Bianca couldn't stop thinking about the letter she had found at Emma's parents' house on Christmas day. Much less after discovering that it wasn't the only one she had never received. There was a whole box of letters with her name on it, but she had time just to read a few of them.
My love,
Happy birthday, darling. Twenty is such a big number, isn't it? You must have grown up a lot since I last saw you. I bet you're even more beautiful than the last time we saw each other, even though you were already a goddess. Today, while I was looking through my old things, I found your white bracelet, and I remembered when you told me that it was your favourite colour. Initially, I had found it weird given all the existing colours, but then you explained to me that you liked it because it made you have hope even when you were at your lowest. I wore it, hoping that it would have the same effect on me, but nothing. It didn't work, and you know why? Because you were my hope, Bianca. You made me see the light in a room full of darkness, but you're not here. You're in Massachussetts. Your mother told me you are studying dentistry, I'm proud of you, love. Yes, I know you would get angry if you knew I still talk to her, but I can't help it. Knowing how you are doing helps me to ease a little bit this excruciating pain I have had in my heart since I closed the door of your parent's house. I still remember clearly how you were sleeping peacefully (snoring as always) as your hair fell onto your face. You didn't know yet that it was going to be the last time we were gonna be together...
I wish you all the happiness in the world, darling. May you realise all of your wishes. You deserve it. You deserve the whole universe. I'm sorry if I couldn't be the one who gave it to you.
Forever yours, Emma.
Reading it made her very confused. There was something she wasn't understanding and that Emma evidently had omitted to write in the letter she left her before leaving. But that wasn't the only one which left her utterly astonished.
My darling,
It's July thirty first. I don't have the strength to do anything but cry. It should have been the happiest day of our life, and instead, it's the worst, at least for me. I'm miserable without you, darling. Perhaps even I forgot how to breathe, cause I feel like I'm choking, like I'm drowning in the middle of the ocean knowing I can't be saved. Today, it should be our ten years anniversary, love. And it would have been if it hadn't been for a stupid- ugh, no, let's not go down that path. I had so much in mind to celebrate us. I wanted to bring you in the same place we shared our first kiss and finally propose to you. I had been thinking non-stop about it since I gave you the promise ring, but it seems that I haven't been able to keep my promise. After giving you the promise ring, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you walk down the aisle. You would have looked breathtaking, a dream. I sincerely believed that we were meant to be together, but unfortunately, destiny had other plans for us. Right now, actually, you could even be engaged to someone else and be happy with them, while I can't move on from you despite all my efforts. There is nothing I wanted more than having you as my wife, but here I am, all alone while I write letters I will never send to you. Forever, that's what I wanted with you. To grow up old and watch our kids wander around our house. And instead, I did the exact opposite, leaving you because I wasn't brave enough to tell you the truth. I hope that I might get blessed with the chance to see you again someday, honey, even if perhaps I would begin stuttering uncontrollably because that would mean I would have my other half before me. Maybe one day we will meet again, my love, but even if we didn't, I will always have an eye on you. You're the owner of my heart, Bianca, never forget that. I love you, darling, and I always will.
Yours, Emma.
She even wrote to her when she finished filming Harry Potter.
Darling,
Today, it's been my last day on the set of Harry Potter. I can't believe it's over. It has been a ten years journey, which I unconsciously hoped never ended, but all the great things end sooner or later, unfortunately. What hurts the most is that, for me, it was a sort of way to be connected to you. We practically dated until the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and you often came on set to spend some time with me since I was always there, so I associated it with your presence. We even met because of Harry Potter. Actually, we would have met the same since I had to tutor you, but that doesn't count cause we met before our first tutoring session. I don't think I've ever told you this, but that day, I should have been on set. However, the director told my mum that the main camera was broken and that they couldn't film. So I went to school cause it was out of discussion that I missed one day when I wasn't on set, and I saw you, my love, so young and beautiful. And now that it's over, it seems that even the thin red thread that kept me connected to you definitely broke. You've always been there to support me through thick and thin, but today you weren't there with me, and it's all my fault. I pushed away the only person I truly need to feel myself. I pushed away the only person I've ever loved in my life. I pushed away the love of my life... I miss you...
