Triggers: OCD Tendencies, Anxiety, Panic Attack
Nick's POV
Charlie and I are woken up by a crashing sound from the common room. He looks at me, his eyes wide, before quickly crawling over me and sprinting out of the room. I follow behind, not as fast though, until we are in the common room. "What happened?" Charlie asks as he turns to face into the kitchen. When I get to his side, I see glass and a shelf all over the floor. Elle and Tao are standing right init. They must have tried to get something from the cabinet and the shelf gave way and everything fell out.
"Are you two okay?" He asks frantically. "Yeah, thankfully we are wearing shoes or this would have really hurt." Tao says, chuckling a little. There is stirring coming from the common room and soon enough everyone piles in behind or next to Charlie and I. "What was that?" Isaac yells as he comes jogging in from his bedroom. "The cabinet shelf broke when I tried to get a mug for tea." Elle says. "I'll clean it up. Why doesn't everyone start to get ready." Charlie says, his arm wrapping around his bicep. "If anyone wants to shower, you can use the one in my room and the hallway one." He adds calmly before turning around to wiggle through everyone and heading to the front door.
Tao lifts Elle up and lightly tosses her to us so she's not standing in glass anymore. He jumps on the counter top and shakes his shoes, letting little shards fall on the ground before he jumps around the glass pile. "I am for sure going to shower." Imogen says, breaking the ice for a new focus. Everyone starts to head back into the common room, chit-chatting a little. I run back to Charlie's room and grab my shoes and a pair of his shoes. When I come back, Charlie is alone in the kitchen just staring at the floor just shy of the pile of glass, broom in hand. "Char, here." I say when I come up behind him, handing him his shoes. He doesn't say anything but just puts his shoes, shoving the laces in the high top. I put my shoes on while he starts to push the glass into a pile. I scoot around him to sit on a countertop, making my way to the front of the glass pile. I stretch my hand out for the dust pan and finally see his face. He looks like he's fighting back tears.
I jump off the counter as he hands me the dust pan. "Charlie?" I ask softly as I squat down. He tries to not look me in the eyes when he pushes the glass into the pan. "Char, are you okay?" I ask when he finishes scooping the last pit of visible glass into the pan. "Stay there." He says flatly before walking back to the front door closet. When he comes back, he has a few plastic bags in his hand. I stand back up, slowly pushing the pan into the bag. He ties the bag and puts it inside four other bags before throwing it in their trash bin. When I am about to step towards him, about to ask him what's wrong again. He finally looks me in the eyes and shakes his head before going back to the front closet. I stand still, crossing my arms across my chest. I trace small circles on my bicep until he comes back with a vacuum. He vacuums the floor for a few minutes before taking the vacuum back to the closet.
"Char."I say slightly defeated when he comes back into the kitchen. "Can you please talk to me?" He walks up to me, both hands wrapped around his elbows as he looks at the ground. "My favorite mug was in that cabinet. I know it's silly because it's no one's fault but I just felt something when I saw the pieces. I just felt like I couldn't do anything until I cleaned it up. Like I barely could talk." He whispers, slowing looking up at me. I nod my head and take a small step close to him, wrapping my arms under his shoulders to hug him tightly. I rub small circles on his back until he wraps his arms around my waist. We stand there for a few minutes until we hear Isaac clear his throat. Charlie lets go and takes a step back. "Sorry to... interrupt." Isaac laughs a little. "Um, I called maintenance and they said they can come in an hour to fix the cabinet. They also said they will check the other cabinets as well so it doesn't happen again." He adds. Charlie lets out big sigh. "Thanks Isaac." He says, a small smile on his face.
"I am going to get changed. I think everyone so once you guys are good to go, we can head for breakfast." Isaac says before walking back towards his room. "Why don't we get ready?" I suggest. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." He says and smiles at me. He takes my hand and starts to run back to his room. We get inside his bedroom and I slowly shut the door behind me. When I turn back around, Charlie is already looking his drawers for clothes. "Do you feel better?" I ask cautiously. "Yeah, I feel better that someone is coming so quickly." He says before standing back up. He hands me a pair of my sweatpants and a t-shirt. He takes his clothes and heads in to the bathroom. I quickly change and sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to come out. I play on my phone for a few minutes before he comes out of the bathroom. "All your's." He says as he comes up to the bed and runs his hand through my hair. I close my eyes and savor his touch before getting up.
I brush my teeth quickly and brush my hair so I don't completely look like a mess. When I walk back into his bedroom, he's making his bed. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. "Ready?" I ask, resting my chin on his shoulder. He turns in my arms to face me before he kissing my lips softly. I take his hand in mine and lead him out of his room to the common room. Right when we get into the room, everyone gets up. "So bottomless mimosas?" Elle asks, raising her eyebrows as us. "Sure." We both say and laugh together.
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"Tao are you almost ready?" Isaac yells from the common room. "Yeah, the girls are going to be here any minute to meet us to drive to Nick's" Charlie shout. "I like your costume Charlie. I didn't think you were a Marvel fan..." He says and giggles. "Well I really only like Spider-Man so it worked out nicely, I think." Charlie says. "I like your's too Isaac. I think us putting the hair dye in really makes the costume come together." Charlie notes. Isaac's dressed as the teacher from the Magic School Bus. He made the outfit himself and we put temporary red hair dye in his hair to really bring it all together. "Tao, come on. Tara just said they are almost at the parking lot!" Charlie shouts again but this time laughing.
