The last few days had been a blur for me. I couldn't tell what was real or not anymore. George hadn't left me alone once and if he needed to go away he always called Lando or Lewis.
they had tried to talk to me several times and tried to get me to tell them what happened before they came in but I refused to talk to anyone. As I guessed, George had called and told our parents because they had tried to call me several times but I refused to talk.
I had become like a shell of myself. I didn't eat, I barely slept, I didn't talk, I didn't take care of my hygiene anymore. I just sat and looked out the window. sometimes I didn't even notice there was anyone in the same room as me.
Christian had found out that something had happened to me and said that I would not compete next weekend and take it easy but that I was more than happy to come and check. I tried to explain to Christian that I was going to race because it was the only thing that could take my focus off of something else but he had explained that I wasn't in the right state of mind to race right now. I knew he was right.
MAX POV
lando:
can you come over to belle's room none of the rest of us can keep tabs on her now.
Max:
does she want me to be there then?
lando:
she never notices who is there. it's like she's in a whole other world
Max:
I'll be over in 5
I put on other clothes and went over to her hotel room. I hadn't seen her since the night of the nightmare but I had heard that no one had seen her like this before. everyone declared that she was like a shell and her personality and everything had disappeared. Lando had explained that George was worried that she had lost interest in f1 as well.
I knocked on the door and Lando opened shortly after and explained where she was before he had to rush off on some errand. I went to the window where she had sat every day. when I got into the bedroom I was crushed to see her, she had lost several kilos and she looked like she had lost all color and she was curled up against the wall.
i thought about what lando had said about her barely knowing anyone was in the same room as her so i slowly walked up to her and said her name so as not to startle her. i knew we should avoid touching her so i stopped myself before touching her shoulder.
I sat on the other side and said her name again. before she had not reacted but now I saw that she reacted to her name. she didn't check on me but i knew she knew i was here.
"hello Belle" I said again gently.
she still had her focus on the view but she gave a careful and quick nod as if to say hello back.
"is there anything you need"
"water" she answered shortly and I was glad she was talking to me
I carefully stood up again and went out to the kitchen and got a cold bottle of water and went back to her and placed it next to her. I sat down in the same place again. I saw her reach for the bottle but she was shaking all over and struggling to open the cap.
"do you want me to open it for you"
"Yes thank you"
i took the bottle and opened it and gave it to her. watching her struggle with trying to drink was heartbreaking for me. I don't know when exactly it happened but I realized now that I really had feelings for her. when I saw that she couldn't drink by herself, I jumped a little closer.
"do you want me to help you"
once again she just nodded and placed the bottle next to her and I picked it up.
"can i touch you"
i noticed she hesitated but after many seconds of thinking she looked at me and gave me a gentle nod, you would have missed her nodding if you didn't have all the focus on her but i sat down close to her and gently raised my hand and the one behind her head. I was fully focused on how she reacted to someone touching her and she jumped when she felt my hand.
I quickly took my hand away but when she relaxed again I brought my hand back up and tilted her head back a bit and gently poured the water into her mouth. i stopped pouring because she could swallow it and when she showed she wanted more i started pouring the water again.
when she had drunk half the bottle she showed that she didn't want any more so I screwed the cork back on and jumped back to the other side so she could have her space and not feel like I was invading her space.
after several minutes of silence she started to move again and this time it was clear that she wanted to go to bed and try to sleep. I got up and let her go there herself.
"I'm by the sofa if you need anything" I said after she lay down and closed the door gently.
---
after 30 minutes i heard belle start to whimper in the room and finally she started screaming so i ran to see what was happening. when I came in she sat up quickly and was breathing heavily. I understood that it was a nightmare she had had. when she calmed down and lay back down i started to close the door when i suddenly heard her talking.
"can you be here with me"
"uh, yes absolutely if you're comfortable with that"
I moved to the other side of the bed, being careful not to make any quick movements. when I had gotten comfortable and started scrolling through social media and was surprised that she had fallen back asleep so quickly and came closer to me and put her arm around me.
i got hot and lay down and removed the hair from her face. I lay there looking at her and couldn't stop smiling at the knowledge that I was the only one who had been allowed to touch her after the rape. Lando had declared that no one was allowed to touch her and when you got close to her she became hysterical. I thought about everything before I felt my eyelids get heavy and soon I fell asleep too.
LANDO POV:
i came back from my errands and when i opened her hotel door it was very quiet. I didn't see Max and got angry at the thought that he had left her alone so I started going around every room to see where he was but couldn't find him anywhere.
