We had a day off and I woke up around twelve pm. I checked my phone and responded to some work emails and then watched some youtube videos while doing my skincare routine.
I brushed my teeth and took a shower to help me wake up and went to the kitchen to get some coffee. Emily had a meeting this morning so she wasn't home. I grabbed my phone and called Jennifer. No answer. I decided to send her a quick text.
Maya
You okay?
Jayje
Fine
Maya
Okay, then what was going on last night?
Jayje
Nothing, I was just busy
Maya
Well are you busy tonight too?
Jayje
Probably, yeah
I sighed and put my phone away. I didn't realize how much I've grown to like her. It was weird waking up and not having her beside me.
I'm not stupid though, I study behavior for a living and I know she's avoiding me. I just don't know why. I don't think I did or said anything wrong because once again, I study behavior and I know when I'm getting too far. That wasn't the case.
Our day off was cut short because of a case, so I quickly finished my coffee and went to change. I grabbed my go bag and drove to the bau. Everyone was already there.
"Seven minutes and twenty three seconds," Spencer said.
"What?" I asked.
"That's how late you are," Derek said.
"First of all, it's my day off. I could show up tomorrow and I wouldn't be late," I said.
"What's the case?" Emily asked.
"LDSK," Rossi said.
"Great, so profile won't get us anywhere this time," I said.
"No, but we can help with the geographical profile and figure out his next moves," Hotch said.
"Wheels up?" Spencer asked.
"Wheels up," Hotch nodded.
We got on the jet and did the briefing there. When we finished I went to grab a coffee from the back of the jet.
JJ was already there making one. I closed the curtain and poured myself a cup. I could feel her looking at me but when I turned to look at her she looked away.
"What are we doing here?" I asked.
"Coffee?" She asked.
"I mean why are you avoiding me?" I asked, "Are we going back to square one? I thought we were past that point."
"I'm not avoiding you," she said.
"Your body tenses when I enter the room, your back straightens, you look away or pull your phone out to look busy. You limit your words to minimum while speaking to me and go out of your way to not be left alone with me."
"Profiling me? I thought we were past that point," she said.
"Okay," I nodded, "Fine."
"I'm not avoiding you," she said, "It's not that simple."
"Then what?" I asked.
"I'm just busy," she said.
I scoffed, "Right, okay. Don't let me waist your time then," I said and went back to my seat.
I sat with Emily and Derek and we played uno the whole way there. I've lost every time, I swear I must've been forsaken or something. There's no other explanation for what's going on.
We got there and immediately I was instructed to work on the geographical profile along with Spencer.
Took us a while but we were able to narrow down the area where he might struck next. There were a few locations with a lot of people in the same place. We just had to pick the right one.
That job was assigned to Emily and JJ so I was just hanging out with Spencer. I went to get some coffee and sat back with him on a couch that was in the corner of the room we were in.
"That's your third today," he said.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"I saw you drink two and you never come to work until you have your coffee at your apartment so that makes it three," he said.
I ruffled his hair, "I can sense a conclusion coming."
"I have come to one, you're right," he said.
"As always," I said, "What's your theory?"
"You didn't sleep well last night, that means JJ didn't spend the night at your place. I wasn't sure about that one, but she was drinking coffee too on the jet and she rarely does that," he said.
"Warm," I said.
"Are you guys fighting again?" He asked.
"I don't know, Spence. I don't think so, but then again something did change," I shrugged, "I think she's mad at me."
"Why would she be mad at you?" He asked.
"That I don't know either," I said.
"Do you wanna see who can solve a rubik's cube faster?" He asked smiling.
"Alright, you're on," I said.
"Do you have two rubik's cubes by any chance?" He asked.
I chuckled, "No, sorry. I left them in my other pants."
He chuckled, "I'll go look. Maybe someone has at least one."
"Okay, boy wonder," I said with a smile.
He actually did find two rubik's cubes. We finished at the same time. Twice. Third time it was also a tie so we accepted that and shook hands. We were then instructed to do different things.
JJ was asked to hold a press conference. I wasn't sure it was a good idea because she was not her best self today. I was afraid she was gonna say the wrong thing.
