"It's not my fault! It's not as if I do it on purpose!"
"That's not what I'm saying!"
"Then what are you saying Kate? Please, enlighten me. I can't wait to hear your insightful discourse on the finer details of how my job works!"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."
His nostrils flared and his eyes were a storm gathering over the ocean. "Thank you so much for your unwavering support and encouragement." As a horn tooted outside he gathered his things. "I'll see you tonight." I merely snorted and Tom's lips thinned into an angry line. He slammed the door closed behind him without so much as a goodbye.
"Oh that's very mature!" I called after him, stifling a scream of frustration and clenching my hands into fists to stop myself from picking something up and throwing it. An hour and two cups of tea later my frustration turned to misery at the thought of our first fight – and I knew exactly what had triggered it.
He was stressed at work and I was bored and lonely.
It wasn't just the long hours Tom had to put in regularly; I missed my friends and family too. I missed Max's irreverence and Davey's humour and support. I missed my circle of friends, small though it might be; I really just missed daily contact with other humans. Any enjoyment of my own company was definitely beginning to wane.
I sighed and picked up my phone to send Tom a text.
Kate: I'm sorry darling. I love you xx
As I hit 'Send' the phone began to ring.
"Hi Cass, what's up?"
"Kate, are you doing anything today?"
"Other than drowning in self pity, not much."
"Good, I've got the perfect solution. Can you meet me at UCLA in an hour?"
"Sure. Is anything wrong?"
"I'll tell you all about it when I see you. We're in the School of Engineering and Applied Science building – I'll text you the map. They'll tell you at the front desk where my office is."
"Okay, see you in an hour."
I made an effort to look nice, pleased to have a reason to wear something other than shorts and t-shirt for a change, and made the five mile drive in no time, arriving early. Figuring Cass wouldn't mind, I found the front desk and asked for her.
"Dr Wilson's office is down this corridor, turn right at the end, third door on your left."
"Thank you."
When I knocked on the door Cass looked up from a huge pile of paperwork. "Kate! Thank god!" She rose from her chair and came to give me a hug. "Have a seat." Once we were settled, Cass launched her surprise. "Kate, how would you like a job teaching here a couple of days a week?"
"W-what?"
"One of my colleagues suffered a mild heart attack last night. He's okay," she waved her hand at my shocked look, "but we've now got two undergrad classes without a lecturer and I think you would be the perfect person to do it."
"Cass, I've got no teaching experience!"
"I know, I know. But you've presented papers before; plus, you've probably mentored interns haven't you?"
"Yes."
"Well then. The Spring Quarter just started; instruction begins tomorrow. It's two classes – introduction to computer graphics and computer animation, both four hour lectures and I know you could do this stuff in your sleep."
"Tomorrow! Cass, I ..."
"I know I'm springing this on you at the last minute Kate, but honestly I can't think of anyone better for the job and I'd love to work with you. I'll be here to hold your hand until you find your feet – forgive the terrible metaphors – and I have access to Alan's lecture notes, so you don't have to plan everything from scratch." She paused and looked at me. "What do you say?"
"I ... I ... it's just for a few weeks, right?"
"Until Alan is back on his feet."
I took a deep, deep breath and jumped in with both feet. "I'll do it. But Cass – " I forestalled Cass's enthusiastic response, "seriously, if I completely suck at this you have to promise to fire my arse, okay?"
Cass laughed as she got up from her chair once more. "You won't suck Kate, but alright, I promise." We hugged again. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the Dean."
The next few hours were a flurry of activity as I was introduced to the Dean of Studies, shown what would be my temporary office, given lecture notes, course outlines, timetables and other administrative paperwork, whisked over to the Bursar's office to have my photo taken for ID, given a tour of the campus and shown the computer labs.
"Now, your head is probably spinning. Go home, breathe, put your feet up, have a stiff drink. Get that gorgeous movie star husband of yours to give you a massage." She accompanied that advice with a wink and a smile. "I'll see you here at eight tomorrow morning."