I sighed and gently knocked on her door and gently opened it. what I was greeted with was Belle and Max holding each other in their sleep. it was cute, I have to admit, and I took a few pictures of them before I went to the sofa and put on a movie
it didn't take many minutes before I heard someone walking in the room and soon Max came out and sat next to me. he had a wide smile on his face and he seemed nervous that I was sitting there.
"when did you come"
"yes I came like 10 minutes ago, you were sleeping so I didn't want to wake you, how did you get Belle to be okay with you touching her"
"she wanted water so I got a water bottle but she needed help drinking so I asked if I could touch her, she was unsure at first but then she let me. then she had a nightmare and asked if I could sit next to her so I did it and when I fell asleep she put her arm around me and after they fell asleep II was a little jealous that Max was the one who got to help her. me and george had struggled a lot with everything from touching her, to helping her with daily things like giving her the waters or something.
we talked further about what to do as we knew she wanted to be in the next race but we were both worried if it would be too overwhelming for her. It had gotten out to the media that something terrible had happened and people had figured out that it was probably a rape and people would start asking her about it.
we both fell silent when we heard noises from the bedroom and we understood that she had woken up. we tensed as we saw the door slowly open and out came Belle. she looked at us like we had three heads but went to the sofa and sat with us firmly with distance.
"hey how are you" i asked leaning forward
"good for now" she mumbled and had a hard time keeping eye contact with us
"Are you hungry" Max asked now
"a little"
"shall we order sushi"
"you don't like sushi Lando" she laughed and both me and Max looked at each other in surprise.
"I know you like it so I'll order it"
I wrote to Lewis and George that it seemed to be a better day for Belle and that they should hurry to the room before she returned to being a shell again. we tried to joke a lot and be as positive as possible to get her thinking about something else.
I ordered food for everyone and suggested we watch a movie or play something. when there was a knock on the door. Belle flinched at the sudden sound but when I told her it was probably George and Lewis she immediately calmed down a lot.
I went and opened it and they stepped in with a smile on their face. when i turned to sit back down i saw max didn't like the mercedes guys being here. he sighed deeply and picked up his cell phone and started scrolling.
we all sat down on the sofa and George sat down next to Belle and I saw that he was about to give her a hug but caught himself before touching her.
"Okay Belle, what do you want to do" Lewis asked
"film" she answered shortly but I recognized her mischievous eyes and I knew where it would lead.
"okay, what movie do you want to see" I asked with a playful tone in my voice.
"I want to see cars"
"then it will be cars"
I saw how she all dissolved and George leaned back on the sofa and had a big smile on his face. those who knew Belle well knew that cars movies were something she loved and also something she and I always watched every time we watched movies together.
while they started the movie i went looking for blankets and comforters that everyone could get and lewis had gotten up when there was a knock on the door which was the food we had ordered earlier. I went back with everything I had found and everyone got a blanket each.
halfway through the movie belle had fallen asleep against george's shoulder and i took control and turned the volume down so she could sleep.
"when does everyone leave for the next race" I asked after there had been a moment of stiff silence.
"Lewis and I are leaving tomorrow and Belle will probably go with us too if she wants to"
"can't she go with me" I replied back.
"if she wants it, she can"
Max started moving like he couldn't sit comfortably, Lewis noticed and looked at him annoyed.
"Did she get any sleep while we were gone" Lewis asked, having my focus on me.
"You should ask Max about that," I replied,
"so, Max"
"um, yes she got it"
"yes they slept together when I came back" I giggled before I caught myself and immediately fell silent
"you what" George snorted at Max.
"she was sleeping and I was sitting on the couch and she had a nightmare and asked if I could sleep next to her"
"you shouldn't be near my sister any more" George replied
Max immediately became irritated and I knew it could end badly if everyone didn't calm down. Lewis stood up and so did Max. They looked at each other for a few seconds and I saw that Max clenched his fists.
"you should probably go now Max" Lewis said which was almost a whisper.
Max looked at Belle who was still sleeping against George's shoulder before he looked up at Lewis and gave him a light push before walking towards the door and slamming it behind him causing Belle to wake up startled.
"where's max" she asked after she had looked around
"he needed to go do something" Lewis replied giving her a fake smile.
I felt that the evening was ruined for everyone. I asked Belle if she wanted to go with me to the next race and she wanted to, but apart from that nothing happened during the rest of the evening.