Tobias POV
Tris comes out and her eyes meet with mine. She doesn't move any farther from the door though, just stands and stares into my eyes. It's as if I can read her thoughts, her emotions. And I see fear, but also some relief. She starts walking again and takes a seat next to me. She doesn't say anything, just leans into my chest and I wrap her in my arms.
"I'm proud of you." I whisper to her, my voice soft and genuine. She sits up and looks at me, "Thank you." She says. Her voice almost makes a whisper, it's more like she's mouthing it to me.
I smile at her, "How was it?" I ask. If she doesn't want to talk about it or relive it, I won't push it. I hear her sigh and she looks down at her feet. "Hey if you-" I'm cut off by her voice.
"It.. was pretty bad." She admits. "All of them.." She tells me. "The worst had to of been seeing you die, or having to shoot my family and you." She says and I know it's replaying in her mind, and that's what I didn't want to put her through.
"Hey, I'm okay. You're okay, and I know you did well in there." I tell Tris and she looks up once the words exit my mouth.
"I love you." She says and I lean down and kiss her. It's a feeling I've never fully grown accustomed to. It always feels like the very first time, the time I kissed her in that alley that started our beginning.
"Four." A man calls out and I pull away from Tris. I can see she's praying I do fine and that I'll be okay. "I love you." I whisper to her. I stand up and walk toward the large now open metal doors.
I look back to see Tris and maybe give her words of encouragement. But it's the other way around, I see her giving me words to boost me with courage. Be Brave. That's what I had told her and that's what she's telling me.
I smile and turn, hearing the slam of the doors behind me. I'm led to a large chair and met by tori. "How are you?" She asks screwing some things together- one being the syringe that going to be injecting me. "Alright." "That's what they all say." Tori says with a smirk.
"Good luck Tobias. I hope you make it." Tori says and the use of my true name takes me off guard, but it feels somewhat okay in her mouth. My eyes close with the sting of a needle, and all goes dark.
It's all dark until sunlight hits me that is. I peer my eyes open and have to take a moment to get my eyes adjusted and used to me surroundings, except I'd never get used to these specific surroundings.
I'm hundreds on feet above the ground, and I'm laying on a metal pole type contraption- and the only thing I'm sure about it is that I want off of it.
I stand but it's challenging due to the fact that my legs are wobbly and unstable- maybe as well as my mind. I take a deep breath and a step forward. Just as I move the wind picks up, afraid that it will blow me over I shut my eyes but have to reopen- since that made it worse.
I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. My mind tell me and I'm starting to believe it.
"Be brave." A voice that is not my own says and I know exactly who it is.
It's the girl that I get to call my own, my love, my only. My other half, the one that fills me with hope and courage. The one that pushes me to do things that make me stronger, the one who's voice fills me to the rim with comfort. The one I've shared my life with and my past she doesn't judge- nor pity upon. The one I've shared my body with and in the process grew closer to. The one that I will love my whole life- the only one for me.
I walk, faster and faster. I reach a small opening an slip through it, taking me away from the sky and when I look down I don't see the pavement. I see metal. All sides of me to be exact, the unbreakable walls.
My breaths pick up speed and the walls move inward. At first I think it's my mind, my hyperventilation making my surrounds close in around me.
But it's real, they're coming towards me. I hit and kick, push and shove as hard as I can- but they just keep moving. I spot in the darkness that will soon consume me, two screws. Two that I stuff in the edges of the sides and a screeching noise fills the air. And then silence.
The next place I'm at is dark, eerie. Red lighting mixes with the black, making things looks scarier than it actually is. I hear coughing that makes my head snap around, I stare into the corner the noise came from but I can't see anything.
I step closer, squinting my eyes to see better. And as I come closer, it becomes visible. The noise becomes louder and my heart becomes heavier.
It's her. Tris. My angel gagging on her own blood. Her eyes are darker than normal and soon I'm afraid the darkness will pass and as it does she'll go with the light.
"Tobias." She croaks and I rush to her side. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm right here baby." I tell her, she's looking up at me as I hold her head. I'm cradling her in my arms, clinging to the little life left in her.
