Ahsoka's POV
Obi-Wan. Why didn't you tell me?
Life was a blur of colors and sounds. Her head, stuffed with bleak clouds that stung her brain.
Ahsoka, trust me. I know that it's hard to comprehend, but I tell you the truth, as terrible as it may be.
Lies. Lies that ran deep. Rooted into the crevasses of her torn heart. Lies that felt like a million needles ripping through her heart, and left it torn swaying in the wind that whispers truth.
A storm brewed from the clouds, rattling her mind. Things that couldn't be true became reality. Lies disguised as truths.
Something shook her body. Something burned her body. Some pain that hurt so bad, she was screaming inside, Make it stop!
Life was a blur of sounds and colors. Someone was yelling in delirious pain. Someone was cursing. Something dark kissed her eyes, and feather breaths left her lips. In and out.
Someone shook her, grabbed her mind and tore out the clouds. Ahsoka woke, laying in a speeder, unstoppable pain caressed her leg. Her vision was blurry and she seemed to be flying past the night.
Images came back to her, fire, lasers lightsabers. Bounty Hunter. Ahsoka started, and tried to sit up. She couldn't move.
Boba Fett sat next to her driving. She could only move her eyes, couldn't even open her mouth to speak. He seemed to know what she was thinking.
"Temporary paralysis. It'll wear off." He didn't even spare her a glance.
She closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears from the pain in her leg. Her throat was dry and itching for water. She couldn't focus, couldn't formulate a plan. Where was he taking her?
She wanted to turn her head away. Wished he couldn't see the tears that ran down her face. Wished she hadn't been so incredibly stupid. Wished she had at least taken a sip of the drink she bought back at the saloon. She was foolish, hadn't been careful. All she had wanted was to find someone. Someone she knew from her past. And that had been her mistake.
Attachment is deadly.
Sand dunes grew larger, Boba said nothing, and Ahsoka looked up to recognize the palace of the one and only Jabba the Hutt. This was getting better and better.
~ ~ ~
Ahsoka stumbled down the dank hall, the Bounty Hunter hauling her along, body tired from lack of water. Her hands were cuffed in front of her, and her body tingled as her it became her own again. She tried to keep off her leg as best she could, but it wasn't working well. She kept gasping in pain with each step they took.
They rounded a corner, Boba dragged her down some steps that she had walked down years ago cradling a baby Hutt. She yelled out in pain as they descended.
Boba led her into a large room, alien species of every kind were scattered about. Music was playing from a Jazz band in the corner and a pair of Twi'lek women were chained and dancing in the center of the room. Ahsoka couldn't help but think of Hera.
Boba roughly turned her to the front of the room and stood behind her. His grip on her arms was the only reason she was standing. Ahsoka faced the shadows the concealed Jabba the Hutt.
His deep and unfeeling laugh filled the room. Ahsoka tried not to cringe at the disgusting figure that appeared before her. He was still as repulsive as she remembered. She couldn't believe that she once had risked her life for his son. A sliver Protocol droid shuffled forward next to the giant Hutt. Jabba spoke in the garbled language that was Huttese, the music ceased as the droid stepped forward and spoke.
"The Great and Mighty Jabba the Hutt wishes to know why you have come here at this late hour."
Boba gripped her orange arm and shoved her forward. Ahsoka collapsed, unable to stand on her own, making her way to close for comfort to the slug before her. Jabba studied her longer than she liked.
"I found this Jedi following me." Boba's voice came from behind her.
Jabba's eyes widened, his deep voice sounded in the room, she only caught an astonished Jedi and Togruta. The rest were words she didn't understand.
"The Great Jabba wishes to know why you brought her here." The Droid asked, it's head turning stiffly. It reminded Ahsoka of the protocol droid Padmé had, one Anakin had built when he was a boy.
"I brought her here because I know you have connections with the Empire. I've heard they're searching for Jedi, for which they're willing to pay handsomely for."
Ahsoka struggled to sit up. No she would not go back to the Empire. Not back to that room, to the pain, the questions. The cage......
The Bounty Hunter shoved her back down. Jabba mumbled something.
"Jabba the Magnificent," Ahsoka wanted to gag. "Wants to examine the Togruta and wishes to see proof that she is a Jedi."
