Harry's POV
Watching my girlfriend and my daughter meeting for the first time was now my favourite sight in the world. Jen smiling at Mia filled my heart with another level of love I didn't even know existed.
"Mia this is your mummy," I whispered to my daughter, "Can you say hi to mummy?" I watched her big eyes looking around as she squirmed in my arms.
Jen turned her face away as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
"Jen?" I tried to regain her attention, confused as to why her eyes were closing.
"Nate, is she meant to be falling asleep?" I tried to get his attention, bringing Mia up to my chest. He didn't respond to me, he started calling out instructions to the other nurses and surgeons.
"Nate what's happening?" I called out again, watching two of the nurses run over to Jen, removing the airway tube from her.
"There's a lot of bleeding going on," Nate called out to his team.
"What is going on?" I screamed, just wanting someone to explain what the f*ck was happening right now.
"Mr Styles we need you to step out," one of the nurses tried to pull me away from Jen.
"Why? What is happening?" I tried to fight her off.
"We need to operate fast, she's in good hands," she tried to calm me down, taking Mia from me.
"Where are you taking my daughter?" I called out to her as she walked away.
Everyone started crowding around Jen's body, pushing me away from her. A doctor placed an oxygen mask over her face as the monitors were beeping, indicating her heart rate dropping.
"Mr Styles you need to go," a male nurse now tried to pull me from the room.
"NO! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?" I tried to fight him off, but another came to help as they forced me out of the surgery room.
"Jen!" I screamed, somehow hoping she would hear me and open her eyes. My heart was pounding, I didn't know what was happening with my girlfriend, and I had no idea where my daughter was.
The happiest moment of my entire life, had now turned into my worst nightmare and biggest fear, losing her. She couldn't leave me, not now, not when we finally had the life we deserved and were always meant to have.
"Can someone just tell me what is happening? Please!" I choked back tears, pushing my hair back in frustration of the unknown. Every second I was out here and not in there, was a second more of her slipping away from me.
"Miss Taylor lost a lot of blood during the birth..." the nurse began to explain but I completely zoned out after that, I'd missed majority of what was said, she was throwing all these medical terms at me I didn't give a shit about right now, I just wanted to know if she was going to be okay.
"Just tell me she is going to be okay," I begged her, hoping to God this was just a small mishap that could be fixed easily.
"Dr Thomas will do the best he can Mr Styles, I promise," she tried to reason with me, but that wasn't the answer I wanted.
"Can she die?" I asked her.
"There's no need to think of the worst case scenario, she's in good hands," she avoided answering.
"TELL ME IF IT IS POSSIBLE SHE WON'T MAKE IT!" I screamed, making her jump at my my aggression.
"It's a possibility, but you shouldn't think that way. As soon as I get word on how she is I will let you know. For now it's best to join your family in the waiting room, and i'll give you word as soon as I get it."
"What about my little girl? Where is she?"
"The nurses are taking care of her, making sure she's healthy and normal. You can see her again soon," she rubbed my arm, walking away back into the surgery room.
Why was this happening? This isn't how it was meant to be. Jen was meant to be fine, she was meant to be happy and enjoying her first moments as a mum. She wasn't meant to leave me and our daughter, I refused to believe this was how it would all end.
I couldn't even move, I couldn't bring myself to walk away from that door, because walking away was potentially walking away from her for good. I couldn't handle this, this pain and fear was too much, I didn't know how anyone survived through this feeling.
I had to pull myself together long enough to tell her parents what was happening, I knew I loved her with all of me, and this would be my greatest loss, but this was their daughter, they had to know what was happening.
How the f*ck was I meant to tell a mother her child may potentially die? How was I meant to be happy my child was finally in the world, then in the next breath say it was potentially at the expense of her mother's life. This wasn't Mia's fault, no matter what she was still my biggest blessing, but I wanted them both, like how it was meant to be.
I wiped my face, walking into the waiting room to see her parents, Angus, Gemma, Sam and my mum.
Lauren had her arm around the woman I had seen earlier, she was crying, and I still had no idea who she was or what she had to do with Lauren.
"Harry, what's the news?" My mum jumped up when she saw me, everyone's heads then turned to look at me.
"It's a girl...Mia," I tried to muster up the smallest smile I could.
"Congratulations baby," mum hugged me tightly, followed by Ryan and Lauren.
"Congrats little bro, when can we see her?" Gemma hugged me next.
"Soon...something's happened," I began to cry again, barely being able to breathe through this.
"With who? Is the baby okay?" Ryan asked.
