KEONTAE
After hopping out the shower, I peeped myself in the mirror. Despite my front, deep down, I wasn't feeling all that confident about my looks. My hair was starting to lock up, a sign that it was doing its own thing, but I just threw on a hat like I always do and finished getting dressed.
I hopped into my car, ready to head to the store to pick up the juice and chips for the kids at the barbecue. The sun was shining bright, and the vibe was chill. As I turned on the radio, some old-school rap blasted through the speakers
I cruised down the familiar streets, nodding my head to the beat as I made my way to the store. Memories of the party from the week before still ran through my mind, seeing Yanna with another nigga just don't sit right with me. I'm not jealous i just want to see her do better. but what's better than me for her?
Pulling into the store parking lot, I spotted a group of kids playing tag nearby, their laughter filling the air. It reminded me of simpler times, of carefree days spent running around with my homies.
I grabbed a cart and headed inside, making a beeline for the juice and soda aisle. As I browsed the shelves, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over me. The colorful bottles and boxes brought back memories of childhood birthday parties and summer cookouts.
After grabbing a variety of drinks and chips I made my way to the checkout counter, exchanging nods and greetings with the cashier.
Once I left the store with all the shit i needed, I decided to take a detour before hitting up the cookout. I headed in the opposite direction, making my way to my momma's crib. Figured it was time to get khalil out the house, maybe meet some kids his age and vibe for a bit.
As I pulled up, Khalil was already posted out front, wearing some new clothes that caught me off guard. Stacked jeans, black and white Jordans, and a matching black hoodie. Made me wonder where he got that shit from 'cause I sure as hell didn't buy him shit like that.
He hopped into the passenger's seat with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Hey, Keekee!" he exclaimed. I couldn't help but grin back. "What's up, kid? Where'd you get these clothes from?"
"Ma got it for me," Khalil admitted, his smile faltering for a quick second. I scrunched up my face, knowing Mom had a habit of blowing her money on nothing but drugs. This genuinely surprised me. "Type shit," I said with a nod. "I like it, you look cool."
"Yeah, yeah, and thank you for the PS5, Keekee," Khalil said, his excitement evident. "This shit is so raw, we gotta hop on the game one day."
I jerked my head back, glancing at him in surprise. "This what so raw?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "This stuff, I mean," he clarified.
As we began making our way to the cookout, I couldn't shake the question burning in my mind. "Where's Momma getting her money from?" I finally asked Khalil, my tone serious.
He looked confused for a second, which I expected since he's just a kid, but then something seemed to click in his mind. "Probably Uncle Calvin," he offered with a shrug. "He's been coming around lately."
The name Calvin sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite connect it to any uncle I'd ever met before. It left me with a nagging feeling in the back of my mind as we continued on our way to the cookout.
Finally, we arrived, and the front and screen door stood wide open, inviting us in. "Get them chips out the back, I'll get the juice," I instructed Khalil, and he nodded, doing as I said. The soft sound of old R&B drifted from the backyard, accompanied by the tantalizing smell of meat sizzling on the grill, wafting towards us.
"Man, that shit smells good!" Khalil yelled i quickly shot my head towards Khalil, my hand cocked back in a playful threat. He flinched, his eyes widening.
"You better not be up in these people house cursing," I warned, my tone mock-serious. "I'll beat the black off you." We shared a laugh, the tension dissipating as we continued our tasks, preparing to join in the festivities.
As we made our way through the house, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. Memories of past cookouts flooded my mind—being a carefree kid, running around with my cousins, and sipping on juice while the grown-ups indulged in the sodas. It felt strange to realize that I was now a part of the adult crowd, no longer relegated to the kids' table. But despite the shift in roles, the familiar sights, sounds, and smells of the cookout filled me with a comforting sense of belonging.
Stepping out into the backyard, all eyes fell on us. I scanned the crowd, searching for one particular pair of eyes—Diamond's. But when I found her gaze, she didn't look too pleased to see me. Her expression sent a pang of unease through me, and I couldn't help but wonder if she still felt some type of way after i was honest with her
"My boy!" Javo exclaimed, springing up from his seat to give me a dap. "Yoo!" I replied, returning the gesture. As we ended the hug, he spotted Khalil standing behind me, his expression shifting to curiosity.
He grabbed the box of juices from my hand, his eyes falling on Khalil. "Who's this lil' man?" Javo asked, shooting Khalil a friendly smile.
