My mind is jumbled with questions. I'm trying to find the right one. I didn't know he had a brother. Why don't they talk any more? Why am I just finding out now? Who's this One guy? I don't get it. I always seem to be placed in the dark.
When I finally find a question that should answer most of those, where almost home. Zavior isn't holding my hand any more and he seems to be lost in argument with himself.
"Um.. Zavior?" I start. He doesn't look at me, so I just continue. "What are we going to do now?" I finish.
He finally looks at me. We're about two houses over from mine. He looks conflicted. As if he isn't sure what to say. I don't know why he would be. It's a simple question. If he doesn't know, he can tell me. He finally shacks his head and itches the back of his head. It's a nervous tic of his.
"You're staying here, while I go and see the One." He states.
A look of disgust for sure crossed my face and I know Zavior seen it because he gives me look of hurt back. I mean how many times do I hide in the dark before I learn. We're suppose to be in this together.
"Why can't I come with you?" I ask, offended.
"Because," Zavior sighs, "You can't. It's too dangerous." He answers. With that, he keeps walking.
"But-" I grab is arm to stop him. I try and say something, but my mind draws short.
"Wait. " I try again. "Please." I beg. He finally turns around and looks at me waiting.
"It's not just you and I. It's us." I start. "When I am ever with you, I'm in danger. And vis versa."
He's staring at me and I can tell I have his full attention. That he is really taking into consideration of what I'm saying.
"I can't be kept in the dark. We're suppose to be committed. I admitted to you my love." I say honestly. "I love you." I say strongly.
He looks up and takes a deep breath. Before I know it I'm swept off my feet and the next I'm in my room.
Before he disappears, I hear him whisper to me, "I'll never let you get hurt." And with that he's gone. Leaving me to the darkness of my room.
••••
I won't say I have been crying for an hour, but I have. It wasn't the messy crying, but it was crying alright. I here a light knock on my door, but ignored it just in case it was Zavior. The light knock came again, but this time with a voice.
"Sweety? You up?" My Dad ask from the other side of the door.
"Yeah." I say, while wiping my eyes quickly. "I'm up." I answer. I look over at the clock to see it's 11 pm
He slowly opens the door and peeps in. He looks like he was having trouble of sleeping. It's just weird he came to me. He hesitantly comes in. I sits up.
"You can come in." I say encouraging him.
He finally comes in and tries to casually look around my room. I smile at his tactic.
"He's not in here." I answer his unsaid question.
He breaths out a breath he was holding and comes and sit on the edge of my bed. He fiddles with his hands. I never seen him nerves. He looks up at me and I must of not fixed my self up enough, because a look of concern covers his face.
I try and wipe the rest of the evidence.
"I'm fine." I say quickly.
"Is that why he isn't here?" He ask.
"Among other reasons." I say softly.
His eyes soften. He takes me in for a hug. I place my head in his should like I did as a kid.
"What ever you guys are fighting about, you guys will make it up." He hugs me tighter. "I seen how you guys looked at each other at the table. I may have been acting funnier than usual, but I still keep an eye on my loving daughter." My heart warms when he said that.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. He must have not heard me or didn't want to comment. "Have you ever made mom do everything you say and left her in the dark?" I try and put Zaviors and I's situation in words and substitute our names to my parents.
He chuckles, lost in thought.
"Dad?" I ask, curious.
"Yeah. I had. In the beginning, I'd make your mom go where I wanted and never listen to where she wanted to go." His eyes are far off while he talks. "It brought up a lot of fights, as you can probably guess. I had to almost lose her to finally fix myself. I thought I was helping her, you know. I wanted her to see all of me. I guess I was so focus on showing her me, that I didn't even give her a chance to show me something of her."
I break from his hug and look him in the eye.
"Thanks Dad." I say.
"Anything for you sweety." His kisses. "Did I help at all?"
I hug him again, placing my head back in crook of his head.
"You did." I confirm.
••••
It's about 15 minutes, when I here a pecking at my window. Now I know for sure it is Zavior. I've been staring the ceiling, but once I heard the pecking I threw the covers over my head. Less then 30 seconds later, I hear actual knocking on my window.
I finally decide to get up, figuring that I probably couldn't ignore him without being flat out rude. I look over at the window, and yep it's him.
I go over and open the window, trying my best not to look him in the eye. He finally walks in and tries to warm up, by blowing into his hands. I cross my arm and wait for an answer.
"I thought for a second that I'd be out there all night." He says, trying to joke around.
I don't say anything, still waiting.
"I thought you were leaving." I finally say when all he does is look around.
"I couldn't leave you, especially like this." He sighs.
I still don't say anything. I know he has more to say.
"I realized that I couldn't be without you. All I think about is you." I trying really hard not to look at him. " So please forgive me." He begs.
I'm trying my best not to give so easy, but I made the mistake and looked him in the eye.
"Fine." I give in.
He hugs me tightly as if I'll run.
"I'll never let you get hurt." He says again. "Even from me." He finishes.