Joslynn’s POV
I needed to run, but my feet wouldn’t carry me. I needed to get out of here. I wasn’t emotionally stable to handle anything.
The room was dark, and I felt alone, though I was not alone at all. There were people everywhere, staring, talking about the current situation at hand; some smiling, some laughing, some not even seeming to care about me. I was all on my own. There was no one to turn to.
The one person of whom I’ve given my everything to is betraying me right in front of my eyes.
He’s there, acting as if I’m not even here.
“HOW COULD YOU?” I finally found myself screaming, tears streaming down my face.
They were both under a spotlight in the dark room, but you could just barely see the silhouettes of the other people around us, making a circle around the three of us, though I was quite a few feet away from the other two.
He looks up, unlocking his lips from the mystery girl. I could only see the back of her, but she had long, blonde hair, a slim figure, and she was tall. She seemed like a Barbie. She seemed better than I could ever be.
He doesn’t even look guilty. He blows me off, rolls his eyes, and he leaves me in the dust.
He walks off with this mystery girl, some people even cheering him on. Everyone in this room just witnessed him completely blow me off when I tried to talk to him and go off and kiss another girl. And now, he is leaving with her.
There were a few people giving me looks of sympathy, acting as though they were surprised at the boy’s actions.
That’s when I could finally feel my legs again. I took off and ran as fast as I could. I ran out of the room, not even knowing or caring where I was going. Soon enough, I found myself falling against a wall and down to my knees, letting out heart-wrenching sobs.
My heart had just been broken into tiny little pieces.
After I had been there, sitting against the wall, I saw two figures come up. Just by the way they had been looking at me, I know they weren’t there to hurt me. They were here to help me.
“Josie, Josie! Wake up! Josie!”
My eyes fluttered open, wondering who was telling me to wake up. I was in my room, though I could have sworn I had fallen asleep in the living room.
My face was wet and my eyes felt puffy. What the hell is happening?
I turned quickly to the person who was calling my name. Louis was there, lying beside me with a worried look on his face as he stroked my hair.
“What happened?” I asked tiredly, wiping the wetness off my face. Had I been crying in my sleep?
I then suddenly remembered the nightmare I had just been awakened from, and the tight feeling in my stomach, similar to the one in my dream, returned.
“You were crying and screaming. You were having a nightmare.”
I sat up, pushing the hair back from my face and wiping away more tears. “Sorry…yeah, I was having a nightmare. That’s all. It shouldn’t be anything to worry about, Louis.”
“You know I can’t just blow things like this off. Do you want to tell me what this nightmare was about?” He asked, pushing more hair out of my face.
I sighed, covering my face with my hands. After a few seconds of silence, I muffled, “It was about a boy.”
“What?” he asked, not hearing me the first time.
“It was about a boy,” I said more clearly.
“What about a boy?” He asked with a concerned look on his face.
I sighed and said, “It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. Tell me,” he demanded.
I sighed and said, “I had a nightmare that there was this boy, and apparently he meant a lot to me. He was with another girl, and he completely blew me off and decided he hated me and went to be with the girl. But, there were two other boys who were there to help me. I don’t know who the boy was, or who the two boys helping me were. I just know I was heartbroken.”
Louis looked at me a little shocked. “You know that no boy could ever even think about doing that to you. If they did, I would kill them. That’s never going to happen, Josie. Just remember that I love you, I always will love you, and I will never, ever do anything intentionally to hurt you.”
I sighed, kissing Louis on the cheek. “I love you. Thank you,” I said.
Louis smiled back and gave me a long hug. “I love you, too, Josie.”
After a few seconds of staying in a hug, Louis said, “You know, we should probably go back to sleep. It’s five in the morning and we don’t need to wake up until ten.”
I yawned and nodded my head and the both of us lay back down, and I found myself falling back asleep on Louis’ [shirtless] chest and in his arms, feeling much safer than I did in my nightmare.
---
“JOSLYNN! BRING DOWN THE BOX OF YOUR BOOKS!” Zayn called.
“I THOUGHT YOU GOT THEM!” I called back, groaning.
It was a very hectic morning. It was 11:30, and we were all working to get the last of my boxes on the moving truck so they can be shipped to London. I suddenly regret all of the times I said “I’ll pack later.”
I sighed, packing up the last few boxes filled with who knows what. After I had gotten all of the boxes packed up, I started to carry some down. However, before I could, Liam walked into my room and said, “Here, let me help you,” and he took the boxes right out of my hands.
“Thanks, Li,” I smiled.
“No problem, Jos,” he smiled back, leaving my room.
After Liam, Harry and Niall came to help carry some of the boxes down.
Once those three boys had helped, there were only two boxes left. I went to grab them when suddenly two muscular arms grabbed them right out of my hands. “I’ve got it,” Louis said, smiling.
I looked up at him. He was sweaty…and shirtless. My God.
Louis smirked and said, “Take a picture; it’ll last longer.”
My face went red when he said that, because I realized I had been staring.
