Justin's POV
"Hey. Justin. I'm sorry for your lost." I heard behind me.
I look to see who it was. Of course it would be my worst enemy. Jason.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I nearly yelled.
"I'm just here to...."
"Get the fuck real, Jason. You wanted her dead! Just like her mother did." I said as I cut him off.
"Justin. Calm down." Ashely came from behind Jason. She put a hand on my chest. "Justin.... Look at me." I continued to glare at Jason who looked as if he wanted to cry. "Justin." Ashely place her hand on my chin gently and forced me to look into her eye. "He's here with me. Grace was my best friend."
"Was?" I looked away. "If you were ever a friend to her you would be crying and saying she still is your best fucking friend." I said as my voice cracked.
"Jay." I closed my eyes thinking of the first time Grace called me that. I felt the tears behind my eyes. Ash wrapped her arms around my neck as I hugged her waist tightly. "She's gone... And there is nothing we can do about that." She sounded like she was about to cry. I buried my face into her shoulder as she hid her face in my chest.
"I miss her." I said as I remember how she saved my life. I couldn't even do that for her. When Jason tried killing me.... She was there and saved me. I started to sob quietly knowing that if I wasn't in the hospital I could have saved her.
"I know you do. I miss her too." She said. After we both were done crying on each other, she finally said. "I have to go. I'll text you later tho okay?"
I nod but I respond honestly with "I may not reply."
"Why the hell not?" She raised her voice.
"Ash, you know I can't live without her.... I... I want... To be with her." I said looking down.
"Justin. You can't do this... You can't fucking do this to me! I already lost one friend and now you're gonna...." I cover her mouth before she can finish cause she was getting to loud.
"Ashely. Shut up. Before everyone knows."
"But, if everyone knows than they can stop you."
"I don't want to be stopped. I just want to.... Die. And be with my baby girl." I said. "Anyways you have to go. Go with Jason. I have to go to the cemetery." I said as I let go of her waist.
"I'm still going to text you. You know that right?" She said. She gave me a hug and whispered "You better reply." Then she went to go with Jason.
I went to the passenger door of Josh's car. I looked across the parking lot and seen Austin. Austin? I don't remember him saying anything or even remembered seeing him in there. I wonder if it was to much for him. I know he loved her but.... I loved her too. I was about to walk over until Josh rolled down the window. "Justin? You getting in the car so we can go to the cemetery?"
"Yea." I said as I opened the car door. I looked at Austin one last time before getting in the car.
"What were you thinking about?" He said being just like his sister with being nosy. I smiled at the thought of her being the nosy little prick she was. But it quickly fell knowing that she was gone.
"Your sister." I said.
"Hey you're not the only one. You can talk to me. Or you can cry. You don't have to be strong around me."
After Josh said that, I put my elbows on my knees and then buried my face in my hands. "Hold it together Justin." I told myself.
"Do you want some music on?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and said "Yes."
The song was in the middle. It was Brad Paisley. His song Whiskey Lullaby.
"She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby."
I started crying. I can't do this. I can't see her buried. I need to do this now. I need to die now. I can't live without her.
"Josh can you just take me home? Please? You're going to pass it on your way there." I said as I looked up at him through my tears.
"Justin...." He said.
"Please?" I barely said.
"Okay. When should I check on you....?"
I thought for a second. Josh pulled into my driveway. I looked at the radio clock. It read 4:24. I finally said "You can come around 9 o'clock."
"Sounds good." Josh said in a sarcastic tone. I got out of the car and started walking away. "Justin!" Josh called, I turned around to look. "Nevermind." Josh said. He looked down at his lap. He looked as if he was crying. I turned around to walk to my door cause I could not see my best friend cry. Next thing I know the engine stopped and Josh got out of the car. He ran to me and hugged me. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He said. "I mean I already lost my sister. I'm going to lose my only friend here too..." He cried.
"Yes... This is what I want." I sighed. "You know if you weren't on your way to a cemetery right now, I would have invited u in for a few hours. But you have to get going. Go be with your dad. And it'll be the last you see of your sister before she's six feet under."
He let go and nodded. "Bye Justin. I hope you will be happy with my sister." He walked to his car as I walked to my door. "Hey Justin do me a favor. When you see Grace, tell her that her big brother loves her and misses her."