Yours forever, Emma.
And then there was one which she supposed Emma had written shortly after she got a degree in dentistry at Harvard University.
My darling,
Your mum sent me a video of you at the degree ceremony. It's useless to say that you looked stunning. You would be the most beautiful girl on the planet, even wearing a basket of fruit on your head. I wish I had been there to support you, but I couldn't just pop up out of nothing and show to you, could I? You've become a strong young woman, sweetheart. I'm very proud of you, darling. But I've always known you would achieve all that you desired. Since the first time I saw you, I knew that you were going to do something great. I really missed seeing your bright smile. Seeing it in the pictures isn't the same, but I didn't have any video with me. I also got the privilege to listen to your melodic voice and to your laughter. Oh, darling, I missed them like air. You're like oxygen to me, Bia, and I feel like I'm just existing without you, not living. I might sound repetitive, but I miss you so much, my love. I miss everything. The way you felt im my arms, the light you shined with your mere presence, our late night talks, our cuddle sessions while watching a movie, your voice, your smell, your kisses, your hugs, your jokes... I miss how you made me feel. I terribly, deeply miss you, and I'd give everything I have to be with you right now. Your absence breaks me into small pieces, Bianca. You took my heart away with you, sweetheart, but I wouldn't change a thing of our past. Loving you was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will be forever grateful to you for giving me the chance to be part of your life. I still believe that we are soulmates, darling, we just met at the wrong time... I'll always be yours, even in hundreds of years. And who knows, maybe in another universe, you'd be my girl forever...
Yours truly, Emma.
She had cried all her tears when she read them. In all honesty, she didn't know what to say or think about them. She had always thought that the actress had left her to pursue her career and that she didn't love her anymore. Therefore, what did those letters mean? That Emma still loved her? Uhm, she wasn't so sure of that. I mean, she was with Tom, and she isn't the kind of person that would date somebody without feeling anything for them. If only Bianca had come back before to London now, maybe they would be a couple again...
Because if she was right, the last letter had been written more or less a year ago, and back then, it seemed that the actress still loved her.
*******
"You have zoned out another time, Bia," Dan said, snapping his fingers in front of her face to get her out of this state of trance.
Today, they had to announce their fake relationship to the world, but Bianca wasn't very present to herself being too occupied to think and rethink about what she learnt from the letters.
"Huh? Yeah, I heard you." She shook her head to get a grip on herself. She could have daydreamed later, but at the moment, she had something important to do.
Dan and Rupert, who kindly accepted to join them, smiled softly at her. "I said that we don't have to kiss if you're not ready yet. We can just publish a photo of us cuddling."
"I don't mind it, really," Bianca affirmed, irritated, running a hand through her brown hair, "and it has to look realistic. Let's just do it." In reality, she was nervous as fuck, and definitely didn't want to kiss anyone who wasn't Emma, but the agreement didn't include her.
Dan could see the sadness and the frustration behind the girl's big, expressive eyes. He tenderly stroked her back, trying to come up with another idea that could convince Bianca not to kiss him, but nothing seemed to work.
Then something happened in her head, making her want to be over with this sooner rather than later. "Come on, Dan," Bianca said, gesturing to the boy to stand up with her, "kiss me."
The actor's eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by his friend sudden change of mind, but he obeyed nevertheless.
"You better take the best photo of your life, Rup, cause I'm not an actress, and it's not even into my wildest dreams kissing Dan. No offence, of course," she smiled at Dan.
He chuckled, lifing his arms up in surrendering, "oh, don't worry, by now, I've lost the count of how many times I've heard this phrase from Emma or Bonnie. I'm used to it."
"Yeah, well, at least Emma didn't tell you that kissing you was awkward," Rupert replied slightly offended, selecting the camera on his phone.
"Don't tell me that your ego can't handle it, Rup," Bianca teased him. "She also said that you were a gentleman."
