Blood.
Ew.
I wrinkled my nose in disgust, holding my arm out away from me. Badr had seated me down on my bed and disappeared with Yassin, warning me not to move. He'd spoken slowly and clearly as though I was terrified.
The truth was
I wasn't exactly scared.
Perhaps it was the shock and absurdity of the whole night that meant it wasn't exactly sinking in yet. All I wanted to do was to detach the words from my arm and crawl into my bed to sleep. I was exhausted and my arm was starting to burn.
I wanted Mama back.
She'd have me fixed and tucked in within minutes. And now we were so far apart, both of us hurt.
I allowed myself to look at the cuts again and gingerly prodded the tender skin around them, wincing as tingles of pain ran up my arm. Pounding of feet on the stairs announced Badr's arrival and I hastily dropped my hand.
He wordlessly sat down next to me on the bed, setting down a first aid kit and flicking it open. He must have done this often because his fingers found everything quickly.
He reached for my arm and I moved away, not meeting his eyes.
"I can do it myself"
Like hell I could, but I wasn't about to tell him that.
He sighed and stared at me for a few moments, his eyes narrowed. Then he stood back up and disappeared through the door. I listened attentively. He was rummaging around in my wardrobe.
"What are you-" I started angrily as he stepped back inside but my word were cut short.
Badr had brought a hijab.
My throat tightened as he moved closer and slowly draped it over my hair, putting a lose end around my neck and pushing back a strand of hair that had escaped.
His expression was soft, and those amber brown eyes were warm. He didn't look like the Badr less than an hour ago.
He didn't look like a killer.
"May I?"
I nodded, heat rushing to my cheeks. Badr worked in silence. His hands were uncharacteristically gentle, and he always paused if I winced, making sure I was okay.
"Are you okay?" I asked after five minutes of very awkward silence. He glanced up at me, amused.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I shrugged and looked away.
"No I'm not" he said with a sigh, all amusement gone, "I have to stop myself from going after the guy who did this to you every five minutes"
"What would you do to him? Shoot him?"
He paused, his hands still on mine but not moving.
"Why shouldn't I shoot him?" He said in a low voice, "on what basis should I let him live? So he can come and write us another message on your skin?"
"On what basis do you think you can decide when someone should live or die?!" I shot back, "have you ever tried being merciful before?"
" do you know what people do if you let them go? THEY SHOOT YOU IN THE BACK!"
"It doesn't-"
That dizziness swept over me again and I put a hand to my head, waiting for the pain to come back.
"Laila? What happened- are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just want to-argh!"
Yep. The pain was back.
A terrible thought struck me- what if I had a tumor? Although the pain felt like it was coming from the center of my head it was highly possible in my limited medical knowledge.
I felt strong hands take my upper arms and gently but firmly push me in bed, whipping out the covers from under me and laying them on top. My vision was blurry and darkness was quickly approaching.
"Go to sleep" Badr said softly, "you're exhausted"
I wanted to tell him this dizziness wasn't because I was exhausted and I needed a doctor but my eyes were drooping shut themselves and soon I was well into darkness.