heard the sliding door opened and I knew he came back inside. I hurriedly went inside the bedroom to hide myself under the voluminous duvett. I don't want him to see my tear-stained face. Too much shameful incidents happened already, I won't add another one to it. I covered my face and poked my ear up like a puppy. Trying to listen for his footsteps. A minute gone by, then two then it turned out like an hour but no Alex Jude came and slept beside me. I thought my tears were over but when I realized he won't be sleeping with me I cried myself to sleep that night. And the last time I did that was the night Lloyd told me he was getting married and he doesn't love me. Oh God! I really got such huge bad luck when it comes with men. I slept with a brokenheart, again.
***
I woke up instantly, trying to remember where I was. Then I pouted, it wasn't a dream. I felt my tight face, knowing I was crying while sleeping too. I sighed, a quivery one. The deep red color of dawn was visible thru the blinds. I frowned. I didn't recall opening the curtains. I moved and felt a heavy arm across my waist. My eyes went to the face of the 'stranger' beside me. I gave a slight smile eventhough my heart aches. He was more handsome and yummy looking with the dim light seeping thru the windows. The stubble on his chin and that small smile on his face made him more dashing. He was so beautiful, a God-gift to women that I felt another tear falling. This was a moment to remember. At least he was mine even for awhile. Last night I made up my mind I will not stay for long. Obviously his wants/needs for me dissipated. He got more than he bargained for. He even got them for free. I reached out my hand and was about to move his unruly hair covering half of his face when I saw him frowned slightly. I hesitated and felt like crying. That should have been the last time I was allowed to touch him without him knowing it. So I just stayed there for about ten minutes and studied him while he sleeps. I tried to etch his features in my memory. I don't want to forget a slight detail. Everything should be perfect. Everything should be in order.
I glanced at the clock on his bedside table, it's almost 6 now. I better get ready to leave. There must be a flight going back to my city. I felt dread washing over me just thinking of leaving him but I need to do this. For both our sakes. Atleast he wouldn't have a hard time dumping me.
I scooted my way away from him. Careful not to wake him up while removing his arm from me. I sat there at the edge of the bed and glanced at him for the last time, savoring his perfection. I stood up and went to gather my things. And left.
***
I left his penthouse and went down with the elevator. The elevator operator guy was frowning for he obviously can see me crying eventhough my face was half covered with my dark brown shades. I felt like grieving so I don't care. I'm brokenhearted and I have the right to cry. Anyway, no one knows me here but Alex and the receptionist from yesterday.
'Do you want me to call someone to help you with your bags, Ma'am?', he asked.
'No, it's okay. I can manage', then silence.
He must think I'm wonderwoman for I got two big luggages with me and I bet he knew they were heavy. But what he doesn't know was that I was carrying a more heavy weight inside my chest that carrying those bags were just a piece of cake.
I walked towards the reception desk for I need a help to catch a ride to drive me towards the airport. There were atleast 20 people there. the day was starting to get busy. But still I need to scamper off fast.
'Good morning Ma'am, how can I help you?' she gave me a bright smile though her eyes look tired from lack of sleep.
'I need a taxi to go to the airport', I said straight to the point. My voice sounded so low and shaky.
'May I have your room card please?', she said matter of factly but still smiling.
'I-I was at the penthouse', I blushed. She looked surprised and gave me a quick assessment. Maybe thinking I 'was' one of his 'female companion'.
'O-kay', she suddenly looked sad and I saw a pity look in her eyes. I looked away from her and acted as if I was viewing the paintings in the lobby.
There was a call when she was about to pick up the phone.
'Hello, goo--. Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Okay sir. Bye sir'. All her answers were punctuated with nodding. If I wasn't in such a bad shape I would have laugh at that for it was too comical.
'Ma'am, if you please. You may sit there while waiting for your man'
'I beg your pardon', I frowned slightly.
'He'll be here in a minute', she gave me a huge grin and gestured a hotel boy to carry my luggages towards the waiting area. I followed him, wondering.
I sat there fiddling my fingers. Praying that the cab will come fast. I don't want him waking up searching for me. I smiled sadly. I hope that was what he'll do not just shrugging off and saying to himself 'at last she took off and left with no drama' and going back to sleep. I frowned and pouted. I'm missing him already.
Suddenly, gasps and 'oh my!'s' resonated about the lobby. I looked up still frowning/pouting. The ladies were looking dumbfounded and mouth gaping while the men were covering their smiles with coughs and hands. Some older people were shaking their heads but looking amused and they were all staring towards me. Or better yet behind me!