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53. Rachis
She swears he looks like he's about to faint. During the (admittedly little) amount of time they had together so far, June can only recall seeing Treech this nervous twice - before the Games, and before the interview after them.
Every step he takes is calculated, and yet it seems they're all painful to him. But no matter how often she suggests waiting it out, Treech seems to disagree vehemently. He needs to do this; at least that's what he's telling himself, and while she agrees, she doesn't know if it's a good idea to go right now either.
But Treech insists, saying that it's urgent since they don't know how much longer Rachis and his father can keep his and Lamina's grandparents alive with the little income they have. They have bills to pay, and with Lamina not in the picture, the money they have left must all be going towards their medicine. After all, it's the whole reason Lamina dropped out of school about a year ago when she was just fourteen years old - to keep her grandparents alive because her remaining family didn't make enough money.
To June, it's something that feels so far away. Seeing and even meeting people who have to decide between paying for their next meal or keeping a loved one alive hits her hard. Of course, June has some understanding of what it's like to suffer and what it means to feel helpless, but this is new to her. After the war, her parents did everything to shelter her and her brothers the way they did before the war.
And that's exactly why it's hitting her so hard right now. In the Capitol, the landscape still suffers greatly from the war. There is rubble that still has to be cleared off the streets, although not where she lives, and she believes a part of it is done so purposefully, and even the people are still clinging to what happened since their wounds are deep. Here in Seven, nature seems almost untouched, and despite how down-to-earth and kind the people are, the war has caused long-lasting effects here as well.
Above all, the Hunger Games. She doesn't need to be an expert to know that without their existence, people would be more likely to flourish quicker. In a place like this, so lively and raw, she's sure anyone would be able to grow here. And, unfortunately, that's exactly what the Capitol is trying so desperately to prevent. And what better way to keep the Districts in line than with this kind of psychological torture?
She loves Seven already, but she couldn't imagine raising a child here just because the Games exist. It terrifies her to no end, and she wouldn't ever be able to live knowing that one day her child might be ripped away from her to fight other children just to survive. She can't believe her mother is willingly helping improve and work on these Games. The more she thinks about it, the more furious she gets.
Treech's grip around her hand is firm, his palm is damp, and she doesn't need to keep on glancing at his face to know that his jaw is clenched so tightly it might as well snap in half - but she knows it is. Her thumb rubs small circles on the back of his hand as they walk, and she lightly swings their hands back and forth as they walk. His eyebrows are furrowed, and the rest of his body looks more stiff than hers did every single time she had to give a presentation at the Academy.
"Is it far from here?" She eventually asks, breaching the tense silence as carefully as she can possibly muster. "Because it feels like we've been walking for a while."
"That's 'cause we have," Treech answers. "I'm not dragging it out; Rachis and his dad just live a bit further away. They moved south a while ago."
She doesn't need to ask why, but the thought of Lamina and Rachis moving to live and take care of their grandparents together with their father makes her stomach clench. When Treech told her the people in Seven had a strong community, perhaps she underestimated just how tightly knit they actually are.
If anything, that just makes it worse.
June hums. Truth be told, they passed the market about ten minutes ago, and she feels horrible for even being annoyed with the weather. According to Treech's father, rain will come around during the night or the next early morning, but it's so hot right now that it almost makes it sound impossible. At this rate, she'll get a sunburn before anything else.
"Do you still want me to come in with you?" She asks again, just to be sure. "I mean, it depends on what Rachis says, but..."
"If he even talks to me at all," Treech grumbles, kicking a pebble in his way aside. "If he says it's fine, I want you in there with me. You don't need to talk; I wanna do this alone anyway."
She nods. "Alright," she agrees quickly. "Just let me know if you change your mind, though. I can talk to him too."
"Even though you're probably just as nervous as I am?" Treech asks in retaliation.
She laughs and shakes her head. "No, but I think I'm probably the leading expert when it comes to being nervous. I'm used to it," she tells him. "Maybe a little bit more than you are."
Briefly, he recalls the first time he saw her. In her red uniform, she looked almost ghastly pale when she first approached him and Lamina at the train station. He remembers that her bag was bulging and about to burst at the seams, how tightly she gripped its strap, and how she even gave herself a little scare the first time she opened her mouth to speak.