He shot her a glare in response. "She should have added that I'm an excellent kisser, just like she did when she commented Dan's kissing skills."
"Well, about that, she also said that kissing me was awkward," Dan added.
"Yes, but -" Rupert argued, but Bianca cut him off.
"-OKAY, guys," she said in a loud voice, "I'm sure you are both incredibly talented kissers. Now, can we just be done with this damn kiss and never talk about it again?"
'Ugh, boys. How complicated!' She thought, rolling her eyes. 'I should have done this with Florence and Bonnie. It would have been much easier.'
They vigorously nodded. "Wonderful," she breathed out, "now come here, Dan," she urged.
The actor came close to her, gently placing one of his hands on her hips as the others went to delicately caressed her cheek. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He asked, lowering of an octave the tone of his voice.
"Yes," the younger girl faintly murmured, as she looked into his ocean eyes, feeling her throat completely dry due to the nervousness. She looked so small into his arms, vulnerable, almost on the verge of breaking. He felt like he needed to protect her, shielding her from the cruel world, but he couldn't accomplish it.
What he could do though, was making sure that his lips didn't touch Bianca's. He internally rejoiced, feeling proud of himself for even thinking about something so articulated.
"You know I will make fun of you for ages, don't you?" The redhead mocked them.
"Yeah, yeah, but now shut up, Rup," Bianca scoffed, annoyed, making him laugh, amused by her reaction.
Dan turned his head towards her, smiling softly as he slowly began to lean in, whispering: "Trust me, Bia."
She weakly wrapped her arms around his neck, welcoming him, but when he filled the gap between them, he didn't actually kiss her on the lips, but very close to them, making it seems that they were kissing when they in reality weren't. His beard ticked her skin as he was connected to her, making her regret not having told him to shave. She wasn't used to this sensation since she had only ever kissed one person in her life, and it was a woman.
She was immensely grateful for having to do this with Dan. She knew he wouldn't do anything that would cause her discomfort, and that's exactly what happened. He didn't dare to kiss her even though, theoretically, he should have to according to the agreement because he was aware of the fact that she didn't want to. He was truly the definition of a gentleman.
"And... done," Rupert said after taking the photo, and Dan instantly pulled away from Bianca, winking at her. "This will our little secret, Bia."
She cracked a smile, instinctively hugging him. "Thank you, Dan, for everything," she murmured over his ear.
The boy laughed quietly, reciprocating the embrace, gently stroking his hands on Bianca's back. "You're welcome," he replied, "but I already fear what Emma will do of my head for even touching you."
This brought her back to think that she needed to talk to the actress. She suspected Emma had kept something away from her for all these years, and now she wanted to know what it was. That she liked it or not, she wanted the truth.
********
Bianca was chilling on the couch, obviously watching Harry Potter. This time, she opted for Harry Potter and the Chambers of Secrets cause it reminded her of when she met Emma. Perhaps when she spotted her in the school's hallways, she had just finished filming it.
She laughed to herself, thinking about how intimidating she thought the actress was at the beginning when, looking at her right now, she was just a baby. In her defence, Emma was, and is pretty scary sometimes. Especially when she does that tilt head thing. That had been the only reason which persuaded her to go to her first tutoring lesson. Oh, God, who would have thought that a girl met under those circumstances when she was eleven would have become the love of her life! Certainly not her.
"Your Emma really got mad, Bia," Florence somehow emitted as she was busy munching on chips next to her. She wasn't paying attention to the film, too focused on staring at her phone to see what comments arrived under the photo of her and Dan kissing that the boy had posted on his Instagram a couple of hours ago.
"Why do you think so?"
The taller girl directly showed Bianca the page of Dan's Instagram where the actress had commented.
@Emmawatson: Congratulations, guys👏👏 I'm happy for you.
Bianca frowned, not getting how judging from Emma's comment, Florence could imagine that she was mad. "I don't see anything wrong with it."