Ahsoka's head shot up in surprise. Examine her? Proof? She wasn't going to be examined.
The Bounty Hunter grabbed her by her back headtail and yanked her up, Ahsoka struggled in his grip.
"She was carrying these." He produced her two lightsabers, she stared hungrily at the familiar hilts. All she had to do was use the Force and she would have her weapons. She would be free from his grip, he held fast to her headtail. But, that was what the Bounty Hunter wanted, to tempt her to use the Force and prove that she was a Jedi. Well she wasn't going to let him.
Jabba's eyes widened, and he spoke loudly. The droid translated,
"Jabba does not think that two lightsabers are enough proof. Not from a Bounty Hunter who takes trophies."
Ahsoka could've sighed aloud. Boba let go of her head and stepped back. Off balance she fell to the floor.
"Fine." He turned drew his blaster and fired.
Screams erupted through the room. Jabba's gasping and yelling, the droid exclaiming. But nothing was louder than the Twi'lek's screams as she lay of the floor cradling her arm.
Ahsoka stared in horror. Memories came back to her, terrible dark memories. Hera screaming as she was ruthlessly tortured. Her own desperate yells to make her suffering stop. She couldn't breathe, she was at his mercy again. He was searching for the truth. She wouldn't let him have it. She wouldn't let him hurt anyone anymore.
Anger rooted deep inside rose. Anger from pain, pain from lies and lies that tore through her mind.
I would never let anyone hurt you Ahsoka. Never.
With a cry she reached out to the Force and found it. Except this part was cold, a chilling cold she had only felt once. Long ago on Mortis.
There is a wildness to you, seeds of the Darkside planted by your Master.
She raised her hands and released everything she had been pushing aside. Anger, pain, hate. She had to get it out. Everyone near her was pushed back with such force that they collided with the walls.
It was over quickly. She sat breathing hard, adrenaline rushing away from her, slowly fading. She looked around confused, Vader wasn't here. She met the terrified eyes of a Twi'lek she had never seen before. Hera hadn't been the one screaming. Ahsoka looked at her hands in horror. Still on her knees on the ground she began to tremble.
What have I done?
Guilt and fear filled her. She had been manipulated, she had been used. She had freaked out and returned to the cage. The cage that tore her body and burned her mind. And she hadn't even been the one threatened, hadn't been the one who was hurt. She had...had used the...the-
"Ho ho ho ho." She shakily lifted her head to the laughing Hutt above her. Boba got to his feet from where he had fallen and stood behind her again.
"Ho ho ho ho." Ahsoka looked down shamefully. Jabba spoke to the Bounty Hunter.
"The Great and Mighty Jabba agrees to sell her to the Empire, and wishes to know what percent Boba requests." The silver droid said.
"Seventy-five."
Even in her state of shock Ahsoka knew his price would never be accepted.
Sure enough the Hutt loudly protested.
"Jabba says Fifty percent, lower than usual for shooting his favorite dancer. No higher if you value doing business with him."
Ahsoka sensed Boba stiffen. She wished she hadn't. She didn't want to sense anything, she didn't deserve to.
"I agree." Boba answered, and without another word, he hauled her to her feet and dragged her away.
~ ~ ~
There is a wildness to you, seeds of the Darkside planted by your Master.
The words whispered through her mind. Her words.
Planted by your Master.
Darkside...
Let in your hate.
Vader had said, and she did. She had let it in, she had been weak and let him win. Let the Darkside win. Ahsoka huddled in the corner of a dark smelly cell. Her body was tired from using such power, her body still craving water. What had she been thinking? All this time she had made mistake after mistake. Talking to Boba openly. Using the...Darkside. She shuddered. And before that, before anything had gone wrong. She had known what Vader wanted with her. She knew she would put them all in danger. And yet, she went to Christophsis anyway.
Ahsoka wrapped her orange arms around herself and tried to block out the pain that throbbed in her leg. Her mouth was coated with thick slimy saliva, and her throat ached for water. She hadn't had a drop since she had landed hours ago, and her cell wasn't cool.
She had come here to find Obi-Wan, thinking she'd find answers. Instead she only managed to get captured and break the Jedi code.