He can't help but feel like seeing her so relaxed now is a privilege above all. She's comfortable around him, and that alone makes him feel a little bit better. It doesn't ease his anxiety, but there are a few butterflies swarming the endless pit in his stomach, at least.
"Just stay by my side, sweetheart," he eventually says with a shake of his head. "I need someone to ground me if... if it doesn't work out."
June frowns, but nods anyway. If she can even provide him with the slightest bit of comfort, that already means the world to her. But she'd be lying if she said she wasn't scared as well.
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June blinks up at the building in front of her, letting out a shaky breath.
Much like the rest of Seven, it seems the Masons live in a timber shack. However, unlike that of Treech's family, theirs isn't in the middle of nowhere. It's a surprisingly busy street, or at least it would be if they had come here later during the day. But Treech managed to find out when Rachis works, thanks to his little brother's sharp memory, and knows that he's scheduled for an off-day. It's convenient enough, but he can't help but feel bad that he might be about to ruin his only free day of the week.
It's a regular-sized shack with two floors, although the top one is visibly smaller and has a little balcony right above the front door. There are two big flower pots next to the entrance, but they seem to be empty at the moment. A small dog carved out of wood guards the front door, whose wood has slightly withered from the weather. A little abandoned flower bed rests next to the path leading up to the front door, and June can see an old watering can and a shovel, the latter being propped up against the house's walls.
And, as it seems to be common in Seven, the door is wide open.
She looks over at Treech but finds that apparently his posture couldn't get much more tense than it already was during the trip here. It looks like every fiber of his being is trying to tell him to leave, to protect himself from whatever mess this might be turning into, but he refuses. He stands there firmly, likely motivating himself to get this done and over with. It needs to be done, no matter how bad it might turn out.
If he can't even talk to Rachis, how is he meant to go back to the lumber yard, where more people are waiting for him? He knows it's naive to assume everyone is as kind and forgiving as his family and June are, but that still doesn't mean he's ready to experience it yet. Facing his actions in the arena during the interview after the Games was already horrible enough, but this is personal.
The wound is wide open, even for him, but he can't imagine how much worse it must be for Lamina's brother.
Treech snaps himself out of it before his thoughts stray and he spirals any further. He looks over at June, gives her hand a firm squeeze, and nods.
That's her cue. Although Treech wants to do the most important part on his own, he knows Rachis might slam the door in his face if he shows his face immediately. It's smarter to send her ahead; at least that's what he thinks. But he can't deny that he feels embarrassed that he's practically hiding behind someone who's close to being just as scared as he is anyway.
June takes a deep breath, clears her head as much as possible, and walks along the narrow and uneven cobbled path leading up to the front door. The wood creaks beneath her as she steps on the porch, and she almost feels like she did the night she and Coriolanus went to retrieve Sejanus. She swallows, but then lifts her free hand and gives the door a gentle knock.
"Hello?" She calls out curiously, poking her head inside. The scent of sawdust and flowers hits her at once, mixed in with that of dust and baked bread. She tenses when she hears footsteps, but quickly straightens up when they get closer.
Rachis descends down the creaky and visibly steep stairs with surprising ease considering his height, wiping his hands on a towel hanging right by a door she presumes leads to the bathroom. His head whips around in surprise when he spots her, though, and the silence that follows is only broken by an involuntary cough coming from him. Much like at the apothecary shop, his gaze is exhausted, but he looks at her in wonder anyway.
"You're..." He trails off, uncertain. It takes him a moment; his eyes dart around as he tries to recall where he has seen her, but she can see the realization hitting him when his eyes widen. "You're the girl from the apothecary shop I almost ran into, right? You were with Birdie?"
June quickly nods. "Yes, that's me. My name is June, I..." Even though she rehearsed her words time and time again, she still finds herself tongue-tied when she looks up at the other male, the scarf around his neck in particular. It's undoubtedly the same color and pattern as Lamina's shirt, and it makes her feel nauseous.
As if sensing her unease, Rachis sighs. "Well, what can I help you with, June?" He tests the name out curiously and decides he doesn't mind the way it rolls off his tongue. "You need anything? Birdie sent you?"
