Ruka comes to find us not long after Ande lapses into silence. Casin came with her: I feel her go by, an almost imperceptible presence in the darkness. Patrolling for us. Ruka too checks around before she settles on the rocks in front of me. "Are you up for talking?" she signs.
The pity on her face makes my heart plunge. I know what she's asking. I've been avoiding it, and it feels terrible to keep it from her, but I couldn't. Before we left for Roshaska, at least. I feel a lot less unstable now.
"Can we go somewhere private?" I sign.
"That was my next question."
"Out or down?"
Ande is watching me. She's always watching: I get the sense she can pluck details from even the smallest nuances of a conversation, and integrate them into what she knows about the ocean. She rarely asks questions. But it explains how she's adjusted to the ocean so fast regardless.
"I think down," answers Ruka after a pause.
I can't sit still much longer, so I push off and wait for the others to join me. Ruka's people move fast when they want to, but that's rarely their default, and I don't want to swim alone. Ande darts a glance at me, then takes up a position at my side. She keeps one hand on her dagger. Ruka remains silent all the way to the bottom of her comfortable depth. We're past the temperature line, as safe from divers as we're going to get. Also out of view of any shallow-water eavesdroppers.
I round on Ruka when she stops. "Are you worried about the Karu faction here?"
She groans. "You were paying attention."
"It wasn't hard to miss. Vibi interacts with a whole different segment of the fort than you do."
"I'm just being cautious."
I cross my arms. That's not an answer. Least of all when she just recommended deeper water over another seamount to find somewhere safe to talk. Deep water rules out Karu faster.
"Can we talk about that a different time?" signs Ruka. "Right now, we need to know everything we can about Arcas."
My flare of defiance dies. I sink to the rocks again. I want something stable under me if we're going to be talking about this. I've never told anyone what happened that night. What happened with Arcas.
"She let me go," I sign before my body fails me.
Ande goes rigid. Ruka's grimace borders on pain.
"I was supposed to be in the hall." Now that I've started, the words don't stop. I have to stay ahead of them now, or they'll crush me alive. "But there was a conflict in the second branch tunnels near the city rim, and I was the only one around who knew West Island Shalda. It wasn't official... she didn't know I had gone. She must have already laid the poison, or she would have stopped the plan. Or she didn't realize until too late that I wasn't with the others."
She can't have predicted the flare-up I went to take care of, and it wasn't staged. I know a genuine conflict when I see one. The Shalda in question just needed someone to listen to them anyway. "I came back to the palace after. But she'd... she'd already acted."
Ande wants to hug me. Or at least put a hand on my shoulder. I shrink back on instinct, and she retreats to a comfortable distance. There are horrible images lurking just beneath the surface of my mind. If I keep talking, I can stay ahead of them. At least for now.
"She jumped me." My stomach stabs with pain at the recollection, though the wound there has long since healed. "I hadn't eaten the poison, so she pinned me down and made me. I don't think she realized... realized she'd have to watch."
Watch me die.
It's stamped in my memory. She regretted it. The moment I was down, I saw it in her face, before I started to lose my breathing. After that, everything else blurred.
We weren't close, but we crossed paths. I was a negotiator, always out among the many Kel peoples who live in Ashianti territory. She ran emergency help to patrols. Always in contact with the Saru. She wanted an alliance with them to protect us when the ocean started changing, but the targets she picked were stronger than they were safe. Arcas wanted to overlook things the rest of the palace wasn't comfortable with. I think it could have worked if the Saru had been willing to release part of their territory back to the people they'd seized it from. But that option wasn't considered. By the time that Saru group joined the Alliance, they were too far for anyone to reach with a better offer.
Arcas didn't give up like the palace did. She stayed in contact with them.
We both watched the ocean's changes first-hand, at the very edge of our territory. We knew how bad things were getting. We knew that what we were doing wasn't enough. And we both cared. Arcas cares so much. It's a misconception people have about her. She wants to protect the Ashianti as much as I do.
The best defense is a strong offense, the Alliance would say.
Arcas and I understood each other. We both knew why we were in our roles. What we wanted to accomplish. Why we believed what we did. We believed in the same causes. I don't know if she realized she would have to kill me to take control of the Ashianti. Or maybe she tried to ignore it until she had to do it with her own hands.
"She panicked," I sign. It's getting hard to talk again.
Panicked and let me go. I was still aware enough to make a break for it, and by then, the guards were on their way. She didn't have time to come after me and change her mind.
"I made it... over the rim. And down to the silt-fields. That's where they found me."
I nod to Ande; her and Taiki are as good as a single unit in this context. I remember almost nothing from that night. Just the deep, crying relief of being able to breathe again.
"They came after you," signs Ande quietly. "Alliance Kels."
So Arcas still found the strength to kill me so long as someone else landed the final blow. It hurts more than it should.
"You escaped," I reply.
"I convinced Taiki that we should take you. We hid around the other side of that seamount north of Rapal. Taiki said the Alliance wouldn't believe you could make it there in your current state. I don't know if that's what happened, but they didn't find us. I guess that's where we were when you woke up."
