Sitting in the living room I look around seeing photos of Trey and Paris. Seeing her smile reminded me of how awful of a friend I've been.
Bringing back all the feeling I swallowed in the cab before I rang the door bell for their apartment.
THEIR apartment. Where she's living with someone else. We came here together and to see it end, and end this badly? Not at all the way I thought we would breakup-if we ever did.
"So-how have you been?" I asked.
The only reason she let me come in was because Trey was leaving and she thought it would be rude, but well deserved, if she slammed the door in my face. I was shocked that she let me in, but I believe her reasoning-she told me before she let me in.
"I'm fine, me and Trey are great! Love living here, me ad my man. I don't have to worry about someone under my own roof getting bored with their man an switching it up, Roth under my nose!" She said harshly looking at her nails then at me with a deadly glare.
Looking back her then, letting my eyes rest on the breathtaking view of the city she had going up her staircase. A small chuckle escaped my mouth thinking back on all the times I've watched us fight and argue and make up. Unfortunately, it didn't feel like this would be one of those times.
"If you're going to laugh instead of apologize, the you need to bounce. I don't wanna fucking be near you-just looking at you pisses me off!" She raged, storming off towards the door.
"FINE IM SORRY!!!" I blurted out. Knowing that when she got angry enough, my apology would be nothing but a bulb of words with no sentiments.
"You're sorry...you're sorry?! Sorry for what?" She challenged, she wanted it through and through. Half-assing is not in her nature.
"What happened at the club was not my-" I tried clearing up my act, but only digging myself into a bigger hole.
"That! That right there is your problem! You never want to take responsibility! We are grown ass women, and you still don't want to admit when you're wrong! What's Chris did-I understand you had no control over that. But leading both of them on like that? That shit was totally unnecessary and sloppy. It only made you look bad. Have you noticed everyone else but you came out fine. Hefa is hurt, but his career is still in tact. He's actually been contacted by Bieber's people. If Chris doesn't keep him-he'll get picked right up. But you? You're just messy, broke hearts, got yours shattered and still won't apologize! When will you learn!? The world doesn't rise a shine on your ass!"
Chest rising and falling, she stood in front of me. Waiting for an answer. Letting each of her words hit me, I sat on the couch putting them together, gazing at the floor.
Saying the first thing that came to mind, I replied.
"You're right. I haven't been thinking of how other people would be affected. As much as I wouldn't admit it, the fame got addictive. Always seeing people retweet me or seeing us at parties because of who we rolled with. I liked seeing that someone saw me. They liked me-even of it was because I was dating either Chris or Hefa.
Scandals always got the best of people, I thought I could-maybe-be the one exception. I just wanted to be liked. Being around the Ristie, Marv, Wal and Hefa-they liked me because I was being me. That's only something I've had with you." I looked at her hoping she would understand. I didn't say all that to get the sympathy look she was lending me-watching my face fall she quickly changed her expression to one of understanding.
I continued, "You were my best friend, you talked me into coming here with you. Without you I'd probably still be in Cali with my parents. You gave me the courage to take matters into my own hand and do what I wanted with them. So if we end our years of friendship-I just want you to know I love and and I'm sorry for make us end this way." My last words were almost stuck in my throat from the tears that released from my eyes.
Sniffling, I looked up to see her rubbing here eyes with the palm of her hand. If there was one thing, Paris never did-crying was it.
"Ohmigod, are-are you crying Paris?" I asked needing conformation that this was really happening.
"YES! And it's your fault you fucking asshole!" She yelled laughing at the same time as she sniffles and rubbed her eyes red and raw. Crying herself to a hiccup, she walked over to me and hugged me.
"I hate you for making me cry, but I still love you. I forgive you." She said into my shoulder.
Laughing too, I hugged her back, saying a silent prayer in my head-thanking God for my sister back.