"Not particularly, no. I came here because I wanted to," she says, taking a careful step forward, her hand slipping out of Treech's. She gauges Rachis' reaction, but he doesn't seem to mind her coming into his home. "I just... I wanted to come here and tell you how sorry I am about-"
She's cut off by a wave of Rachis' hand. He shakes his head, and the pained expression in his eyes makes her feel like she made a terrible mistake.
"You were a friend of hers, then?" He inquires curiously, his foot tapping on the wooden floorboards beneath him. "I don't think I've seen you before. You from up north?"
June shakes her head. "No, I'm not from around here," she tells him. "And I wouldn't say we were friends, but we talked a few times. In the Capitol." She chews on her lower lip.
Rachis' eyes dart around again, as if he's trying to process the information she just gave him. "In the Capitol?" He repeats her words, looking at her further. His eyes take in her appearance, and he almost feels stupid for not recognizing it sooner. She looks too clean and put-together to be from around here.
"So, what's this, then?" He eventually rasps. "They uh... sending people out to give their condolences now?" He shoots her a wry smile, wrinkling his nose slightly. "How kind of them. Almost makes me forget they killed my sister."
She has to take a deep breath. "No," she says, playing with her fingers. "But this isn't about me. I brought someone here who would like to talk to you. Is that alright?"
He sighs, and she can tell he must be wondering what else he has left to lose. Rachis swallows heavily, but when he gives her a nod, she turns around to look at Treech. He's standing slightly to the side, so Rachis won't see him immediately, but he visibly pales anyway when June gives him the okay. He heard everything, and the tension in his body is palpable.
Everything inside of him screams to turn around and leave, but he can't. He forces his feet forward and up the little, creaky staircase, feeling like his heart is sinking into his stomach. He can't bring himself to lift his head immediately, but when he does, he almost immediately regrets it.
The confusion in Rachis' blue eyes turns into pain - something close to disgust, anger, or hurt - Treech can't tell. There are too many emotions mixing in at once, but when he steps inside and his eyes land on the fabric around the older boy's neck, he almost feels like he might vomit any second. He pales even further, clenches his fists at his sides, and when he opens his mouth, no sound comes out.
This was a terrible idea. What was he thinking?
Treech's eyes land on June. She's about to reach out and grab his hand when Treech is roughly yanked away from her. She gasps sharply when Rachis grabs him by the collar of his shirt and forces him backward.
And much to her horror, Treech just lets it happen. He stumbles slightly, all the tension in his body gone, and is slammed against the wooden wall. The impact makes him groan, and he resists the urge to clutch his head, although he doesn't know if he'd even be able to if he tried. Rachis has a tight grip on him, but he feels like the taller boy is still containing his anger.
June stops herself right as she's about to clasp a hand over her mouth in shock and walks forward as well. She takes a deep breath, furrows her brows, and when her hand lands on Rachis' arm to pull him away from Treech, the next thing she feels is a sharp sting around her nose.
Her head begins to spin, and she brings her hands up to cover her nose, stumbling back from the impact. Something warm and wet hits her finger, and she winces. For someone so tall and lanky, Rachis has surprising strength in his hands, but when she looks up at him through her now teary eyes, she can quickly tell one thing - this was an accident. It doesn't make the pain hurt any less, though, and she stifles a whimper or a sniffle so as to not alert both boys.
The one good thing that came out of it is that Rachis has let go of Treech, and he immediately rushes past Lamina's brother to get to the girl, who's clearly in pain but holding it in.
"June!" The panic in his voice is audible. He grabs her wrists with trembling hands and tries to pry her hands off her face as gently as he can to take a closer look at the damage, but she won't budge. The visible tears in her eyes make his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. "Are you bleeding? Talk to me, sweetheart, please."
"I..." Rachis trails off, awkwardly hovering behind Treech. Even through her blurred vision, she can tell he looks regretful and ashamed of himself. "I'm so, so sorry - I didn't mean to-"
"I'm okay!" She manages to say, only to wince again. "I'm sorry, does either one of you have a tissue for me?"
