[August]
It's finally Friday which mean I get ta' talk ta' Amber. Befo' it felt like ole girl was avoidin' a nigga but then she said somethin' bout Jess needin' ha' help. Part of me was pissed cuz it feel like I'm payin' ha' fa' nothin'. Maybe I'll undastand betta if she explained it ta' me.
To: Wifey
You meetin' wit me today or are you ditchin' me again?
From: Wifey
Yes. I am meeting with you like I said. It's Friday isn't it? Okay. I thought so.
I laughed ta' myself as I read ha' reply.
To: Wifey
You gotta smart ass mouff on ya'. We meetin' at yo house or what? We can meet at my crib if ya' want.
From: Wifey
That's fine. I'm leaving from work & going to get something to eat. I'll be there in like 30 minutes. Text me your address.
I sent ha' my address & went ta' straighten up da livin' room & da guest bathroom. Nothin' mo nastier than goin' ta' somebody bathroom & it bein' dirty & smellin' like shit.
I ain't have ta' clean da kitchen cuz it was already clean. I ain't cook nuthin' so it's good. I always clean my room every mornin'/aftanoon befo' I leave da house. Ion think we need ta' come in hea anyway unless she wanna fuck which I doubt.
(August house in MM)
*ding dong*
"Come in!", I yelled from da couch. I heard da door open & close.
She followed ma voice & I saw ha' walk in wit 2 bags of food & her purse. She stood in front of me wit ha' hand on ha' hip, givin' me da look of hell.
I looked her up & down, biting my lip. "Why you lookin' at me like dat?"
"August why is your door unlocked? Do you know that anyone can come in at any moment & kill you?", Amber fussed.
She so damn sexy when she mad. Ha' face turn a lil red & her nose scrunches up.
"I ain't worried bout it. I gotta glock in almost every room so I'm straight.", I shrugged.
"What's a glock?", she asked wit her eyebrows furrowed.
"A gun babeh.", I laughed.
Ha' cheeks turned a dark shade of red & she turned ha' head & quickly looked down so I wouldn't see it. Awe she blushin'.
"Um I didn't want to be rude & eat in front of you so I got you something to eat as well.", she said grabbing a bag & handin' it ta' me.
I notice they bag anywhere. Babeh girl bought me ma' favorite. Pop Eyes.
"So I guess just cuz I'm from New Orleans I'm supposed ta' eat or like Pop Eyes? Kinda judgmental don't ya' think?", I asked lookin' at ha' wit a straight face.
Ha' eyes got big & she put ha' hand ova ha' mouth.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just remember talking about what foods we like & you said you really like Pop Eyes & I-I", she rambled wit an apology.
"Hey. Hey. It's cool I was just playin'. I love Pop Eyes. Thank you.", I said cuttin' ha' off befo' she have a damn panic attack.
"You almost made me freak out. I thought you were seriously mad.", she pouted.
"Fix ya' face. Now come on so we can eat & get ta' work.", I said pattin' da couch, tellin' ha' ta' sit by me.
************************************
"You ready?", I asked walkin' in da kitchen as I threw away our trash.
"Yeah. Let me get my notepad.", she said reachin' in ha' purse.
Several seconds lata she pulled out ha' notepad, glasses & a pen.
"Okay so last time we talked about your name & your father. What about your Mom?"
I smiled ta' myself & shook ma' head.
"Dats ma' first lady & whea I get ma' support. She one of da' strongest women I've met. I luh ha' wit all ma' heart."
"Awe. Are you guys really close?", she asked softly.
"Kinda. We not close like we used ta' be but it's betta than no relationship at all."
She nodded her head as she wrote somethin' down on ha' notepad then looked up at me when she was done.
"What would you say downsized the relationship between you guys?", she asked.
"Many things. But da main ones have ta' be my step pops & me sellin'."
"You sold drugs?", she asked bitin' on her pen a lil.
