Addison
Concern over Matt's pain slowly morphed into desire as I trailed my fingertips down his spine. Even though the source of his ache was in his lower back, given permission to finally indulge in touching him, I found my hands wandering a bit outside the designated massage zone.
Focus, Addison. I forced my hands to return to his problem area while I tried to think up scenarios that were not a turn-on.
Going to the gym...Matt getting sweaty at the gym. A lecture in English class...Matt entering the room and fooling around with me on top of my desk.
I sighed. My idea clearly wasn't working. Alright, how about Vanessa? There was nothing quite as unsexy as betraying one's best friend. This is her boyfriend. They love each other. He gave her a ring. That was that. There would be no him and I fooling around in any location.
My hormones slowly began to settle, and I almost felt indifferent about what I was doing until Matt moaned.
"Oh, God, Addison," He murmured. "That feels incredible. Don't stop."
My heart slammed against my rib cage, and I swallowed hard, wishing the growing lust I felt towards him to subside. But he made the task rather challenging by sighing blissfully. "Mmm...yes, right there," he whispered.
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Can I turn back the clock to the day when a noise such as that from his lips would have repulsed me?
No knowing what else to do to stop the ache of desire, I slapped him on the back.
"Ow!" He cried, glancing over his shoulder at me and scowling. "What the fuck was that for?"
I shrugged. "Quit making sex noises. It's weird and gross."
He turned away, plopping his head down onto the pillow. "You're nuts. There was no reason to assault me."
I resumed my leisurely rubbing and despite the brief interlude, I quickly found myself becoming even more aroused. Studying his toned shoulders, I wondered if he was as turned on as I was. I was so focused on picturing what I would find below his waist if I flipped him over onto his back that I stopped paying attention to what my hands were even doing.
As I pushed my palms downward, my fingers slipped below the waistband of his jeans, and I began caressing his behind.
He tensed up immediately and rolled over, furrowing his brows at me. "Whoa, hey, what are you doing?" He grumbled.
I shook my head, clearing the daydream from my brain. What had I been doing? I blinked innocently at him, but my burning scarlet cheeks gave away my embarrassment. My ego took an even bigger blow when I noted the lack of a prominent erection and the evident indication that he was not as into the massage as I had been.
"Um..." I stammered out. "I was just kneading the base of your spine. Isn't that where you pulled your muscle?"
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Seriously, Addison?" He asked flabbergasted. "Do you really not know basic human anatomy? That wasn't my spine. That was my ass you were just groping."
I tried to play off my mortification with a laugh. "Whoops. I guess I was too busy trying not to be revolted by the idea of touching you that I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing. I had to pretend that you were Harry Styles just to get through it, you know."
"So, really, I was doing you a favor," I rambled. "And when someone does something nice, it's rude to complain."
He gave me a strange look, waving me away "Alright. I think we've both endured enough here. This is moving well past weird." He shifted to sit up but immediately winced and cried out. "Fuck...never mind. I'm just going to live here."
He pressed his fist to his mouth and exhaled.
"Do you want me to continue?" I started to place my hand back on him, but he caught my wrist before I could make contact.
"No," he replied sternly.
I crossed my arms across my chest as I stared at him. "Matt, are you really that bent out of shape because I accidentally grazed your butt a little?"
"A little?!" He repeated. "Addie, you were full-on cupping me as though you're testing the ripeness of a fruit." He scooted away from me. "I knew it was going to be a bad idea to let you touch me."
Hurt flooded through me as though he had slapped me. Is the thought of us being together in any sort of sexual manner truly that awful to him?
I pushed off the mattress. "Fine, suffer in pain for all I care. I was only trying to help."
I strode over to my vanity, retrieving my journal from my vanity and rushing out of the room before he could catch the tears that I had sprung to my eyes and dotted my lashes.
***
The grandfather clock in the corner of the formal sitting room chimed two am and I pushed back my journal and rubbed the heavy sensation of drowsiness from my eyes. My bed was beginning to call my name and it wasn't just because Matt was draped over it.
Clicking off the television, I gathered my diary and pen before tiptoeing upstairs. Gingerly I opened the door to my room, expecting to find Matt passed out asleep but to my surprise, he was still up. The sound of some obnoxious video played from his phone as he laid on his stomach, his gaze glued to the screen.
"How are you feeling?" I asked.
He shrugged, setting his cell down and shifting to face me. "Better once I get some sleep, I think."
His sights might mine and I cleared my throat. "You can sleep here if you want but if you think that you're going to banish me to the rock-hard sofa, you're out of your mind. So, if it makes you that uncomfortable to be in my bed with me or you're worried about what Vanessa will say then I suggest you start planning on how you're going to get yourself home."
"That's fine," he replied, picking up his phone once more.
"What is?" I inquired. "You staying here or you leaving?"