Everyone dismissed my concerns, but I was right. She said a few words that could provoke the UnSub into devolving, or possibly even targeting us personally.
"What the hell was that, Jennifer?" Hotch asked her.
"You wanted him to get out of hiding, so now he will," she said walking off.
"I'm not done with you," he said, "I'll see you in my office when we get back."
"Of course, sir," she said and walked away.
He gave me a look and I nodded. I knew he wanted me to go check on her, but I wasn't sure I was the right person for that right now. I went anyway.
I found her in a bathroom staring at herself in a mirror. I walked in and locked the door behind me.
"What?" She asked.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing is wrong. Can you stop?" She asked.
"You put the case in jeopardy. You don't do that. Last time you did do something like that was when you were experiencing ptsd. You just put a target on your own back," I told her.
"To get the UnSub to contact us," she said.
"JJ you're spiraling again," I said, "What's going on?"
"I-," she said, her head dropping down, "I can't tell you," she said.
"Can I stand with you then?" I asked.
She nodded so I came closer and stood next to her for a few minutes before I got a call from Hotch.
He sent us in pairs to different locations so we could look for our UnSub. Emily with Derek, Spencer with David and Aaron was going to navigate from the station. Leaving me with JJ. Of course.
We went to a park we were assigned to go to and took a walk there. We were subtly looking around to see if we could spot someone who looked suspicious.
We were walking in silence for about fifteen minutes when I noticed something weird on JJ's shirt. A red dot. I looked at it and then looked in the direction it would be coming from and saw a man dressed in all black in the window of an old building.
"JJ watch out!" I yelled pushing her out of the way.
We both fell and I saw the UnSub run away. I was laying on the ground and she fell on top of me. She told Hotch that the UnSub was running away and Derek was on his way to follow him.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah," she whispered, "Thanks for that."
I looked at my hand that was clutching my stomach and it was soaked with blood. My head dropped back to the ground and after that all I saw was darkness. I could hear JJ yelling through her ear piece for a minute longer and then quiet.
Next thing I remember is lights in the ambulance and people yelling code blue. After that I must've been asleep because I was dreaming about different things.
I opened my eyes and immediately closed them again. Everything was spinning and everything was hurting. I was just remembering the events and figured I must be in a hospital. I heard people talking in my room.
"There's no way she likes me back," I heard JJ say. I think it was JJ.
"Are you kidding me right now? She literally took a bullet for you. Not even figuratively speaking, like a real bullet," Penelope said.
"She would take a bullet for fun, that's not proof," JJ said.
"You just mark my words," Penelope said, "Right Emily?"
Emily didn't respond. At this point I'm not sure if that was a real conversation I just heard or if I was still dreaming. Everything is so fuzzy.
I opened my eyes and looked at them. I tried to sit up, but couldn't so I didn't bother. I looked to my right and saw Emily. That's when she noticed I was awake.
"Oh my god," she said, "You're alive. Thank god, Maya. You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," I whispered.
"Stop getting shot for fuck's sake. It's stressing me out," she said.
"Well, if you don't like it," I said sarcastically.
"Yep, she's back," Emily nodded smiling.
"Oh my darling," Garcia said, "You're so stupid and heroic and I'm so glad you're alive."
I smiled, "Thanks, Pen. Can we go back to the station now?"
Emily chuckled, "Not so fast, cowboy. You just got out of surgery."
"So that's why it hurts so much," I groaned.
"Thank you," JJ said.
I looked at her, "For what?"
"For pushing me out of the way. You saved my life," she said, "Thank you."
"It was nothing," I said.
She nodded and walked out of the room. Emily told me that they found the guy so we were going home as soon as I was cleared to go. Which was the next day.
I got benched for a few days until I get cleared by a doctor to go back into the field. Emily got a couple days off too to help me. I tried to get in contact with JJ, but she wouldn't return my calls. Just dry texts every now and then.
Alex stayed with Emily and I for a few days to help too. She's a doctor so I was hoping that with her help I could return to work sooner.
The days went by in what felt like eternity, but I was good to go back to work. Emily and I just got to the office and took seats by our desks.