Louis chuckled, walking out of my room with the boxes.
I stood in the middle of my room and looked around. It was bare. The curtains were stripped off the windows, my white shag rug was gone, my closet was spotless, my chairs, vanity, and dresser were nowhere to be found…the only thing left in my room was my bed, which the sheets had been stripped off of. Everything was gone.
I stood there alone, looking at it all. What happened? It seems like just yesterday I was ten years old and excited to paint my room. Now…I’m 18 and I’m about to move to London with my future boyfriend, also known as my childhood best friend.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see my mom. She was staring ahead at the emptiness in front of us. “It’s hard to believe you’re already leaving,” my mom said, not taking her eyes off the spot she was staring at.
I sighed and said, “It’s hard to believe I’m not going to live with my mommy anymore…and in a different country.”
“Please don’t remind me of how far away you’re going to be,” she said, sounding sad.
I gave my mom a side hug and said, “I know it’s hard, mom. It’s going to be hard for me, too. I’m not going to have you to come running to whenever something goes wrong…but, I’m growing up. This is only one of the first steps. I need to do this…for myself.”
I looked up and saw tears in my mom’s eyes. “I’m not ready for my baby girl to be grown up,” she said, looking down at me with a sad smile.
Seeing her so upset made me tear up, so I went in and hugged her. “I’m still your baby girl, mom. I’m always going to be your baby, whether I like it or not. That’s just the way it goes. I know I may be around the world, but you know you can always call me whenever you want to talk. And it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and probably some in the summer. I won’t be gone forever. We’ll still get to see each other.”
My mom smiled at me, tears running down her face.
“I know…but you know I worry about you…” she trailed off.
“Mom, you don’t need to worry about me doing something terribly stupid. You know why? You were the one that raised me. You were the one who taught me right from wrong and taught me how to think for myself and form my own beliefs and opinions. I’m smart enough and strong enough to survive out there, mom. After all, you were the one who taught me how. I may make the occasional stupid move, but I know when I need to come to terms with myself. You’ve raised me well.”
My mom nodded her head, tears continuing to stream down her face. “You know I’m always going to worry about you, darling. You’re my baby. But don’t act as if I’ve never made a mistake before in my parenting, because I know I have—” I cut her off.
“Everyone messes up, mom. However, you did a hell of a job at raising me. You were the best mom any person could ask for. You did it alone. You were there with me through everything. This shows me how much of a strong and independent woman you are…you should trust that I can be the same.”
My mom smiled at me and pulled me into another hug, sniffling and wiping her tears away. “You are such a kind, caring, strong, independent, and beautiful young woman. I’m so lucky to have you as my daughter, Joslynn. It’s going to be hard for me at first, but I’ll make it. Just…promise me that you won’t forget about what truly matters to you. Don’t get caught up in the boys’ fame. I know it never was a problem, but things are going to be different now. You’re going to be living with them and pictured with them everywhere. Just remember to appreciate what you have in front of you and ignore any stupid things the media says, because home and the people who you’ve always had around you is what should matter to you most.”
I quickly nodded my head, wiping the remainder of my tears away. “I promise, Mom. I couldn’t let fame get to my head if it certainly hasn’t gotten to the boys’. I’ll do my best, Mom. All I want to do is make you proud.”
My mom smiled and hugged me one more time and said, “I love you, Joslynn.”
“I love you, too, Momma.”
---
“You know, it’s totally not fair that you get to jet off to some foreign country to live with your boyfriend and his band mates,” Jacqueline said.
“Okay, one, Louis is not my boyfriend, two, his band mates are practically apes, and three, I wouldn’t consider it ‘jetting off’ if I’m flying on a standard airplane in coach,” I said.
Jacqueline rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air while saying, “Details, details…”
I laughed, continuing to flip through channels on my TV. I didn’t have to be at the airport until 9:00 PM, because our flight left at 11:00. It was a late flight, but it’s also an eleven hour flight, so I wouldn’t be in London until 6:00 PM British time. (10:00 AM LA time.) It was only 5:00, so Jacqueline and I decided to hang out alone before I left.
After about 30 minutes of flipping through random TV channels, it was time for us to leave to go out to dinner with Eden, McKenna, and Kayla. We don’t hang out with Kayla a lot, but we decided to since I was leaving.
Jacqueline and I arrived at Olive Garden at about 6:30. When we walked in, the other girls were waiting in the front. When they saw us, they all ran up and hugged us. “Hey, guys!” McKenna said, giving Jacqueline and me a hug.
After we had shared our greetings, we went and got our table. We all made our way to the left side of the restaurant in the very back. We were all sat at a booth, and our waiter handed us our menus before saying something about being back to take our orders.
After all of us girls decided on what to eat and after we had our orders taken, we all began to chat. “So, are you excited to be leaving in a few hours?” Kayla asked me, taking a sip of her coke.
“I am excited…though I am also very nervous, ya know?” I said.
Kayla nodded her head and said, “I get it. You’re nervous about moving away from all of this,” she said, looking around, gesturing to everything back here at home.
