song: let you break my heart again - laufey
weddings are strange. harry didn't like them at the best of times but this one really takes the cake. there's just something about the wedding of the man you love and his girlfriend (fiancée? wife?) that really made it harry's least favourite thing possibly ever.
to make it worse, it's the best wedding he's ever been to. as if he didn't hate it enough already, it had to be a fairytale fucking wedding didn't it.
if he was a little bit drunker he might've objected during the ceremony. he even made eye contact with simon when 'any objections?' was asked. harry being the first to look away with a gulp of champagne.
and now harry had reached the point where he really was drunk enough to ruin the wedding. however tempting it was, as much as he wanted to, he wouldn't. he wouldn't ruin his wedding. he couldn't do that to simon, no matter how much he hated him right now. instead, harry decided to take up camp in a bush (don't ask. not many other options) with some booze to keep him company. he felt a little sick to be honest.
he'd be thinking a lot recently. about the wedding, about simon, about all of it. he was so sure that simon liked him back for so long. harry broke up with his girlfriend for him. he thought as soon as he did simon would too, but he didn't. even then, harry was still sure. he had hope. maybe it was just harder to do? maybe they hadn't even ever been together and it was some kind of cover up? a career boost? maybe harry was insane, actually.
he just couldn't understand how he and simon could act the way they act for simon not to love him back.
'what're you doing out here, bog?'
it was sunset. harry was sitting on the studio balcony, cup of coffee in his hand, staring at the sky when simon made an appearance.
'huh? oh.' he turned and watched simon slowly step towards him. 'i just... i just like watching the sunset, y'know? reminds me of home. of guernsey.' harry turned back towards the sky and simon made himself comfortable next to him.
'i bet it's gorgeous there.' simon wasn't looking at the sky. harry could see from the corner of his vision that simon was staring at him. 'it is.' harry smiled.
'maybe you can show me one day?' and simon still hadn't looked at the sky once. harry nodded. 'yeah. i'd love to take you guys there.' he's always wanted his friends to see where he grew up.
'i meant you and me. not them.' harry looked at simon. 'i'd like to see your favourite place without a camera watching.' little did simon know that all he'd have to do to see harry's favourite place was look in the mirror.
'knock, knock.'
harry looked up from the pile of dead leaves he didn't realise he'd been collecting to find vik with a sad smile on his face.
'i've been looking for you.' vik said, scanning the area. 'why are you in a bush?' harry picked his bottle up and waved it a little. 'okay, why are you drinking alone in a bush at simon's wedding?' harry let his eyes meet vik's.
he's always had a feeling. a suspicion that vik might've known about it; about his feelings for simon. his eyes confirmed it. he nodded sadly and harry nodded back.
'right, c'mon.' harry only noticed that vik had a box and a cup in his hands when vik shifted them to one so he could hoist harry out of the bush. once harry was standing he peeked into both containers.
'w-why do you have.. coffee and... pie? at a- at a wedding?' harry stumbled over his words (and his feet) as vik budged him to start walking.
'i haven't seen you eat or drink anything without alcohol in since we got here.' harry couldn't really argue with that, so he didn't.
he did, however, keep stopping to turn around and try to go back to the safety of his booze and bush but vik would push him to move forward each time. so harry eventually just let vik lead him wherever they were going.
his phone was ringing.
he pried his eyes open and squinted as his phone lit up the dark room. his eyes were too blurry to read the name of whoever was calling, so he gave up trying and swiped to answer.
'-ello?' he spoke groggily into the phone, frustrated that his sleep had been disturbed.
'hey.' simon's smooth voice came from the other end and all frustration slipped away.
'simon?' he knew it was simon. he'd recognise him anywhere. he wasn't sure why he checked.
'yeah, harry, it's me.' the way simon said it kind of sounded like he knew harry didn't have to check as well. harry didn't reply, just breathed down the phone for awhile.
'why are you ringing me at...' harry pulled his phone from his ear to look at the time. '...midnight?'
'mmmm...' simon hummed down the phone. harry rolled onto his back. 'i just felt like it.' and harry didn't feel tired anymore. he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them quickly again. he wondered if he was dreaming.
'well next time you "feel like" hearing my voice in the middle of the night can you consider putting a video on or something?' he didn't mean it. he just didn't know what to say.
'i didn't want to hear your voice, harry. i wanted to hear you.' what a stupid thing to say. a pathetic huff of air escaped harry anyway and he hoped simon didn't hear it.
'w-well you've woken me up, so- so you better tell me about something interesting, minter.' simon laughed slightly and harry had to physically wipe the stupid smile off of his own face.