Treech looks like he's about to turn and snap at Rachis when her hand grabs his wrist. She shakes her head, barely acknowledging the other boy who makes a run for the kitchen, and begins opening various cabinets to find a handkerchief or something she can wipe her nose with. Treech places a hand on her back and gently maneuvers her over to sit on a chair, bending down slightly to take a closer look at her.
"You're bleeding," he gasps, gently prying her hands off her face. Rachis almost stumbles over his own feet with a clean kitchen towel, and Treech practically yanks it out of his hand, only to immediately begin dabbing at the blood beneath her nose. It's not much, but it's still blood. "How bad is it? Do you need some ice?"
"I'll go get some!" is all Rachis says, opening the little fridge. But truthfully, every noise he makes only makes her head throb more, and she tries to blend it out as much as possible.
"I'll be fine," she tries to reassure them both, but her voice is far too teary for it to sound convincing. She sniffles and takes the kitchen towel, holding it beneath her nose, for any more blood that's threatening to spill out. "Thank you..."
"You're gonna be okay," Treech says carefully. All anxiety is washed away in an instant, replaced by nothing but worry for her. The guilt immediately comes swarming in, and he regrets ever taking her here in the first place. He has to swallow so he doesn't burst into tears as well, but he manages to hold it in.
Rachis is by his side almost immediately after. The taller male has a little plastic bag filled with ice cubes in his hands and offers it to the girl who takes it, who immediately thanks him. She covers the plastic bag with the thin kitchen towel and rests it beneath her nose, blinking back her tears.
"I'm so sorry. My body just moved on its own, I..." Rachis sighs and brings his hands up to rub his face in exhaustion. "I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," June mumbles, squeezing her eyes together as another wave of pain comes crashing down on her. She takes deep breaths, but the scent of blood is almost dizzying. She almost feels transported back to the day of the arena bombing and stifles a sob. "It wasn't intentional; it's okay."
Although he doesn't look too convinced, Rachis frowns. He places his hands on his hips and watches with regret and guilt as Treech tries to tend to the girl to the best of his ability, his words kind and his touch gentle. He exhales deeply and honestly isn't sure where to look. His head is spinning, and if he could go back in time and slap himself just a minute ago, he would do it in a heartbeat.
"I'm sorry," he says again. "After... I'm just losin' it, I think."
June nods slowly, carefully dabbing the area beneath her nose. "That's why we came here," she tells him. "Treech wanted to talk to you."
Rachis' gaze hardens when the other boy looks at him, his expression unreadable. "I don't know what's there to talk about," he says after a short moment. "I'm sorry for hurting you, June, but I got nothin' to say to him. He... he killed her."
Treech lowers his head in shame, but June furrows her brows in confusion, staring up at Rachis like he's a complicated puzzle she can't figure out. She sniffles and shakes her head. "That's not-"
"I watched, June." Treech cuts in surprisingly quickly, with a slight tremble in his voice. He shakes his head. "That might as well be the same thing."
Although he can't deny how sick he feels when Rachis points out the facts, he's fully convinced that his lack of action caused Lamina's death, but even he doesn't know if he'd ever be able to agree with June when she says he couldn't have done anything anyway. He should've stayed by her side; perhaps they could've even made it to the final three together.
But all of that is over now, so he'll never know. He'll have to live the rest of his life knowing that not only Lamina didn't get to live the way she could've. Hy, Teslee, and Lucy Gray - the names echo in his head painfully. They were all just children that wanted to go home, just like him. He knows it's different; he didn't bring down the ax on Lamina himself, but he can't help but feel like leaving her to be by herself was essentially her death sentence.
Maybe he could've done something to save her.
But Rachis visibly stiffens when he hears that. Something akin to confusion mixes into his gaze, full of resentment for the other boy. "What did you just say?" He asks slowly, his head tilting to hear him better. "You... watched?"
Even through the pain in her head, June comes to a quick conclusion. "Rachis?" She asks carefully. "What... You don't have a TV here, do you?"
"I don't think I could afford a TV if I sold this place," he answers bitterly. "I don't know how it's in the Capitol, but not all of us were born with a golden shovel in our mouths."