Matt glanced up at me. "It's fine, I'll stay here and no, I don't expect you to sleep on the couch, on the floor, or anywhere else except your own bed."
"Oh..." I stared down at my lap, butterflies growing in my stomach at the thought of us cuddling up together beneath the sheets. "You aren't worried about it crossing some sort of friendship line?"
"Addison..." he reasoned. "We're sharing a bed not exchanging bodily fluids."
I curled my lip into a sneer. "Leave it up to you to make sex sound so disgusting."
Giving him a pat on the knee, I stood up and headed over to my dresser to rummage for a pair of pajamas. My fingers hovered over my red silky slip with the lacey cups. Man present or not, I enjoyed sleeping swathed in luxury but would the garment be too scandalous with Matt there?
I sifted through my lingerie drawer, the other options being not much better. Exhaling, I snatched up the racy garment, figuring it was more appropriate than climbing into bed in just my bra and panties. I disappeared into my walk-closet, slipping the soft fabric over my body.
I paused briefly at the door before re-emerging. Matt had never witnessed me wearing my sleepwear before and I would have been lying if I had claimed that I didn't expect him to do a double-take when he laid eyes on me in my revealing nightie.
But I was wrong. He didn't even glance up as I entered back into his line of vision. He was tapping away on his phone, presumably to Vanessa, and disappointment swelled inside my chest.
Honestly, Addison, I chided myself. What do you expect to happen? He's a taken man and even if he were to make a move, you know that you would never betray your best friend by sleeping with her boyfriend.
But still, it would be nice if he could at least acknowledge that he thought I looked hot.
I posed myself seductively against my vanity, accidentally knocking over bottles of perfume and cosmetics with a clatter. At that, he finally did look up. With a scowl on his face.
"I can't hear the video Vanessa sent me," he scolded. "Can you please be a little less noisy?"
Exhaling loudly, I marched across the bedroom and flipped off the light, leaving him in the darkness. I crawled beneath the covers and wordlessly, we laid there.
The closeness of his body next to mine generated heat and I dropped my hand onto the bedspread, itching to feel my way towards his fingers and grasp them in my hold. It would only take a slight touch in an intimate region for desire to take full control and our limbs to be intertwined as we engaged in passionate sex.
But as I listened in the silence for some clue that he wanted me too, I found my answer in the steady rhythm of his breathing. He was asleep, indicating how apparent it was that being intimate with me was the furthest thing from his mind.
Eventually, I was able to settle into a restless slumber only to be awakened by him shifting and sighing repeatedly. Gone were my feelings of desire, replaced by sheer irritation.
"Matt," I growled from utter exhaustion. "I sweat to God, if I had known you were going to be this annoying, I would have dragged you out of bed myself and forced you to go home. Quit moving!"
He flipped over onto his back and huffed again. "I can't fucking sleep like this. It's too damn hot with your enormous comforter smothering me, my back is aching, and my jeans are uncomfortable."
Feeling cranky from my interrupted rest, I ripped the blanket off him and fished out a bottle of ibuprofen from my bedside table, thumping it against his chest. "There. I solved your dilemma. Are you content now?"
He popped two pills into his mouth and swallowed them. "I guess. I'm still not comfortable in these pants though."
I propped myself up onto my elbows and glared at him. "Then take them off for all I care," I spat out through clenched teeth. You're being a pain in the ass right now and if I don't get some sleep soon, I promise you that you're going to be a whole lot more uncomfortable."
He opened his mouth to protest, and I knew he was going to bring up Vanessa and how "it would be weird" to sleep stripped down next to me.
I sighed. "Matt, get over yourself. I've seen you naked. You don't need to be a prude about wearing just your boxers in my presence."
"Fine," he mumbled, sitting up to try and slip out of his jeans. But he instantly cried out in pain.
"Seriously?" I pushed back the covers and crawled over to his side of the bed. "You're so damn helpless. You're acting as though you're a newborn baby."
I reached for the zipper on his bottoms, and it wasn't lost on me that I had fantasized about that very moment a dozen times but in far more seductive terms. He nudged me away. "I'll do that. Vanessa would flip if I let you anywhere near...um...yea."
He worked his fly, managing to push his jeans down past his thighs before nodding at me. "Go ahead," he instructed. "Fuck, this is humiliating."
My hands trembled slightly as I reached for the waistband off his jeans and began slipping the denim from his body. My fingers brushed the length of his muscled legs, and I knew that I could no longer deny just how infatuated with his body that I was.
But it absolutely needed to end there. I could accept my feelings of lust for him but that was as far as I could take it. There would be no stroking, no kissing and certainly no having sex. He wasn't available.
As far as I was concerned, Matt was completely off-limits.
I can handle this, I assured myself. It's only physical desire. It's not as though I'm falling for him.