[that video on the side/top makes me so happy]
A lot of things have happened during the past three weeks.
Michael was still in a coma and neither of the boys wanted to tell each other, but they were losing more hope everyday that he wasn't awake. They each thought that they were the only ones who felt that way when truth is, they all did. Calum was secretly waiting for the moment when the doctor told him that Michael didn't make it, Luke was praying that he would wake up soon but had a feeling he wouldn't and Ashton also had a feeling he wouldn't make it but couldn't admit it to himself. He didn't want to think of a life without Michael Clifford. His best friend of 5 years, almost 6.
Every time Calum told the boys he thought he'd wake up, he lied. He wanted them to have hope, but he couldn't himself. Every other person would think its stupid that he's lying to his friends, when really he's actually doing it for their own good. He knows Luke is still having a hard time coping with his brothers death and he honestly needed him to have faith when Calum didn't. He didn't want him thinking about the worst case scenario. And even though Ashton won't admit it, he knows there's something going on with him too. Calum felt like an outsider since Ashton hasn't talked to him about it. Isn't that what friends are for? It hurt but Calum didn't ask him about it and just left it be.
Calum cares about Ash and Luke more than himself and he just wanted them happy.
Knowing they weren't happy made Calum not happy. That's kind of the thing with friendships. But there was one thing coming up that hoped it'd make Ashton and Luke at least a little more happier and that being the concert. The two were flying to LA early tomorrow morning so Luke was spending the night at Ashton's tonight. Calum and Luke were planning on spending the day together today to do some shopping and just hang out for a few hours until Luke went to Ashton's and Calum went back to the hospital.
"Calum?" Luke asked quietly, making sure the people who walked past them in the mall didn't hear him. Calum hummed, a band shirt catching his eye and he quickly walked over to it. As he waited for Luke to ask whatever he was going to, he skimmed through the clothing rack and grabbed out his size and walked towards the counter, Luke following behind.
"Uh- I need condoms.." Luke said awkwardly and Calum choked as he reached the counter. He gave Luke a stern look and the blonde rolled his eyes while Calum was paying for his shirt. After Calum payed, he smiled at the nice lady and grabbed his bag and Luke's arm, pulling him out of the shop.
"You need what?!" Calum whisper-yelled, glancing around to see if anyone was listening.
"Condoms? And lube?" Luke felt his cheeks heat up and he sighed.
"Luke.. Do you really think that's a good idea?" Calum lowered his voice, seeing how hesitant Luke looked.
"We've been official for over a month, I know it may seem a little early to you but it feels right.. And if he doesn't feel ready than that's fine. I won't pressure him." Calum saw Luke's hopeful eyes and he sighed before saying,
"Fine. I'll come with you, but I'm not buying it for you. You can do that yourself," Luke grinned and pulled Calum into a hug, swaying from side to side. Calum's eyes widened, returning the hug and awkwardly patted his back. Luke hastily pulled out of the hug and grabbed Calum's hand, running towards the pharmacy. He didn't know why he was so eager to buy lube and condoms but he was.
When they reached the pharmacy, Luke and Calum walked around trying to find where the lube and condoms were. They decided to split up and thus, the two made it their mission which was kind of like a military operation. Calum let out a breath of relief, seeing the lube right in front of him and condoms next to it.
"Luke," Calum whispered and Luke ducked around the corner. Calum pointed to the lube and Luke walked over, examining all of the different types of flavours.
"Do you know what flavour Ashton would like?" Luke questioned.
Calum scoffed, "What makes you think I'd know?"
"I don't know," Luke interjected. "You're his best friend, I just thought you'd have some idea."
Calum shrugged and picked up a bottle and handed it to Luke, "Try this."
"Glow in the dark? Calum, are you serious. My dick will glow." Calum pursed his lips as a lady with a child walked past and gave them disgusted looks. Luke's eyes widened, trying not to laugh and when the lady left Calum snorted and Luke started cackling. Calum wiped his teary eyes from laughing so much and grabbed the previous bottle from Luke and swapped it with a cherry flavoured one.
"Cherry? It's not like he's gonna be fucking tasting it. Do you even know how this works?"
"I'm not stupid," Calum retorted. "Theres a dick, there's a hole. It's called common sense mother fucker, I'm out." Luke rolled his eyes and snatched up a condom before walking towards the counter.
"Plus, you're the one who asked me what flavour he'd like."
"Yeah, I'm only just realising how stupid that question was." Luke replied, placing the lube and condom in front of the bored looking lady at the counter. Calum looked embarrassed and to be honest, Luke was too a bit. He knew he shouldn't be, however he couldn't help it. After paying for the items, she put them in a bag and the two boys got out of there as fast as they could.
"Thanks for coming with me." Luke applauded, smiling at the raven-haired boy.
"It's not a big deal. I know how much he means to you and Ashton is my best friend after all, I just want him to have the best in the world. That's why I'm glad he has you." Calum said honestly and Luke felt his heart swell at the compliment.
"That really means a lot.. I've actually never felt so loved in my life until I got here- Ashton, he just makes me feel so... I don't know. He makes me feel strong and he also makes me feel weak. Not weak as in he hurts me, he would never do that. But, you know.."
Calum nodded in understanding. "I do. Yeah."
"I've never felt like this before- I love him so much. I don't know where I'd be if he wasn't in my life. I mean, my life was good before but now it's better. Fuck- I find it so hard to express my feelings. I just need him to know how much I love him, that's why.."
"You seem to be doing a pretty good job, he knows you love him. It's just sometimes he feels.. I don't know, I guess... Insecure?"