She knows it's a jab at her, but she knows he's right. Treech doesn't look too happy about what he said as he glares at Rachis, but she's aware that he's simply pointing out the uncomfortable truth - the facts that people in the Capitol don't even question. The Districts are struggling to keep their citizens fed, and the Capitol has too much wealth to truly know what to do with it, even now so close to the end of the war.
She shakes her head. "I was just wondering because you said he..." She exhales. "Rachis, may I ask how you found out about Lamina? What did they say to you?"
Rachis lets out a long, heavy sigh. He reaches for another chair, pulls it out for himself, and takes a seat. He watches the way Treech brushes her hair out of her face, but pushes that question aside for that moment.
He rests his hands on his knees, and when he begins to speak again, there's an undeniable quiver in his voice. "I found out that evening when I was on my way home," he says, clearing his throat. He has to take a deep breath and blink rapidly to stop the incoming tears. "I was stopped by... I think he's an apprentice at the carpenter; I don't know. Never talked to him before. But he told me what happened, that she's dead and..." He trails off, gesturing towards Treech with his hand.
June frowns. "I know Treech will disagree when I say this, but he didn't kill her," she tells him, leaning forward. She reaches out carefully, gauging Rachis' reaction, and places her hand over one of his. He visibly flinches but doesn't pull away. "It wasn't like that. That's not what happened."
The confusion and hurt on Rachis' face make her heart feel heavy in her chest. She had almost forgotten that the families often only heard about what happened to their children, their siblings, or their friends, and some of them might not even hear the truth. She has a strange feeling about the way he worded his accusation, but it explains his reaction to seeing Treech, at least.
She can't imagine either one of her brothers dying far away from home, only to hear that they were killed by a friend, and that friend is coming home. She'd be furious as well, especially since she'd never truly see what happened to him and only hear about it from other people.
"June..." Treech shakes his head and is about to protest further when she frowns up at him.
"I mean, I didn't... I didn't do it myself," he adds after a brief moment, hesitating to look over at Rachis. The look on his face is heartbreaking, and he chokes back the urge to cry as well. "But I feel like I did indirectly."
"They told me you killed her," Rachis says, glancing back and forth between them. It's clear that he's confused and that what he's been told all along doesn't seem to be true. "Why would they lie about that?"
"I don't know if they have a TV at the carpenter's, but I know the tailor shop does. From what Birdie told me, there were a few people coming in to watch the Games because it was the only one that worked," June says. She gives his hand a gentle squeeze. "Sometimes when people retell stories, certain parts of them get lost. I think that might be what happened here."
Rachis looks down at the hand that's resting over his. It's small, warm, and softer than any skin he has touched in a long time. He allows his eyes to meet hers again, looking at her with a newfound sense of vulnerability. "What happened, then?" He asks, although he's scared of the answer. "Just the facts. Tell me what happened. I need to know."
He deserves to know.
Treech struggles to find the starting point. He chews on his lower lip and thinks hard. Even though he and June went over this so so many times, he doesn't actually know where to start now that he's right in front of Rachis.
He feels transported back to his early childhood, when he first met Rachis. He was Birdie's friend, and they'd often play together. When he was younger, he was a sensitive boy who would cry more than others - more than Lamina did at his age anyway.
"I was asked to join an alliance with the pair from Four and the boy from Ten," he starts off. "I wasn't gonna join unless they let Lamina in, but they didn't want her. The only reason I ended up goin' was because she told me to. I tried to change her mind, but she didn't wanna hear it."
A sad smile tugs on Rachis' lips. "Yeah, that sounds like her. When she makes up her mind, it's like talking to a wall after," he says with a shake of his head. He forces himself to hold back his tears when he looks at Treech, his pain almost mirroring his own. "You're sayin' you didn't stab her in the back, then?"
Treech frowns. "June here says I didn't, but I feel like I did. I pissed off Coral, the girl from Four, and since she was kinda leadin' us through the whole mess, she took her partner with her, and they went after her," he explains. "Lamina didn't do anything. It was on the third day, and she was high up all by herself the entire time. They surrounded her."