"Here's our cowboy," Derek said grinning.
"You guys won't let me forget that, will you?" I asked.
"Not a chance, kid," Rossi said.
"My mom sent me a get better soon card," I said spinning in my chair.
"No way, that's so nice of her," Penelope said with her hand on over her heart.
Emily chuckled, "She sent me one too."
"Wait, you didn't get hurt," Spencer pointed out.
"And she didn't know that I had," I said nodding.
"So what's with the cards?" Derek asked confused.
"She just thought we could do better," I shrugged and Emily laughed which made me laugh too.
"I still can't believe you jumped in front of a bullet like that," Derek said, "Do you not have that voice in the back of your head telling you it's not a good idea?"
"No?" I said confused.
"That actually explains so much," Hotch said with a smile, "Good to have you back."
"Good to be back, dad," I said smiling.
"Don't call me that," he said.
"Sorry dad," I said.
He shook his head smiling and went back to his office. JJ joined us a while later and sat by her desk.
"Did you get in trouble?" I asked.
"No. Everyone was more focused on the fact that you got hurt than the fact it was my fault," she said.
"Hey, no. It wasn't your fault," I said, "He didn't know we were gonna be there. It was just a coincidence."
"I'm uh, I'm glad you're okay," she said.
"Thanks," I said.
She smiled and went to the kitchen. I turned back to the rest of the team and saw all varieties of looks on their faces.
"Okay, what?" I asked.
"The tension so thick it could be cut with a knife," Derek said.
"So you noticed that too," I said leaning back in my chair.
"It's really hard to miss," David said while reading through his files.
"Is she like this with all of you?" I asked.
"Actually, no. It's just you sweetheart," Garcia said.
"Oh thank you," I said smiling, "That was a nice way of saying I'm the problem."
The day went by and I didn't exchange one more word with JJ. In the evening Emily and I went back home and Alex came over. I decided that I'm not gonna let it get to me. After all I was supposed to be JJ's person. She never said she was gonna be mine.
My job was to help her heal and get through what happened to her. I guess she feels better and my job is done. I just didn't expect it to end like this. I thought we had a connection, like we could be friends again. But that's on me.
"Are you feeling better, baby?" Alex asked.
"Now I am," I said smiling.
"Great. You scared me to death with that phone call," she said, "Don't do that again."
"I'll try," I said smiling.
She kissed me while taking a seat on the couch next to me, "I had a long surgery today, I'm so exhausted."
"You don't have to stay up. Go to bed if you're tired," I said.
"But I wanna stay with you," she whined.
I chuckled, "Then lay down here. If you fall asleep, you fall asleep. If you don't then you don't."
"Is your incision not hurting anymore?" She asked.
"No, it's all good," I said.
She nodded with a smile and laid down with her head on my stomach. Emily put a movie on and I leaned back on the couch. I was running my fingers through Alex's hair not really paying attention to the movie.
I couldn't keep my mind off of JJ. What the hell is wrong with me? I have an amazing, beautiful, redheaded girl in my lap right now, who actually gives a crap about me and all I can think about is Jennifer. I just can't help, but feel used. Even though it was my idea the whole time.
Alex yawned, "Goodnight," she mumbled, "I love you."
My eyes got wider than they ever did before. Emily shot me a look too and I was frozen for a few seconds. I was hoping it was the sleep talking and she wouldn't remember it in the morning. I kissed her head and smoothed her hair.
"Goodnight, baby," I said, "Sleep well."
"The L word?" Emily whisper yelled.
I looked at her still in shock and whispered, "I don't do the L word."
"You do, just not with her. You gotta do something about this Maya because it isn't fair," she whispered, "You've got guilt written all over your face and she's gonna see that."
"I never even touched JJ's skin, how can I be guilty?" I whispered.
"The fact you knew what I was talking about speaks for itself," she whispered, "I know it's hard to be here without her after all the time we spent here together. You spent together. But it's not fair to Alex if you lead her on like that."
"It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is her," I said.
"Hm?" Alex mumbled.
"Nothing, Alex," I said, "Let's go to bed."