Minjae's POV:
When I woke up, Han was gone and there was a cold void in my chest. The sun was blazing outside and my eyes stung from the harshness of its rays. My vision was blurry as I surveyed the room for Han but there was nothing in sight.
Rude. She left me hanging.
It felt empty without her. Something felt off but I couldn't pinpoint what. There was a dread settling into my stomach. Like something bad was about to happen. That was when I noticed my gat was placed neatly beside her pillow and my hands instinctively flew towards my face.
It was bare. It was bare. My face!
Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck.
She knows.
That morning I was zipping around the palace looking for Hanni.
Not in her quarters. Obviously. Not the courtyard. Not in the library.
I raced to the location I thought she would be, the palace gardens. I quickened my pace.
"Han? Han? Hanni?! Where are you?!" I called out desperately, praying that she hadn't run off yet. I spotted her in sitting eerily still twiddling with flowers.
"Hanni!" I gave a cautious wave.
No response.
"Han?"
Ignored.
I was about to call her name out again but she gave me a glare that could kill.
My mouth was dry and my head was a mess. I didn't know what to say or even how to start this conversation. I just stared at her with my mouth agape like a fish gulping for air. But I didn't need to say anything because Hanni made the first move.
Slap.
I blinked and didn't move an inch. Hanni slowly raised her hand again.
Slaaap.
The 2nd slap hurt more than the 1st. Tears threatened to spill over from the corner of her eyes as she launched herself at me. Raining blows against my chest. It hurt, the pain was great, yet, I dare not show an ounce of pain.
"I should've known, how was I so stupid." Hanni furiously paced back and forth. She brimmed with anger. With an accusatory finger aimed at my chest. "You're fucking Kim Minjae, not Min. You liar."
Then Hanni's rage seemed to reach its peak and she exploded. Her anger flowed like hot lava. Her eyes would've killed me if they could've.
"I should've- I should've- should've," Hanni was shaking with anger.
"I should've known." Her voice turned uncannily cold. "I knew who you were the moment I met you. But then I little voice inside told me to trust you. And the one time, the ONE time, I trusted that voice. It turned out to be my worst nightmare come true."
"You know what? I regret meeting you, I regret ever saving you, I regret everything, I wish I had left you for dead that day."
She turned away from me, heading for the palace gates. I had to stop her. But I couldn't, my legs wouldn't move it was as if my legs were one with the earth. So just like that, I watched her flee and leave me. And with that, it was the last I ever saw of Hanni. The sweet girl I thought I knew was replaced by a resentful stranger in a blink of an eye. The words that Hanni said had hurt more than the blows of punches and slaps. Slaps and punches hurt in the moment but they heal. Words don't.
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"How many days has it been? Since she left?"
"3 days, your Majesty,"
I poured three shots of shaojiu and was getting ready to down them when I heard my servant's protests.
"Your Majesty, please restrain yourself from drinking anymore."
"Did I ask for your opinion?" I snapped back, "Shut up."
"It's no use getting drunk."
I turned around in a fury but instead of speaking I slammed down the empty shot glass and stormed into the other room, Hanni's room. The room was untouched, still like the morning when she left me. I sat in the room reminiscing the moments that we shared in this room. Some moments brought laughter other times brought me sadness. She was gone no doubt about it. But sometimes I swear I would see her figure again in the corner of my eye.
If I drink enough I'll be able to see her again.
I downed another shot, the burning sensation in my throat and in my stomach made me feel alive again. Shot after shot, I was chasing her shadow. And finally, I could see her in front of me.
"Min..." She called out softly.
"Hanni!" I cried out, "Don't leave me again!"
She giggled, "I'm not leaving silly, I'm right here."
And with those words, I dropped to my knees and broke down. Tears were streaming down my face like a broken dam, pouring all my emotions out.
"I should've- I should've-" I hicked.
Struggling to even put words together Minjae blubbered incoherently.
"I'm right here Min, I'm still with you."
"Are you mad?"
Her ghost just smiled and giggled.
"Are you mad?" I repeated.
She just stared and looked at me like the last time I saw her happy. That same haunting expression, who knew a smile and giggles could be so creepy.
"Come here Min! I want a hug!"
I missed Hanni so much that it made me act out irrationally. I knew my mind was only making these hallucinations to comfort myself but I couldn't help but give in. Crawling across the floor to reach her.