"I couldn't really... I want to say I couldn't have done anything, but I don't know if that's true," he says. "But Tanner, the guy from Ten, was down there with me. He was supposed to stop Lamina if she tried to run, I guess, and toss the pitchfork up to Coral."
"He missed a few times," June chimes in carefully, unable to stop herself from smiling when she remembers Tanner's clumsy attempts at delivering the weapon to Coral. "I thought he was doing it on purpose."
Treech shrugs. "Dunno about that. Guess we got on well, with us being alone with the pair of them," he mumbles. "But he also couldn't stand Lamina, so I don't know why he'd pretend. I didn't have time to ask him anyway."
He falls silent towards the end, his expression saddening when he remembers how Tanner was murdered right in front of him, likely just because they didn't see any use for him anymore.
He could've been next. And yet, he's still here. He knows he has to thank himself for that, but also June's constant reminder to trust his gut. Sometimes he can't help but wonder if some of the other tributes knew that they were going to die; if they had a feeling that something bad was about to happen, and then it did. Because the moment he saw the suspicious bottle that had been laid out by Lucy Gray, his gut was screaming at him that something was off. If he hadn't listened, he would be dead.
He shakes the thought off quickly, not wanting to go down that rabbit hole right now. "But yeah, it's like I said. They cornered her from both ends, and..." He takes a deep breath. "She did get a hit on Mizzen, but she couldn't have fought them off at the same time."
Rachis falls silent. He looks like he's about to cry, but somehow the thought of his sister not going down without a fight makes him feel better and worse at the same time.
"I thought she gave up the second her name was called," he says, looking in between them, but eventually his gaze lands on Treech. "Was it fast?" He asks, wanting to know for how long his sister had to suffer.
Treech silently nods. "Less than a minute," he replies shakily. "I didn't... I think I was in denial for a minute or two. It didn't feel real."
"It didn't to me either. When they told me... I didn't get it until I was at home," Rachis admits. "I think it only felt real when she came home a few days ago." A lone tear runs down his cheek, but he's able to wipe it away quickly, although it does nothing to stop his lower lip from quivering.
Treech doesn't have it in him to ask if they have already buried her. He doesn't know if he'd be able to handle it, but the sight of what clearly used to be parts of Lamina's shirt decorating her brother's neck tells him everything he needs to know. For a split second, he wonders for how long June would have kept his neck scarf if he died in the arena or if she would have sent it to his family, but he quickly pushes that thought away.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly, closing his eyes for a moment so he doesn't burst into tears as well. It's getting harder and harder by the minute, though, and he doesn't know for how much longer he'll be able to hold it in. "She cried a lot, but she didn't cry once after the Games started, I think."
June nods. "One of the tributes escaped when the arena was bombed during a visit," she adds. "They found him and strung him up in the arena for everyone to see. He was almost dead, I think, but Lamina... She went to him all by herself, and..." She takes a deep breath and forces herself to keep her tears in.
"I think he begged her to kill her. And she did," she says. "I didn't talk to her much, but she was always very kind to me."
"I wish I could've done something." Rachis rasps, and his voice cracks. His hands curl into the fabric of his pants, and his face contorts into a grimace of pain so raw it brings tears to her eyes. "If I had been a year younger, then..."
"Your family needs you here," Treech insists with a firm shake of his head. "I know this is none of my business, but... She told me about your grandparents and that they'd die without her as well. 'Cause the medication is too expensive."
A dry laugh escapes Rachis' lips. "It just keeps on comin' back. We don't even know what it is; we're just buying medicine and hoping it helps," he explains. "Sometimes it does, and it's fine for a while. And then it comes back." He shrugs. "It was Lamina's idea to drop out last year. I guess it just prolonged their suffering, but we just don't want them to die."
"'Course you don't; they're family," Treech immediately interjects softly. He hesitates, but eventually forces his next words out. "I wanna help out if you let me. I... She wasn't crying because she thought she was gonna die all the time; sometimes it was because of what would happen to them if she did. I don't wanna buy myself out of anything' here; I just don't want them to die, 'cause that was her biggest fear."