Ahsoka paused. She laughed, actually laughed, her mind foggy. What was she thinking? The Jedi Code? The Jedi Code didn't exist anymore. The Jedi Order didn't exist anymore. Maybe Obi-Wan didn't exist anymore either.
That left her, a mechanical monster and his puppet master that pulled his strings. She supposed Kanan was in there too but how exactly, she wasn't sure.
One thing she was sure of was that she only had a few hours until she was in the hands of the Empire again. Until she was questioned again. Except this time she had no Illex Protocol to save Kenobi. No group of Rebels who would know she was in danger. But none of those things scared her. Not really.
What scared her was the cold side of the Force she used. What scared was that this time she was sure it wouldn't be Darth Vader questioning her, but the Emperor himself. And she feared that somehow he would know what she had done. That he would know she used the Darkside, and that terrified her.
Sudden coughing racked her body as she thirsted for water. All she wanted was cool water. She shook her head to clear it. Thinking of water would only drive her mad.
Ahsoka's thoughts turned to her vision. The boy and girl. Jedi younglings, children of a Senator and General perhaps? She sensed she was right, which only made her sick. How could she have been so oblivious? They had children! And yet how? Padmé did die, but was it childbirth like Kenobi said? Or was that a lie too? And who had the children?
She didn't want to think anymore. Thinking brought memories that brought pain, and she had enough pain for an lifetime in a matter of weeks. Instead she closed off her mind, blocked out her thirst. Surrounded herself with the living, good, bright side of the Force and let her mind rest.
It must have been hours later when her cell door exploded open and Stormtroopers entered. She let them drag her to her unsteady feet and lead her out the door. She started laughing. They were taking her. Again.
"What's wrong with you?" A Trooper asked to her left.
She laughed harder.
"I thought they said this was a Jedi not a nutcase!"
She almost collapsed. Her legs were funny.
"Hey, what's wrong?!"
She continued to giggle. "I'm so," she laughed. "So thirsty."
"Oh wonderful we have a dehydrated Jedi. This'll be fun."
Ahsoka relaxed her body, she was so tired. Someone cursed, and suddenly she was lifted and floating. She heard the sound of a loud ship. Her mind connected the sound to a Gunship. A Gunship? We're they in a battle zone?
Someone started yelling. She heard the sound of blasters being fired. They were in a battle zone. She hoped the Clones were winning.
Ahsoka's body was jolted hard, and her neck snapped up.
"Ow!" She exclaimed. That hadn't been very nice.
More blasters fired, and she heard the sound of a lightsaber. The Generals must be fighting. That was a good thing. The Generals were good at fighting. Ahsoka heard a thump near her head, and realized her eyes were closed. She pried them open best she could.
There were bright lights everywhere. The sky, the ground, the men. She rolled over to stand, but only managed to throw up into the sand that was burning her. Funny how she just noticed.
She struggled to get to her feet. The Generals would need her help, Padawan or not she was a good fighter. She grunted with the effort to raise her body, and collapsed. Angrily she closed her eyes and focused on making her limbs work. They wouldn't move. They were just too weak.
Strong arms supported her then. Lifting her out of the blistering sea and leading her away.
"Snips?" A familiar caring voice filled her mind with confusion. He couldn't be here.
"Snips? Wake up! Please your scaring me." It was his voice.
She managed to open them to slits. "Master Skywalker?"
A blurry face was above her. She couldn't make it out.
"Anakin?" Her eyes fell closed, stomach churning and she vomited again.
"Snips I'm going to help you okay? Your going to be fine."
"Yes Master." She mumbled. She trusted him, she knew he was telling the truth. He always....cared....
She slipped into oblivion.
~
~ ~
So this was a lot of thinking this chapter. Pretty heavy stuff if you ask me. I just thought I needed to drive home some of the crazy things that she had suddenly realized, remembered, feared. I don't want to make her seem weak. Cause we all know she isn't. But she isn't perfect, and come on imagine this is you. And all the horrible truths you've ever accepted are lies or even worse truths than they were at the beginning. Anyways I'm rambling :P but I just figured I needed to show the struggles she was having more clearly. I hope it worked and I hope you guys loved this! I truly love you all. Honestly you have no idea how much I appreciate you guys! :) Well! Till next chapter!!! Thanks!