"I know he does, I don't like it. I don't want him feeling that way. He needs to know that it's him."
"Everything you said to me just now, tell him. Just tell him how you feel."
Luke nodded, smiling a little. "He's the only one I want. The only one I'll ever want. I want to spend my life with him."
Calum looked at his new best friend, seeing how happy he was because of Ashton made him truly smile. They needed each other more than anything, they loved each other. He can see it in their eyes when they look at one another. Despite how cheesy it sounds, they were made for each other. Calum wanted Luke happy and he wanted Ashton happy, the way they're happy is with each other.
"If Michael doesn't get through this," Luke said suddenly and Calum's face fell. "I need you to be there for Ashton. Obviously I will be too, but it helps to have a friend as well. And you're his best friend so I know you'll definitely be there." Luke choked, as he unlocked his Mum's car. Calum only nodded, not wanting to say anything just in case he started crying.
"I care about him more than myself and I need him to be happy." A tear rolled down Luke's cheek, he leaned his head on the steering wheel and Calum placed his hand on Luke's knee.
"He'll be okay," Calum lied. "He has to." As soon as Calum said that, Luke let out a dry sob and soon after, Calum did too.
-
After Luke dropped Calum off at the hospital, he drove himself back home. He sent Ashton a quick text saying that he was home and he was just packing a few things. They were only going for a day so there was no need for him to take his whole wardrobe. And so he just put his outfit in for the concert and a few pairs of sweat pants and shirts to relax in. He quickly rushed to the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush hair brush and hair jell before placing them on top of his clothes. He also chucked in his phone charger, double checking the lube and condoms and zipped it up, exiting the room. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he placed his suitcase by the door and walked into the living room, sitting next to Liz on the couch.
For a while until Ashton arrived, Liz was talking to him about safety precautions and just being her over protective self. She was happy that him and Ashton were getting away and doing something fun together, but she also needed him to be safe. She knew what was going on in her sons life unlike some mothers of teens. Luke obviously had to tell her about Michael when she came to the hospital to pick him up. She also knew that he snuck out at 3AM to go back and see Ashton, she wasn't too happy about it however she knew he must have been upset and so she let it slide. She still gave him a lecture though.
Luke quickly jumped up and bolted towards the door when hearing the doorbell. He opened it and straight away engulfed his beautiful boyfriend into a hug. Kissing his cheeks and lips repeatedly and Ashton captured the blonde's lips in his, smiling and giggling and he was just so happy to see him. Ashton hiccuped in Luke's mouth, making him laugh and Ashton blushed.
"You got your cast off!" Luke exclaimed, dragging the glasses-wearing boy inside and into the living room where Liz was. Liz beamed, standing and pulling Ashton into a hug.
Ashton smiled, showing his beautiful teeth and Luke just looked at him in awe. He loved that his Mum was so fond of his boyfriend and he also loved that Ashton was so polite to her. He just loved Ashton, really. After a few more minutes of Liz going through safety precautions with Ashton, (she knew Anne would obviously talk to him about it but whatever.) Luke and Liz said their goodbyes and the two boyfriends made their way out to Ashton's car. Him being a gentleman and putting Luke's suitcase in the back for him.
On the way back to Ashton's, the two had their fingers intertwined and for once, Ashton felt happy. He was smiling as he glanced over at his boyfriend who was also smiling and leaning his head against the window. Ashton was excited for the concert, he wanted Luke to have a good time and he wanted to have a good time himself too. They needed it after these last few weeks. It's been tough on all of them, Ashton just couldn't believe that Karen still hasn't came to see Michael. He seriously deserves better. He's been out for 3 weeks and she hasn't even had the decency to check on him.
Ashton began to tense and the blonde noticed as he squeezed Luke's hand tighter, not realising what he was doing.
"Are you okay?" Luke asked, sounding concerned and Ashton looked towards him, removing his hand and putting it on the steering wheel.
"I'm fine." Ashton lied.
"That's the biggest lie in the book," Luke huffed, leaning back against the car seat. "You don't have to use it on me."
Ashton sighed, stopping at a red light. "It just pisses me off how Michael's Mum hasn't even bothered to check on him and he's been out for 3 weeks now. How fucked up is that?" Ashton grumbled, shaking his head in disappointment.
"It is, he deserves better." Luke said, grabbing Ashton by the hand and kissing it. "Try not to think about it, please? Michael would want us to enjoy ourselves. I don't know him all that well, but I know he'd want you to be happy."
"You're saying it like he's actually going to die."
"No, I-I'm not?"
"You are,"
Luke stayed quiet for the rest of the ride to Ashton's house and when they arrived, it was almost 6. Anne just ordered pizza because frankly, she was too lazy but they didn't mind, seeing as though they loved pizza. They took quick showers and watched a few movies, throwing popcorn at one another when the other wasn't looking. It ended up with them having a tickle fight, causing Luke to burst into a fit of laughter when Ashton rolled off the bed. He pouted but Luke just straddled him and kissed it away, much to his dismay it worked.
And when it was around 10, they just layed in bed next to each other, listening to Sleeping With Sirens and getting pumped for the concert until Ashton started to doze off and Luke quickly put his breathing mask over his face after kissing him gently on the lips. Luke took the ear buds out of Ashton's ears, seeing he was now asleep and placed them in his own. He moved closer to Ashton and the brown-haired boy snuggled into his side.
Sometimes it's a battle
At times it's a war
But you're never defenceless
Sometimes we all lose strength
Please don't lose your faith, in me
[a/n wtf that song was relevant I'm crying. wow, this is ending soon I can't even deal. ]