Florence blinked several times, alterning her look from the phone to Bianca. "I've always been aware that you can be a little thick when it comes to love, Bia, but now I'm staring to worry about you, my friend. How can you not understand that she wished that Dan was deep underground at the moment? Should have she written: "Daniel Radcliffe, your end is near? "
"You're terrible," Bianca joked, stealing a few chips from the brunette's package.
"I'm not terrible, I'm realistic," Florence corrected her, "moreover, with that caption, what did he expect? If anyone had told me I would have fallen in love with you, I would have said that they were crazy. Not because I didn't like you, but because we have hated each other since the first time we met. I had to tutor you because you were failing English literature, and you had decided that you despised me even before you actually got the chance to meet me in person. Luckily, from there, things escalated quickly, and you understood that maybe I wasn't that bad. And now, after so many years, I can finally call you mine. You made me the happiest man on the planet Earth when you accepted to be my girlfriend. I love you, darling." She read, leaving Bianca with the jaw on the floor.
She had no clue what there was written on it since she left Dan's apartment as soon as they were sure they had a good picture of them. However, she didn't think that Dan or Rupert would ever use her and Emma's lovestory to find something creative and romantic to write in the caption of the post. If they had run out of ideas, they could have simply called her instead of taking the inspiration from her personal life without her permission.
"Now I wanna now who was the genius who had this wonderful idea of adapting your and Emma's story like the script of a film, to an instagram caption," Florence told her, pausing the movie.
Bianca shook her head, unable to find something to say. "I-I don't know. I left before they published it."
"It seems that they have suicidal thoughts," Florence scoffed. "Besides, darling? They could have used love, honey, sweetheart... but no, they wrote darling while knowing well Emma used to call you that. She has even been too educated for my liking. If I were her, I would have already planned how to murder who did this."
"Well, luckily, she is more diplomatic than you." Bianca sighed loudly, rubbing her eyes as she got up to get some water. "What did other people write?" She asked, closing the fridge.
"Uhm, nothing interesting. Basically, everyone says that you look very cute together and that they wished they experienced something like that once in their life." The brunette calmly answered, scrolling down the infinite amount of comments that kept arriving non-stop. "Oh, and someone is was enough smart to to two plus two and link your name with Emma is wondering how she will react to your new relationship with her best friend," the girl went on wearing a mischievous grin which made Bianca pray God that she had nothing strange in mind. It was never a good sign seeing that grin on Florence's face, Bianca had leaned the hard way over the years. "I'm curious to see what she will say..."
She pointed a finger at the taller girl, trying her best to result threatening. "Don't even go there, Flo. She will respond in the best possible way."
Her phone was on the edge of exploding any moment now due to all the messages she was getting, but now she didn't want to answer any of them. She just wanted to spend a normal day relaxing on the couch with Florence without having to worry about anything and anyone.
Though, when she saw Jennifer's name appearing on the screen, she opened their chat to reply to her due to how badly their last conversation ended.
Jen🏹
So you and Daniel are a thing now? I thought you weren't over Emma yet.
Bianca
Yeah, well, I had to move on sooner or later. She doesn't love me, and Dan is a
great guy.
Jen🏹
Ahaha, a great guy? Girl, he is your boyfriend, don't you have better adjectives to describe him?
As Bianca thought really hard to come up with a Dan's quality, Jennifer had wrote another message.
Jen🏹
Handsome, kind, funny, great kisser, generous... if you want to get some ideas.
Bianca
I was just typing them but thank you😂.
Jen🏹
Sure... call me when you get back with Emma. I'll be patiently waiting for that moment.
Now it came the hard part. She had to convince the world that she loved Dan, and if she couldn't even do it through a message, how could she do in public?
********
A/N: two chapters in a week, wow!
No Emma in this chapter, but we discovered a little bit what she went through all the years she and Bianca were apart.
Would you like to see another flashback in the next chapter? If yes, which moment of their relationship?
Also I couldn't put the messages how I wanted cause all the text went left, so I thought to insert it like this. Let me know what you would like to see next.
See you in the next chapter, byeeee!!! 😘