"Yeah. Fa' a couple of years. See I grew up in da' true meanin' of da struggle or da' hood. Me, ma' brothas & sista had ta' share a room. We had one bathroom & sometimes all we ate were noodles, bread, pokin-beans & we had oatmeal fa' breakfast. Some nights ma' Mama would give up her plate just so one of us can eat. Afta like a couple weeks in ma' 12th grade year in high school, I dropped out. I got tired of teachas bitchin' at me, homework, & ma' grades were startin' ta' slippin'. Don't get it twisted tho' I was always smart, but I just started gettin' lazy. I got tired of wearin' my brotha clothes. We barely had enough ta' get new clothes. So I wanted ta' get ma' own shit & not depend on nobody. One of da' dudes I knew tole me bout how he sell & how much he make & I wanted dat. So dats whea it started.", I said.
"I totally understand. What about your step father? What happened?"
"Um. Shit he's been in my life since I was 1, when I was a jit. & it's like he don't realize his place or some shit. My Mama put him befo' cuz she too worried bout him & makin' sure he good befo' she check up on us. Especially when he on drugs & she not helpin' him, just makin' it worse. & that has always pissed me off but yet hurt me at da' same time, ya' feel me? Cuz hea I am ya' own son & blood but his needs come first when ya' kids need love & attention."
As I was informin' ha' she looked genuinely concerned.
"Oh my gosh. Do you communicate with him?", she asked.
"Ion got no reason ta' talk ta' him. He tole me all ma' life dat I'll neva be shit. So it's whateva. If I see him thea ain't nothing' ta' speak bout. He not ma' real Pops & we don't have no relationship. Ma' Pops not hea no mo & you not takin' his place."
Again she went back ta' writin'.
"What happened after you dropped out of school & started selling drugs?"
"Uh. Ma' Mama put me out.", I said nonchalantly.
"Are you serious? Why?"
"Yeah. She put me out when I was 16-17."
FLASHBACK
"August! Wake your ass up!", I heard as ma' door opened.
I opened one eye & saw Mama wit a red, pissed off face. I groaned & pulled da' pillow ova ma' face.
"August Anthony if you do not get up, the ambulance will have to pick your yellow ass up!"
"Aight Mama I'm up. What is it?", I mumbled sittin' up.
"What the fuck is this?!!", she yelled, pullin' out a bag of crack cocaine from behind ha' back.
"Uhh. Crack?", I said slightly confused.
"I know what it is! Why did I find it in my house?!"
"Ion know. You think it's mine?"
"If it's not yours then whose is it?", she asked fold in' ha' arms across her chest.
"Um Ion know. Maybe the damn crack fiend you call a husband.", I said sarcastically. Shit was startin' ta' piss me off.
"Watch your mouth in my house! He said he stopped months ago & I know you've been dealing since you dropped out of school! So this has to be yours!"
"Sheila! Baby, you here?", his voice called from the livin' room.
"Yeah. I'll be there in a second."
"Matta fact. Let's go ask him.", I said headin' ta' da' livin' room.
"August come here!", Mama yelled afta me.
"What's going on?", his sorry ass asked.
"Noth-", Mama went ta' say but I cut him off.
"She found crack in da' house & she think it's mine. Tell her da' the truth."
He had a stupid look on his face. Nigga looked like a deer in headlights.
"Baby you know I been clean for a lil ova 3 months now. I ain't doin' it no mo. I swea.", he lied peckin' her lips. Fucking gross.
She kissed his cheek & whispered somethin' in his ear befo' lookin' at me. He kissed her forehead, flicked me off wit a smirk on his face & went down da' hall.
"August.", she sighed.
"Come in Mama. You believe him!? Nigga shakin' as we speak cuz he ain't smoked nun in the last 3 hours!"
"I'm sorry August but I can't deal with this no more.", she said quietly.
"Deal wit what?", I asked wit ma' eyebrows furrowed.
She blinked a couple times before tears started ta' fall from ha' eyes. I hate ta' see ma' Mama cry. & I hate that I'm the one always makin' ha' cry.
"This. You dealing, dropping out, getting in trouble with the police. All of it. I'm just tired of it & I'm not dealing with your shit anymore. You gotta get out of here. I'm sorry, baby.", she cried.