Her body starts to shake violently and the tears don't fall from her eyes- they come from mine. "Don't leave me." I whisper and I realize I'm giving in. I'm giving into the fear, the simulation.
Coughing comes from Tris and I look down to see her crimson blood now staining my hands and some that coughed up on my shirt. But it doesn't matter, I just to need to be here for her.
I shake my head, I'm torn. I can't leave her here alone to die by herself, even if she's not the real Tris- she's still enough of her for me to know I can't let her go. But the other half of me knows that I can't give into this simulation, I know it's not real. That Tris will be waiting for me in that waiting room, anxious to see me.
I sigh and release another tear, letting it roll down my cheek and it lands on Tris. Mixing with the blood stains on her shirt.
I lay her carefully on the ground, kiss her forehead and stand up. I back away from the bleeding dying body, and enter the darkness. Leaving her there, seeing her that way.. Killed me- so if that was the goal of that simulation.. They won.
I look down at my feet as I walk, further and further away from her.
I look up as my feet reach a carpet that I've known my whole life. The surrounding I've known all my life. My childhood house in abnegation, where I was a crushed little boy. I walk into it, and bracing myself for what I might see- or more of who.
"Tobias." I hear his low voice, sending shivers through me. I turn around and am met by the man I could never call father. He's dressed head to toe in his usual abnegation grey- the color I used to wear.
"I tried to teach you." He says and I stand straighter. "I tried to help you." He tells me and I can't believe what he says, as I wear the scars on my back. "I tried to teach you.. To be better." He adds and I didn't even notice that my hands clenched into fists.
The words he speaks, the excuses he makes- I can't take. They're all lies, things said to cover the truth. "You never tried to teach me, or help me." I say to him.
"You did the exact opposite. You hurt me, you ruined me!" I add and I know that he's taken back. "You drove my mother away, and you never loved me. Never treated me like a son-" "You were a disgrace of a son." Marcus says cutting me off. His words pierce me and they do hurt.
"You were a disgrace of a father." I spit back, and he chuckles. "I'm done with you. I'm done with you're hurt and pain you throw at me. I'm done." I tell him and as I do I watch him undo his belt buckle.
He takes a step towards me, getting closer and closer. He raises his arm and lets the belt swoosh through the air, it hits me in the arm- stinging and searing my skin.
But I don't fall, I won't let myself. I stand and face him. He raises to swing again but this time I stop him and take the opportunity to punch him to the ground.
I jerk awake, my eyes realizing I'm out of the simulation. I'm back in dauntless, with Tris awaiting me. I sit up and Tori smiles small at me. I walk out, still feeling gazes on me but I don't care.
I open the metal doors and there she sits. In the same chair I left her in, but this time I don't walk over to her. She runs to me, fast and I grab her as she jumps on me- wrapping her legs around my torso. I close my eyes and I lay my head in the crook of her neck- taking in her scent I know as comfort.
"I'm so proud of you." She whispers and I smile. "Thank you love." I say and I set her down, walking over to the chairs. I watch Christina walk in through the doors. She's second to last to go.
I bring Tris onto my lap, and hold her close to me. "How did it go?" She asks me after a moment of silence. I sigh before answering her.
"Wasn't great." I tell her. She laughs softly, "I gathered that." She tells me. "For four fears, it seemed like so much more." I admit to her.
"What about him? What was he like this time?" Tris asks me. "He's the same as he usually is. But this time the words he said to me, they actually stung." I tell Tris. "Whatever he said wasn't true." "I know.. It just still hurts you know." I explain and she nods.
"The worst was you though." I say and that gets her to lift her head and look at me. "What happened?"
"You were dying. Having to watch you go, and I couldn't save you." I tell her. I choose to leave out the parts where I had to battle leaving her or staying. So really I simplified the situation.
"I'm sorry." She mumbles and kisses my cheek. "I'm fine. You had more fears than me so don't worry about me." I tell her and she smiles- halfway.
"I love you, and we're going to be just fine." I tell her. "Well I love you too number boy." She says jokingly. And I can't help but smile at her.