I refrained from bringing Khalil around them because, truth be told, Javo and they ass was bad influences, and I didn't want him exposed to that. They knew I had a little brother, but they hadn't seen him before, and I preferred to keep it that way.
I grabbed Khalil by his hoodie, giving him a playful push forward. "Stop being shy, lil' nigga," I teased, prompting Khalil to burst out laughing. "Keekee, iah beat you," he retorted, pushing my leg, but it didn't even budge me.
I introduced him myself, knowing Khalil might struggle to converse smoothly. "This is Khalil, my little brother," I stated, gesturing towards him. "Yayaa," Khalil chimed in, reaching out for a dap too, his shyness momentarily forgotten in the excitement of the moment.
Javo dapped him back, a smile spreading across his face. "Type shit, you cool as hell. Call me Javo," he said warmly. Then, he bent down to Khalil's level, pointing towards a guy across the yard. "You see that guy over there? That's Q. Take him these drinks and chips right quick," he instructed, handing Khalil the bag of chips and the drinks with a nod of encouragement. Khalil ran off doing as his said.
Suddenly, Javo looked back up at me with a look of relief. "Man, I thought you had a kid you never told us about. I was finna be mad as hell," he joked, the tension dissipating as he chuckled.
I smacked my lips. "Me with a kid? Sound dumb as hell," I joked back, shaking my head incredulously.
"I know that ain't Keontae I see," Yanna's dad boomed, rising from his chair. The Nigga was big as hell, looking like he was straight out of jail tattoos covering his torso to his neck.
As he came closer, it seemed like he grew taller with each step, until he stood right above me, towering at about 6'6".
"Government name is crazy," I joked, giving him a tight hug. "Aw shit, what they call you in these streets, Tae?" he asked, using the old nickname my dad used to call me.
I quickly shook my head. "Nah, just Kee. Only my dad called me Tae," I informed him, and he nodded, a saddened smile crossing his face. I knew he and my dad were friends back in the day, but I never paid much attention to how close they really were.
"it's good to see you boy, you grown now and getting money." he smiled pointing at my chain stacked with diamonds
"Yeah, you know how it is, man," I shrugged. That's when I noticed Yanna making her way over. "Daddy, I know you're not burning those wings," she teased.
He smacked his lips and sighed dramatically. "Girl, I know what I'm doing. I've been getting down on the grill since before you were born!"
That's when she looked over at me, a playful grin on her face. I looked down at her, catching a smile growing on my face. But it didn't bother me; she'd seen that smile hundreds of times. "Hey, Diamond," I greeted, returning her grin.
She had on this white dress that hugged her in all the right places, accentuating her curves. Her body was pretty as fuck to me, and I couldn't help but admire her.
Her natural hair was out, and she had plenty of it, unlike some other bald-headed ass females. It was curly and fell to the side, her edges slick.
"Hey, Keontae," she greeted, keeping her playful tone, mindful of her father watching the whole interaction.
In that moment, I wanted to pull her into a hug, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much I missed her, despite having seen her just last week. I cleared my throat, turning away from her to prevent me from doing something stupid in front of her dad. "i thought you said not to call you your government name boy?" he questioned, and I shrugged. "I guess I got favorites," I joked before walking away, trying to diffuse the tension.
I noticed Khalil tossing the football around with a group of boys his age, his laughter blending with the sounds of the backyard. I made my way over to Q, weaving through the crowd of people enjoying the barbecue.
I took my place standing by the gate next to him, our shoulders almost brushing against each other in the casual proximity. Naturally, my eyes traveled to Yanna, who was engaged in playful fighting with her dad, their laughter mingling as he picked her up throwing her over his shoulder effortlessly.
"You fucked her or something?" Q suddenly asked, catching me off guard. I slowly turned my head to look at him "Nigga, what the fuck are you talking about?" Q's question hit me like a curveball, , a mix of confusion and irritation evident on my face. The chatter of the barbecue seemed to fade into the background as I focused on his unexpected inquiry.
"Kee foe, I've known you for how long?" Q's tone was serious, his gaze unwavering. "You have never watched for a female the way you watch for her." His words hung in the air, weighing heavily on the atmosphere between us.
I smacked my lip "Man, you're overdoing it. Ion be watching for shit," I retorted, trying to brush off his observation.