Charlie comes over and sits next to me, throwing his legs across my lap. I wrap my arm around his shoulder as he lays against me. I kiss his cheek softly before smiling. We hear a door shut and a few moments later, Tao comes into the common room where we are all sitting. "Wow." The three of us say together. Tao is wearing a suit, his hair slicked back and suspenders. Him and Elle are going as Mr. And Mrs. Smith. "Is it too much?" He asks, shrugging his shoulders. "I think it's the perfect amount." Isaac says, clapping his hands before standing up. Charlie hops off my lap and takes my hand to pull me off the sofa.
We head downstairs, after Charlie locked the door and triple checked, right at Elle pulls up in front. All the windows of her car open and the girls all shout hellos. "I'll follow you Nick." Elle says just as the girls wave and put the windows up. Isaac and Tao hop in my backseat while Charlie gets in the front seat. I hand him my phone to plug in and turn on our playlist. When he finds the song, he reaches for my hand and holds it on his leg. I pull out of the parking spot and, with Elle trailing, drive the few minutes to my house.
When we get in front, I honk the car horn. Elle and I park the cars in the driveway before we all scramble out. A few minutes later, my flatmates come out, dressed in the corresponding colors of Alvin and the Chipmunks. "I already ordered the cars so they will be here soon." Imogen says before handing her phone to Sahar, who puts it in her bag. "Where is Tori and Michael?" Darcy asks. "They are going to meet us downtown. I guess Michael wanted to try and put face paint on Tori who was not having it." Charlie says before chuckling. "I should call her and tell her we are about to leave." He adds before stepping away from the group. I watch as he talks with her on the phone before he comes back over just as the cars pull up. Everyone piles into cars and we set off for the night.
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We make it downtown and get dropped off at the square which is booming with people, adults and college students. "Where to first?" Isaac asks as he starts pointing around aimlessly at bars that are booming with people. Everyone looks around until Otis points out a bar. It has disco and strobe lights popping out through the front doors and the line to get inside is one of the shorter ones. We all walk over and wait in the line. "Charlie." I hear a familiar voice so I turn around to find the source of the voice. I nudge Charlie's shoulder lightly and he turns around just as his name is repeated. "Tori! There you are." He says relieved. Her and Michael duck under the rope. Charlie hugs her tightly, longer than normal before pulling apart. "Tori! Michael" The Squad says and waves. Elle grabs Tori's hand and pulls her to be with the other girls.
"Michael, I really like your costume!" Christian remarks. He's dressed as Sherlock Holmes. "I can't believe you wanted to put face paint on Tori. You should have know that wasn't going to work." Charlie laughs and Michael sighs with a smile. "I know. I was really trying to make her look like a panther to go with her black ears but after we wiped it all off, we agreed on freckles and small whispers." Michael chuckles. We continue moving in the line until we are at the front. "How many?" I hear this very tall woman ask at the front to the girls. "14." Elle says after counting us all. She looks at our group and then raises the rope for us to go in.
Immediately we walk inside the door and are blasted with club remake music and the smell of alcohol. So many people are huddled on top of each other whether they are drinking or dancing. Charlie takes my hand and clings to me while we walk. I look down at him and see his eyes flashing around as we make our way through the crowd. I intertwine our fingers and lead him as we keep up with the group. We eventually make it to the bar front and Tara and Sahar order a round of shots and drinks for everyone. Soon enough, they had out our drinks. "Wait wait!" Tara shouts and shakes her hand. Everyone looks at her before she raises her shot glass. We all match. "Happy Halloween night!" She yells and we all swig our shots.
I look down at Charlie who looks to have loosen up a little bit. I let go of his hand before wrapping my arm around his side and pulling him close. He wraps his arm around my waist as we stand hip to hip. When I look down at him, he immediately looks up at me with a small. I lean down and kiss his lips softly. When I pull back his smile grows bigger and he can't help but giggle.
We only stay at this bar for a little bit, there wasn't a lot to do. No dancing. No singing. Just heavy drinking. Imogen said she was talking to someone in the bathroom and said there was a bar that had live music and people were dancing. The bar is called Baby Jo's.
When we get to the new bar, the person was absolutely right. There is a party DJ and live music making mashups and loads of people dancing. So much livelier and there are even themed Halloween drinks. Elle orders everyone some shots and some drinks before we make our way to the dance floor. Charlie and I kind of just stand there for a little bit while everyone else dances around with each other. "Do you want another drink?" Charlie asks in my ear. "Yeah, thanks." I say as he takes my glass from my hand. I watch as he walks away before I turn and Imogen is standing right in my face. "Uh, hi Imogen." I say laughing. "You're being lame Nicholas." She laughs. "Yeah, you really are Nick." Elle says, crossing her arms across her chest.