'-arry? harry?' vik was waving his hand in front of harry's face, shaking him slightly by the shoulder he was now holding harry up by. 'where's your room key?' vik's waving hand settled palm up waiting for harry to dig out his room key from his back pocket.
they were at harry's room. harry didn't remember getting there. he gave vik his key and wobbled on his feet whilst vik opened the door.
'wh- why are we here?' harry mumbled whilst vik put the coffee and pie onto the desk. 'because you were drunk and miserable in a bush.' vik walked back over to harry and dragged him into the room, sitting him at the desk. 'eat.'
harry reluctantly picked up box of pie and began picking at it with a fork. vik found a chair at the other side of the room and pulled it over to sit next to harry.
'do you want to talk?' vik spoke gently. harry chewed slowly and stared at the pie. 'we don't have to..'
harry let his head turn towards vik and he didn't really have to say anything. vik knew. but he said it anyway.
'i love him.' the walk back to the room must've been a long one because he felt sober when he said it. (he wasn't.) 'i love simon.' vik pursed his lips, guilt written all over his face.
'oh, harry.' he broke and pulled harry into a hug. 'i'm so sorry.' harry didn't say anything. just nodded into vik's shoulder and hugged him back. '...how long?' vik asked slowly.
'since the start.' harry squeezed his eyes shut.
simon minter 3m ago
sometimes i hear love songs on the radio and they make me think of you x
simon minter 3m ago
EDITED THIS MESSAGE
sometimes i hear songs on the radio and the make me think of you
harry saw the original. he read it maybe 47 times in those minutes before simon edited it. he took three screenshots and a picture of his phone screen with an old phone. he watched those three little dots pop up and disappear until they stopped and the message changed. but harry saw. he eventually asked what songs reminded simon of him and simon didn't reply. the next time he got a notification from simon was in the group chat the next day. harry clicked the pop up without reading it.
simon minter 23s ago
engaged ✅
harry stared at the message; at the picture attached. he read it more than 47 times. just to be sure. he checked the date incase it was april 1st. he stared at the picture until it moved up and off of the screen as all of his friends began congratulating simon. harry couldn't bring himself to even type it. congrats. he couldn't. he typed '!!!' pressed send and turned his phone off.
vik pulled harry from his shoulder. harry didn't realise he was crying until the air hit his wet face and made it cold. he wiped his tears with his fist and turned back to the pie and coffee, taking a big gulp.
'does... does he know?' vik asked. harry shrugged and started poking the pie again. 'i dunno i- i thought so he- i thought he did. i thought he... felt the same... i don't know.' he'd never spoken about simon to anyone. it was so scary. what if he'd made everything up? what if it's all in his head? he drank more coffee.
'why would he-' harry cut vik off. 'marry her if- if he loved me? yeah. i don't know.' harry sighed. vik sighed. 'look. thanks for... y'know but you can- you can go back to the party if you want.' harry didn't really want to be alone but he didn't want to be selfish. vik was here to celebrate his friend getting married not babysit a drunk idiot.
'i'm gonna see if i can find you some more leftovers and come back.' vik said. harry met his eyes. they told him he wasn't going anywhere. 'you don't have to.' harry gave him another chance to get out. 'i'll be right back. finish the pie.'
vik walked out of the door and clicked it shut. harry watched it for a few moments before turning to the pie again. more poking it than eating it (even if he was hungry)
he wondered what simon was doing right now. was he dancing? singing? kissing? harry wondered if any of the love songs that made simon think of him were on the wedding playlist, if he still thought of harry when he heard them, if he noticed harry's absence from the party, if simon really didn't like him. if it was just in his head.
there was a knock at the door. harry was confused, he thought vik took the room key with him. he stood up anyway. he expected to stumble to the door but found himself feeling sober. he opened the door wide, expecting vik to walk through. it was simon.
'simon?' simon walked into the room, shutting the door behind him and dragging harry with him. 'what are you doing here?' harry blinked a few times.
'wanted to see you.' simon sat them on the edge of the bed and watched harry. 'it's... your wedding, simon. you shouldn't be looking for me.' simon smiled and put his hands on harry's face, caressing it.
'it's my wedding. i get to do what i want.' harry let his eyes slip shut. 'and what is it that you want?' he whispered. simon huffed out a laugh and pulled harry's face toward him.
their lips met.
the door clicked shut.
harry opened his eyes.
he wasn't on the bed with simon, he was face down in pie. he groaned and lifted his head. vik was in the room again, two more boxes of leftovers in his hand and coffee balanced on top.
harry was still drunk and now he was crying again, tears getting caught on pieces of the pie that were stuck to his face. vik put everything down on the desk and went to the bathroom to get a wet flannel to clean harry up. harry didn't feel like talking anymore. vik didn't either. they sat in silence.
harry drank the coffee, ate his pie and pretended. pretended that him and simon were more than friends.