"They're making sure the baby is okay, it's Jen," I managed to answer.
"What's wrong with my daughter?" Lauren looked at me in a panic, clutching on to Ryan's arm waiting for me to answer.
Her brown eyes reminded me of Jen's, full of expression, you could read her thoughts just by looking into them. How was I meant to look at her and not fall to pieces right now? How was I meant to look at her ever again if something went wrong, and not think of the love of my life?
"Harry please, tell me what's wrong with my little girl!" She begged me to explain what was going on.
"I don't know, one minute she was fine then the next she was unconscious, her heart rate dropped, she was losing blood, and they pushed me out of the room. I know nothing, they can't even tell me if she will pull though," rage took over me now, and I kicked the trash can next to me, squatting down to the ground, pulling at my hair.
I couldn't look at Lauren anymore, every word I said I could see a small part of her breaking even more as Ryan tried to comfort her. I could hear her crying out in misery, I couldn't take it, I had to go.
"Harry mate, she'll be okay," Angus tried to comfort me, but I wasn't having it.
"Get off me," I pushed him off, storming out of the hospital to the open car park.
"F*CK," I screamed, falling to the ground in the worst emotional state I had ever been in. This feeling was worse than the feeling of just breaking up with her, it was pure torture.
I knew I had to be hopeful, but I also knew something like this was going to happen. I'd read the horror stories, I wished I wouldn't be living through them, but I was. I just wanted my girlfriend to be okay, I wanted my baby to be okay, I wanted everything to f*cking be okay but it wasn't.
"Harry," a small voice came from next to me. I could feel her sit beside me, I hoped it wasn't a fan or something I couldn't handle it.
I took a side glance and saw Sam wiping her tears away, remaining silent until I was ready to say something. What was I meant to say to her? She'd grown up her whole life with her, it was her big sister, if something had ever happened to Gemma I would be completely beside myself like I was now.
"I can't lose her Sam, I refuse to believe someone up there would punish me this cruelly to take her from me," I sighed, letting my emotions settle for the time being.
"I can't lose her either Harry, all my life I've looked up to her. She's been there through everything in my life, she's my best friend. I take her for granted all the time, I fight her on things that I shouldn't, I act so ungrateful when all she tries to do is look out for me.
This was always our plan, since we were little we planned our futures out. We'd live together, we'd both marry big rich successful men, our kids would be best friends, we would be each maid's of honour, travel the world together, she'd be the big TV presenter and I'd be the big time event planner in LA.
We were meant to do so many things together still, but now I just feel like it's all being taken away from me. I don't want to do any of that without my sister," she started crying harder, and my only instinct was to pull her into me, and let her cry as much as she wanted.
"We can't talk like she's already gone Sam, I'm scared shitless right now, but we can't put ourselves through this. She's going to pull through, my Jen has never walked away from anything without a fight, she's not going to start now."
I had to believe what I was saying, my only other option was to give up hope and I wasn't about to do that. She wasn't going anywhere, she wouldn't do that.
"What are we supposed to do Harry? I don't want to go back in there, my mum is a wreck and I hardly ever see my dad crying. They're scared too, they're the ones that tell me everything is going to be okay, but they can't do that.
Today was meant to be perfect, she was so happy to see everyone. She couldn't wait to meet Mia, I know she had her moments, but she was excited to meet her, like I am.
This is such a bittersweet feeling- I'm so excited to meet my niece, but my heart is breaking every second I don't know if my sister is going to make it or not."
"You should have seen her smile when she saw Mia, that image will be engraved in my mind for the rest of my life. I was so happy in that moment, everything just felt so right.
She is so tiny, her head fits perfectly in the palm of my hand. She has the most perfect little nose and full lips like her mum, I think she has my eyes, which Jen will be happy about," I laughed at the thought of her continuously hoping our child didn't inherit her brown eyes she found so dull.
"She has some hair on her, I was surprised actually, it's dark like Jen's, she's just perfect Sam, I couldn't love her anymore than I already do," I gushed over my daughter.
She was my perfect little blessing, I couldn't wait to watch her grow, hear her call me dad for the first time, take her to the shows and have her watch me, fight off every boy that even tried to touch her, and love her so unconditionally that I would feel like my heart could burst at any second.
"You're going to be a great dad Harry, I hope you know that. God I still find it unbelievable that the guy who's poster was up on my wall, is now the father of my niece, it's crazy how life turns out."
"It is crazy...it seems like a lifetime ago that I met your sister. She was so beautiful, she had this captivating essence about her, a different kind of look to most of the girls I knew.
