You woke up, alone in your room, thinking that you might've overslept. You did. But something felt different, no one interrupted your rest. There weren't butlers knocking and calling your name from behind the door. You could see how late in the morning it was from the strong light coming from outside your window.
Squinting your eyes, you decided to untie the thick curtain, making it fall, covering the large window, making the room quite dim. You walked back to your bed, however, your gaze caught a piece of paper. Your eyes were focused on it as you made an amused expression when you recognized Illumi's handwriting.
I'll be back.
That's what it all said on the paper. You folded it twice and came back to leaning on your headboard,
You recalled what had happen before you dozed off, Illumi was carrying you when you could barely hold yourself up. The two of you spoke, but mostly, it was Illumi scolding you as if you were a child.
Your mind trailed off to the memory of the end of the hunter's exam. It didn't go well for Killua. You expected him to be in solitary confinement already since he arrived before you. You sighed heavily when you're reminded of Killua's helpless gaze on you. You still felt bad, unable to do anything about it. Your mind then reminded you of your argument with Illumi in the hotel's garden.
"What the hell do you want with me? It's not like you'll die if I leave!"
"That's where you're wrong." Illumi just plainly said. You were confused on what he meant. There were too many possible interpretations of it. One of it is, he'll be punished so badly when he doesn't do anything to stop you from never returning to the estate since he was tasked to look out for you. Will the punishment be that bad that he bothered to force you to come home with him? Was he strongly against disappointing Kikyo and Silva? Or does he simply can't bear the thought that he'll never get to see you again?
"You are careless and neglectful of your own safety. How could you leave yourself exposed and vulnerable to a stranger just like that?"
"It was foolish of you to expose yourself vulnerable to him. Foolish is an understatement." You were too tired to notice and realize last night the fact that he was... worried. You failed to notice that he was concerned. Sure he was scolding you but, Illumi isn't capable of properly expressing his worries, so what he said came off quite harsh. Fortunately you were used to it.
You sighed to yourself as you realized it was the first time you slept properly. If it weren't for Illumi's consideration or pity, you would've been in the solitary confinement by now.
"Pathetic. You are utterly pathetic."
Time had passed. You were still on your bedroom, pondering and recalling the events that had happened, the things you've learned and the people you met along the way. You did a lot of self reflection. You were now aware what your mistakes were. You couldn't just leave it to that, you believed you deserved to be punished to make up for it and learn. After all, you did accept Illumi's punishment. "Fine. I'll accept the punishments."
You stood up, approaching your door, when all of the sudden, before you could open it, the door unlocked and opened. Revealing a certain long-haired tall man. You looked up and recognized Illumi. On his hand was a black velvet box, but you were most intrigued by his presence and not what's on his hands.
Your eyes met, you faced each other once again, you were close enough from each other that you could smell his scent. His void-like eyes focused on your indifferent expression.
Before he could speak, you took the opportunity first, "I've done displeasing actions that I was taught were wrong, but I did it anyway. I submit myself to solitary confinement." With that, you left Illumi standing in front of your door as you walked past him, waiting for him to follow you in order for him to help you claim the punishments you've earned.
"Well. That was uncalled for. Unfortunately, I've already dismissed your punishments."
"What for?" You looked back with an emotionless face as your eyes looked down on the box on Illumi's hands then returned your gaze back to his eyes.
It would be unfair that Killua gets his and you're exempted.
"All right then." He said as you continued walking, heading to the underground confinement.
Moments had passed from walking down the endless stairways, you can now hear Illumi following you. He looked at the back of your head, thinking to himself what had gotten in to you. He would've been pleased if you listened to him when he told you he had dismissed your punishments. When you arrived in the estate you were acting strangely, mainly because you were forced to go back with him.
"Whatever are you doing this for?" He asked as if he was tired of your behavior.
"I deserved to be punished is all." You said as if it was enough to really explain why you're doing this. "It wouldn't sit right with me that Killua gets to be punished for the things I've also done." Illumi hummed, expecting you to elaborate further.
You continued, "It wasn't only Killua who intended to run away you know."
Illumi, who's following behind you stared down at your figure with his dark piercing gaze while squinting his eyes. Displeased by your sudden confession.
The taste of rust covered your tongue, you could only spit it out. Your wrists were aching from the tight metal chains, shoulders and arms were sore from hanging while being tied up. Your body numbed from multiple slashes and burns from the electric whip. Your head lowered, your face, scarred and bruised but remained indifferent.