Ma' stopped beatin' fa' a second.
"Wait what?", I asked.
"Get your stuff & get out.", she said wipin' ha' eyes.
"Mama, I'm sorry. I'll stop dealin', I'll get a real job, hell I'll even go back ta' school. Just please let me stay.", I begged as my voice started ta' crack.
"You can't stay here anymore. It's too much to deal with."
"Mama, whea I'm supposed ta' go?!! I don't have no money! I spend all ma' money puttin' food in hea cuz you lost ya' job & ya' sorry ass husband can't eva pass a drug test ta' keep a job! I was honest on ma' part when I admitted to dealin'! But you really think I would do this shit afta' what happened ta' Pops. How you gone believe this fucking crack head befo' ya' own son!!!!", I yelled out of frustration.
WHAP!
Next thing I know, I was leanin' against the wall damn near close ta' fallin'. She back hand da' shit outta me.
"I told you plenty of times to watch your mouth in my ducking house! I don't give a damn where you go & right now I really don't fucking care! I won't tolerate it anymore. You say you didn't smoke it because of what happened to your father but it looks like you're helping people dig their grave by selling it to them!", she yelled as she pointed at me.
"You know what? You don't have ta' worry bout me no mo. Imma get my shit & Imma be out cuz. & just know that you ain't no betta than me when it come ta' drugs. You say I'm diggin' they grave? Well you is too cuz you keep puttin' up wit the same shit wit him. You keep givin' him money knowin' it's fa' crack. You helpin' him shorten his life fasta than you think."
She just looked at me & cried more.
I packed ma' shit quick as angry tears ran down my face. As soon as I was done I left what used ta' be my room. When I walked out to go out da' door, I saw her sobbin' wit her head in her hands.
I sighed & hugged her tightly & kissed her head. She hugged me back & cried in my chest.
"I undastand ya' reason fa' this. If you don't trust & believe me by now then you don't know me as da' man you raised me ta' be. I luh you, Mama. Don't eva fa' a second think I don't.", I whispered in her ear.
[Amber]
"You know what I find funny? Not even a week afta' I left she caught him smokin' crack in da' backyard when he lied bout bein' clean & you know what she did? Not a dam thing! She let dat muthafucka stay afta' she found out her lied ta' he & I was tellin' da' truth. & she didn't even come ta' look fa' ha' homeless 16 year old son.", he said shaking his head as he chuckled darkly.
I didn't say anything. I just listened as he continued.
"That shit hurt me so bad. How can a parent neglect they child fa' somebody else? I undastand ma' wrong doin'. But she wouldn't let me explain or gimme a chance.", he said looking up at me as tears poured out of his eyes.
I sat closer to him & wrapped my arms around his neck. Almost instantly he wrapped his arms around my waist & pulled me into his lap.
"She left me. She fuckin' left me.", he cried in my chest.
"It's okay. It's okay.", I cooed in his ear as I rubbed his back & played with his curls to comfort him.
****************************************
Almost 2 hours later August stopped crying. Now he was taking a nap on my stomach. How we ended up like this? I have the slightest idea.
He groaned & adjusted his body bet www my legs before looking up at me. His eyes were swollen red & his nose was red as well. Poor baby.
"Hey.", I asked.
"Hey. What time is it?", he asked, groggily. Oh his sleepy voice!
"Around 8 something."
"Damn. How long I been sleep?"
"Um for about an hour & 45 minutes. Probably a lil longer."
"Oh. How I ended up on you? You soft as hell & you smell good as fuck.", he said snuggling into my stomach.
"What am I? Your personal pillow?", I asked.
"Yes & pillows don't talk so shhhh.", he said closing his eyes.
He's so extra.
"Amber?"
"Amber, I know you hea me.", he said lifting his head up.
"Sorry. Pillows don't talk.", I said mocking him.
"Ion talk like day.This is serious."
"Okay. What is it?"
"How come Ion know nothin' bout you?", he asked with a serious face.
"What do you want to know?", I asked
"Errythang.", he smiled.