I nodded my head and Eden added, “She’s probably also worried about the fact that she will be living with primates from now on…I feel so bad for her mother; having to constantly deal with the worry of her daughter living with animals,” making us all laugh.
“Oh, I’m sure they’re not too bad. Then again, I’ve only met Louis once or twice. I’ve never met the other boys,” Kayla said.
I laughed a bit and said, “Boy, you are missing out. We’re going to have to Skype when I’m gone so you can meet them!”
“Definitely,” Kayla agreed.
“So, you realize you’re not going to be able to drive anywhere you want when you get there, right?” Jacqueline asked, earning a confused look from me.
“You do realize that driving in Europe is extremely different from driving in the US, and you’re going to have to take another driving test,” she said.
“You’re kidding,” I said, groaning. I didn’t feel like taking another driving test. Those things suck.
All of the girls laughed and McKenna added, “Sucks to suck.”
“Shut it,” I playfully snapped, making the girls laugh.
We talked about random things the rest of dinner, ranging from London’s weather to how often the boys bathe. You could say it was definitely an interesting conversation we had.
At about 8:00, it was time for us to head our separate ways. We all went outside the restaurant and we all stood there silently for a moment or so, realizing this was the last time we would all be standing together for a while. After a few minutes, McKenna came over and hugged me. “Joslynn, I know we aren’t as close as you are with Jacqueline, but I’m going to miss you…a whole lot. You’re going to have to promise to Skype me like, every week, okay?” She asked.
I smiled and nodded. “Of course, McKenna. I’m going to miss you a lot, too.”
After McKenna came Eden. She gave me a hug and said, “What she said. Except I probably love you more.”
What she said made me laugh, and I said “Thanks, Eden. I love you, too.”
After Eden, that left Kayla. Jacqueline and I would say our goodbyes at the airport. Kayla gave me a long hug and then said, “Joslynn, we are not super close, I know. However, you are one of the kindest and most fun people I have ever met, and you honestly made my entire high school career so much better. You are such a beautiful and kind person, and I’m going to miss you a lot. We’re going to have to make sure to keep in touch, okay?” she asked.
I smiled, nodding my head. “Most definitely,” I agreed.
After we made our final goodbyes, we all got in our separate cars and Jacqueline and I made our way back to my house.
We were back at my house at 8:20, so we had to leave for the airport in 10 minutes. Everyone was running around all hectic, trying to make sure I got everything. I quickly was able to change into my airplane clothes, which consisted of purple and white Nike shorts, a long Race for the Cure t-shirt, a pair of green Chacos, and my Kavu. I put my dress from dinner in my suitcase and then quickly put my hair in a braid, topping it off with a headband. I was now ready to leave.
We all managed to fit in two cars and we drove to the airport.
We got to the airport at 9:00 exactly, and after I had gotten my ticket and we all made it through security and to my gate, we were all about to say our goodbyes.
The boys went around and said goodbyes to my mom and Jacqueline, Harry taking extra time with Jacqueline. They really needed to date already.
Then, it was my turn to say goodbye to Jacqueline. Everyone gave us a little bit of privacy.
Jacqueline and I both stood there, not exactly sure what to say. When I looked up, I saw tears in Jacqueline’s eyes, and we both went in for a hug. “I’m going to miss having my best friend around all the time,” she said.
I sniffed and said, “I’m going to miss having mine around, too.”
“Please Skype me every single day. Or at least call or text. Anything. I’m going to miss not being able to just invade your house and your fridge whenever I want. Though, I suppose I could do that anyway, though I doubt your mom would appreciate it.”
I laughed a bit and said, “I will contact you in the free moments I have. You’re still going to be my best friend. You’ve been there since middle school; I don’t plan on letting you go now,” I smiled.
Jacqueline gave me another hug, and the person at the information booth announced our plane was boarding.
“I guess that’s my cue,” Jacqueline said, wiping a tear.
I gave her another hug before saying, “I love you.”
She told me she loved me back, and that was that. I gave my mom a long hug, promising to call once I got to London.
After I had said my goodbyes, Louis was by the ticket scanner with the other boys as he waved me over.
I walked over to him, got my ticket scanned, and turned around before walking down to the plane. I waved at my mom and Jacqueline, who were both in tears. I smiled, wiping away my tears, and then continued to walk down to the plane.
Once we had all gotten on the plane and I got situated next to Louis, I looked out the window. I was going to miss California a lot. But, I needed to do this. For myself. For Louis.
My thoughts were distracted when I felt a hand grab mine. I looked over to see Louis holding my hand, rubbing circles with his thumb.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I took in a deep breath and nodded my head.
“Let the journey begin…together,” he said.
“Together,” I agreed, right as the plane took off.
I settled into my seat and Louis settled into his and he drifted off.
I was ready to start the journey…together.
I then closed my eyes, letting myself drift off into a different world, dreaming of what life would be like as soon as this plane would land.
I was ready.