He laughed, but it lacked the usual warmth, replaced by a seriousness that gave weight to his words. "Kee, I know I ain't the smartest nigga alive, but c'mon, if I noticed it, imagine what Javo's thinking. He's smart as fuck, shorty he probably found something was up a month ago" Q remarked, the playfulness in his tone replaced by a sense of urgency.
I sighed, feeling the weight of Q's scrutiny. "I mean, she's just someone I vibe with, honestly she a cool person ." I continued, searching for the right words to explain. "We've been hanging out, talking about life and shit. Ain't nothing more to it." My explanation felt inadequate, but it was the truth as far as I was concerned.
Q nodded in understanding. "It don't matter to me, but it's Javo. You know he don't play about her, and if y'all do end up messing with each other for real, he gon hate that shit. No offense, but you known to mess around with females whenever you want. He just don't want Tey to get hurt," he explained, his words carrying a mix of concern and caution.
As Q spoke, I couldn't help but reflect on the mistakes I'd already made with her. Maybe it was best if I just left her alone, let her be. For whatever reason, it had been hard to distance myself from her, but if I truly cared about her, maybe it was for the best.
Yanna's smile was infectious as she approached us, her enthusiasm evident in her voice. "Keontaeee!" she exclaimed, clearly amused. "Why didn't you tell me we had the same nickname? That's raw as hell."
I shrugged casually. "Only my dad calls me that. Ain't nothing to tell, in my opinion," I replied.
Yanna nodded, "Understandable," she conceded.
Yanna's playful demeanor shifted as she reached for my hat, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "On what, you getting dreads, Kee?" she exclaimed, her voice filled with mock surprise as she placed the hat on her own head.
I shrugged as she adjusted my hat on her head, careful not to disturb her curls. "Man, I'm finna cut this shit off whole time," I muttered, watching her with a hint of amusement.
"no, i could practice my retwisting on you, and to be honest you'd look good with dreads."
is she really doing this right now..?
I chuckled softly at her suggestion, feeling a slight shiver run down my spine as her hand brushed against my exposed arm. "Yeah? You think so?" I asked, giving her a suggestive grin
Yanna returned my grin with a playful smirk of her own. "definitely ," she replied confidently, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
I noticed Q's suspicious glance and decided to change the subject. "So, what's the move after this?" I asked, hoping to shift the focus away from our interaction.
Q raised an eyebrow, his gaze shifting between Me and Yanna. "Y'all seem close" he teased, his tone laced with suspicion.
Silence. I looked over to see khalil running over sweat running down his face and dirt on his new shoes, i would be mad but ian buy it so..
Khalil sprinted over, his eyes bright with excitement. "Hey keekee, i'm hungry" he said, barely pausing for breath.
I notice Q and Yanna holding back their laughter, but I decide to ignore it. "The food's over there. You can make your own plate," I say, nodding in the direction of the food. Khalil nods eagerly and runs off again.
"Ima fuck with you later keekee." Q jokes bursting into laughter as he runs off , yanna couldn't help but chuckle covering her own mouth
suddenly yanna gets a text catching her attention , "oh uh.. i'll be right back."
"Take your time," I reply, watching her disappear into the house. Once she's gone, I turn my attention back to the festivities, trying to shake off the strange feeling in the air.
I stretch, letting out a yawn, and observe Khalil sitting down by Javo, digging into his food. I decide to make my way over and join them.
I sat down next to Khalil, nodding at Javo in acknowledgment. "Is it good, kid?" I asked, watching him fuck that shit up Javo chuckled, but it seemed forced, given the absence of a smile on his face. "You coo?" I questioned
Javo nodded his head slowly, but just as he was about to speak up, he scrunches up his face at something in the distance. I followed his gaze and saw Yanna walking with Hakeem, holding hands.
she just met that nigga folks.
"you know him?" Javo asked. Javo's question brought me back to reality. "Nah, seen him last week with her though," I replied, realizing I had spoken out loud without intending to.
I found myself instinctively reaching for the gun tucked in the waistband of my pants, but my fingers only grazed empty fabric. Damn it. It was still in the car. The sight of Yanna strolling over with Hakeem, hand in hand, sent a surge of jealousy coursing through me. I hadn't anticipated things would escalate to this point—her already introducing him to her family.