She had this long dark hair, pale skin, red lips, she was kind of like an edgy version of Snow White in her Rolling Stone's t-shirt. I watched her from a distance before I worked up the courage to approach her.
We didn't have the easiest of beginnings, she was certainly a challenge, but she was worth it, she still is worth it. All the heartache was worth it to know we would end up here, with a baby together.
She will pull through this Sam, I know she will. Our book isn't done yet, we still have a lifetime. I still want to see her walk down the aisle towards me, I want to see her hold our little girl in her arms, I want to see her succeed beyond what she's already accomplished, I want her face to be the last I see before I close my eyes for the last time, she can't go our story has barely even started."
Talking to Sam had calmed me down a lot, I was starting to be more hopeful everything would be fine, but I didn't want to get my hopes up only for them to come crashing down again if something did go wrong in surgery.
"You'll have all that, my sister is a fighter, she'll be okay," she nodded in agreement.
"How's everyone inside anyway?" I asked her.
"My parents are a mess obviously, your mum was with Gemma, and I was with Angus up until I came out here."
"So my sister and Angus are still not talking? Are they still playing this ridiculous game?"
"Yeah I guess, she was a little pissed at him over the press thinking I was pregnant with his baby, I guess it kind of hit home a little since, you know, her situation.
It was confronting for her to see articles about her husband having kids with someone else, while she couldn't provide them for him. I don't know Harry, the whole thing is ridiculous, if you love someone enough then you should be able to make it work no matter what."
Sam was only nineteen, but she was bloody smarter than both Angus and Gemma combined. The whole thing was ridiculous to me, and really just pissing me off right now. Here they were, healthy and married, they had each other, while I was waiting to hear if my girlfriend was going to survive or not.
It pissed me off that they were throwing their love away, I would give anything to know Jen was going to be okay. If I lost her, that would be it, I would never see her again, while those two were being stupid and taking love for granted.
"I can't sit here and think about losing my girlfriend, while those two are being f*cking idiots in there playing their stupid games," I stood up, ready to confront them both once and for all.
I stormed towards the hospital, fully aware I was about to cause a scene, but I didn't care, they deserved this, maybe I would finally get through their thick skulls.
I walked back into the building and to the waiting room, and just like Sam had said, Gemma was on one side with mum, and Angus was up against the wall on the other side, alone.
"Are you not going to comfort your husband Gemma?" I rose my voice, snapping her to attention.
"What?" She said quietly, probably hesitant to fight me back right now.
"That girl in there is not only my girlfriend, but she is his best friend, she's like his sister, could you even imagine how scared he is right now? Or do you just not care?" I continued to scold my sister.
"Harry, don't take this out on your sister she's just as upset and worried as everyone else," mum tried to calm me down.
"No mum, this is bullshit. She has a husband over there that loves her more than anything in this world, he was f*cking willing to take her back after she left him and didn't talk to him for months.
He stayed loyal to her, God knows why since she didn't give a shit at all. My girlfriend is in there fighting for her life while she is out here being a f*cking twat!"
"HARRY!" My mum snapped at me. I didn't regret a word, she deserved to hear it.
"Sometimes the truth hurts. Grow up Gemma, open your eyes and see you have a man that loves you and wants to be with you regardless of you being able to have kids or not.
You're taking love for granted, you're being a child, you're not doing what's best for anyone. Wake the f*ck up and stop being selfish for once in your life, and consider his feelings. Go back to your husband!" I finished off my rant, and stormed back off towards the loo to wash my face.
This whole day was mentally draining, and played too much on my emotions. I just needed a second alone to breathe.
I splashed the cold water on my face, clutching the sink as I took a few deep breath's in and out to calm myself down. This wasn't what Jen would have wanted, she wouldn't want me to fall apart right now, she would want me hopeful and confident in her.
I was running away from the issue, I should have been in that waiting room with her parents, waiting to hear what was happening, I shouldn't have been hiding in a hospital toilet secluding myself.
"Man up Harry," I looked at myself in the mirror, barely recognising the mess I had become.
This is how we knew love was real though- when your heart beats for another, when your emotions are controlled by another, when you physically feel sick at the thought of never seeing that one person again.
Like Jen said, we go through life finding our other half, and I knew I found mine in her. She was my prefect missing puzzle piece, and I would be damned if I ever let her slip away.
I took another breath in before leaving the toilets to confront my fears.
I turned the corner to see the doctor speaking with everyone. My heart was pounding at the sight and anxiousness to hear what she had to say.
"We did everything we could, we're so sorry," were the first and last words I heard before my world came crashing down around me.