"I will." I smiled. "And tell Megan that she was a cool chick. And tell Chaz that if he hurts her, I will haunt him in his dreams." I laughed. I continue smiling knowing that I will be able to see my girlfriend in about an hour. It depends on when I bleed out. It may take longer than an hour.
I walked in the house and locked the door behind me. I headed upstairs and walked straight into my room. I closed the door and sat down on my bed. I let out a breath as tears roll down my cheeks. I know I'm a guy and supposed to be all happy and protective but I'm not. I'm one of those guys who are depressed and who is going to commit suicide.
There was a picture of Grace and I on the bedside table. I starred at it and then picked up the picture frame. "I'm gonna see you soon babygirl." I whispered. I looked over to my bathroom and thought about how I'm gonna do this.
How am I gonna commit suicide? There are truly so many ways I can do it. I could by a gun and shot myself but that'll take to long. I could freeze myself to death, but that to will take to long. What if I just slit my throat? Or just jab a knife threw my heart? That'll kill me quickly. Right?
I got up and walked downstairs to the kitchen. I mean if I'm gonna kill my self, I'm gonna to do it with a large ass night and not my small blade. I got to the drawer with all the knives in it and choose very very carefully as to which one I was going to use. It was a long blade that was connected to a black handle. This will kill me and if worst comes to worst I'll just overdoes on my medicine and die that way but I want my death to be painful. What can I say... I love pain.
I run upstairs back to my room. Of course with my carelessness, I slice my left hip right above my bird in flight tattoo. I laugh at it. Knowing that it's just a little scratch compared to what I will do. I take my phone in my hand and read that it is already 5:00pm.
I reach my room and stop in the doorway. "How the fuck did you get in here.?!?" I said seeing Jason on my bed.
"Justin. Calm down. I know what you're feeling right now. I know you want to die... But so do I." Jason looks down and pulls out a gun. "I know I should talk you out of it. But I can't. So I'm gonna... You know... And than I'll leave you with a choice...." He stopped and looked up at me. "You can either have Graces best friend, Ashley, or the gun will be here after I die and you can come with me to be with Grace..."
Before I could stop him, he put the gun to his chest and shot himself in the heart. "No!" I cried. But of course it was too late. He was dead on my bed.
I look over at the gun that had fallen on the floor. I picked it up and examined it. I opened up the chamber to make sure that there was still a bullet left and there was two left.
"There I come Grace..." I said and put the gun up to my head. I took a deep breath and pulled the tigger.
I felt something hit my head. But I felt no pain. I was confused cuz I was still sitting straight up on the bed. But the gun was on the floor. I get up off the bed and look at the bed. I see two dead blood bodies and one of them is mine. "Oops." I said as I laughed.
I look over to my doorway and see a bright ass light. I don't know why but I walk towards it. I guess it's cause I've seen people doing it in movies but I never knew that it was really like that.
I walk into it and my surroundings change. I go from my house to a white room. I walk deeper into the room and I run into Jason.
"How did you get here?" I asked
"What is here.?"
"Heaven I think... Have you seen Grace yet?" As soon as I say her name she appears with a halo and wings. She had a smile on her face.
"Really? Both of you?" She asked as she laughed. "Was I loved that much.?"
I hugged her. Tighter than ever. "I missed you baby girl." I said. "But now I have you back in my arms... I'm now happy again."
"Good. And Ashely will be joining us within the next two minutes." Grace looks down.
"Baby. What's wrong.?" I asked.
"I feel horrible. You, Jason and Ashely are all killing yourselves cause I did."
"It's cause we love you, baby. At least Ashely and I do. I don't know about this knucklehead over here." I smile.
"Yes I do. I do love you." Jason said. "Always have. Until I met your best friend. Now she was my world. But when I realized that Justin was gonna leave me... I couldn't stay there. I couldn't live life without him. I mean as much as we fight... He's still my best friend. He's my brother. And I love him." Jason said.
"AWE!!!" Grace and I say together. But there was a third voice. I looked behind me and Ashely was there.
"Jason!!!" She ran into his arms. "How could you! You left me." She laughed. "But it's okay. Cause we have our group together again."
It was true. I had my baby girl, Grace. And my brother, Jason. And Grace had her best friend.
We were all happy.
We were dead but we were happy.