Rachis' eyes widen. "I punched your - I hurt her," he says, looking over at June. The girl blinks at him, silently holding the kitchen towel against her nose. "You don't need to give me anything. I'll work double and triple shifts if I have to-"
"-But you don't," Treech quickly interjects, his eyes widening as he catches himself. "I don't wanna force you to accept it, but... She couldn't come back home. She didn't say it, but I guess I'm just treatin' it as her dying wish for her grandparents to live."
"I'll think about it. I don't know; this is all just..." He brings his hands up to his face, covering his eyes as he silently begins to cry. He chokes back a sob and tilts his head back, trying to force the tears at bay. He sniffles. "It hasn't set in yet. But if it really happened how you say it did, then I'm sorry for sayin' you killed her."
Treech's gaze drops to the ground. As much as he wants to argue with Rachis that, yes, he did in a way, he doesn't want to take this from him. If this is how he sees it, he'll have to respect his opinion, won't he? He's Lamina's brother.
"I think she blamed me, though," he says after a moment of silence. "When she was about to die, she turned to look at me, and..." He swallows harshly and begins wiping his eyes as the tears begin to fall. "She didn't look sad or scared. She was just angry. She must've felt like I betrayed her."
June frowns, reaching over to grab his hand. She gives it a gentle squeeze but doesn't have it in her to say anything in protest. She saw the look, too, and even through the bad cameras, the look of pure agony mixed with betrayal and anger is one she'll never be able to forget either. She can't imagine how Lamina must've felt in her final moments, and it's not something she'd like to imagine either.
"She just wanted to go home," she says quietly. "And you went back to her to say goodbye too," she reminds Treech, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. "I think she'd be very happy to know that you want to help Rachis too."
"I'll think about it," Rachis says, repeating his previous words. "But I also wanna say again that I'm sorry for what I said. I just didn't know and assumed they told me the truth. It's hard for me to imagine what people are capable of in that place, so I guess I just believed it without really thinkin' about it."
He looks over at June. "And I'm really, really sorry that I hurt you."
"It was an accident," June says with a slight laugh escaping her lips, only to wince again. "It'll take a couple of days, but I'll be okay. I'm not holding it against you."
Rachis nods. "You should," he answers honestly, shaking his head. He wipes at the tear streaks on his face and sniffles. "But if you're not here from the Capitol..." He trails off.
"Just keep it a secret," she quickly says. "I'm technically not allowed to be here."
"So you got into trouble then, eh?" A teary smile tugs on Rachis' lips, nodding over at Treech. "'Cause of him?"
"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her," Treech quickly says, looking at June with so much affection in his eyes that it almost hurts. He leans over, trying to get a closer look at her nose, but the kitchen towel is in the way. His eyes soften. "Just don't tell anyone that she's from the Capitol. I don't want them to take her away from me."
Her heart throbs painfully in her chest, and she gives his hand a tight squeeze. She doesn't think she has the words to fully express what that means to her, but it certainly is enough to make her fall in love with him even more.
When Rachis says nothing, presumably trying to make sense of the scene in front of him, Treech sniffles. "Is she already at the cemetery?"
Rachis nods silently.
"Can you take me there?" Treech asks quietly. "I want to talk to her."
That aside, he needs to see her grave for himself. Perhaps this is the kind of closure that will make it easier for him to accept what happened to her, too. He knows that he'll live with the guilt forever and that he'll never be able to forget the last look she gave him, but he knows that he needs this.
It's a first step, and it's one he desperately needs to take. If he loses himself now, he fears he'll feel like he survived the Games for nothing.
ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ
i miss you,
i'm sorry
ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ
there was meant to be a whole scene for the cemetery here, but the chapter was too long. i also couldn't fit it into the next one, but we are definitely going there in 55! trust me, it will make sense. or, they are going right now but i won't write it out, that comes later
anyway... rachis, right? what do we think?
i was honestly not sure how to approach the topic of lamina's death and its consequences, but i figured that considering how little people have watched the Games in Seven, my approach makes sense. there's just very little known about what happened and those that watched told others, but the story got warped.... yeah. poor treech
and poor june, her nose is suffering. but she'll be okay, trust
next chapter is happy!! very. I PROMISE
thank you for 12k reads!!!<333
i also have a coral fic btw! after drapetomonia, it will be my main focus so do give it a read <3
memes!