A/N: I hope you like it, even though it shifts between characters. (Also read my new story Chemical :) )
Happy reading x)
Chapter 34 – We're not pretending anymore
Anton is sitting on his bed and staring at the floor. He's shaking his leg nervously, while clutching the paper in his hand; it's already crumpled. It's the poem. He's supposed to meet up with Shay, but he feels numb. The bed next to his is empty and has been for a while. His mind feels empty too. He has been thinking about everything over and over, but still doesn't seem to be able to make things work.
He knows that Shay and Evan have talked, but he hasn't spoken about wanting to know what they've discussed. He has always turned Shay away.
He unfolds the paper and sighs. It's time to read it again.
Evan opens his eyes and rubs sleep out of them. Lorcan is sleeping next to him on his stomach. Evan smiles and gives Lorcan's shoulder a peck. Evan leans back and bites his lip. He's thinking whether he should wake the boy or not. He is hoping it won't be awkward.
He stands up and tears a piece of paper from his notebook and leaves a note saying that he's gone to take a shower. He grabs a towel, his toothbrush and toothpaste and leaves the room quietly.
After he's taken a shower, he goes to the sink to brush his teeth. He tilts his head and sees a red mark on his neck. Evan chuckles and shakes his head. Memories of Lorcan giving him a hickey rush back and he tightens his grip around the sink's edge to keep calm.
It's too early for anyone else to be in the bathroom. Evan woke up early. He spits the paste and gargles water before he spits it out as well. He looks up at his reflection and smiles to see his pearly whites.
The door opens and Evan looks to his left. "Morning," Lorcan says leaning against the doorframe. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles lazily.
"I didn't mean to wake you up," Evan says, resting his hands on both sides of the sink, leaning in.
"You didn't," Lorcan replies and lets his gaze trail down Evan's body. "You already showered?"
Evan nods, pressing his lips together to keep from smiling.
"Damn," Lorcan mumbles and tilts his head back. Evan remembers how last night Lorcan's neck was covered by Evan's mouth. "Well, I had a great time last night." Evan tightens his grip, his nails making clicking sounds against the sink. "Why do you still seem so tense?" Lorcan brightens up and pushes himself off the doorframe. He walks to Evan, their faces close.
"I'm not, I'm tired," Evan lies, staring into Lorcan's eyes.
"Oh?" Lorcan cocks an eyebrow. His eyes travel to Evan's lips, then neck, then the crook of his shoulder, then down his arm until finally he looks at Evan's hand. "Why are your knuckles white, then?"
"I'm naturally pale," Evan says.
"Liar," Lorcan snickers and grabs Evan's wrist. He moves swiftly and turns Evan around. Lorcan presses his body against Evan's who is leaning slightly back over the sink. Lorcan's holding both of Evan's hands in place. "You seem scared."
"More like aware." Evan bites his lip; Lorcan draws a breath through his slightly open mouth.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" Lorcan asks, a grin forms on his lips. Why do you even ask, moron, of course I do, Evan thinks, but doesn't reply.
A guy walks in with flip-flops on and a towel over his shoulder. He glances at them, but then walks on. Lorcan steps back from Evan. "I guess I should take a shower," he mumbles; Evan nods, biting the insides of his cheeks. Lorcan has that arrogant look on his face again, as if he were the boss. "So whatever. See you." Evan takes his stuff and glances back at the door. Lorcan is staring at the other guy. "What?" he snaps and takes the towel off around his waist.
Evan quickly looks away and walks back to his room. He can finally breathe.
I wake up with a headache so strong that I can't even open my eyes properly, because every move makes me wince. People are scattered around humming or sleeping or snoring. Somehow I crawl to the kitchen; somehow I stand up looking for support from every piece of furniture that there is. I feel my phone vibrating in my jean pocket, but ignore it. Instead I let water spill into the glass and then I drink it.
When there's some clearance in my head, then I start looking for pills to lessen the throbbing pain in my head. This is not fun. No parties. From now on I'll behave. Honestly, just please let the pain go away. I don't want this. Is anybody there? Please turn the volume down. The pain is so loud in my head.
I groan.
Abby appears next to me and takes my hand. She drops pills into my palm and smiles. "I was worried where you'd gone. I told you I'd be back, but when I returned, you were already gone," she explains and leans against the sink. So I guess I didn't remember that conversation she was talking about. Maybe I had blacked out while she was searching for the headache pills.
I swallow the pills and gulp down more water. "You went crazy last night," she chuckles at the memory. "I tried to stop you, but you kept disappearing and then reappearing even drunker." Abby brushes a strand of hair from her face. "Of course I tried to tell you that Evan had left, but you kept looking for him and finally I found you at this table, beer in front of you." She motions for the kitchen table.
"You looked after me?" I ask and wince immediately because of the pain. Words feel funny in my mouth like I haven't spoken in ages.
"Yeah, dude," Abby says as if it were obvious. "Don't think you'd get so easily rid of me." She laughs. "You were talking about your boy the whole night, texting him and whatnot. Mostly voicemails. I was entertained, not to brag."
"What?" I frown, but even that hurts my head. "I did what?"
"Anton," she says. "You were trying to apologize or something. Then I took your phone away, but you somehow got it back." She pats my shoulder. "Don't worry, buddy."
I had called him? Worse, I had texted him. Fuck, what was I going to do now? How was I going to face him, or ignore him? I had just got myself into a big mess. To top it off, I was suffering from a headache.
"Should we get all those people out of the house?" I ask, but Abby shrugs.
"Let them be. It was a wild night, they deserve some rest," she says and glances at me. "Maybe you should get some sleep. And give your phone, so you won't go fixing the damage you did. You'll only make it worse." I agree, so I give her my phone. She promises to keep it safe.
Shay has picked a table at the library, so Anton doesn't have to decide for himself. He probably wouldn't be able to. Shay waves at him, bright smile on her face. She looks beautiful. She's perfect for having the nerve to pretend.
Anton takes the seat across from her and leans in, chin rested on his folded hands. Shay closes the book she was reading and sighs. "So your phone wouldn't shut up the whole night," she begins and slides Anton his phone. "Next time, don't leave it here." They had been at the library yesterday, too.
"What are you talking about?" He's confused, but then looks at his phone. There a lot of missed calls, voicemails and texts.
"Well, are you going to answer him?" she asks while putting her hair up in a ponytail. "He seems eager."
Anton frowns and then looks who the texts are from. The name he sees wasn't the one he expected to see – Howard. "Why would he call me, though?"
"And text," Shay adds. "I'm positive he was at Jocelyn's last night, probably drunk." She smiles and runs fingers along the letters of the title on the book. "So you were his only thought."
Part of Anton wants to smile, the other is worried. What has changed? Was it the poem? He stares at his phone, not knowing what to do or say.
"You should probably call him back, or wait. He might feel embarrassed. I know I would."
"You think he'd be embarrassed?" Anton wonders, biting his lower lip nervously. "Why, though?"
"Because he lost control," Shay says, smirking. "Despite the fact that I'm basically your girlfriend, he still reached out for you."
Anton looks at Shay. "Do you think it's time we put an end to our relationship?"
"You don't want to be friends anymore?" Shay shots him a look.
"I didn't mean that!" he quickly protests.
"I know," Shay laughs. "I guess I'll miss being your fake-girlfriend...but it's for the greater good."
"Thanks," Anton sighs. "I really mean it."
She takes his hand and nods. "I know you do, baby."