"I don't know how to feel about that shit , he look like a nerdy ass nigga though so I'm not finna tweak too much." Javo says in a whispered manner minding the fact that khalil was still next to us
All I knew was I needed to put an end to that shit. I didn't even trust him around her.
I observed as they secluded themselves in a corner. Her smile was bright, and he made her laugh. He reached up to her, brushing her curls behind her ear. He kissed her forehead the same way I did. Then, he eyed my hat that was still on her head, and I assumed he questioned her about it because she took my hat off, placing it on a table next to them.
Watching this just made me feel like a fuck-up. That could've been us if I wasn't so noncommittal.
Unable to bear the sight any longer, I rose from my seat, a mix of frustration and regret clouding my mind. As I passed by Yanna and Hakeem, our eyes met, a silent exchange of emotions passing between us. I shook my head in disbelief, a gesture loaded with unspoken words, before turning away and making my way inside the house.
As the music faded, leaving behind a hush, I felt a wave of solitude wash over me. Alone with my thoughts, the silence seemed to echo the chaos in my mind, each passing second stretching on endlessly as I tried to make sense of it all.
Sinking into the couch, I ran my hands over my head, feeling the weight of confusion pressing down on me. I'd never been so torn up over a girl before. Normally, I never gave a fuck, but with Yanna, it's like she's got me wrapped around her finger. And I can't tell if I hate this shit or love it.
I spun around as I heard footsteps approaching from behind. It was Hakeem, scanning the room as he moved closer. "Oh, my bad. Do you know where the bathroom is?" he asked, finally meeting my gaze.
I felt a twinge of confusion as to why he seemed so comfortable talking to me. Did Yanna tell him we were just friends? Honestly, I wanted to make sure he knew there was more between us.
I opted not to respond, instead choosing to stare him down. but, he didn't back down; instead, a sly smile crept onto his face.
I rose to my feet, now eye to eye with him. "What you here for ?" I questioned. His smile faded, replaced by a frown, as he slid his hands into his pockets. "What do you mean?" he replied innocently.
I chuckled, mostly to suppress my anger. "With diamond. what's with y'all?" i spoke mocking his movements now placing my hands into my pockets
He tilted his head to the side, as if he couldn't imagine why I would be asking him that. "If you're asking about my intentions, I could ask you the same thing." Hakeem's gaze was steady, but there was a hint of defiance in his eyes, like he was daring me to challenge him further. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his interest in Yanna than he was letting on.
"What me and my shorty got going on ain't yo business folks."I emphasized the last word, making it clear that I wasn't in the mood for games. Hakeem seemed to sense the tension in the air, his posture stiffening slightly.
"don't you think that's hypocritical?" his tone and his proper speaking began to irritate my soul His words hit a nerve, but I kept my composure. "Nah, I don't. Because unlike you, I ain't playing games." I spat
"Keontae.." he sighs i immediately step closer to him "fuck you call me?" His eyes widened, realizing his mistake. "My bad, I didn't mean to..." he trailed off, looking somewhat nervous now. "Look all i'm saying is you have no right to question me and my intentions after how you treated her , and honestly i don't think you can treat her any better than i can" he spoke calmly with a hint of aggression
I clenched my jaw, trying to contain my anger. "You don't know shit about me or what I can do for her," I shot back, my voice low but firm.
Hakeem held my gaze, his expression unwavering. "Maybe not," he admitted. "But I know one thing for sure: she deserves better than both of us."
I squared my shoulders, refusing to back down. "You don't know anything about what she deserves," I retorted, my voice low and intense. "And you sure as hell don't know anything about me."
"and you do?" he questions smiling.
"I know enough to know that she deserves better than someone who just showed up at a fucking party folks," I shot back, my jaw clenched.
"Just like i know nothing about you , you don't know anything about me.
i got a lot going for myself , im in college playing basketball and getting my own money.. legally , i think someone like me is better for her."
"the fuck you trying to say, you think you better than me nigga" i'll slap them bitch ass glasses off your face and see who better then." a smile grew on my face. i placed my fingers to his forehead "don't play with your life over a girl that been mine."
Hakeem's expression changed, his eyes narrowing at my touch. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said, pushing my hand away. "She's not yours, and she never was."
I laugh in his face "you gon see soon how much of mine she really is."
Hakeem's jaw clenched, his fists balling up at his sides. "yeah aight." he retorted, stepping back and turning to leave, but not before shooting me a warning glance.
yeah this nigga gots to go.