I don't want to remember those exchanges either. I have some memories of them, but I'd rather relegate those to the haze that consumes the rest. I don't want to ask, either, what Taiki would have done had Ande not convinced him to shelter me. A deeper, more resigned part of me already knows.
I turn to Ruka instead. I have other things to think about here, and I'm ready to be done with my own story. "What was the last you heard from Denizel? What state is the city in?"
"His first update was how we suspected you were still alive." Ruka seems amenable to the change of topic. "That was shortly after the coup. There were roles Arcas couldn't take until you were confirmed dead, and there was no body. Denizel suspected Arcas knew something, because she kept looking. But she always tried to use the Alliance in her searches."
She must not have been thinking straight. If she was, she'd have known that would flag to anyone who knew her that something was amiss.
Ruka continues, "At the time, she was blaming the Karu north faction for the assassinations. And she hadn't ejected anyone from Rapal... just dropped hints that they would all have to fight if it came down to open conflict. There was natural attrition from that, but Denizel said a lot of people were easily convinced to stay. Arcas is relying on the narrative that if the ocean's state keeps deteriorating, there won't be any choice left but to fight. And that the Alliance Sami and Saru have been too long excluded from the city's openness."
That's the smarts I'm used to from Arcas. She's not antagonizing people. She's not angering the city. Some will leave, but they'll think it's their own decision. The rest will stay.
Ruka looks older and more tired the longer she talks about this. "The last Winona spoke to Denizel, he was working to figure out the Rapal end of the information trade. Who the Sandsingers' messages are going to, and what the implications might be for the war. He suspected someone suspected him, but they didn't have proof or power to unseat him. We have a way to reach him, but that contact will need to flee the city the moment we get Denizel and Xivay out. We only get one shot at this."
"I can help," signs Ande. "What needs to happen?"
Ruka's expression twists like it always does when she wants to protest someone's involvement in a dangerous undertaking. She's turned that look on me so many times, I would lose count within a week if we were around each other all the time. She doesn't like getting young people tangled up in what she perceives as adult problems. I can see her point, but it doesn't stop me from disagreeing.
This time, though, the expression never turns to words. Ruka remains silent for a while before sighing deeply. "To reach Rapal, we're going to need a diversion team and one to actually reach the city. We could use you on either. Does anyone in Rapal recognize your face?"
Ande's smile turns wry. "Casin did."
That draws a chuckle from Ruka. "I may need you on the Rapal team, then. We're desperately short on unknown faces who can swim long-distance. I'll want Taiki along as well; he can present as either Shalda or Karu with that tail, and multilingualism is an asset in Rapal. Can you fight?"
Ande's eyebrows pinch together. "Kind of? I can stab things?"
"Well, you're good enough at that. I can train you up a little before we leave. You're going to want both those weapons handy." She nods to Ande's daggers. "Our biggest disadvantage right now is that nearly all our strongest fighters are known faces in Rapal. And I'm going to need to send El on the diversion team."
Ande's curiosity is killing her, I can tell. But following our previous conversation about El, she says nothing. Right now, it's safer if she doesn't know.
"I'll take Yaz if she'll come," continues Ruka. "And I'll obviously need to be there. Vibi has already volunteered to lead the diversion, and I'm sending Innis with El. Finika will have to hold down Underfarrow alone, but that shouldn't be an issue in the short term. Ugh."
I tip my head as she draws both hands down her face like she always does when she's stressed. "Sar," she signs, "you're the only person we have who knows sun-sign."
I freeze. "Why do you need sun-sign?"
"The diversion is going to involve taking back Alaga." That's a message-island at the open-water edge of Ashianti territory. It's just a day off the far end of the Gods' Teeth. "It's only tenuously held right now, from what we can tell. Arcas has been betting on relative peace to focus on solidifying her position in Rapal. But the more local people the diversion team can get on their side, the better their chances of succeeding."
"We're not actually taking the island, are we?"
"Only temporarily. A move on such a key point in the open-water relay system implies we want to disperse messages, and Arcas will fear whatever those might be. Remember, she knows you're still alive, but she doesn't know where you are. She can't let Rapal find out what happened to you, or her whole plan will sink. But we don't need to keep the island. We just need to draw off the Alliance's fighting forces long enough to get Denizel and Xivay out of Rapal."
I understand now why she wants El on the diversion team. He's not far below me on the list of people Arcas wants dead, and his presence at the island will necessitate a large Alliance force in response. If we can drain Rapal of even half Arcas's forces, it could be the difference between success and failure for the team sneaking in.
"I can go," I sign. I know I need to stay safe, but there are villages out there that I haven't seen in over a year, and the whole area has been torn up by the Alliance in that time. "I'll want to connect with the Saru tribes, right? They're the only fighting force out there that's still independent. Unless the Alliance has absorbed them since I last heard updates."
"I don't actually know," admits Ruka. "But even if they've been forced into the Alliance, there are sure to be dissenters."
"I don't want to put them in danger if there are."
"I trust you completely in reading the situation and helping them make an informed decision."