"I am not doing anything, how can I be lame?" I say, my face flushing with a small bit of embarrassment. "Exactly!" Elle, Imogen, and even Tara come shout in unison. My embarrassment quickly leaves my body and I can't hold back laughing. The girls grab my arms and pull me into the middle of their dance circle but I just awkwardly stand there. "Why do I have to dance, Tori isn't!" I point out as she's just standing near the circle. "I don't dance." She says flatly, but with a small smile on her face. "But I do." Michael shouts from behind Tori. He takes my hands in his and starts waving them around while jumping. I stand there for a second before I join in on the weird dance moves he is making up. The Squad starts to shout and jump when they see me joining in.
We dance for a few minutes until I start to think about Charlie. "I am going to find Charlie, he should have been back by now." I shout to Tori who nods her head. I maneuver my way through the crowd and head to the bar. I move all around the bar but I can't find him. I ignore the panic I am starting to feel and make my way to the bathroom. I quickly push my way through the hallway until I walk in to the bathroom. "Charlie!" I yell but there is no one else in here. I make my way back to the bar. "Hey, have you seen this guy?" I ask the bartender as I show him the picture of Charlie and I from my lock screen. "Yeah, I am pretty sure he went towards the front door a few minutes ago with someone." They say as they pour a drink into a glass.
My anxiety starts to rise and I feel my heart start beating faster. I push my way through the crowd as fast as I can before I make it to the front door. I make my way outside and immediately start looking around. I start to jog to the square and I start to spin around. The more I spin, the dizzier I get and the harder it feels to breathe. I place my hand on my chest as I make one more full spin, trying to get my breathing under control. "Charlie!" I try to yell but everyone is shouting just as loud. I run to the side into the alleyway between Baby Jo's and the restaurant next door. I make it all the way down and back two times before I collapse against a brick wall, sliding to the ground.
I pull my knees to my chest and place my face against my knees. I start to feel tears stream down my face slowly until they drop onto my costume. I let out a small scream and place my hands on my head. I feel myself start to shake now and my teats start to stream faster. No go find him! I tell myself. I take a few deep but struggled breaths before pushing myself off the ground. I wipe my eyes which helps clear my vision. As I walk down the alleyway, I start to feel lightheaded so I lean against the wall as I walk. By the time I make it to the end of the alley, I feel less lightheaded but just as shaky.
I walk past the line at Baby Jo's before turning the corner to the other side of the building which has a side entrance to the bar and street access since it's on the corner. "Ch-Charlie." I try to yell but it just comes out a little louder than my speaking voice. I make it to the side door and once the door shuts and someone passes by, I can hear talking. Almost like arguing. My body slows with the shaking as I make my way to the end of the building, about to turn the corner to be behind the bar.
"I asked you to just leave me alone!"
"I can't do that. You didn't even give me a real chance."
"I didn't need to because you showed the real you right from the beginning! Get off me!"
"Charlie, I didn't do anything to you!"
My body takes action before my mind catches up. I turn the corner and start to jog down the back way until I see to figures. I get closer until I see Charlie, his face is wet from him crying. I am just a few feet from them when I see that the person he's yelling at is Ben. He has his hands on his hips and pushing him against the wall. I get close enough to grab Ben by his shoulders and throw him off Charlie. "He said to get away from him!" I aggressively say before shoving him further away from us. "There he is... your knight in shining armor." Ben says sarcastically, waving his hands dramatically through the air. "Whatever. You owed me an apology Charlie for leading me on like that. I thought you were different. I thought you were actually a good person." He says, rolling his eyes. He takes one step back, shaking his head, before he turns around and walks to the other end of the back way.
When he turns the corner, I quickly turn to Charlie just in time to catch him as he slides down against the wall. We fall to the ground and I pull Charlie tight into my arms. "Char, you're okay. I got you. I'm here." I whisper over and over while he cries in my arms. I rest my cheek against the top of his head as I rub his back. We sit like this for I don't know how long. It could have been minutes or hours. It isn't until I hear Charlie mumbling something that I lift my head. "Char, what are you saying?" I ask him softly. He doesn't pull away from my chest, his face still buried. "... am.. hor... person." Is all I hear. I think for a split second before I take both of my hands and hold his face to look at me.
"Hey, hey... Char you are an amazing person. You are so strong. You are so selfless. You are so passionate. You're my favorite person Charlie. My absolute favorite person." I kiss his forehead. "I don't know what I would do without you in my life. You are the best thing to have come into my life, Charlie Spring." I whisper. His eyes soften, a few tears falling down cheek. I use my thumb and brush the tear off his cheek as I smile. He slips one hand under my arm to hold my face, brushing his thumb over my cheek. "You're my favorite person too Nick." He whispers, his voice cracking a little. He quickly moves to wrap his arms around the back of my neck, pulling me into a tight hug. My arms slide across the middle of his back as I push my face into the crook of his neck.
We rock slightly from side to side as we hold each other until we both calm down. "Nick?" He whispers, without letting go. "Yeah?" I whisper, turning my head so my head is resting against his. "Can we leave?" He asks. I lean back, my hands still on his back. Before I say anything, he quickly adds, "Can we just go home?" I smile before pulling him into another hug. "Of course." I whisper.