Her mention of Tom reminded me I hadn't checked my phone for messages once in the four hours I'd been here, so after saying goodbye to Cass and taking the course outline and lecture notes with me, I sat in the car and looked to see if he had responded to my apology.
Nothing.
Sighing, I drove slowly home, stopping on the way to pick up a bottle of my favourite red wine. I had a feeling I would need it. Dropping the papers on the unit in the entrance, I headed to the kitchen to put the wine in the fridge for later but drew up short when I found Tom standing in the lounge, an identical bottle of wine in one hand and a bunch of flowers in the other. "Darling, I'm so sorry I was such an arse."
I flew towards him, careful not to drop the bottle but determined to put my arms around him nonetheless. His own arms wrapped around me tightly as we kissed.
"What are you doing home so early?" I ran my hand over his cheek and mouth and kissed him again.
"You've been so wonderful about the late nights I've been doing, I told them I needed an early finish to make it up to you."
"Tom, that's so sweet. Thank you." I gave him another kiss. "Are those flowers behind my back for me?"
"Yes." He brought his arm around and we laughed at the sight of the bunch of daisies, now looking much worse for wear. "I guess I hugged you too tightly!"
I pressed yet another kiss to his lips. "There's no such thing as hugging me too tightly. If the flowers can't hack it, they're toast." His rich laugh made me smile properly for the first time that day. "Thank you, though, for bringing them."
"You're welcome sweetheart. Let's get the wine into the fridge so it doesn't suffer as well!"
As we snuggled in the sunroom I told Tom all about my new job.
"Darling, that's wonderful! Congratulations! You will be brilliant, I know you will."
"I'll settle for just being up to the task to begin with; maybe I'll aim for brilliant later on!" I ran my fingers through his already dishevelled curls.
"Now, what was that about me giving you a massage?"
At the husky tone in his voice a frisson of desire ran through me. "Hmm, are you up to the task Hiddles?"
"As long as it's a full body massage." He was nibbling my ear so I wasn't completely sure I had heard him correctly, but the look in his eyes told me more than enough.
"Last one to the bedroom gets to undress the other." I climbed off his lap and slanted him a look from under my eyelashes.
Smiling, he waited until I was almost at the door before following me.
---
Just before the alarm was due to go off the next morning I woke suddenly, sitting bolt upright in bed, then leapt out and raced into the bathroom, retching into the toilet bowl.
Tom followed me, smoothing my hair back from my face and handing me a facecloth when it seemed to have stopped. "Darling, you don't need to be nervous, you'll be wonderful."
"Tell that to my insides Thomas, they're churning fit to make butter."
"Shall I make you a cup of tea?" He helped me off the floor then flushed the toilet and at my nod went off to the kitchen. I showered and dressed in a pencil skirt and tailored shirt, my hair tamed into its customary plait, hoping I looked professional and not as green around the gills as I felt. I drank the tea Tom had made gratefully but turned my nose up at his offered bowl of muesli.
"Sweetheart, you need something in your stomach."
"I know but it won't look good if it ends up all over my students later on." He gave me a telling look so to appease him I said I'd grab something at campus later. Picking up the lecture notes to read over one last time, I knew I could teach this class standing on my head and that it was just nerves making me uncertain.
When Tom was dressed he came to stand behind me, his arms curling around my waist; I put my notes back down, placing my hands over his and lacing our fingers together. Leaning back against his solid strength, I took a deep breath and released it slowly.
"Kate, I'm so proud of you darling. I have complete confidence that you will be wonderful today."
"Thank you sweetheart."
"I love you."
"I love you too." I turned in his arms and kissed him just as a horn sounded outside.
"There's my ride. Break a leg darling. Call me later and tell me how it went."
I smiled at his theatrical phrase and gave him a last quick kiss. "I will love. Have a good day."
I gathered all my bits and pieces together, thinking I'd need to invest in a briefcase, and made sure I had my ID before picking up the keys and heading out the door.
Please don't let me throw up in class!