That'll be tricky, but it's nowhere near the hardest negotiation I've ever taken on. And I like that area. I'm looking forward to being there again. Especially if I'm there with a Karu fighting force, Innis, and El. If we get out again before the Alliance arrives, my risk of getting caught is low, and Ruka has now confirmed that Arcas knows I'm alive. It doesn't matter if the Alliance sees me, then. They're in on the secret already if she's been sending them out to look for me. Everything will be okay so long as nobody tells Rapal.
"We're not actually sending out messages from Alaga, are we?" I sign. That's my biggest remaining worry.
"Vibi's Karu will be, but only to gather allies on that end of the Gods' Teeth. Last I heard, they're planning to direct refugees back towards safer territory on this end of it, too."
"Do you trust her?"
Ruka doesn't answer for just a moment too long.
"What aren't you telling?" I ask, giving her a hard look. I want to know everything I can about the Kels I'll be traveling with if I'm relying on them for safety.
Ruka sighs. "I trust her not to cause you harm. If she gets enthusiastic with Karu mobilization, we could have a bigger conflict on our hands than I'm hoping. But if that happens, you, Innis, and El can retreat on your own. Any enemies in the area will be distracted, and you three are faster than the others you'll be traveling with."
"Is Casin coming with us?"
"No. I need at least one other person who knows their way around Rapal. She's already agreed to come with me."
That's a pity. Not that she'll be along where she's needed—just that she won't be with us. I'm comfortable with Innis and El, though. "When are we leaving? How set is the plan?"
"Half a moon. Take this time to rest. We need you in peak form. Ande, we'll talk about getting you some lessons with those daggers."
Ande tries to suppress the smile that tugs the corners of her lips at that, but she doesn't succeed. I think she's looking forward to it.
"I said rest," signs Ruka, eyeing me. I pause mid-sign. I'm being surreptitious, but Ruka knows me too well.
"I can rest and practice at the same time," I sign, switching back from sun-sign. "I haven't been practicing enough since I left Rapal. And I'm not fluent in this one."
"You were perfectly conversational last I checked."
"That's not fluent." I go back to practice signs. Ande's smile tugs wider. I pause. "What?"
"Did you ever figure out which of you knows more languages?" she signs. "You and Taiki."
"Yes. I do."
"Figured."
"Do you want to learn any?"
She eyes my hands. "How about I learn to stab things properly first."
"You already practice songs." I've heard her, humming snippets of the water-moving and Unity songs when she doesn't realize or care that I'm listening. "And dances, and you're bi-dialectical already. It's not that different."
"I'll stick to my dialects, then. I'll be happy if I can learn one song, let alone a language."
"You already know two. Unity and the island song. Right?"
She rolls her eyes. "Fine. If I can learn one other song. Also, I don't have the Unity Song perfected yet."
"You're close enough. It doesn't need to be perfect when we don't even know what it does yet."
"Yet?" signs Ruka with a lifted eyebrow.
"Oh, we didn't reach that part yet when we were talking before." Ande brightens immediately as her alliance comes up. "We're gathering Kels."
She explains her new project. The moment she mentions Neem, though, Ruka goes rigid. "He's allied with you now?"
"Allied enough."
"Did you ask him anything about the Sandsingers when you were talking?"
Ande frowns. "I don't remember? I don't think so. Why?"
I realize why only moments before Ruka signs it. "Because the Sandsinger leaders were the only ones who knew all our liaisons' contacts around the islands and in the open water. They may not know who's receiving their messages on the open-water end, but if Neem's not with them anymore, he may be open to talking. He—"
She breaks off abruptly. I spin around as a presence in the water signals the approach of someone from further up the island. They stop at what must be the edge of their depth range and trill into the water. Calling for Ruka.
"Wait here," she signs. I jump up on reflex, and she starts to protest, then sighs. "Fine."
I follow her up the island-side, and Ande follows me. We find Plix, Underfarrow's main messenger, waiting at the bottom of the table-reefs. His face is grim.
"Is the Hoshi-Kel with you?" he asks, and my heart drops. Taiki.
"No," says Ruka. "Why?"
"He was seen leaving the island half a hand's length ago. We haven't found anyone who can tell us where he went."
Ruka's eyes narrow. "He shouldn't be going anywhere without informing us. Have you asked Yaz?"
"Can't find her, either."
Which means Yaz doesn't want to be found.
"I'll find her," says Ruka. "I'll report back with whatever I find. Is that all?"
Plix nods, his face impassive. He takes his leave.
"He left," signs Ande quietly, as soon as Plix is gone. Ruka and I both give her questioning looks. "Taiki," she clarifies. "He was going to find our people again. If he's left anywhere, it's there."
Ruka curses softly. "That makes things a whole lot harder for us in Rapal."
"I can help."
Their eyes meet. Ande looks calm on the outside, bordering on serene. She must be terrified—she's clenching her dagger to hide a shaking hand—but she's grown so much even since I first met her.
"Meet me in the Network pocket as soon as this storm is over," signs Ruka. "If you're right about Taiki, we're going to need that help."