"Han, you're back," I smiled dreamily, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, Min." She cooed as she sat in my lap and played with my hair, "Let's go get some bread, you haven't eaten properly have you?"
"With you? Absolutely!"
The figure let out a soft chuckle and her voice sounded so real as if she really was by my side. But deep down he knew it wasn't her. At this point, I didn't care, I played along, whatever washed-up place I'll end up in the morning would be worth it as long as I was 'with' Hanni.
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"Han...H-han..my head...ughh"
The rays of sun poured in through the window and burned my eyes. My head pounded like I had a drum inside his head. I felt nauseous and dehydrated it was an all too familiar feeling to me. Again...it was another morning waking up in an unfamiliar bed with an aching head and puffy eyes. Slowly opening my eyes I was met with a rather busty woman in my bed.
"Good morning Minjae, would you like another round?" The woman said as she started to peck at my neck, "You were amazing last night."
I pushed her off me, "I don't remember you being there last night."
Did I pass out drunk again?
The door shook against the wall as the guards stormed in.
"Out!"
They made haste and grabbed the lusty woman.
"Goddamned kissaengs."
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"So she came into your bed again," Junggi rolled his eyes and sighed, "A kissaeng?"
"Yes, at this rate your reputation is going downhill faster than we expected."
"Now what do you have to say for yourself?" Junggi scolded.
"..."
"Answer me!" Junggi barked.
"I don't know," Minjae whispered, "I can't live without her."
"Then find her. Duh." He made a mind-blown expression with his hands.
I rolled my eyes and realized he was right. So I saddled up and went on a village inspection. I put on that dreaded gat again for my protection but I feared that once Hanni caught sight of it again she would run off and it would be harder to find her.
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As I arrived in the village, it seemed as busy as ever. I guess that the Julbul Nori festival provided a good harvest. I nodded in approval. Bit by bit we'll build the empire. Inspectors thoroughly searched everywhere. Every shop, every stall, every home, yet no sign.
God, if I have to go to the forbidden district.
I sighed. Next stop Miari.
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Ugh, the smell of sex I hate it. I honestly don't get why men are drawn to such dirty places as these. The women are cheap and are traps. Nothing more than snakes.
As I rode slowly past all the brothels, the kissaengs on the street practically threw themselves at me. Doing provocative things such as accidentally flashing their breasts or lifting up their skirts. Ugh, that's a sea I don't want to be under.
"Last time I checked Miari wasn't on the inspection list!"
"You want some of this don't cha!"
"Sir look over here!"
"Only the best girls work here!"
I covered my face even more in my gat and rode on until-
"Stop, I'm not a kissaeng! I'm not interested!"
That voice, I'd recognize it anywhere.
Down in an alleyway, a small tussle between a woman and a man was happening.
"Fuck off and get lost!" The woman exclaimed as she bent down to take off a shoe.
"You're a feisty one aren't ya?" He grinned. "Well, luckily I like brats."
He lunged and grabbed onto her jeogori. The woman fell to the ground now kicking with deadly force but the man kept coming.
"You fucking bitch, I was going to do this the right way and treat you nicely but since you don't want to cooperate I guess I'll just-"
Before I could dismount and reach the two, a fistful of sand was tossed into the man's face.
"Urrgh," He cowered and yelped in pain. "My eyes, my eyes!"
Then what came next really boiled my blood.
"Hanni, are you okay?" The heroine asked.
"I'm okay, Haerin."
"Hanni, are you okay?" The heroine asked.
"I'm okay, Haerin."
I was dumbfounded and frozen in place like an idiot.
"Argh! You're gonna pay for that!" The man scrambled to his feet, limping off in a pathetic way.
"Psh, crybaby." Haerin spat on the floor. "How are you? Did he touch you?"
"I'm fine, thanks to you."
I grumbled in the distance watching the two act close together. With a surge of jealousy, I followed the two. They were holding hands! Laughing together and Hanni looked...happy with her? As they went deeper into Miari and away from the more popular part of town. It became quiet and isolated but the atmosphere wasn't the friendly type. I started to feel uneasy but I still wanted to see where this was going.
Haerin led Hanni into a tavern and they had sat at the back of the bar in a secluded spot. Watching them laugh and giggle at each other was like a stab in the heart for me. Then the memories started to flood in again. The memories of what happened that ill-fated night.
"Get me a bottle of shaojiu or two."