He goes to the side of me both of us panting, " I don't think I've ever felt that good in my life.." He murmurs kissing my sore skin gently.
" Me..neither... Was that.. me.. Outside..."
He chuckles, " Yep, didn't think you'd like it that much."
I bite my cheek, " Way to ruin the moment..."
He raises a brow, " Ohhhh... we're having a moment?"
" Had." I correct, trying to sound stern though a stupid sex drunk smile creeps on my face.
He obviously wasn't convinced as he still gives me a boyish grin, one that looks satisfied. " I think we're still in it Fury."
" Are we?"
" We are."
We stare at eachother for what seems like hours, just... I don't even know.. admiring?
" You know.. every part of you is perfect.." Xaden whispers tucking some stray hairs away from my face.
I roll my eyes lazily, " Like what? What could be so endearing about me?"
He sighs propping himself on his elbow looking at me, " Well, like I've told you before.. Your eyes. Your smile lights the room, Infact I think all your qualities, every single one is just so damn intoxicating.."
He tilts his head, " But one of my favorites if I really needed to pick one.." His hand goes to my hair once more twirling it around, " Your hair... If you want to win an argument just let it down.. I'll get the point."
I could feel myself melting... literally melting.
" I guess your ok too.." I joke.
He breaks into a full blown smile, he has the most handsome smile I've ever seen. " That's ruining a moment."
" Ohhh we're having a moment?" I mock trying to sound like him.
He narrows his eyes though his smile still stays, " Was that supposed to be me Fury?"
" Maybe.."
He shakes his head slightly looking away before looking back at me with a more somber expression making my smile drop instantly, " What?"
" Do you really want to know about my scars?" He asks all his joking gone as well, his tone soft.
" I don't want to push, I shouldn't have asked-"
" No.. You were right... We need to trust eachother... I mean we're.." He trails off again sitting up, slightly twisting his back so I can briefly see all the scars.
They're all almost uniform, small skinny scars though the look deep not wide, if you didn't look really close you'd think it's just part of the back mark he got from Segyl. My eyes wander down to the.. several I could see, " There's a hundred and seven of them." He says quietly glancing behind his shoulder then at me.
That number sounds familiar... I've heard that before... " Wait-"
" The number of all the rebellion kids. Yea." Xaden interjects.
" These were... all of purpose?"
That alone makes me wanna puke, it makes me want to scar whoeber did this to him, " Why?" I whisper sitting up as well.
He looks conflicted, I see his adams apple bob slightly as he again looks away. I know he's fighting back emotions, he's revealing more to me then probably..hundreds of people just telling me about these scars.
" Not only were they going to kill the traitors and their spouses or realatives... they were going to kill the kids too, wipe our the whole entire species in a way.." He says slowly as if really thinkning of the words to say. " I couldn't let that happen. We didn't-"
He sighs, " I took personal responsibility for all of them, by taking these it proved our loyalty and another chance at life for all of them."
" That's why they're all in the riders quadrant.." I whisper more to myself but looking at Xaden for confirmation.
He nods gravely.
I think this over another horrible though coming to mind, " But if.. one... betrays Navarre..."
" Then I die." He says simply. " These are a reminder to keep everyone in check and citizens."
" Xaden..." I exhale.
" Don't." He says quickly, " I don't need or want pity. It happened years ago, people say the worst pain you experience is the easiest to forget. The pain is forgotten."
" I think that shitty promise is worse then the pain.." I mumble.
He doesn't say anything for awhile again, I lean in kissing the base of his neck softly. " They're lucky to have you." I pull back a little looking into his eyes with a small smile, " It might not mean much... But I can try to protect you too... Not only because we're bonded... because you deserve it.. after everything you've done that I know about."
I feel him tense, though he wraps an arm loosely around me. " I should go.." He whispers into my hair.
" No. Stay."
" Look at me." He demands softly, which I obey looking at him longing. He pecks me lightly, " I'd... really like to.. but night patrol will be switching soon and if they see me... They'll talk and if anyone mentions you.. I can only get away with so much killing for you Fury.."
This makes me smile, " Oh, so the master of shadows can still get caught? I think that's just what I'm hearing.."
Xaden's smirk twists, " You and I both know that's not true."
" Then stay." I purr kissing his relic. " Unless you don't want to lay with me.. with nothing.." I kiss him again, " Between us, no clothes, just us.." I trial lower before pulling away, " But if you really need to go.."
He groans looking like he was in pain, though I have him right where I want him. " Did you seriously need to do that?"
" Do what?" I ask dumbly.
His grip tightens on me, " Fine... But this doesn't mean we're.."
" I know."
" And we can't just switch how we-"
" You think your never going to piss me off again Riorson."
He chuckles, " Same to you. Just because this happened doesn't mean we could ever..." He trails off, " I don't regret it but-"
I feel that pit as I nod, " No, I know."
There was silence again, Xaden laying us back down. " I knew your signet would be something so.. powerful."
I shift looking at him, " How?"
He looks down at me, " That night... when the dragons.."
" Well aware.."
" Do you remember what happened when we kissed? When Rhys manifested a little?"
I bring myself closer to him taking in his woodsy scent, " It.." Then it hit me... " Lightning and storming in winter.."
He nods, " And don't take this the wrong way... but your personality and everything about you was... chaotic.. so it fits in a way.."
" Signets show who you are." I say quietly.
I feel his hand grip my cheek, " That doesn't mean you are.. in a way. You just had a shit past. Again, everyone and yourself doubted you. And look, again you prove them all wrong with your amazement. It takes a a lot of darkness to see a star shine Fury, and you do it's... utterly beautiful."
All I could do was smile. I don't know how he seems to always think so highly of me, ven when he calls me a dumbass or impulsive.. he still sees me. He thinks I'm something worth looking at or I guess in our case protect.
" Thank you.." I whisper after awhile.
" For what?" he asks.
I shift, wrapping my upper half around his arm as my face is facing him. " For making me feel seen and appreciated after all this time."
I was slowly drifting to sleep when I feel the softest, tender kiss on my temple drawing me into the peace of slumber.
Knowing damn well I'm already falling for Xaden Riorson, knowing damn well he has my heart in his hands, knowing damn well he has the power to destroy me if he really wants to.
Knowing damn well I can't do one thing about it. Nor would I want to.