"You know how much I hate hitting that face of yours, it's such a pity, really." Illumi stood in front of you, the weapon that caused your injuries were on his hands. "Now, heal yourself." He commanded.
You coughed out blood, "Y-you're capable of feeling pity?" Arrogance could be traced from your weak voice despite struggling to speak, ignoring his command,
"Maybe I am." You chuckled weakly from Illumi's response without looking at him. Your head remained low, gaze straight on the floor as your hair acted as a curtain on the side of your face.
"Heal yourself." You flinched as you felt the whip sticking on your delicate skin, your flesh earning another wound. Your nose scrunched as you frowned from the pain when you smelt your skin burning from the lethal volt that came from the weapon. The whip left an almost unbearable sting on your flesh as Illumi withdrew it.
The weapon made contact with your skin, again.
And again, "Heal yourself."
And again,
And again,
And again.
The unbearable pain made your brain unable to process the feeling, making you numb from it. Refusing to heal yourself, your flesh dripped blood on the cold cobblestone floor. Cold sweat and tears ran down your face. Your vision was blurrier than before, head lighter than feather. The drippings on the floor were now audible due to your blood pooling on the ground. You couldn't hear anything, not even a sound from Illumi nor a pulse from you, it was oddly quiet.
You finally heard something, Illumi seemed to have placed the weapon on the table full from torture items that ranged from different blades to high-tech devices.
All of the sudden, the door in front of you swung open, making the light from outside blind your vision. The loud thud made your heart jump out of your chest.
"ILLUMI!"
It was Kikyo, she was utterly enraged from the sound of her voice. You could only look up half way with half lidded eyes. Your hair wet from sweat and blood, framed your delicate features.
To be frank with yourself, you could heal half of your injuries without trouble, however it felt wrong that you insisted on being punished but then you heal yourself. It was also the reason why Illumi was usually extra harsh when it comes to punishing you, it's because of your ability to heal. You only consider using this ability of yours to keep up with the training and recovering from injuries you acquire when training or injuries you acquire from a job, not when you think you deserve the punishment during the torture.
"What are you thinking?! Stop this at once!" Kikyo ran inside the isolation room, looking up at Illumi furiously, her visor went crazy as it focused on her eldest. Unconsciously, out of rage, she raised her arm, Illumi was ready to accept the hit, however, Kikyo shakily held her arm down with her other hand, lowering it as she tried to calm herself.
You lost a lot of blood from refusing to heal yourself, believing that all this was meant for nothing if you do so. Your wounded skin, fresh from being abused, grew goosebumps as you felt your body getting colder and colder. You sighed in exhaustion as your consciousness faded in the dark.
When you woke up, the familiar ceiling of your room greeted you. Your wound felt awful, wrists and shoulders were sore. Your head felt like it was hit by a hammer, your face swollen and you struggled to open your eyes. You found yourself in your nightgown while being wrapped with thick layers of bandages assuming that your butler dressed you.
The first thing you did was activate your nen ability, Mend. Focusing on the most important parts of your body, your face first. Several minutes passed, your body began to feel better. Your wounds began to slowly close under the bandages until the pain slowly dissipated.
You unwrapped the bandages on your body revealing faded scars from the wounds you've acquired just earlier. As your head turned to the window, you realized it was nighttime already. Your head then turned to your door as it slowly swung open, revealing Hiroko.
"Good evening, master Y/N. It's good to see that you have already recovered. I have to say, it didn't took an hour for you to awake. Might I add, I was tasked by Master Kikyo to watch you rest." You acknowledged Hiroko with a sigh.
"I suppose you are able to attend the dinner arranged for your celebration, master Y/N. Oh and I must inform you that Master Zeno is on his way home." You only looked up on your ceiling, recalling the torture you've been through just earlier. Not even an hour had passed from receiving your punishment, you've already recovered this quickly.
"What happened?" You asked, sitting up from your bed.
"The mistress was furious at Master Illumi when she found you in such state. But it was all settled now. The mistress had calmed down." Hiroko informed, "Oh, and master Illumi received a scolding."
"Kikyo, furious for what?" You asked curiously, given that your punishments were well deserved. You had it coming and you're aware of the consequences.
"Something about marriage and bearing children, Master Y/N."